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209,522 We match on Tinder. Cutie. Mainly artsy pics of her in the park. I vaguely recognize her from Instagram.

Me: hey, did we go to the same high school? Lol
Her: haha yes!

When I check back, she’s added a pic with a very, very revealing bikini to her profile.

Lol.


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209,521 My ongoing saga.

My wife was participating in risky behavior. She was ignoring all the social distancing rules. She went so far out of bounds one day that I asked her to isolate in our spare bedroom. She refused. I asked her to leave this household.

She went and stayed with a friend for the night. The next day when the friend realized my wife had potentially been exposed, the friend said my wife couldn't stay there anymore.

My wife then went to stay with her sister. The sister hates me. She was probably gleeful to help my wife be apart from me. Very interesting though. After two weeks with my wife continuing to do risky things, the sister asked my wife to leave.

My wife then went to stay with our daughter who is spending the summer at college. My daughter made it clear my wife could only stay one night. That's tonight.

I asked what the plan is going forward. My daughter gave me the skinny. My wife has all her clothes in the back seat of her tiny car. Staring tomorrow my wife is going to sleep in her car. This does not sound like a reasonable plan. She will need access to a bathroom and shower and food. She can't even stretch out to sleep laying down. She'll have to sleep sitting up. Typical poorly thought out plan by my wife.

All this so she doesn't have to admit defeat and quarantine in our spare bedroom for two weeks.

The virus won't kill my wife. Her ego is what's going to kill her.


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209,520 Here's a test you should do on every potential friend. Tell them you're insecure about a particular thing. Don't use something you're actually insecure about, but just say something else. Example: "I'm really insecure about my nose". If they are a fake ass friend, they will start sprinkling the word "nose" in everyday conversation."You have something on your nose". "Look at that girl's nose." "My nose hurts for some reason." "This guy I know got punched in the nose." And that's how you'll know. This person just wants to bring you down.


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209,519 I despise drunk people. Fucking loud mouth buffoons. You make asses of yourselves. Hope your head hurts like hell the next morning.


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209,518 I work 40+ hrs, still a student in pursuit of a larger salary, cook dinner, clean, spend all my earnings on the household, carry all the mental load. He works maybe 30 hrs a week, spends tons of money on his addiction, comes home from work and sits on his ass while I cook clean do homework . Takes a day trip out of state to buy his drugs while I work all day. Spends half his income on this trip. Tries to convince me to buy more and more and more shit. For him. Eventually I give in and buy him something expensive. Maybe if I buy him something he’ll be nice. Maybe if I suck his dick he’ll be nice. He is for a short period, maybe a few minutes, maybe an entire day. Then he goes right back to being a self serving POS.

I need him to get so angry that he hits me so I can keep the house and kids. If he doesn’t do it soon, I have a backup plan and savings piling up in preparation of letting it all go. I will say that it isn’t fair that I’ve made this house a home and he gets to keep it.


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209,517 I'm having bad thoughts. I'm sad. I'm alone. I have no one to talk to.


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209,516 I haven't touched myself in months. Honestly I'm a little afraid of licking my fingers to lube my clit. Silly I know. I suppose I could use a store bought lube, but still the idea of touching myself and pleasure seems misplaced when all hell is breaking loose in the world.


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209,515 Fucking hate the weekend’s


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209,514 What do you do when one person has turned your whole workplace against you with lies and slander?


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209,513 I should be caring for myself. Instead I’m explaining racism to your dumb ass.


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209,512 My coworker is pretending to be my friend. She literally asks me questions so she can report back to the bully about what I said. And she thinks I don't have a clue. She's literally heart reacting on everything I post on facebook. She's hanging out with the bully this weekend.


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209,510 Self serving piece of shit.


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209,508 Midwesterners get angry when they find out you know news first. They’re pretty sensitive about being 6 years behind on current events and about 50 years behind on civil rights.

Slow country bumpkins hahahahaha!!!!!!


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209,507 I hate when someone posts RIP as a response to an obituary. How lazy. Someone was with us for years. They were part of our fabric. They were a parent, a spouse, a friend. And all you can do to honor their memory is type three cliched letters. Do me a favor, when I die, type nothing.


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209,506 I know a young single mom. She fancies herself to be oh so kewl. She used to party and do drugs all night. She was a heroin addict for a while. I suspect she still is. A few years ago she got pregnant. She ignored it. Eventually it was too late for an abortion so she had the kid. The kid by the way was born addicted to heroin.

As if this isn't a bad enough story on how some women should not be a mothers, it gets worse.

The kid is now three years and it turns out he's transgender. Yep, he wants to live his life as a girl. He wears dresses and his hair is down to his butt. His heroin mom puts curlers in it and does it fancy for him and then she posts a picture to Facebook just to get a reaction out of people.

Of course a three year is not making the decision to be transgender. It's his weirdo druggie mom forcing it on him. This is kid is just collateral damage in all this transgender nonsense. His mom is really fucking him up good.


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209,505 You rub people the wrong way.


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209,504 Florida and Georgia were the first states open. There were a few weeks where they totally lied about the number of new cases. Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, that's right, it was an accident....

But now, with more oversight involved, they are showing the correct numbers and their new cases are at an all time high.

Two take-aways.

1) The states lied and were caught and showed no remorse.

2) All time record highs. This scares the crap out of me. It took about a month, but this outcome makes perfect sense.

3) Almost every other state opened up a few weeks after Florida an Georgia. Give it two more weeks and we will once again be living in hell.


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209,503 Your art is such ridiculous crap. OMG, you should be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for you. You paint images of leaves and flowers and blobs of garish colors on paper plates. It's like something kids do in kindergarten. But you want to charge $40 to people for the privilege of owning your childish attempt at art. Please stop. Please don't paint anymore. Your poor husband. First he's out $30,000 to build you an art studio. No one came to buy anything ever. Then it blew down in a storm and all your masterpieces were destroyed. Take a hint, God was sending you a message. Now he's out more money as you had an online gallery created to show off your brilliance. How's that going. Anyone actually buy anything ever? Who knows, maybe you can fill the niche of really bad art in case kindergarten students stop painting.


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209,502 I wish there was an anonymous way to tell people what I really think of them. Like there could be a website with a rating system for everyone in the world. Each of us could go there and say I know Joe Schmo. He's an ass. He cheats on his wife and does drugs. I give him a 2 out of 10 as a human being.

As much as everyone could rate everyone else, each of us could then look up our own rating to see how people really feel about us.

But the way society works now, jerks are jerks and they don't realize we think so. If they knew, maybe they would change.


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209,501 In far too many amateur porn clips, the wife has a wart on her anus or vagina. It makes me think a very large percentage of the population has this unfortunate ailment. Gross.


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209,500 Wifey went away on a ski vacation in January for a week with her best friend. They shared a hotel room. Everything went well. A month later I was paying the phone bill. I glanced at the calls and texts. I noticed on their final night, my wife received a text from her friend at 1 AM. And another text at 5 AM. My wife didn't respond until noon.

WTF?

Why was the woman texting my wife throughout the night if my wife was asleep in the bed next to her? Clearly my wife didn't return to the hotel room that night.

My wife has refused to talk about it. At first she refused to let me see the texts. Then when she finally did let me on her phone, the texts were deleted. This was not acceptable to me back when it happened. It is still not acceptable to me today. This is seething inside me and will lead to the end of this marriage.


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209,499 This graph says it all. It's not only horrifying. It's deflating. Time to accept that we lost.

Back at the beginning of April we knew things were dire. If we didn't come together and isolate, we were doomed.

But look, back in April the world listened. The number of cases did go down.

Since then, a disaