secrets




add a secret





193,398 I’m not losing weight, because every time I go to the gym, and burn more than 300 calories, I reward myself with a Frappuccino, chicken tenders, or a night of weed and the munchies. I’m never going to be 140 again.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,397 I suggested that she does some naked snow angels for the camera. Wow that was not well received. I didn't mean it, I thought the comment was hilarious. Great. Now I'm in trouble.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,396 I have a friend. Whenever I try to have a serious conversation with her about world events, I'll give an opinion and she'll say, "No, your wrong. This is what's happening..."

Why is my opinion always wrong and hers is always right? Shesh. She's my friend but really, shut the fuck up already.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,395 I once read the wrong book for book group. They've never let me forget. Everytime we get together, someone always makes a snide comment, asking what book I read. Ha ha so funny. Not. People, time to let it go.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,394 Hmmm.

Five years ago 26 first grade students were shot in Newtown , CT. It was horrific. The gunman stood there and shot them one by one.

The country said oh, that's bad, It shouldn't have happened.

Last week 17 high school students were shot in Parkland, FL. The country is outraged. There are demonstrations and angry confrontations with politicians. Message, THIS HAS TO STOP NOW!

I'm confused. It didn't have to stop when the 1st graders were shot? Only now when the high schoolers were shot? Why did the 1st graders not matter as much as the high schoolers?

I looked up both towns on Wikipedia.  

Average income in Newtown: $90,000
Average income in Parkland: $277,000

17 high schoolers weren't shot.  17 very wealthy high schoolers were shot. There's the difference. We don't mind very much if poor kids get shot, only when it happens to rich kids.



likes: 0
comments: 1

193,393 Sadly...I think most of the students “affected” by the shootings recently are only interested in protesting, or talking out about their experience (even students who weren’t at school that day!) because they’re just happy not to have class. Students will do anything not to have to actually go to school. I bet some of them don’t actually even care what happened..


likes: 3
comments: 1

193,392 Some AA meetings are so fucking boring. If I was drunk it'd be fun.


likes: 1
comments: 3
flagged

193,391 I just have no interest in the Olympics at all. I know they train and work hard to get to that level, however they just seem like spoiled children to me.


likes: 2
comments: 1

193,390 I read something interesting in Glamour magazine many years ago. It said if you want to know if you have bad breath, lick the back of your hand. Wait 30 seconds. Then smell the back of your hand. I tend to do this several times a day.


likes: 0
comments: 6

193,389 Today at lunch I was going to order a turkey sandwich with russian dressing, but then at the last second I change over to mayo. I didn't want to get investigated by Mueller.


likes: 3
comments: 1

193,388 When I was little, I'd say about 10 years old, my father was redecorating the first  floor bathroom. There was another bathroom on the second floor so in theory we had a place to go. I came home from school one afternoon and had to go really badly. The first floor wasn't an option and someone was in the second floor bathroom. Arrrrr! My 10 year old brain figured out a solution.... Luckily my dad had left a new toilet on the porch while he was ripping out the old toilet. So.....

A few hours later when he went to move the new toilet into place, he discovered a surprise inside. He was so mad. He grilled everyone in the house to see who did it. He never did figure out it was me. To this day I'm kind of ashamed, but I also think it's kind of funny.


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,387 Suggestion #1: Don't marry a woman who doesn't genuinely like oral sex, giving and receiving.

Suggestion #2: Don't get married at all.

It is said that the best blowjobs are given by divorced women looking for their next husband.  Three guesses what your wife will be doing after the divorce!!

.


likes: 1
comments: 3

193,386 Her: Honey, can you buy me a new car?
Me: Okay.

Her: Honey, can you take me away to a Caribbean resort?
Me: Okay.

Her: Honey, can I join this new tennis club?
Me: Okay.

*********************

Me: Honey, can I cum in your mouth?
Her: Gross. No!


likes: 0
comments: 3
flagged

193,385 I try to always be nice to people. But lordy, it's getting harder and harder. I think people are meaner than they were 10 years ago.


likes: 2
comments: 0

193,384 Lindsey Vonn gets the bronze medal and cries. What ever happened to the idea of congratulating the winner? What happened to good sportsmanship? No, Lindsey only feels sorry for herself. It reflects badly on America.


likes: 2
comments: 7

193,383 I see students across the country organizing protests and walking out of school. I don't mean to be insensitive, but let's be real, most of them are using this opportunity to skip out of class.


likes: 7
comments: 1

193,382 I drive my trash to the dump every week, instead of having the garbage men pick it up,  because it saves me $3. This is how desperate I am for cash.


likes: 1
comments: 2

193,381 If everyone on the motorway is going at 70mph and you are doggedly sticking to the speed limit of 55, then you are a road danger.  Why can't people see that?  Maybe they should have driving lessons for everyone before they take to the streets.  Riding with traffic is not speeding, but impeding traffic because of your own anal-retentiveness is just plain dangerous.  People who do not drive with traffic cause accidents; sometimes people die in accidents.  

AND GET OFF THAT EFFING PHONE!!!


likes: 2
comments: 9

193,379 When I'm doing laundry I check my husband's boxers to see if there are poop stains. If so I wash them with the dog towels.


likes: 2
comments: 6

193,378 I'm very troubled by the idea that my daughter will grow up and one day have sex. I wish she could stay small and innocent forever.


likes: 2
comments: 1

193,377 This sounds kind of crazy and I'll be the first to say it is kind of crazy. But I'm not so sure we understand everything about the universe and science.

When I was a kid growing up in New Jersey, I was about 12, and I was having dinner one night with my Mom. I don't think my Dad was home from work yet. Our kitchen table was in this little glass alcove that stuck off the back of the house. There was a big thunderstorm going on outside and we could see it all. Dark clouds were swirling about and there were plenty of lightning flashes.

All of a sudden, BAM. Lightning flashed just outside the kitchen window. The flash and the sound were simultaneous, telling me the lightning hit just feet away from us.  We were inside and the lightning was outside, so we were safe. But it was scary to be so close.

After a minute, we turned our attention back to our dinner, but it was the weirdest thing. Our forks were gone. We had been eating macaroni and cheese.  We had already eaten some of the meal, so obviously we had forks at some point. But after the lightning flash they had disappeared. It was the strangest thing. Neither of us had gotten up from the table. No one else had come into the room and removed the forks. But they were gone. Never to be seen again.

To this day I have no explanation as to what happened. But I do think there is more to the universe than we realize.


likes: 5
comments: 2

193,376 374 Please dont end your life. Trust when I tell you I have been there so many times, and so many times I am thankful that I did not. Bullshit clouds our judgement and makes it seem like there is no other way..but there is. So much hate and heartbreak in this world already..your children fucking NEED you.


likes: 2
comments: 0

193,375 I have this friend that I visit from time to time - really, she always comes to see me since she lives in another part of the state.   We were lovers for a brief period, but that just didn’t work out like we’d hoped, yet we’ve maintained a close bond.    Soul twins is how she refers to our connection. I believe this to be valid.

She’s a few years older than me and for a woman in her mid fifties, she’s absolutely stunning.  Most people guess her age somewhere in her 40’s.
Since we’ve been together and done as an intimate couple , she’s had a few lovers.   I just have the one now to whom I’m obsequious , at least in most aspects of life. This one that I’m now with, is the “one”, unlike others whom I thought staked that claim.   Yet, my friend fulfills another part of my life that even my lover cannot touch.
It’s unconventional, at best.  Few, save for the most progressive minded would understand such a relationship.  Not even the one I love can fully comprehend the kind of friendship I have with this beautiful person. There’s this connection that is ethereal in its quality, deep in understanding and thoroughly complex. At times, she’s a right pain in my ass.  And I love her with a love that is unique to her and nobody else, just as I know love for my sweetheart.  For my children et al.

At random intervals, she drops in for lunch, tea and conversation.  We discuss philosophy, psychology and many other topics that I rarely discuss elsewhere.  There’s even a level of candor that surpasses any and all I’ve ever known before and even though she thinks she offends me at times, that’s never really happened.  

I happened to be at my house, where I spend a few nights a month and am reluctant to give it up just yet,(even lovers need to spend time apart) so she dropped in for breakfast so we could visit and discuss her latest adventures in world travel.  Then, she asked me to massage her shoulder.  I told her to sit in front of me.  I start rubbing, then she takes her shirt off.  Eventually, I tell her that she might as well remove her bra.  She does.  

Obviously, sitting on the couch and giving a shoulder massage gets uncomfortable, so I suggest we go to my bed where she can lay out flat.  She’s wearing nothing but her panties, face down on my bed and I continue to massage just about every inch of her body.   It was fantastic to share this time with her.  I rub her back, her neck , shoulders, ass and legs.  Then I have her lie on her back so I can caress her front as well.  

We’re talking the whole time and while this is going on, there’s no weird sexual tension or otherwise. Eventually, she offers to massage me. So I lie face down on my bed, nude and she returns the favor.  Back and front.  Even though I’m trying to not focus on the sensuality of it all, I can’t help it.  My body responds, as would anybody’s.

Finally, we’re both done with the massages and we crawl under the covers in my bed. Just talking and nestling together as comfortable as can be.  I turned to her and remarked how this might look like something other than what it was.  Two adults, naked in bed together. Just friends who happen to be closer than most.  
Mind you, I’ve not had sex with her in over 8 months, and now I’m wishing I’d not ( at least only briefly) promised myself to another.  I tell my friend how I’d love to make love to her, yet I can’t. It would break the trust that my lover and I have. She tells me that was a sweet thing to say and smiles.  

As we’re lying in bed together, talking, she gets a phone call from some guy that she’s planning to see later that day and into the evening. After they finish talking, I asked her if she was planning to sleep with him after their date.  She responded by saying she wasn’t sure.  But I could sense there was a possibility of it.  

I then offered to “trim up the jungle” for her if she might be getting naked later that evening. So I go to the bathroom, grab a towel and my clippers and go to town on her thick Irish bush.  I turned it into a real work of art.  Here’s my friend, naked on my bed , legs spread wide open and me, gingerly trimming hairs from her pussy.   Really, it was quite a delight to have the honor.  I could also tell that it was really turning her on , as it was doing the same for me.  All the while, I asked her, “what are friends for??”  

After I was done, I cleaned her up and told her she’d best be gone before I gave in to my urges and did something I’d later regret.  She got dressed and we hugged goodbye.  She then asked me to kiss her.  So we kissed passionately for a few minutes and then she left.

I know it’s kind of a long story, but I just felt the need to share on the Cave.
My secret: no I didn’t tell my girlfriend and yes it’s deceptive to keep a secret like this, but a little part of me relishes having a friend like this.  So long as it doesn’t go any further.  Please, gentle reader , flame on!




likes: 3
comments: 7
flagged

193,374 I have 2 kids, a cat, and im going to kill myself tonight.


likes: 0
comments: 7

193,373 Wish I had cake right about now.


likes: 3
comments: 0

193,372 My father is a bioplar pedophile. My mother, a narcissist who doesn't give a shit. My father berates me over my looks and weight. My mother tries so hard to live through me. I wish I could just move out.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,371 Reasons I've decided to break up with you:

-you got wasted this weekend after I warned you not to and ended up trying to fight me, punched me in the face and pulled my hair, broke my favorite tweezers, and pissed in my bed. On my grandmothers quilt.
-you flirt with the guy you know I like
-you lie all the time
-you have embarrassed me in public too many times
-you often put me down to make yourself feel better
-you're low class and it;s rubbing off on me
-you're seriously immature and it's rubbing off on me
-you're a terrible alcoholic and it's rubbing off on me
-you're selfish and use me for money
-you have roaches in your house and you don't feed your cats and only eat hot cheetos and 4lokos.


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,370 I've had a nightmare where I took my shotgun and blasted myself with it. Scared the shit out of me. Couldn't fall asleep.
In this dream It took a turn for the worst. I was driving in this rural area. A friend needed a lift home. I had my father's collection of guns in my trunk.
I shot my friend then went home shot my parents and finally took the last shot to myself.


likes: 1
comments: 2

193,369 I totally believe in alternate realities. When something bugs you on a deep level, to the point where you can't get it out of your system? It's because it worked out in an alternate reality, and you feel the pain of knowing an alternate self is living out that reality right now.

I totally believe there's an alternate universe where one of my exes and I ended up together. We would have lived in Chicago and later Brooklyn. I would have always felt like he didn't love me enough, because he never would have, and he'd always have put the feelings back on me. I never reached my professional potential in that plane of existence, though. He would have stiffled me.

There's an alternate reality where I never left California. I went to a small-time private college and stayed close to my family. I probably had children young and married a laid-back California guy, and always wondered what it in my life that was missing.

And then there's the alternate reality where I got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up in jail. I hate to even think what that reality would be like.

I'm sure this isn't the most perfect reality I'm living in, but I think it's a pretty good one. I chose wisely, I guess.


likes: 2
comments: 0

193,368 I have gender dysphoria or some hormonal rage. I guess it's more so a general sadness. I have several bi issues.
I'm bipolar, bisexual, bicurious and bilateral in my personality and perspectives. I tend to have extreme anxiety when I see my friend I'm in love with. She's bald, fat and really needy. I freeze up when I want to tell her how nice her head looks when bald. I love that about her. I'm stuck in between my anxious thoughts and begin to punch my head when ever I have to choose between  Michael or Michelle.  


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,367 "I would rather die than live like this. I would rather die. I will kill myself before I do this another fucking week. Stop or die. This isn't living."
What I have to remind myself when I think "I kinda miss it."


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,365 A recent study shows the state with the higher suicide rate  is..... Wyoming.

What? Wyoming is beautiful. You never hear about bad news in Wyoming. Why are people there so sad? This makes me sad.  People of Wyoming, please stop killing yourselves. You are lucky to live there!


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,364 The Russian curling team was caught in a doping scandal?  For real? Why the hell would a curling team have to take performance enhancing drugs? It's not even an athletic event. They're all a bunch of fat people.


likes: 0
comments: 2

193,363 Chiropractors are fake doctors. Save your money and do a few sit ups on your own everyday.


likes: 3
comments: 1

193,362 Who needs porn? You want to see bare girly boobs and gay guys tonguing each other?  Just watch the Olympics.


likes: 0
comments: 3
flagged

193,361 So many angry people in this world. I never understand why. I look around my town. Everyone has a few cars and a nice house. We have pleasant restaurants and good schools. There's the public pools (yes plural) and the movie theater and the golf course and everything. Yet people are so on edge. If I only drive the speed limit, they pull up behind me and angrily beep their horn. We have it so good yet everyone is so unhappy.


likes: 3
comments: 1

193,360 The Baby Boomers are known to be an industrious post war generation. They basically built our modern society.

Next came Generation X. They served a good purpose. They introduced excitement. They gave us something to do on the weekends. Maybe we all don't go out skydiving, but because of the Gen X influence, I think people run and eat healthier and have a fun attitude. Thank you Gen X.

Then came Millennials. The secret is out. They are lazy and self centered. They are a lost cause mucking up the good deeds of the prior generations. I want to get mad at them, but they are just dumb. It would be like getting mad at a person with Downs Syndrome.

But something new is emerging here.  The next generation is appearing. Today's current high schoolers. They paint swastikas in the bathroom stalls. They call each other nigger. They lure classmates into the woods and stab them to death because they saw it in a movie. The bring guns to school and kill innocent people, just because. They fuck their teacher and then rat on the teacher. They are kids addicted to opioids. They are football players raping cheerleaders. They are nothing more than terrorists in J. Crew clothing.  I call them Generation Hate. They are the most vile barbaric hateful generation our country has ever known.

They will be the ones to end the world.


likes: 10
comments: 11
flagged

193,359 Some people don't know how to have a conversation. They only know how to argue.


likes: 1
comments: 8

193,357 I apologize to bugs before I kill them


likes: 8
comments: 0

193,356 I have to laugh at one of my close friends. Her new picture on Facebook is her and her husband on a ski slope. It shows them from chest up. He's in the center of the picture facing forward. She's to his side, hugging him, looking like the dutiful wife. Her head is about 3 inches below his. They are both smiling. Oh the happy perfect couple!

The thing is, in real life she's 5' 8" and he's 5' 5". He's shorter than she is! But she must have made him stand on something so it looks like he's the typical tall husband.

People are so worried about appearances!


likes: 4
comments: 4
flagged

193,355 Women have evolved in the last 10 years. They have adapted to the internet. When a man respectfully disagrees with a woman online, like in a facebook forum, the woman can't let it go. She can't have someone disagreeing with her. So she needles the guy. She makes digs. The guy wasn't being mean. He wasn't taunting her. He just gave a different opinion than hers. But the woman goes on the attack.

And finally, when the man has endured her insults for long enough, and says something in return, like "Please stop. We are trying to have an adult conversation here, " well out comes the sisterhood. The friends of the aggrieved woman come to her aid. How dare a man say anything! They go on the attack, talking about about the man's looks, the small size of his dick. They call him a peeping tom and a pervert. "I heard he beats his wife." "His poor children."All because he was asking her to stop with the insults.

Women, you are assholes. You are the bullies of the modern world. You want to appear like innocent little soccer moms, but you're really fucking classless animals. Ever wonder why there isn't equality? Why women don't make it in the world of business? Because you suck as people. No one wants to work with you.

Everyone knows I speak the truth on this. You can pretend I'm a misogynist for saying all this. But deep down, women are cunts and you know it.


likes: 5
comments: 4
flagged

193,354 "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

I'm pretty sure this is what you just said to me, only using different words.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,353 Now the  media is criticizing the President for not crying and going into mourning for weeks because of the school shooting in Florida.Get it through your head he is not Oprah -He is the President  of the USA -He showed his respect and went to visit the victims in hospital.What more do they want? He is not a fake politician that can turn on the tears as needed.He has other things to do.So he played golf on Monday -I have news for you 0he also ate breakfast and brushed his teeth Life goes on,,,,



likes: 6
comments: 8
flagged

193,352 Aside from the rare extremist, no one is suggesting taking away anyone's guns. Most people just, you know, don't advocate for adding more guns as a solution to the problem.
Also how many "bad guys" have committed a mass shooting with an illegally obtained weapon? None of the recent shootings, that's for sure.


likes: 1
comments: 4

193,351 I know I am just a distraction from the disaster of his life, I know this is really going to hurt at some point and yet I’m doing it anyway.


likes: 3
comments: 0

193,350 A pitiful secret about myself. My husband brought me a piece of exquisite cake from a party at his office. It had chocolate mouse filling. Need I say more...

I savored the idea of eating it for hours. I waited until my husband went to bed so I could enjoy every bite without distraction.

Cake in one hand, glass of milk in the other, I headed to the living room where I could sit in my favorite comfy chair.

But I wasn't paying attention. I bumped into the door frame. The cake lept off the plate and landed on the rug.

Nooooooooooooo...........

What had I done? It had chocolate mouse filling! God hates me!

Then I remembered the five second rule. I quickly grabbed at the cake and put it back on the plate. The mouse filling was still sticking to the rug. I scooped it up as best I could with my fingers. The rug was a gooey mess. I didn't care. I got most of the cake. That's what's important.

I quickly started shoving it in my mouth. It only took me a few seconds to realize the problem. There was now hair on the cake. Human hair. Dog hair. Cat hair. I don't know exactly what it was but my mouth was full of chocolate mouse filling and hair.

A normal person would have spit it all out immediately. But I didn't. I munched down on the sweet creaminess while trying to ignore the sensation of hair in my mouth.  

I swallowed not only the cake, but the hair and my dignity.

Yep, I'm pitiful. But the cake was pretty damned good.


likes: 6
comments: 1
flagged

193,349 I'm considering hiring a private detective to look into my sons biological father. I'd like to know his older son's names.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,348 My periods were always horrible, from the very start. Crushing cramps that extended down the insides of my legs to the soles of my feet. Blood clots as big as my thumb. Having to wear diapers because no pad or tampon would hold the flow.

Finally I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I was in my mid-thirties so I opted for a hysterectomy. I've never been sorry I did it. I only wish I could've gotten it at age 14.

But you want to know the funny thing? Twenty years later, I still sometimes dream I'm having my period. In my dream I'll be shouting, "This is crazy! This can't be happening! I had a hysterectomy!", and someone nearby will say, "Yes, but sometimes it happens that you get your period even so."

Yeah, having my period is still my worst nightmare!


likes: 3
comments: 4

193,347 346, just wait until you hit mid 30’s if you think it’s bad now.  The only thing that even made a dent in the cramps I had was Tramadol.  .  That will make the rest bearable.  Talk to your doc...do not suffer like you are.



likes: 1
comments: 0

193,346 Holy shit. I’ve been off the pill for two months and my periods are SO BAD. I’ve been on the pill for a decade, so maybe it’s partly the hormones working their way out. But, Jesus. I’ve never had cramps like this. Never been sore like this. Never bled like this. They last so long and they hurt so bad.

On the plus side, my sex drive is now that of a teenage boy. So I’ve got that going for me.  - F28


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,345 I think I'm missing out on all the modern day issues.

- I've never touched a gun. I've never even seen a gun in real life.

- I've never taken drugs. I've never even seen drugs in real life.

- I've never gotten drunk, although I have seen alcohol. I've never driven drunk though.

- I've never cheated on my wife. I've never cheated on my taxes. I never curse. I've never stolen anything. The few times I've found a wallet I returned it with money intact. I've never been to Vegas or to any casino for that matter. Even when I'm at a fast food place and they give you a cup and you can fill up your own beverage, I never sneak back for a second filling.

My God, after writing this I feel like the most boring man alive.


likes: 2
comments: 7
flagged

193,344 Ok, here we go, what a show, another wardrobe “malfunction” - this time the Olympic French pairs skating / ice dancing/ ice porn / whatever.  

I had to watch the reply about 4 times before I spotted a lone nipple and  *gosh* some boroadcasters have pixelated the footage.   I thought it was part of the act, honestly.   Nobody would be talking about the performance otherwise.


likes: 2
comments: 3

193,343 I’m 24, and I’m already tired of life. I’m mostly just bored. I’ve traveled to a few cool places internationally, and domestically. I married. I don’t have children, and I don’t want them.

Not even weed makes me happy anymore. I’m just bored.

I might clock out early, on my own terms. Just haven’t figured or decided when.
Sigh.


likes: 2
comments: 3

193,342 If she's clean and disease free, I'd happily kiss a hooker. Tongues and all. Making out like teenagers, and giving her lips a rosy tint from my whiskers.

I miss it so much I'd totally make out with a prostitute as long as she's clean. Who else is going to do it? My wife won't, and it's not exactly something I can ask one of her friends to do. Sure, I'll request a haircut, to borrow their car, or give them the keys to my house while I'm out for a weekend, but a kiss? HA!

Such a simple thing, yet so complex. A few hundred bucks to shove my cock up her asshole, or to sit on the couch and touch lips, all for the same price. Weird. Even weirder is that I'll pay hard-earned cash for either, or both.


likes: 1
comments: 5

193,341 For the last week, I've been secretly watching porn while my wife is five feet away. I can't not watch it lately, and it's always about blowjobs. I miss them so much!

My wife hates doing it, and I don't think my dick has been inside of a mouth in a decade. I'm watching two girls with one guy, and two guys with one girl, and I don't even care right now what the numbers are, I just need to see a hard cock inside of her mouth.

I think as soon as we file taxes, I'm going to have to spend a few hundred on a "car repair" lol. All cash. I insist on getting a blowjob. I've fantasized so much about seeing a woman's face in my crotch, that I must make this dream come true. My wife won't do it, she refuses. I must have it. I don't care what it costs.


likes: 2
comments: 3
flagged

193,340 I caught an elected official who is supposed to be impartial, calling Trump a troll.

I posted it for all to see, pointing out how biased she is

The official contacted me. She said I wasn't being fair, that I took her comments out of context.

Excuse me, but what? Like gimme a situation where you call Trump a troll, but you know, in a a good way...


likes: 1
comments: 9
flagged

193,339 I switched to a male therapist because I couldn't stop having sexual fantasies about my female one. That aside, she was a much better therapist for me.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,338 Sexual exploitation is very bad. It's evil. The people doing it should be executed by a horde of rats.

Besides that, I'm so confused about why cops make such a big deal out of arresting hookers and their clients. Come on, the dude just wants to get off, and she needs to make rent, so they should be jailed right?

Our nation's priorities are jacked up


likes: 1
comments: 3

193,337 My wife confronted a guy in a parking lot once. He was being a dick. It had to do with him taking someone else's parking space.  My wife went right up to his face and called him out on it. The guy said something rude.

Rather than me punching the guy, I pulled my wife away. I avoided the confrontation.

To this day I'm not sure it was the right thing for me to do. Part of me feels like I should have stood up for her. I should have fought the guy or something. But I didn't. I ran away and dragged my wife with me. I came across as a coward.

Another kicker, my kids were with me. They saw their daddy be a wimp.


likes: 0
comments: 8
flagged

193,336 I do amazing things for others. I painted a woman's garage. She tried to pay me. I desperately needed the money, but I told her no. I can't take money from people. I don't know what it is. I'm too shy or I don't want them to think badly of me. Or I don't want them to think I need the money. So I always turn it down. I know, I know, I'm an idiot. I'd be a terrible salesman. I'd give products away at no cost.


likes: 2
comments: 6

193,335 What? Two American male skiers were kissing at the Olympics? This was shown in prime time coverage? And you wonder why nobody is interested in watching this year?

Yo NBC, my kids were watching. It's not up to you to push that kind of thing onto my children. Go mess up your own children.


likes: 3
comments: 10

193,334 I can't believe how many fucking people believe more guns are the answer.


likes: 1
comments: 7
flagged

193,333 Just about everyday, I think of you Eric.  I'm so sad I got that call from your Mom in 1998 that you ended it. I laughed all the time.
Today's Memory is that I see it is Seal's 55th Bday.
I rememeber the video for "Crazy", with his hair, and i said, "what does this guy think he's the Black Michael Hutchence??!!"
And you said, "Or, maybe Michael Hutchence is the White Seal!"


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,332 You would not believe me if I told you. Me and the wife make about $400k a year. We do a job that a high school dropout could easily do. Keep looking down your noses, we make more than your doctor by a long shot. Maybe I will write an ebook with our secret in it.


likes: 3
comments: 4
flagged

193,331 I won't specify my job, but you want to know a secret about cheating on your taxes, or any government program?

In order to catch you cheating, the government relies on algorithms that identify outliers.  In order to develop just one of these algorithms, it takes a lot of people a lot of time, often because the laws and regulations surrounding the program are incredibly convoluted.  Each algorithm requires testing, fixing, and updating on an annual basis.  One of the biggest problems is that bureaucracy means that multiple systems exist that don't talk to each other.  If the factors and rules become too complex, the algorithm isn't worth pursuing.  So the people they can confidently identify are usually only those who are cheating so badly that it's super obvious.

Once they ID a person through an algorithm, they do a manual review.  But they don't have the staff available.  In one program I know of, only .025% of all docs are manually reviewed, and even this overloads the staff.  The staff are looking for every excuse they can think of not to waste their time.  They are looking for the person to claim they made a mistake so they close the case and go to the next one.

Time and resources and costs means the government can only identify those people who are really, really obviously cheating.  The government is looking for those cases where they can make back their money very fast, and as cheaply as possible.  They're not going to spend $250,000 in staff time and legal fees to get back $2,000.  But they will spend $1 in postage to automatically send you a letter, and $100 in staff time for a staffer to confirm that you sent in receipts so they can close the case and go to the next one.

So you know what the government tries to do?  They make every effort to make it seem like they know everything you're doing, and that every mistake will be found and pursued.  They push every interview and article with the media that they can to get the word out on fraud.  They rely on the same "security theater" that the TSA does at airports, and that has never caught a terrorist.  And it is very, very effective.

Years ago before I got into this job, I made two honest mistakes, one on my taxes and one for unemployment.  

With the taxes, I rented out a house and somehow made the house worth 10 times what I paid for it.  I made the mistake two years in a row because I used a computer program that stored my info from the previous year.  I got back $10k more than I should have.  I never got so much as a letter from the IRS.

With the unemployment one, I had been unemployed for so long that by the time I got a job, I had stopped reading the check boxes for my online claims.  I made 2 claims for $800 that I shouldn't have.  Two weeks later, I got a letter, had a 30-minute phone interview with an investigator, and had to speak with the supervisor for another 30 minutes.  Dropped immediately after that and paid back the $800 when the repayment letter came.

I "got away" with $10k because the tax laws are so massive and convoluted that nobody had the time to look at rental depreciation.  $800 got caught immediately because the state could check whether a claim date was entered after the date entered by the employer that said I was back to work.

If they catch you, they'll catch you very fast.


likes: 2
comments: 1
flagged

193,330 In 20 years of marriage I've had about 50 women get me off with handjobs and blowjobs.  I've had naked oral sex experiences with some of them, too.  I finally fucked one.  I don't know why I felt like I cheated on my wife this time.  The truth is, I cheated on my wife the first time I did it at the beginning of the marriage.  But there's something about sticking my dick in that makes me think "oh no I cheated and I'm bad!!"


likes: 1
comments: 4
flagged

193,329 I'm a 40 something suburban lady who drives a sensible car.  Back in college and into my 20s I would occasionally enjoy mdma. I was into the rave scene then.  I really miss dancing late into the night feeling so free but I guess if I went to one they would just see an old lady.

Mostly I wish I knew how to score mdma again I have no idea where to find it. Would be nice to enjoy with my husband.  

It seems like you hit a certain age and you're just not allowed to do things anymore. I miss the freedom the joy the brightness of my youth. It's like you hit a certain age and you're just supposed to be dull or follow your kids around everywhere.

Anyone hook me up?


likes: 5
comments: 4
flagged

193,328 I was eating at a sidewalk cafe with a few friends. A brand new white pickup truck pulled up and parked at the fire hydrant in front of us. This bald guy - the intentionally-shaved-his-head-so-he-looks-tough kind of bald guy - hopped out and went into the restaurant. He left the truck running.  It was diesel. Within a minute all the people eating outside were gagging from the fumes. Some got up from their tables to get away from the exhaust. Children were crying. Another table was asking for the restaurant manager. A woman from one table was smart, she walked over to the truck and said to all of us, "Why don't we turn off the engine." Everyone in unison shouted "Yes!"

Just then the bald guy reappeared carrying a bag of take-out food. He saw the woman reaching for the door of his truck. He yelled at her. "What the hell are you doing?"

She calmly explained that by leaving the engine on, he was ruining the meals of the dozens of people sitting here.

He said, "Don't touch my truck or you'll fucking regret it."

A man from her table popped out of his seat. He said, "Hey, calm down there. She's just trying to be helpful."

Mr Baldy intentionally bumped into the guy. It looked like he was going to push the woman too.

Now the secret. I was about 10 feet away. I had my hand in my jacket. I was a split second away from pulling my glock out of the holster and shooting the bald guy in the head. But he stopped short of touching the woman. He hopped back in his truck and pulled out at full speed.

The guy doesn't know how close he came to dying.


likes: 9
comments: 3
flagged

193,327 My husband FINALLY told his mother to fuck off. I’ve been waiting almost ten years for this and it was EPIC. She’s been an absolute nightmare for the last three years and he finally had enough. He called her out for everything- her shitty attitude, her sniping at his saint of a father, her behavior in public, the way she treats wait staff.., everything. We had the first pleasant dinner together as a group since back when we were first dating. You get her, babe! So proud of you, even if I can’t say it out loud.


likes: 6
comments: 2

193,326 Ten more minutes... Ten! I can't fucking wait ten more minutes, I need it now!

She's going off with friends to dinner, and she's dragging it out, making me wait, and it's almost like she knows it's driving me crazy!

Ten minutes to go. In ten minutes and four seconds, I'm going to be sitting naked in the living room. I have the bottle of olive oil, the bottle of amazing Tennessee whiskey, and a bottle of lotion behind the couch. As soon as I see those tail lights, I'm getting a dose of each one, and porn is gonna be played through the projector, and I'm gonna get titties and pussy nine feet tall staring at me.

Yeah, she doesn't ever want to have sex, so I make dates with my hand. Don't like it? I don't care. But holy shit, I'm already buzzed, and tonight is gonna be a 4-hour sexathon with my fist and my internet. Yay marriage. It's OK though, my wife won't miss a thing. She can have plate-full of shrimp and special sauce, she doesn't like the version she has at home.


likes: 1
comments: 3

193,325 My ex-boyfriend only ever hits me up if he wants to get off. It hurts but most of the time I just go along with it because I can't bring myself to tell him that. I'm afraid then he'll stop talking to me all together. I still love him. It kills me. So much for remaining friends.
Ps. We're long distance so its basically just sexting.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,324 I remember seeing that Russian post on social media. Before the election I was thinking about voting for Hillary Clinton. I turned to the internet for advice. There was nothing. The entire year before the election there was nothing, not a single post about Hillary or Trump. Remember that time period, the internet was totally blank on this topic.

Then this one post showed up saying negative things about Hillary. It completely changed my view and I voted for Trump. I had no idea the one and only post on the entire internet was from the Russians.

Maybe if there had been more posts talking about the election, maybe they could have influenced me too, but no, there was nothing else, only one post for the entire election cycle........


likes: 2
comments: 8
flagged

193,323 I used to cook. I used to be halfway decent at it. People used to like what I made. But.... Then my wife lost her job. She was mad at everyone and everything. She picked my cooking as the focus of her anger for several months until I stopped doing it. She would look at the food and laugh, tell me how I was screwing up boxed mac&cheese, how I couldn't boil eggs right, and how my hamburger was seasoned all wrong. She would leave ten minutes before dinner, making sure the kids could see her rolling her eyes and making a gross face at me stirring the food, then come back while we're eating, saying she had McDonalds and wasn't hungry for my slop.

Fast forward five years. I have lost the will to cook for anyone but myself, and then it's only half-assed. I'm also stubborn as a mule, and I've got a good memory of how she treated me, so now when she complains about having to cook meals, saying she wished I would help out, and how I used to cook good things, I'll mentally tell her to fuck off, smiling as I walk away and tell her it's never again going to happen. She gets so mad at me, but I'm stubborn as hell, and I refuse to let her win that fight. She ruined that for herself. I will never help her in the kitchen after the way she treated me.

That's my secret today. She's ruined several things by the hateful way she's acted, but those are stories for another day or three. Maybe this secret can also serve as a lesson to other people. Be careful of how you react to what someone is doing for you or your family. If you're full of nothing but hate and negativity, don't be surprised if you completely kill the will of that person to ever do that thing again.


likes: 1
comments: 5

193,322 I have no interest in my wife. She has lied far to often for me to care about her. Here's a secret. She thinks I'll be there for her til death do us part. No. I'm divorcing her. We are both retired. We have no savings. We both live a meager existence on our Social Security funds. When we split, the funds aren't enough for either of us to get a decent place to live. That's okay by me. I have an offer to live in a caretaker cottage. My wife will have nowhere to go. Not my worry. The judge can't tell me to get a job to support her. I'm too old to work. She's shit out of luck. Hope she enjoys being homeless.


likes: 1
comments: 2
flagged

193,321 Because there's almost never a time when someone isn't home, I was ecstatic to have the house to myself this weekend. I actually got to watch porn with the volume on. Yes, this is what constitutes excitement for me, lol.

The sad part?  Besides a few videos where I could hear a woman cumming (omg, female masturbation compilations are the best), I was really sad to hear the latest trend. It's been probably three years since I've heard a porn. Now? Pshaw. I'll keep the sound off, thanks. Fucking stupid sound tracks over the real sounds. People reading from a script and pretending to get off. They don't even try to make it match the actors/actresses! It's just an overlay (no pun intended). It's pitiful and sad. Even if you're going to make a porn and pretend to have an 'amateur' cast, can't you at least try to make it sound real?

Wow, what a secret... I'm sad about a fake sound reel on top of fake amateur sex. I'm also glad this is muted. I love watching a woman orgasm, and I love to hear it too, but I guess that's going away too.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,320 Wearing orange to raise gun awareness seems like a political ploy. It's a dig at Trump. Way to go people, turn the shooting of innocent kids into an anti-Trump rally. You won't solve anything, but you will insult the president in this new way. Cool. I'll bet the families are pleased you are using their dead kids for political gain.  




likes: 3
comments: 4
flagged

193,319 I have a question. For men and women.

How often do you cry per week? Are there also months where you cry everyday for a week or more?

I'm asking to see whether I'm still normal.


likes: 3
comments: 8

193,318 "Only women, children and animals are loved unconditionally.  A man is loved under the condition that he provide something"
- Chris Rock, Tamborine

First question guy friends have about their buddies new girl?  How is she?  First from a woman's girlfriends?  What does he do? i.e. How much does he make?

Great comedy gives us a great view of the truth.  I have been blown away for a week since watching Rock's new special.


likes: 1
comments: 8

193,317 If I ever lose you, then I will have no one left.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,316 I have a mild interest to see that Black Panther movie. But here is the thing. If I go to that movie am I a racist ?  Or is it that I have to go to the movie to prove I am not ?  Who the fuck knows?

Then if I go what happens if I not like the movie ?  Can i actually say that, or not ?

Too confusing so fuck it, not going.


likes: 2
comments: 8

193,315 Marriage is about love and support, not competition.  I don't compare myself to my husband.  I do the cooking because I know how and do it well, but he doesn't.  We share housework, but if he doesn't feel like it, I do it.  If I don't feel like it, he does it.  We do have our own chores that we seem to do exclusively, like he has never cleaned the cat boxes, but I have never asked him to.  I have more education, but he is currently working full time and going to a very expensive school, which we both pay for, even though I currently make more money.  Who cares??? I'm going t spend the rest of my life living with and loving this man; why would I want to eff it up with pettiness.  My marriage is my foundation; my world!  

It doesn't take magic to make a marriage work; it takes constant work--costant work!  Just like living!


likes: 11
comments: 6

193,314 A post attributed to the Russian hackers:

“The Black Panther group was formed to protect black people from the KKK but it was dismantled by the US Government, yet the KKK still exists today.”

Stop and think about it. This post wouldn’t encourage people to vote for Trump. It would rile black voters and get them to vote for Hillary Clinton.

But at the same time we are told Trump colluded with these Russian hackers to get votes for himself. How do you explain it Democrats? The Russian hackers were getting votes for Hillary and this somehow proves Trump was in bed with them?

It makes no sense you fucking morons. At least put in the effort to create fake news that’s semi-believable. Idiots.



likes: 2
comments: 5
flagged

193,313 I'm desperately searching for something good that I am good at.. I'm worried there isn't anything.


likes: 2
comments: 1

193,312 There are only about 10 colleges worth attending in the entire country, if you can't get in there, DO NOT GO. Don't settle for some dink ass school that will take your money and then have you read the same book you read in high school. Like for real, you want to pay THEM for that "learning experience." Don't fall for that crap.

Who am I to say so? I actually went to one of those 10 colleges. I then rose the ranks to run a company many of you know. I've personally hired, I don't know, 1000 people. You come in with a resume from SUNY Albany, sorry, but it is not impressive. It's an embarrassment. However, if you come in saying you skipped college and started mowing lawns, and built it up to 50 clients, you are hired.


likes: 2
comments: 14
flagged

193,311 My wife enjoys being unhappy. She looks for things to make herself unhappy. Then she can blame me. What a twisted psyche. Marriage changes women, and not for the better.


likes: 1
comments: 8

193,310 A friend once told me that before you allow yourself to have a drink or three, that you should do something to deserve it. I liked that advice. I try to follow it now.

This past week, it was the work-week from hell. My kids are mad at me, my spouse is bitchy, and my body hurts. I think I've deserved it. I had a drink. Or maybe nine. Whatever.

It's 4pm, and I've been drunk and stoned since 8am because I got to sleep in. I haven't had sex in 2 months, and that time was because of a 4am shoplifting freebie before the bed-mate could stop me in their sleep. I've gotten myself off three times today, and hoping for a 4th soon. I'm in the middle of a smooth ride, and I don't want my 3-day weekend to end.


likes: 2
comments: 3

193,309 The Mueller report details the typo which proves Russian trolls were writing posts here in America.

Here it is. Someone posted the following to social media:

"So, let me get this right...."

The claim is that it was posted by a Russain because a US citizen would have written:

"So let me get this right..."

See the difference? No comma.

This is the evidence being put forward by the special investigation. A comma proves Russian agents have influenced our elections and Trump should therefore be impeached.

A comma...

I kid you not. Google it yourself.


likes: 1
comments: 2
flagged

193,308 THERE ARE NO RUSSIAN HACKERS!

OMG some people are nut jobs. I think Mueller has lost it.

When the Russian thing falls apart, these same people will say aliens are influencing our minds.

Hillary lost the election because she's not a likeable person. The end. Stop trying to blame it on everyone else.


likes: 5
comments: 1
flagged

193,307 My puppy f scratched me with his sharp nail. I wanted to punch him but I couldn't. He's "just like a little kid" so instead I had my little sister push him aside. My skin was split open and bleeding like my bleeding heart. ;)


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,306 "When Moses made the Red Sea part..."

I think this is a reference to taking a woman's virginity.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,305 If ever I hear anyone doing something better or seem more superior then me.
I will tend to copy or compete. Trying my best to get others to root for me in order to help stroke my ego.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,304 The only thing I’ve done all day is dance with myself.
I mean that in the Billy Idol sense.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,303 My husband just asked me to quit my job and stay home full time. We don’t have children. We don’t even have pets. He makes 4x my income and hates that my job requires me to work weekends, that it takes over my life, that I care about it as much as I do. He’s not wrong about that. I’m one of those crazy people who legitimately loves what they do. Loves it a stupid amount. Can’t get enough of it. This job is hard, and frustrating, and it doesn’t pay near enough, but I’m damn good at it and damn proud of what I do.

And he wants me to just give it up. Just like that. So I can take care of our family of two people, get stuff handled for him, manage our house and all that. It creates this strong, visceral reaction in me. I want my job. I want to earn my keep. I love what I do. But he’s right. What’s the point in me working these long hours for hardly any pay? Our house is a mess, he’s stressed out, we never hang out anymore... maybe I should just take the path of least resistance and quit. But I can’t help feel like, if he loved me, he’d be sharing the load. He’d be helping me out. He’s home alone today, and he’s getting drunk, playing games, whining about what a mess our house is. Fucking... clean it up.

I’m so upset and angry. I don’t even know what to do. I’m hundreds of miles away from my family and I’m ten years into this relationship. We used to be so happy.


likes: 13
comments: 10

193,302 I need a rack for all the hats and masks I wear.


likes: 2
comments: 0

193,301 My husband never went to college, only trade school. He learned a trade and has made a decent living doing that trade. I went to 4 years of college to get a bachelors degee in nursing. He makes more than I do.

Yesterday he got a $10,000 bonus for the 11 year on the job  anniversary. He also received a bonus because of the profits the company has recently made. So. In one day, on top of his weekly salary, he made an extra 14k. Meanwhile I have $60 in my checking account waiting on my next payday which is still 5 days away.

Yes I'm jealous of him


likes: 0
comments: 3

193,300 I have low libido.  I can't even cum during sex and keep losing my erection.

29 m


likes: 0
comments: 3
flagged

193,299 My wife got drunk last night and we had sex for the first time in months.  I took full advantage and did it all last night, even the things she will do only occasionally.  I figured what the hell, she consented and it had been a long time.
I do feel slightly guilty this am and she is still in bed hungover as hell


likes: 1
comments: 5

193,298 Oh my god, have you seen the evidence used to indict the 13 Russian hackers who interfered with the US elections? It's irrefutable.

These trolls posted on social media and according to the legal indictment, we know the posts were fake because... get this... there were typos!!! That's right. That's how we know the posts were made by foriegners - typos! A dead give-away.  Americans don't make typos. Never. So any time someone typed Hillery instead of Hillary, you're looking at the handiwork of Russian hackers.

What more proof does anyone need! Nothing!


likes: 1
comments: 2
flagged

193,297 Get married, but choose wisley. Esteem what is on the inside instead of the outside. Dont let people who married for looks and had it end badly decieve you. Character counts! Happily married to an awesome and noble woman.


likes: 3
comments: 1

193,295 I came off birth control pills 5 years ago. There was no point in taking them. We had sex once a year. I was suppose to ingest this chemical everyday and possibly put my health at risk for sex once a year?  Not smart.


likes: 0
comments: 2

193,294 Lately when people reach out to me it’s so nice to hear from a friend.  Then they reveal they need something.👎🏻

I’ll take animals over people. Kids over adults.

They are pure. They are upfront. There is no pretense of “how are you,” when they’re about to ask you to do something for them.

I love that show living off the grid. They have the right idea.




likes: 3
comments: 2

193,293 So the malcontent of a wife would do & say anything to achieve a dominancy of a supremacy over me and the 4 kids in the household. She’d petition courts and friends & family with her purported victim status and the bulk of them would comply with applause for her being brave. Claims of ‘abuse’, of the verbal variety, along with her ownly authored fear, she could only win a Protective Order in court (the 3rd time around) as I was never notified of the court date. Right there is 1 full year I was verboten from contacting her or any of our children.

I divorced her, and so to fast forward 2 decades she absconded the kid’s home state with sole custody, raised them as trailer trash, and relied on the benevolence of society to take care of ‘em. Ya know, since everyone is told “everything will be OK”.

On the other hand, I re-married, have beautiful set of B/G teen twins, and to make sure I’m not superfluous baggage, I’m the stay-at-home primary care-giver. Would anyone propose divorce (which this current wife is totally capable of), then by default I’m known as the primary care-giver. Just the common understanding that she would not have any leverage to get these kids, - holds the family together. Heck, she’s the one that wanted to work (like a horse), and so she got to pursue the career all she wanted. I fell back to the supporting role, and these kids adore their dad as I get ‘em on the bus and when they finish school.

This story is a ‘secret’, since there’s no known group in society that would promote a mens’ version of kids’ welfare.


likes: 1
comments: 2

193,292 Get rid of all the Diversity Counselors in schools and replace them with armed cops.  Killings will go way down, guaranteed.


likes: 7
comments: 8
flagged

193,291 I think the incessant political feuds we see online are going to end in murders.


likes: 1
comments: 3

193,290 I'm glad I'm not married.


likes: 4
comments: 6
flagged

193,289 My secret is I grew up with abusive parents. They never have physically abused me. It was all mental abuse.
My mother is a pathological liar, money hungry, materialistic, unsatisfied pretencious woman.
My dad is a narcissistic dramatic cry baby.
Who never lives realistic.  He's loud, mean and abnoxious. The paradox behind this all is, they have created a Madonna wh_ore.

The mixture of them both made a bad seed. I've become both of them now in my thirties. I struggle with friendships and relationships due to this. They wanted me to become their perfect prodigy child. In turn I'm trying to be total opposite of them both.

For some odd reason they don't let me. I struggle with trying to be my own individual, trying not to become anything like them. But I tend to succumb back to their behavior. I'm caught in the web they've created for me and don't know how to get out. I've become this brown reclusive person who will only spend time in my room, libraries or wanting to watch porn.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,288 I think I need to be put into a psychiatric ward. For years
I've been dealing with anxiety/mood disorders with psychotic effects. Antipsychotics, social anxiety with phsychotic dellusions.
Aspergergers, narcissistic, eating disorders, pathological lying. With a debilitating sexual addiction.
I'm now dealing with schizophrenia paranoid that people can read my thoughts. I feel as though nobody wants to love me or become close to me because they can see if not one or all of my conditions. I've become suicidal because of this. My secret is, if I don't land this job.
More than likely I will be ending my life.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,287 Today my boyfriend called his baby momma on break after we had sex in his car.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,286 Cocaine has completely cured my social anxiety.
I'm always wondering if people can tell when I'm high.
Just thinking of that gives me anxiety.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,285 We had a nice evening tonight. We all went out for dinner and then ice cream. The kids were laughing. My wife was cheerful. All the bad blood seemed to vanish. It was good to see everyone so happy. I think it's the perfect time for me to leave them. On an uptick. Hopefully they remember the fun we had on our last night together. Good bye world.


likes: 0
comments: 3
flagged

193,284 You people with your fake political lies, don't you get it. If you're that ugly and mean, the other side will hand it right back to you. Then your life is hell too. Are you all so naive?


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,283 Want to see fake news in action?

New York magazine published an article claiming there's a good chance Trump is being blackmailed. There are no actual facts to back up the claim. Typical of trash journalism these days.

But then the article goes to new lows.  It says,

"Far from being bizarre, imagining Trump paying prostitutes to pee on a bed Obama used as a primitive revenge ritual, and Russians taping the episode, is perfectly consistent with what we know about both parties."

What? That's totally made up. They thought of the most vile thing imaginable and put Trump's name on it. Where on earth did their foul imagination come up with something like that? Total fabrication.

Now what do I see? People on the internet are quoting the disgusting article as fact, while taking it a step further saying Trump peed and defecated on women.

Fake news is born.

I hope the magazine gets sued and anyone quoting it gets sued too.


likes: 1
comments: 2
flagged

193,282 I'm a spinster - a proud, unapologetic spinster.

A very wise man I had the pleasure of working with for 1.5 years told me:   "Do you know why divorce is expensive?  Because it's worth it."

Learn it dudes, know it dudes, live it dudes.  The kids will survive, and you will, too.

Much love.


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,280 Now once again schools will scramble to spend a fortune putting in more security. But tell me this, how does a security camera stop a determined gunman? Do you think he cares you have him on video? Not at all. He probably enjoys seeing himself on the evening news. Video cameras don't stop bullets. Our group response to these incidents is dumb and pointless. If a gunman wants to shoot people, there is nothing you can do to stop him.


likes: 0
comments: 4

193,279 Yep, the DOJ really did just indict 13 Russians who can't be extradited for "attempting to influence the US election."

I guess when you're caught spying on a political opponent, you do things like this.


likes: 0
comments: 1
flagged

193,278 I work outside the home, wife does not.  Every goddamn time I come home, I get hit with three things I need to do or didn't do or screwed up.  What did you take $40 out of the account for?
Jeezus, let me get in the door.

Do I harp on the piles of dirty laundry that I will eventually have to do?  The sink full of dinner and breakfast dishes?  The mess of a couch where you have obviously spent most of your day?  The lack of a plan for dinner that night?  The total lack of sexual activity in our lives?

No, I actively engage you about your day, do the dishes, make dinner(pray you'll clean up), hang with the kids, and retreat to my Man Cave.  There I surf and watch porn in a judgement free zone until 11 and then go to bed while you stay up til 2am on Netflix.

I'm tired of all this


likes: 1
comments: 6

193,277 I went on a job interview this week and they asked who I voted for in the last election. Is that even legal? I didn't want to answer, but what was I supposed to say, none of your beeswax? I wanted the job. So I told them I voted for Hillary. I haven't heard back yet, but I think that's the answer they were looking for. I feel like my rights were violated though.


likes: 0
comments: 4
flagged

193,276 Here's my wife in a nutshell.

We have two kids, both are in high school. They just finished their midterms exams. As a treat I turned to them and asked where they'd like to go for a celebration dinner. They zeroed in on IHOP. They thought it would be fun to have pancakes with whipped cream,  and pigs in a blanket, and  taste all the different types of syrup. LOL good choice! We decided to go to IHOP at 5 tonight.

I mentioned it to my wife. She then took over. She declared we will be going to a new fancy french restaurant recommended by her friend. We won't be going at 5. My wife will be going for a run at 5. She'll be back by 6, but she informs us that civilized people don't go to a restaurant at 6. There would be no other diners there to see us in the fancy restaurant. What's the point of going if no one sees us there?

She then starts barking at the kids about what to wear.

The kids looked at me distressed. They don't want a fancy restaurant. They want to relax. This was supposed to be their treat for doing well on exams. Why does it suddenly feel like a punishment?

Now neither want to go out. They both claim they have school work they should be doing.

And there you gave it This is what my wife does to everything. She makes it all about her and her vanity. She brings everyone else down.

On the plus side, I'm glad my kids are beginning to realize who their mother is.


likes: 3
comments: 7
flagged

193,275 I feel like a big baby. I still need my dad to hold my hand when I go to the dentist. I'll be thirty this year.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,274 My neighbor has quite the gun collection.  He is also slightly crazy and not in the fun way.

I'm going to make sure my kids don't ever step foot in his yard ever, just not worth the risk


likes: 0
comments: 3

193,273 I'm looking for a new husband. I need a man who has enough money to take me away on fabulous trips and buy me wonderful clothes. I'm tired of money always being an issue. My husband makes an okay salary, but not a great salary. I'm pretty. I'm fit. That should get me something better than my current marriage.


likes: 0
comments: 9

193,272 Uh oh, looks like I'm going to be indicted by Mueller. The indictments today were for 13 people who posted online about Trump and Hillary. They sometimes said bad things about the candidates, sometimes said good things. They also donated a small amount of money towards political causes.

This describes me exactly. I've said good things and bad things about the candidates depending on the issue. I've also donated a small amount of money to campaigns.  I'm in big trouble!

I didn't realize that it was illegal to have an opinion in our country. But I guess it is.


likes: 1
comments: 5
flagged

193,271 I was asked by a girl why men are "whores" now, especially with "Social Media".  Are you kidding?
Men , since Caveman days, are "whores", if that's what you want to call it.  Spreading their seed. What would they say if you told them that someday Society would expect them to be with ONE woman for the rest of their lives??!!
They would get a chisel and rock, and carve out the words "No fucking way"


likes: 0
comments: 3

193,270 I like you. I like you a lot. More than I probably should. That scares me. I'm trying very hard to not overthink this, to not overreact, to not get my hopes up that this might actually turn into something worthwhile, to not get jealous and think that you're talking to other girls, to not wreck this by over texting or being overbearing by asking "what are we?". I'm trying to just let whatever this is happen. I like the way you make me feel, i like being around you. I like you. Damn it this isn't fair. I wish you had a normal job so that I knew when I would see you again.


likes: 0
comments: 0
flagged

193,269 The owner of the largest manufacturer of AR-15 semi-automatic "sporting" rifles is a private equity firm called Cerberus Capital Management.

From Wikipedia: "In Greek mythology, Cerberus, often called the "hound of Hades," is the monstrous multi-headed dog that guards the gates of the Underworld to prevent the dead from leaving."

Sounds about right.


likes: 3
flagged

193,268 It's official, I am old.  I had to trim the hair in my ears this morning.....


likes: 4
comments: 6
flagged

193,267 Im in love with you.
So hard.
I'd be such a good wife to you.
Kisses, I dream of you tonight


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,266 “How are you?”
“Where are you living again?”
“How old are you now?”
“Are you married?”
“Are you happy?”

These questions and more are repeated about 50 times every time I visit my grandmother. Alzheimer’s is a bitch, but it’s also a constant reminder of who my grandmother is. All that focus on others, none on herself. She’s one of a kind. I’ll miss her questions when she’s gone.


likes: 5
comments: 1

193,265 A girl is asking me if I'm a whore.
that girl is intrested in me


likes: 2
comments: 0

193,264 Sometimes the hurt is just too much.


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,263 I am a meat eater and I am full of psychological problems with food.  I absolutely struggle with most forms of food restrictions, though I'm doing what I can to control it.

I also care about the environment.

But I really, really, really suck at being a vegetarian/vegan.  The food restriction just fucks me up and I become extremely mean and territorial.

So, in spite of the small number of militant vegans who are fucking obnoxious about it,

I'm actually very grateful for the vegetarians and vegans who can do something that I can't do.  You're helping.  I'm not.

Go you.


likes: 4
comments: 0

193,262 i need someone to do a road trip with me....north texas area heading to South Carolina area....its a long drive and it sucks without some one to talk to.. drive is this coming sunday at 0600...

nice car, might even let you drive, if you cant drive a standard transmission you had better be a damn good conversationalist... you dont have to pay for gas...maybe some snacks along the way, nothing fancy...

cue Jerry Reed's classic  "EAST BOUND AND DOWN"   if you dont know what that is, dont even think about asking to go....there are some things everyone above the age of 30 should know

any takers?






likes: 1
comments: 5

193,261 The DEEP STATE relied on the republican establishment to derail the trump candidacy. One by one their paid prostituted stooges failed. The DEEP STATE then sent the so-called republican leadership (Graham, McCain, McConnel, Ryan et al) to disqualify and de-legitimize the trump nomination. They could not.
So next the Deep State called on the joint efforts of the Republican National Committee and the Democratic Party (including Citizen Obama), with their friends in the Main Stream Media, the Judiciary, the Military, the CIA, the NSA and Corporate America to stop and forestall the Trump ascendancy. They could not. Finally as a last gasp effort, they called on the power of the OFFICE of the President of the United States with the CIA, NSA and FBI to discredit, disturb and ultimately demolish an incoming president. They have failed.

The truth is our government and the instruments of power are in the hands of a cabal (controlled by a very small banking oligarchy) that does not want to relinquish that power because they think it is their GOD given right to tell us how to live, what to spend, what to do and to always shut up.

If you think this is just a democrat versus republican thing, then you need to revisit your history books.

If you think this cabal is going to stop or give up, you really need to revisit your history books.





likes: 4
comments: 4
flagged

193,260 I can tell I am losing weight. When I look down I can see my dick.  Took my by a bit of surprise the other day, but there it was.


likes: 13
comments: 2
flagged

193,259 I know a locally elected official who brings a gun with him wherever he goes. I'm not sure what to make of it.

A- He wants to protect himself and the rest of us in case a mad gunman is on the loose?

B - He is a paranoid whack job?

In spite of recent events, yes I think he's a paranoid whack job.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,258 What did we do before smart phones at red lights?




likes: 0
comments: 4
flagged

193,257 One of my students asks me if I would know how to protect them in case of a school shooter situation. I would know how because I’ve had training, but the fact he felt moved to ask me that wrecked me inside. School is supposed to be a safe place, and now kids have reason to be scared there too. What a world we live in now...


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,256 My son said something to me and my wife about how we're married.  The look on my wife's face was obvious.  I don't think my wife loves me that much anymore.  I don't know how much of it is her fault or my fault, or if it's even anybody's fault, but she just doesn't seem that interested in me.  It's not worth a divorce.  We get along fine, she's just changed, I guess.  Divorce breaks up families and can make people impoverished.  But one thing's clear - this is the one and only time I will ever be married.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,255 The N.R.A should be declared a terrorist organization.


likes: 9
comments: 5
flagged

193,254 TOO many women love the "I can't find a man" approach, so they get attention from all the men.  They are the ones who will not commit, because they love all the men competing for her.
yeah yeah, I'm sure that goes for men, too, but I've noticed a ton of women using this approach, to which I say FUCK OFF.


likes: 1
comments: 2

193,253 My wife isn't interested in me, and while I tried a few times, I couldn't even get  a GF on the side. I guess it is just me after all.

I wish someone fantasizes about me. Even better if she let me know about it. It would make my year.



likes: 0
comments: 2
flagged

193,252 I feel like we're in this situation where we've swallowed poison. The deed is done. There's nothing left to do but lay back and die.

The guns are out there. The crazy people are out there. There's no getting the guns back.  The crazies will keep on shooting until we die.


likes: 1
comments: 2

193,251 I'm amazed!  Not that there was another school shooting ... I expected that.  What amazes me is that there aren't even more.  

It is so simple!  Why can't we see it?  Look at what's going on around all of us ....

First thing in the morning, we turn on the TV to get the nightmarish news that has happened overnight.  Next, we go through our days constantly and relentlessly bombarded with shootings on television and on our devices.  It's inescapable!  From morning to night, we are constantly bombarded with shootings, stabbings and all manner of mayhem.  The television has taught us all; how to lie about everything and to be completely deceptive to everyone, including ourselves.  We don't even know who we are any more.  Television and video games, to which almost everyone seems addicted, are all filled to the brim with demonstrations of anti-social behaviors and we are all being spoon fed to choking on violent images and disaster.  Everywhere you look!  If you go to a movie, there are no storylines anymore; it's all bombs going off, explosions, mass killings and general chaos.  Television teaches daily how to be a whore or whoremonger, how to lie and manipulate parents and others in authority.  Suicides are cheerfully displayed on the internet and often people are encouraged by this media to kill themselves, or someone else.  

Everyone feels sad, lonely and left out.  

And then, from our bought-and-sold, corrupt government, we are told that the answer is more guns.  They say we have a gun problem because there aren't enough of them.  This makes sense?  And to top it all off, deep hatred is being taught by most of our public officials, and people, especially children listen and take this in.  The result is a society out of control with no idea how to right the situation.  

Soo, all the schools will close ... they will have to!  All the students will be home schooled through the computer.  That will result in further collapse of society as people unlearn the art of socializing.  Children already don't play with each other anymore.  My niece and nephew who are grown now, never went outside to play.  They were glued to their devices and are now idiots from whom I keep my distance.  

We are all doomed and drowning in the most putrid cesspool, happily licking our way to the bottom.

God help us!


likes: 2
comments: 1

193,250 ive been lying to myself, im not yellow yet. i used to be blue and i thought i turned into yellow but its too forced. im too sad to be yellow yet. hopefully deleting all of my social media will help me think.
L#1 hurt my heart by saying hes seeing someone else
L#2 hyper analyzed me and now im freakin out because he knows too much just from reading my twitter.
P's previous text was him asking for nudes to which i didnt respond. and then he texts me that his dad has 5 weeks to live(hes got cancer) but its just an excuse.
G. i was his first kiss just TWO days ago. hes 21 and has never done as much as held hands romantically.
i dont know what the fuck im doing
i dont know who the fuck to concentrate on
because L#1 is the only one i want to truly talk to.

AND THE FUNNY THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT IM FUCKING GAY
L#1 was an exception because i fell in love with his soul.
everyone else is just there
just because they came into my life i feel like i have to occupy them

ALL IWANT IS TO BE TRULY GAY BECAUSE THATS WHAT I AM IM NOT A FAKE GAY. ALL THE CIS MALES JUST LIKE ME

idk
i gotta figure this shit out



likes: 0
comments: 0

193,249 Where I live the mayor gave speeches as to why taxes should go up. We need the money for this project or that roadway. It's everyone's civic responsibility to support the town through taxes to make this a better places to live. Yackity yack.

Then after property taxes were raised for all, it was discovered the mayor made a backroom deal with the tax assessor to have his own taxes decreased.

So everyone in town had to pay more in taxes, EXCEPT THE GOD DAMNED MAYOR.

What sliminess. This country is so damned corrupt.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,248 I just got the bill from my wife's gyno appointment. She had an IUD installed. Going to ask her tonight as I got snipped a few years back and to my knowledge she hasn't had any issues with her period.
Hopefully there is an innocent reason but my mind is going to some bad places.


likes: 2
comments: 11
flagged

193,247 If I like a guy and he likes me, I'm very open about my feelings.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  So apparently when you're open about liking a guy they turn around when they're done with the situation and claim you were chasing them.  What???  Being honest about my feelings doesn't mean I was chasing you.  Especially if you liked me too and were doing your part in the situation.  I HATE when guys wanna rewrite history to better serve their agenda.  The same guys that are tired of the metoo shit, I am too.  I'm not even that type of chick.  I'm more old school.  It's like they're trying to turn it around, meanwhile you don't have to do it to me.  This is why women play hard to get, if you let shit be known they think you're easy/chasing them.  I don't hook up, I don't fuck around, I don't cheat.  Fuck it.  They only seem to give girls like that a chance, not the "good girls."  You gotta be a bitch apparently.  A selfish bitch gets what she wants because she's not easy, guys don't get bored.  


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,246 There is a boy in my child's school. The boy is off. There's something terribly wrong. He is angry and withdrawn. If the teacher tries to bring him into the conversation, the boy flips out and breaks things in the classroom. My son says the boy has threatened other students in art class with a pair of scissors. I reported the boy to the administration. I received the typical response saying they can't discuss other students. I'm saving that email so when this boy does start shooting people, I can show the courts that the school was warned and did nothing about it.


likes: 3
comments: 3
flagged

193,245 I wrote #061. Been feeling very low since the doc switched me over to lipitor. I stopped taking it about 10 days ago. I feel so much better. No more bad thoughts.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,244 Life is so frustrating. Nothing can ever be simple! Things may still work out the way i want them, but GD i wish i could get a break sometimes! I can see the lesson in this, but friendly reminder: your past will always catch up to you, especially if you leave ends untied and unchecked


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,243 I don't think my therapist knows what to say to me.


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,242 welcome to america. The land of violence, and our newest trend? School shootings! Oh, actually. You're not welcome. Bye!


likes: 0
comments: 4

193,241 For V Day I got my wife flowers, chocolate, a strawberry shortcake, and chocolate covered strawberries. She got me nothing.

She then stormed around in a pissy mood all evening because I didn't do enough to acknowledge her on this special day.

I'm so tired of her shit. I'm hoping this is my last Valentines Day being married to her. She can pull her shit on some other sucker next year.


likes: 1
comments: 5

193,240 Valentine’s Day, new boyfriend of 2 weeks, he is aged 45.  I will pass couple weeks I’d started to become frustrated with him because when I would send them in to grab something on the store he would look at the selection of items for two seconds and then say nope they don’t have it. He would do this by phone every time and I started to feel he did not care about me
...and then I figured out his secret just now when he shot me a picture of the wine i was looking for it was right there. He cannot read. Do I feel like I can do better? Not at all. I feel like I want to be more patient with him, make him more comfortable and if he wants...maybe privately reach him this skill we all take as a total given. I love him. I know that now...


likes: 0
comments: 2
flagged

193,239 The Olympic coverage seems so flat. There's no spark. There are no heroes. No good stories. I'm thinking the Olympics is a failed idea. It's not worth the effort to do this every few years.


likes: 6
comments: 1

193,238 At my son's middle school, the principal forbids students from doing their homework or anything academic during recess. The students are allowed to play video games on their phones, but no studying will be tolerated.

How dare those smart students want to study! They should be expelled!




likes: 3
comments: 2

193,237 No matter what I do for Valentines Day, my wife finds fault with it.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,235 We just watched Chris Rock's new stand up on Netflix on the night of our 15 year wedding anniversary. Funny thing is, it sounds like Chris Rock got divorced over the same shit killing our marriage.
And I damn well know my husband will play the tambourine for the next woman.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,233 Gods don't exist
Demons don't exist.
The problems we have are between people.
When people can be honest and true with one another then we will have world peace.

Kinda requires that we accept that some people are different than us.


likes: 6
comments: 2
flagged

193,232 i was a pretty shitty wife. he deserved better.


likes: 3
comments: 0

193,231 I'm surprised more people don't grow their own tobacco and roll my own cigarettes. It's easy to grow. It's a giant weed. They would save a fortune. I do.


likes: 0
comments: 3

193,230 Now the democrats are livid because Trump wants to give healthy food to poor people. LOL.


likes: 4
comments: 11
flagged

193,229 My wife told me her birthday usually falls on a Tuesday.

Intelligent conversation is not possible with her.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,228 Most people who have clean houses, like me, pick up after themselves as they go along.  Dishes are placed in the dishwasher after through and the used spaces quickly wiped clean.  Clothes are hung up after use or tossed into a hamper for laundry.  Everything in the home has a home and is placed back in their places after use.  When general cleaning times come, at least once a week, everything else is dusted, floors are vacuumed and washed and the little odds and ends are returned to their homes.  It takes little time because almost nothing has gotten out of order.  Try it for a week and see it quickly become la habit.  


likes: 4
comments: 6

193,226 I once sent a text to an entire group of about 30 people at work, including the senior vice president of the company. They had helped gather up useful info from their departments for a report I was compiling.

The text was supposed to read:

"Thanks for sharing with me."

Instead, due to my fat fingers, I mis-typed it as:

"Thanks for sharting with me."

Ooops.


likes: 7
comments: 1

193,225 I hate how we're expected to say "Thank you for your service" to a member of the military. It's so fake AND no one thanks me for teaching  children all day. But I'm supposed to thank the kids who menaced my class and dropped out of high school because they joined the military. No thanks.


likes: 6
comments: 3

193,224 I wouldn't date me.


likes: 3
comments: 2

193,223 Happy Valentines Day
To everyone even if you are lonely, you still have Yourself, #1


likes: 5
comments: 2

193,222 I consider the question a total irrelevance. When people speak of or ask about taking one's life. It isn't like if you weigh it up and decide that it's suicide or not. It's a delusion that we soldier up on because we consider life worth living or not.  Biology has made it so that we carry on under all but overwhelming pain, so if I were you I would stop getting people to try to pitty you.
Faking and pretending you have suicidal tendencies is a sadistic lie. Sadly spells out attention starved.
Someone who is really serious about suicide. Who have "real" suicidal tendencies will not continually talk about it, mock it etc. They usually just leave one lasting impression that will leave only "one" note, video, last statement or word.  They don't continue on or banter about it. Someone who is serious about something don't go around boasting about it. Everything else aside from that is not a cry out for help. Simple just a cry for some attention. Big difference.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,221 I'm not sure this whole marriage thing is working out for me. 14 years married, 15 together . I'm not your mother/ keeper, I'm your wife! Have some fucking initiative, do things because they need doing, not because I GET MAD AND HAVE TO TELL YOU TO DO IT! Do your fucking part!


likes: 4
comments: 0

193,220 It was a chilly and windy day but I briefly chatted with my neighbor whom I'm having this love affair with. Him and I   went down to the lake to give the ducks some old bread. I swear I've never seen so many ducks and geese down there all at once! But again maybe it was what these acid tabs were presumably doing to my psyche.
Maybe they weren't ducks I was really seeing?


likes: 1
comments: 2
flagged

193,219 I'm a very hateful person. That's why I have no friends and live alone.


likes: 3
comments: 2

193,218 In the past, I spent two months on two different occasions in Brazil to visit with my ex.

My current boyfriend is taking me to Turkey later this year.....and I am so scared. The nostalgic feeling, and the idea that I really am “moving on” from that part of my life (I don’t feel ready yet)..and I’m just so scared I’ll have a panic or anxiety attack once I realize these people aren’t the Brazilians I came to love. These people are strangers. I’m scared of being homesick on the first day. I’m scared of having to hide in the bathroom so I can cry throughout the day..

I know I should be grateful. Traveling is one of the best things in life..
But when you have a broken heart, and you are living each day just trying to survive...it takes a lot to make you truly happy. At this point..I’m. Just. Scared.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,217 For the past 20 years I've been doing volunteer work for a variety of local groups. I organize events. I paint rooms in their space. I wash 30 large table cloths after a banquet. That type of thing. Whatever needed to be done, I do it. I became well known as the goto person for anything and everything.

One of these groups was recently looking to hire their first employee.  The person would be responsible for organizing events, maintaining the space - like painting, cleaning up - like washing 30 table cloths.  It was clear, they wanted to pay someone to do the tasks I've been doing for so long.

I applied for the job. It's about $100 per week. I could use the money.

They turned me down. They hired the daughter of a board member.

What an insult to me.

I'm decided I'm no longer going to volunteer for this group or any group. Too frustrating.


likes: 7
comments: 3

193,216 I have also no interest in having a family of my own.  Contrary to you, 196, my parents were great, they were very good parents, they had their mistakes, but who does not make mistakes.  Most important, they were good parents.  But, now that I think about this marriage thing, I remember as a child, maybe I was 8 - 9 years old, I remember looking at my parents and thinking how two people could stay together?  As I grew older, I realized, I also do not want children.  I love children, I love my  niece, but having a child and raising that child, NOT FOR ME.  Maybe I am lazy, maybe I am indifferent, it's just that having a wife and children, it's something that my brain does not compute very well.  I cannot depend on another person, a wife.  


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,215 As an adult I moved into an area that is heavily Jewish. I did not know much about Judaism and was ambivalent. I met and married a secular but cultural Jew.

By and large most Jewish people are tolerant, introspective, insightful and educated. But when it comes to Israel, the large scale brain washing that has been done from each Temple, to every single holiday having the same theme: we were persecuted then God came to help us. Every single prayer basically supporting the right of the state of Israel. These guys are brainwashed from birth. It is terrifying to watch.

Now, again, I had no dog in this fight. In fact, I was totally confused about Israel and Palestine. So I read up, it took about a week of Wikipedia just to understand the complex history but anyone who is capable of rational thought can see how uniformly horrible the Jewish state has been. It is obvious that Israel would genocide the Palestinians if they could. And they are doing it but more slowly, more sneakily. But since their rhetoric is that only THEY are persecuted it is as if they are incapable of even seeing how they are persecuting others.

If Israel was true and correct why is the propaganda shoved down children's throats from day one? If Israel was true and correct why, if anyone dares to question the atrocities, they are instantly anti semetic?

It it like watching a strange cult. Someone who is rational and kind watch them turn into something strange, something defensive and angry, willingly unable to see what is before their eyes.

I feel so conflicted. How can I be friends to, married to, family to people who have zero problems with the wholescale economic and cultural slaughter of the Palestinians? How can I love people who feel it necessary to destroy a people who's land is rightfully theirs?


likes: 5
comments: 13
flagged

193,214 Everything is great now.

^_^


likes: 2
comments: 1

193,213 212
Let hm go. He’s already gone. Move on to better things.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,212 I've been talking to this guy on and off for awhile. He told me he likes me, seems like he likes me, we had a great conversation the other night, and he ends it with me tonight. Right before Valentine's day. I mean, he's not my man, but that's fucked up.  It's like we get closer then he ends it, and I come back, but this time it seems like it's over. I like him =(


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,211 I wonder if my mother is still alive. I haven't seen nor heard from her in about 30 years.


likes: 0
comments: 3
flagged

193,210 My daughter's boyfriend wants to friend me on Facebook.

Ummm, no.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,209 When I bump into a friend at the pool and she's in a bathing suit, I sneak a glance downwards to see if any pubes are poking out. Sort of weird seeing I'm a straight woman. It amuses me to see if she is well groomed. A surprising number of the moms I know are not so tidy down there.


likes: 1
comments: 7

193,208 I would have sex with my best friend's husband. He'd have to initiate. I can't do it. Hint hint.


likes: 0
comments: 7
flagged

193,207 *#* My wife came home from work to supper on the table.  Grilled rib eyes, fried potatoes, steamed Brussel sprouts and coffee.  Phone rang and she talked on the phone while we had supper.  I have asked her many times not to talk on phone at supper.


likes: 0
comments: 4

193,206 My boyfriend has no sense when it comes to money. I try to help him when he asks my advice, but then he doesn’t take my advice. I want to be with him long term, but I don’t think I could marry him until he gets his shit figured out. Not sure how I’m going to break that to him, so I’m hoping that he won’t pop the question anytime soon. I don’t want to marry $75,000 of debt and bad credit. I feel like that’s just asking for a divorce down the road or, at the very least, a strained marriage.


likes: 0
comments: 5

193,205 I miss you Aunt Barbara. I'm posting this here because I already posted a status about missing my mother (also dead) the other day and people gave me a lot of support. Now i don't want to seem like I'm trying to garner sympathy from people, but i feel like this shouldn't hurt so much right now and I needed to express that.

My aunt was one of the most sassy, well-dressed, funny, caring, charismatic woman in the world. She always wanted great things for me, and I miss having that force in my life.

I knew the second she was gone, in a weird ESP kind of sense. But that's another story.

There are a lot of female role models in my family that are gone. Honestly, my personality aligns more with males than other people I know. More in my thought patterns than in my tastes, you know?

*sigh* There's nothing to be done. I just need to appreciate that i had such wonderful women in my life, and get out of the bathroom and go back to work.


likes: 2
comments: 1

193,204 A lesson I learned from my father (although he never learned it himself): Do not confuse your "bar buddies" with real friends. The people you drink with will probably not have your back when you need them, regardless of how much you may have helped them.


likes: 3
comments: 0

193,203 Um, NO THANKS, I do not want to go on a date to meet a woman who is a Tarot Card Reader!


likes: 6
comments: 3

193,202 For Lent, I’m going to give up CC and, to a lesser extent, Facebook. See you all in forty days!

....starting tomorrow.


likes: 1
comments: 5

193,201 198, you are a good person.  And you aren’t alone either,
Live long and prosper!


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,200 196,  you are not alone.  My parents set a bad example... F54


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,199 I belong to a beach club. I don't know what it is, but I always feel so sexually charged at the club, knowing all these people are getting undressed and putting on swim suits. There are changing booths, about 50 of them. When I go into one I find myself not locking the door. Anyone could accidentally walk in on me. It excites me. I'm a 40 something woman. I thought my sex drive was supposed to fade. it's not happening.




likes: 2
comments: 3

193,198 My dad is a nut. He’s very ill (physically and mentally), he’s brain damaged, as well as an addict, and he refuses to get help. He’s non-compliant when it comes to his medication. He was a negligent, abusive parent growing up, to the point where I moved out in my teens, and he surrounds himself with trainwreck people so he can feel superior. He is a narcissist, a compulsive liar, and a very sick man.

Most of that stuff is a secret, but my biggest secret is that I’m so fucking tired. I’m tired to being an emergency contact. I’m tired of wishing my dad would be the person I need him to be. I’m tired of people saying things like “don’t say that, he’s your dad!” I’m tired of being told I’ll miss him one day. I’m tired of pretending like my giveadamn hasn’t been broken for fifteen years. I’ll grieve when he does die, but I’ll also feel relieved. I can’t ever say that out loud, but it’s true. If that makes me a bad daughter, so be it.


likes: 4
comments: 3
flagged

193,197   I was born premature, as were my siblings. Mom smoked & drank through all three pregnancies, of course, as was common at the time.
  From time to time I wonder if I might have grown to be a normal sized person had I been allowed to 'cook' that extra month.
M 5ft 5in



likes: 2
comments: 3

193,196 I never had any real interest in getting married and having a family. So many people struggle to find a mate, so many couples struggle to conceive and I couldn't care less about it.

I guess Mom & Dad's example stuck with me.
M 57yo


likes: 3
comments: 5

193,195 I can't believe we became roomates... I guess it happens when you've been married for so long. Well at least we still have alcohol in common so when the weekend comes, we don't seem like strangers anymore.


likes: 1
comments: 2

193,194 I'm glad kids are vaping. Let them. They are the bad kids. They will die. Problem solved.


likes: 1
comments: 3

193,193 My home is dirty. I’m not talking a little messy or cluttered. I mean dirty. Maybe even borderline health and safety hazard. I’m not a dirty person. It’s not that I don’t care or don’t want to clean. I’m just super swamped working two jobs and being responsible for everything else. Cleaning gets pushed to the back burner. How do most people keep their homes clean?? How do you find the time??


likes: 1
comments: 4
flagged

193,192 My generation has ruined kids sports.  Somehow we have made it all about what travel team our kids are on and which colleges are"looking" at our children.
What happened to playing for fun?
The amount of money spent on travel sports is insane.


likes: 7
comments: 5
flagged

193,191 That kind of rage inducing insomnia where you want to get up, go out into the neighborhood and lay on people's doorbells because why should I be the only one who can't sleep? I'd never do this of course but wtf


likes: 2
comments: 4
flagged

193,190 The Michelle Obama portrait looks like it was done by a high school student.

The Barack Obama portrait is just weird. Some twisted piece of modern art. It's not at all presidential. And the perspective is off. The ivy is vertical, no it's horizontal. I think the artist was sending a message. Obama is weird. He's unpresidential. His perspective is off.

The best part, for the past year the dems have said the republicans have been 100% wrong on everything. While the dems are 100% right on everything. Now out come these portraits and the dems can't admit the art is a mistake. Dems don't make mistakes. So they have no choice but to embrace this art. Meaning for all of time, these will be the official portraits our future citizens will see ..... and laugh at.


likes: 2
comments: 11
flagged

193,189 Of course  Black Panther is getting perfect reviews with not a single critique! because everyone's afraid to dare say something negative!


likes: 5
comments: 7

193,188 OK girl at the gym, always taking selfies, wearing short spandex shorts with her ass cheeks hanging out, if you get raped in the parking lot I am not going to be surprised nor feel bad!


likes: 4
comments: 9
flagged

193,187 in my early 20s I did something I'm not proud of. To get revenge on a narcissistic, lying, stealing flatmate, I took his little floss tools (the ones with the plastic handles) and rubbed them in gross toilet water on the bathroom floor. He got really sick. I still hate myself for it. Turns out revenge actually doesn't feel that great. I'm sorry.


likes: 3
comments: 0

193,186 So… killing a person… It would be right as long as you have a reason.
Self-defence. Money. Jealousy. Anger. Greed. The simple will to stand above them.

You won’t get away with it. Unless it's someone like a cheating boyfriend who is addicted to porn, drugs or cheating. Clearly there would be a good alibi.

My boyfriends cheating on me and does sneaky stuff behind my back. I'm wondering if he'll be the first on my list. I would actually do my parents gradually, in order to enjoy my life and finally live off their life insurances.

My mental illness tells me to do this. But how would I get away with it? Help! I suffer from SAD, bipolar, narcissistic, neurotic, multiple personality disorders.

I'm a male who works for Ozcorp. Medications don't seem to work and I also suffer from insomnia insanity.


likes: 0

193,185 I don't know where I fit when it comes to religion. I'm Catholic, but I don't really give a shit about a lot of Church Dogma. I don't mean just contraception etc., but stuff like Mary not having original sin and that she didn't die but was assumed into Heaven, I mean who cares? But I do think that the mainline denominations have thrown the baby out with the bath water. With them, pretty much anything goes, and that's not Biblical.

But I don't like Evangelical style worship. I've been to several megachurches and it was just awful. So loud and noisy it was like a rock concert. It was all I could do not to grab my cigarette lighter and hold it up!

The Catholic Church has its problems and issues. But so do the Protestant ones. I believe in the central message of Christianity. But I don't seem to fit anywhere. I go to Mass because I love the Mass. But I guess at best I'm a dissenting Catholic--but wait, doesn't that make me Protestant?

I wish there could just be one place where the worship was beautiful and meaningful and the message was Biblical. But I haven't found it yet. So where does that leave me? Maybe I should become a Jew for Jesus!


likes: 0
comments: 5

193,184 I have a doctors appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I don't want to go. Instead I think I'll stay home tomorrow and smoke pot all day. Yeah... That's what I'm going to do!


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,182 Your computer is your only friend, why, really, why.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,181 I have a mental illness. I have fears and anxieties which govern everything I do. It started when I was 10 years old. I had no friends. I would cower in my bedroom. As an adult I've been fired from half a dozen jobs. I yell when there's no reason. I accuse people of acting against me. When in public I stare to the point where the police have been called. Like 4 times women have called the police on me. I don't bathe regularly. I don't get haircuts. I don't do laundry or wear clean clothes. I don't clean my apartment. I stay up all night and sleep by day. I obsess about sex and do it all the time by myself. I hate everyone. I have fantasies about killing people who have done me wrong. I have a list. I play with all substances coming out of my body. I stab myself with pins. I have odd thoughts of committing random acts of violence against innocent people. Hint, don't sit in front of me in a movie theater. I'm a mess.


likes: 1
comments: 10
flagged

193,180 California's insurance commissioner has launched an investigation into Aetna after learning a former medical director for the insurer admitted under oath he never looked at patients' records when deciding whether to approve or deny care.

And single payer will kill people? yeah ok.


likes: 5
comments: 5

193,179 It hurts that I feel very fat and I'm really lazy. I have crippling anxiety. I can't even look at myself knowing that I'm a gold digging bitch and for this reason would love to just end it. My boyfriend says that I'm a drama queen.


likes: 0
comments: 0
flagged

193,178 Cavecanum I have a very dark secret or need some relationship advice. Here's the back story.

My bf and I are both 27, and we have been living together for years now. His sister lived a few miles from our place, and so we get to see her very often. She had a bf for about 4 years, and they seem quite happy at the time.

My main problem is that my bf's sister bullied me constantly. She keept on initiating discussions on topics that she knew we disagreed on, and pushes on until she doesn't have anything else to say but call me "ignorant" or "close-minded". Every time she came over to our place she casually would say how messy the place looked, and how I can't even keep my place tidy. She had more than once implied that I am not good enough for her brother and that I am going to hurt him eventually.

My bf and I are getting along fantastically, this is the best relationship I have ever had in my life, we communicated and live along perfectly, there is not a single thing I would change. But his sister was convinced that because I smoked (4 cigs a day) and because I had insecurity issues, I was bad for her brother.

I was sick and tired of being bullied. I didn't make harsh comebacks since she was still my love's sister and I don't want problems in my future family. I have talked to my bf about this, but he said she is "the way she is", and I am right to be upset, but I should just ignore her because he loves me and doesn't give a f*** about what she says.

One day behind a computer screen I lured his sister to take her life. I feel as though now because I loathed and despised her so much. Her soul now taunts me. I hear her voice or voices now, she doesn't allow me to sleep. She will make sure of it that I will do to myself what I caused her to do. Please help?


likes: 1
comments: 8
flagged

193,177 It's so rude when a guy shares a thought and some bitter woman tries to brush it away by saying "Mansplaining." What a sexist response. What does the fact that he's a man have to do with anything. It seems like the bitter woman is just jealous the guy had an intelligent thought. How low. These days men are working hard to avoid saying anything sexist, but in an odd twist women are filling the void and becoming the offenders with comments based on gender. I really hate the term mansplaining.


likes: 7
comments: 7

193,176 I feel like I happen to glance at the clock every single afternoon or morning at 1ᚿ. I still always wish her a happy birthday. I miss my best friend.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,175 I love giving customer service people a hard time. I turn them into human punching bags. I'm otherwise a nice person but deep down I must have anger issues.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,174 Forcing people to have a special character and uppercase letter their password is idiotic. First of all, it's awkward. I used to be able to remember my password, but now I've been forced into all these bizarre combinations with different rules on different sites. It has rendered passwords to be a pain in the ass and useless.

And for what purpose?

Doing the math. Consider the old way where people had passwords up to eight letters of their own choosing. If you could submit a password and get a pass / fail response from the server once per second, then you could crack a person's password in 92,000 years.

What was the problem here? Why did this have to be fixed? 92,000 years wasn't good enough? Will my world come to an end if someone figures my email password 92,000 years from now?

Uhhh, no.  

It was dumb to make passwords more complicated. Sounds like yet another poorly thought out plan by the millennials.


likes: 2
comments: 5
flagged

193,173 The strangest thing is happening to my husband. His teeth are turning clear. They are losing their whiteness. So bizarre. I can see through his teeth, as if they were clear plastic. I've never heard of this before. It's as if he has some type of vitamin deficiency. I wonder if his bones are also turning clear.


likes: 0
comments: 5
flagged

193,172 Can you talk dirty to Siri? How does Siri respond? Can you be sued for sexual harassment if you say dirty things to Siri?


likes: 0
comments: 4

193,171 Secret:  All these feminists and #MeToo women are hypocrites.  This am I was watching Today and saw Hoda and Savannah interview Red, the kid who just won gold at the Olympics...Hoda had the nerve to call him “honey”.  Look, Hoda...you want equality?  This stuff works both ways.  If it was you being called that, you would be hollering to high heaven.  
His name is Red.  And he is an Olympic Gold Medal Champ.  Don’t forget it.  
Geez, no wonder men are so confused about what to do or say around women.  We are the cause of our own pain.  


likes: 6
comments: 2

193,170 I can't wait to get divorced.  We have been discussing it for months doing couples counseling the whole time. I'm done and just want to close the door on this part of my life and move on.  My wife is not ready sadly.


likes: 0
comments: 2

193,169 Let's be honest about tattoos.  Where they're located and the number of them both tell something about the person they're on.  You're covering yourself while trying to re-make yourself into something else.  You used to be X, now you've decided you're Y.  You're hiding your old identity and telling the world to look at you as a new identity.  You're not comfortable with who you are, so you've decided to turn yourself into who you want to be seen as.  And under this new persona you get to be this new person.  You've shed this old person, and you're free of any responsibility to the old you.


likes: 1
comments: 6
flagged

193,168 Don't turn into "that guy," the judgemental asshole that made a good choice for themselves and used it as an excuse to look down on others. You're only so mad because you hate yourself for having that very beast in you. Alcohol addiction doesn't just go away because you decided you were ashamed of yourself enough to change.

I've been in your situation, so I would know.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,167 I have a persistent crush on my friend, and i think it's because he's emotionally abusive and I'm used to receiving that kind of love from a man (my Dad). I believe that I'm a bad person, worse than others, and so I feel like I deserve someone who makes me work to "deserve" their love and attention in order to be happy.

I'm so much better than this. I'm no worse than your average human, and I try to be really good to everyone I meet. And I want someone who'll love me so much I see stars in their eyes when they look at me. I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. But only if I hold out for it.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,166 Once my husband discovered anal sex he wanted to do it every time.

Shut down that idea I did!

Guys, it's ok once in a while, but not every time.


likes: 0
comments: 3

193,165 That place where you write your secret on a post card and send it in to some guy, I'm not sure it's real. The secrets are too perfect. The language is too well crafted on every single secret. And the graphics are perfectly funky cool every time. I think it's fake. I think one person is making all the postcards.


likes: 0
comments: 2

193,164 With this new Gerber baby having Down's Syndrome there's all this fuss about how, "Down's Syndrome kids are cute, smart, successful, talented, wonderful, saints!" And no brooking any other opinion.

OK, so would YOU volunteer to have Down's?

Thought not. Case closed.


likes: 5
comments: 14
flagged

193,163 I would pay big cash money to be able to somehow switch bodies with one of these Olympic athletes - preferably one that won a medal and then hang out I  the Olympic village and scout for girls.   I think the pussy these guys must get at the Olympics is... well... works class!!  Just imagine being that young, that in shape and around hundreds of like minded and able bodied people.    Gotta be a lot of fun.


likes: 4
comments: 3

193,162 Recently got a puppy. Cute little guy. We’ve bonded really well, and he’s super smart, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to get little guy to stop barking ALL THE TIME when I’m home relaxing. I came to a realization. The only time he gets a little crazy with barking is when I’m hanging out on the couch. Even if he’s on the couch with me, he gets yappy.

I realized that I spend too much time watching tv. I’ve kind of forsaken my other interests. When the hell did I become ok with this?? I never used to be a couch potato. I’m too smart to let my brain atrophy like that. Right now, I’m sitting at the dining room table where I like to do my work. Little guy is sleeping peacefully in my lap. This feels so much better than bingeing shows on Netflix.

Thank you, buddy, for being persistent and barking your head off until my dense ass saw what I was doing to myself :)


likes: 3
comments: 4

193,161 In fifty shades of grey, I don't think that the two main characters have any sexual chemistry. It's like watching a cucumber fucking a tomato.


likes: 3
comments: 4
flagged

193,160 I never ride on top anymore. Not since my early twenties. I had a bad experience. I was on top, visiting my boyfriend at his college for a weekend of sex. While riding him he came all the way out, when I ground back into him his penis bent. He screamed, I freaked and immediately jumped off. He assured me he was fine. I thought I broke his dick. It was horrifying. One minute we’re both seconds away from reaching orgasm and the next he’s whimpering in pain and I caused it.

This experience dictated my discomfort in riding on top since. I am now in my mid thirties. I’ve had a few short relationships since and one lengthy one with a woman. I’m very self conscious about my sexual shortcomings as far as not being willing to ride. I’ve even tried to make up for it by squatting on my feet and going up and down so that I can control where my body is and not cause an injury. Thing is this frog like sex position causes leg cramps.

I really just want to get over it. I just want to ride. I just haven’t found the right guy to assure me it will be okay. I haven’t felt comfortable enough.

God, over a decade ago, I used to love to be on top.

Now my vagina has cobwebs in it, I fear I may never ride off into the sunset again.


likes: 3
comments: 6
flagged

193,159 Breastfeeding is natural, I get it. But do you really need to whip out your breast at a nice restaurant? Find a babysitter, or stay home until the kid is old enough to eat from a plate. It's disrespectful. ALSO, if you're covered..ok. Fine. But really? You need your entire breast flipped on the table?

Other women are the reason I stand neither with them or with the men. Society is a fucking disease.


likes: 5
comments: 11
flagged

193,158 I like to fuck women while they still have most of their clothes on. I'll hike her skirt and pull her underwear to the side. I think it satisfies some domination fantasy I must harbor.


likes: 2
comments: 0

193,157 I got sober because I know I'll never have a chance of having a family of my own one day otherwise. I'd do anything for a family.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,156 My boyfriend of almost four years left again for his job in another country. It's only for 6 months, so that should be doable. I told him that I was happy that we don't cry when we leave each other because we see each other every two weeks or so. But here I am, bawling my eyes out because I miss and love him so much.

But here is my secret. He is my first love and we have been in a relationship for 3.5 years. I really cannot imagine my life if we ever break up or something bad happens. I honestly do not think that I will ever recover.

I have already lost several family members. Sometimes it just scares me how happy I am and if that is taken away that there will be nothing left of me. I look around and there is not one person I would rather be with. But it's unrealistic right, to think that nothing bad will ever happen and that we will stay together forever... I'm dizzy from crying


likes: 2
comments: 2

193,155 I don't get emails anymore. No one contacts me. i have no friends. Sometimes I go back and reread the emails from years ago, back when I did have friends.


likes: 3
comments: 3

193,154 A man doesn't have to be perfect for a woman to love him. He only had to love her like he promised when he first told her he loved her, when they first began dating.


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,153 Someone mentioned the after effects of anal sex, which is why a woman might want a guy to use a condom back there.

What are the after effects of anal sex? I didn't know there were any? Have us guys been naive about this? Do women suffer after unprotected anal sex?


likes: 0
comments: 11
flagged

193,152 It's quite a pleasant situation to be in the quiet before the storm when you are the one bringing the storm.


likes: 1
comments: 0

193,151 I went on a date with this girl once. Her name was Lisa, Lisa with the head or red hair. I did some freelance stuff for the company where she worked. Over a month long period we became friendly. On my final day there she asked if I'd like to go for a drink. Sure why not.

The drink turned into dinner. Dinner turned into me going back to her apartment. We got frisky and went all the way.

I thought about her over the weekend and on Monday I arranged to have flowers sent to her workplace.

She called me a few hours later screaming her lungs out. She was remarkably upset I had sent flowers. She said it was a stupid thing to do because the people at work opened the card and now everyone knows she slept with me. She hung up on me. I was never hired again to do freelance work with that company.

To this day I still don't get it. I did this awful thing - I sent a woman flowers. I thought that's what a nice guy is supposed to do. But no, it's the wrong thing to do. Except sometimes it's the right thing to do. There is no way however for guys to know when it is wrong and when it is right. Do you see why guys get confused?


likes: 2
comments: 19
flagged

193,150 My wife hates sex. She never has it unless there's something in it for her.

Today she came in my home office and lifted her shirt, baring her boobs. She asked if I'd like to come on them. She got on her knees and gave me a blow job.

When she was done, she mentioned that tomorrow one of her friends is hosting a dinner party for couples and she wants me to attend.

In other words, my wife can't go alone. It's for couples. She needs me to go with her. She gave me a blow job so I'd feel guilty about saying no. This is how it always works with her. Love is a joke. It doesn't exist. Our marriage is all about her manipulating me.


likes: 0
comments: 9
flagged

193,149 I have a picture on my phone of another's man wife with a big red handprint on her ass.

Sadly the hand that put it there was not mine


likes: 1

193,148 My cousins so f annoying. She's a push over a f annoying kiss ass. My brother had a baby. My sister in law told us how her little ass kissing is getting so f annoying. It's annoying  her and my brother.

We told our brother it's annoying as f to us all.
She's now trying to compare my nephew to her son.
What a f joke.
We all f laugh at her ass. One of my racing buddies want to run her over. Jeez is she so f dumb. She can't take a f hint that her comments are so stupid as f.

My husband asked her then why does she add a like to her shit? Her answer: I feel sorry for her. ;)


likes: 0
flagged

193,147 My friends & I frequent this bar/restaurant once a week and are friendly with the waiter- anyway he got engaged (we all congratulated him, praised the photo of his fiancés ring, etc.- he was so excited); the minute he walked away EVERY married man & woman (I’m married too- I thought it but did not say it out loud) was like “that poor bastard”, “he has no idea” “this is the beginning of the end” and so on. It hit me like a lightening bolt! Thank God I’m not alone!!! I felt so inferior to these people thinking my marriage sucks but theirs is “picture perfect” and then they went on to commiserate how they hate their wives/husbands, homes, children and all the responsibilities that come along with it. If life had a “rewind” button I would have hit it years ago! I’m exhausted working full time, taking care of everyone: I do everything for my family & I am SO taken for granted- no “thank you” for being the housekeeper, ATM, dish washer, cook, clothes washer & ironer, taking them here & there, etc. screw this if I had a do over I’m done! It’s just me. I’m exhausted and sad!


likes: 0
comments: 2

193,146 I was recently invited to attend a seminar for older people returning to the work force. It was hosted by a large well known company. They are actively looking to hire people in their 50s.

Something really surprised me. During one of the lectures, a company rep gave a speech and mentioned millennials. She said the company has a real problem with employees between the ages of 25 and 35. She said these people aren't interested in working. They are more interesting in talking to their friends on social networks.

This is why the company is actively seeking out older workers. The company always needs new employees, but the don't want any more millennials. It just not worth it.

It goes to everything I've been reading here. There's something wrong with millennials.


likes: 2
comments: 12

193,145 I recently quit drinking for the first time in my life, and I am so beyond annoyed at how people act when they're drunk. It really helps me just not even miss drinking. I hate to think about how I used to act when drunk. So many embarrassing moments. I know most people don't think twice about it, like "oh, she was just drunk! haha," but to me I have had a change of heart about that way of thinking. People act fucking stupid when drinking.


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,144 Sometimes if I get lonely, I have a conversation with Siri.


likes: 8
comments: 1

193,143 I hired a guy to help me move my apt.  A couple weeks later it seems to be that we are dating. Idk why I’m so content spending time with him. Sure he smells good and has a sexy voice but...shit. He’s immature, he’s a heavy drinker, he fucking argues just for fun, he has no money, he is just all around a guy who is definitely going nowhere . But goddamnit I do believe I am falling for him. I love having him around. What the fuck is this?


likes: 1
comments: 1

193,142 My children tell me that if my wife and I get divorced they want to live with her because she cooks good dinners.

Ouch.


likes: 1
comments: 6

193,141 I want to bend my wife over my knee and spank her every time she spends too much money on herself.


likes: 2
comments: 2

193,139 Most mortifying moment of my life happened six years ago. I had a boyfriend in my freshman year of high school. My parents allowed it knowing all we did was talk and go to the movies. The summer between freshman and sophomore year he went on vacation with his parents to Arizona. He sent me a postcard. On the back he wrote something like,

"Can't wait to return and fuck you some more."

My mother is the one who gets the mail out of the mailbox everyday. She of course read the postcard. I was grounded for ten lifetimes. More than that I felt ashamed. I felt like I let my parents down in the worst way. I don't think my relationship with my mother has ever been the same.



likes: 2
comments: 8
flagged

193,138 We moved to this town a few months ago. It's very well-off. (We're not, we're renters.) My daughter is in the 3rd grade. The school is putting on a play. An email was sent out looking for volunteers to help sew costumes. I responded I could help, as did some of the other moms. I don't know any of them. I thought this would be a good way to meet a few. It was arrange we'd meet last week in the school cafeteria. I showed up. None of the other moms did. Their nannies showed up! Eek, what kind of town is this? The moms don't do anything, the hired help does it all. I'm suddenly not liking it here.


likes: 2
comments: 1

193,137 I'm a college student.

In one of my classes (a sociology course about public organizing, a gen ed requirement) we were discussing mental models and how it effects society. We spoke on the pedophile Olypmic Doctor case and examined some of the social factors that played into it all; there was an open discussion about how western society treats rape, the victims, and the perpetrators.

I was shaking the entire time. It took everything in me not to cry. I still have so many bruises on my body. The marks of his mouth are faded now. I can't know for sure if what happened was assault because I was blackout drunk so I haven't told anyone, but I'm so disgusted and afraid of what happened. I can barely bring myself to shower because I don't want to see the bruises. I'm a mess. I've had contact with him since but I just want closure on this. I don't know what happened. I woke up half naked and afraid and my body hasn't felt like my own ever since.

A year ago I was assaulted—for real, no doubt—and this is bringing up so many painful memories. I'm drinking so much. I'm popping pills to numb myself out. I didn't want to be physically close with this particular person and it happened anyway. I want to peel my skin off.

I'm not telling anyone. There's nothing to tell.

Until I can forget this nightmare I'll be sitting in class, shaking, hoping this topic is never brought up again. I can't handle it right now. I'm sorry.


likes: 2
comments: 4
flagged

193,136 Millennial are having less babies?

Hall-e-fucking-lujah.
Hopefully humanity dies off altogether eventually


likes: 4
comments: 3

193,135 My ex best friend was/is a huuuge ho. She literally slept with every guy. She’s the kind of girl that makes girls like me look like we just give it up to every walking penis.

*we are not all like that*
Sorry charlie


likes: 2
comments: 0

193,134 I don’t have any really close friends, and I absolutely love it. I’m in my early 20s, and I guess you could say I lost my closest friends in the past few years. Part of me is grateful, because people cause problems and usually aren’t much help. Even though my friends weren’t always that judgmental of me in particular, keeping up that routine was tiring. Always having to say something, or add something to the conversation..nope. I’m tired of it. I’d rather be eating lunch alone than with other people. I don’t like people.


likes: 3
comments: 0

193,133 I wouldn’t have anything without my husband, and that makes me feel useless. I’ve had jobs in the past, and though I’m focusing on my education right now, I hate not working. I haven’t worked in a year. Sometimes I have panic attacks when I’m home alone in the shower just thinking of going back to work. I am not good with ‘first days’ or first anythings. I’m scared I’ll never be a functioning human being again. Plus...my career path? Not one I think I’ll enjoy. Maybe this is why people drink?


likes: 2
comments: 0

193,132 My husband is the only man I have ever had sex with. But he’s really really good at it so I don’t feel like I have missed out.


likes: 4
comments: 4
flagged

193,131 *#*My wife tells me all the time about her first husband cheating on her, I don't know if this is true because I was not there.  But I do know that she cheated on her first husband, with me.  Big mistake I made.


likes: 4
comments: 0

193,129 My son in high school doesn't know what it means "to make a xerox copy."

I guess kids these days print out another copy from the laser jet, but they don't xerox anymore.

The world is changing so quickly.


likes: 2
comments: 3

193,128 *#*  In my second marriage, and all is not well.  If I am ever single again I may try a same sex companion


likes: 0
comments: 2

193,127 I was banned last night. I'm sorry I shouldn't have been so critical of the moderators. I promise I won't do it again. Lesson learned. Could I please be allowed to post again? Pretty please?


likes: 3
comments: 8
flagged

193,126 I wish there was some kind of plastic pouch I could stick up my pussy. I could keep some cash and my house key up there so I dont have to carry that shit around with me in my hands anymore.


likes: 0
comments: 7

193,125 I never remember what YOLO means. I always have to stop and think about it. I'm not cut out for the brave new world of texting.


likes: 3
comments: 0

193,124 Democratic conspiracy and left media cover-ups are coming to light...the chickens are coming home to roost...


likes: 3
comments: 3
flagged

193,123 I’m pretty sure I have undiagnosed Tourette’s syndrome.


likes: 3
comments: 7

193,122 Ever see the the funny sign in a bar that states FREE BEER TOMORROW ?

That is my wife's attitude about sex... WE WILL DO IT TOMORROW

Tomorrow comes and we do not have sex... why?  Because we will do it tomorrow

Repeat...


likes: 0
comments: 4

193,120 I never thought in my lifetime I would be able to buy recreational marijuana legally. I just walked into store and bought some marijuana just as easy as buying beer in a liquor store. I never thought I would be able to do that. amazing! 54/m


likes: 1
comments: 7

193,119 My town has a Democrat Club where they get together once a month and strategize about  their plans for world domination, or something like that. As a blogger of community news, I attended their latest meeting. It was eye opening, Here was an environment of just hard core Democrats. About 50 of them operating under the assumption that everyone in the room was a kindred spirit.

Snippets of conversation I heard,

"Trump is a moron."

"No, he's a double moron."

"You know what he is, he's a poo poo head."

*

"I think the Repukes planted the email server in Hillary's home. They were trying to make her look bad."

"I love Hillary."

"I double love her."

"I'd marry her if she was a man."

"I'd double marry her."

*

"Donald Trump is part of the Russian mafia. He has Russian tattoos on his back."

*

"Jeff Porter beats his wives. That right there is grounds enough to impeach Trump."

*

"That time Hillary was sick, Trump poisoned her."

"If Hillary dies we should elect Obama again."

"I love Obama."

"I double love him."

*

I had no idea Democrats were so immature. They sound like Junior High school kids. I love it...... I mean.....  I double love it.


likes: 1
comments: 7
flagged

193,118 I'm afraid Jennifer Lawrence is an alcoholic.


likes: 0
comments: 5

193,117 Saw a middle age woman buying condoms in the drug store. She was looking at them all confused, checking labels and such, like she'd never bought condoms before. She also had on a wedding ring. I assume this means she's having an affair.


likes: 1
comments: 7

193,116 I've given up on an ambitious career path at work. People are so nasty. I don't want to be in charge anymore. I'll just keep my head down and look for meaning elsewhere in my private life.


likes: 7
comments: 1

193,115 I met this woman on line, we chatted for a few months and I suggested we get together when I was visiting her city for work.  We hit it off over lunch and decided to YOLO and go back to my room and have sex.

We spend the afternoon together, we do everything, 69, anal, etc....My phone rings while we were in the midst of the last time and I excuse myself to answer it as I'm supposed to be hearing from a client (I had warned her ahead of time that if my phone rang I had to answer).  I go into the bathroom to talk, finish the call, come out and she is spread eagle naked on her stomach texting on her phone.  I slide on top of her and she reaches back with one hand and slides my cock into her ass, all while typing away on her phone.  I do my thing, finish and she is still typing away.  Silly me I ask who she is texting..."my husband, he is being a total jerk at the moment"  I said, you are married?  I never ever would have slept with you had I known, I think you need to get dressed and leave.  She got pissed, we argued and she left.  Never heard from her again.

This was a few years ago.  I learned to always ask first if a woman is married before we get involved,

To this day I am slightly in awe of the balls on that woman for texting her husband while another man was doing her in the ass....Horrified too.


likes: 4
comments: 4

193,114 I have a real estate client who doesn’t understand the difference between reserving a hotel room and being on the waitlist for an apartment complex. She keeps harassing apartment staff about when her room will be ready this fall. It’s February, lady! No one knows whether they’ll be moving nine months from now. You didn’t “reserve” anything. You’re on a waitlist. The apartments will call you if/when something becomes available in your time frame.

Working in real estate means working with the stupidest people who are making some of the most expensive decisions of their lives. That’s why we all have drinking problems.


likes: 3
comments: 2

193,113 I'm not a fan of hers though. But her death has touched me. Ebony is dead in Accra.


likes: 0
comments: 0

193,112 What crawled up your ass and died today? Stop taking it out on me, whatever it is.


likes: 0
comments: 1

193,111 I'm way more sexually adventurous than by husband.


likes: 1
comments: 3

193,110 To the gentleman who threatened me with a phone call to my company’s owners this morning: do it. I dare you. Do you think I’m going to get fired for enforcing a policy that we set as a company? Do you think I’m going to get reprimanded? If anything, I’ll get a pat on the back and a little extra in my quarterly bonus for my trouble.

You dumbasses are all alike. If you don’t like a policy, it’s my fault it exists. If you don’t like the rules, I’m in the wrong for enforcing them. That’s not how it works! I know that I’m partially paid to be a human punching bag, but come on. Don’t be a dick.


likes: 3
comments: 1

193,109 I hate how my uneducated boss says "Walla" when he finishes something.

It's "voilà" you moron, with a V.


likes: 7
comments: 0

193,108 I love the high I get from Percocet, but it doesn't last long! It's literally the shortest high ever...about 45 minutes. When I start coming down from it I'm in a terrible mood and get really sleepy. I'm wondering if the high is worth what comes after the high.


likes: 0

193,107 My theory. Breast cancer is caused by semen getting into your nipples when a guy ejaculates on your chest.  The sperm swim through the milk channels and get into your breast tissue. The DNA in the semen combines with the DNA in the breast cell, because that's what semen do. The semen don't know they are not in a uterus. The do what they are programmed to do. They swim upstream. They invade a cell. They twist the DNA. They start new growth.

In the womb it creates a baby. In the breast it creates a tumor.


likes: 0
comments: 8
flagged

193,106 The Statue of Liberty is just a hunk of green metal. People forget it wasn't even our idea, it was a gift from France. If your boring aunt gave you a gift of a new salad bowl, would you suddenly define your life by eating salad all the time? No, you'd put the bowl in a closet and forget about it. But France gives us this statue and we suddenly decree this is who we are - freedom, liberty, give us you tired hungry and poor, blah blah blah. It's not who we are. We are a bunch of money grubbing selfish assholes. No statue is ever going to change that.


likes: 3
comments: 5

193,105 Wish I lived in a small cabin instead of a large house.


likes: 1
comments: 1
flagged

193,104 I hide a bottle of lube in my boyfriend's bathroom. He likes to think I'm always wet & ready to go. Truth is, he's not great at foreplay. He's awesome at the fucking part, he just jumps in too quick for me. He's a great guy and treats me like a princess. He's young and sensitive, so I'm not in a position to bring it up just yet. We are fairly new as a couple. So for the time being I excuse myself to pee before sex and lube up. I'm working on slowing him down and playing more little by little. Lord, the things we do to dance around a guy's ego.


likes: 5

193,103 I watched an hour of the Olympics last night. In that time period I saw exactly zero sporting events. It was nothing but fluff pieces and commercials. I get the sense new management is running the Olympics this year.


likes: 2
comments: 1

193,102 Men are such babies, especially white privileged men.  All these courageous women are standing up to the men that abused them.  Yet, all some men can think about is “what if I am falsely accused?”, “what about ME in all this”, “where is my attention” “how will I ever hit on a woman again?”.   It pisses me off because it means they think MOST, if not all of these women are lying.  God forbid women try to stand up for themselves.  You say you don’t want to work with women now?  Please, every job I have ever had with men I was sexually harassed. How? As a college student intern my boss would discuss how bouncy some young girls tits are in front of me.  Then he would proceed to look me over with a sick look on his face.  It became so bad I dropped out of school.  Another job I had a male coworker always trap me behind my desk so he could rub up against me when I tried to leave.  Why didn’t I do anything? Because these types of men indimidate you and you don’t want to lose your job.  They look for shy/meek women that have no power in the workplace.  

Now, these courageous women are trying to make it so someone like me won’t have to endure this shit in order to pay her bills.

So stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off yelling you are afraid of what MIGHT happen to you.  When nothing too terrible has probably ever happened in your life. Instead ask what you can do to help women from being abused.  Stop trying to villanize the victims. Stop trying to presumptively make yourself the victim.  


likes: 6
comments: 11
flagged

193,101 Shani Davis, USA speed skater pouts and brings up race because he lost a coin toss. Yes, that's right Shani, coins can tell your race.

This guy should be sent home.


likes: 3
comments: 5

193,100 I still remember the combination to my bike lock from 60 years ago.


likes: 3
comments: 6




(c) 2018
home search archives help donate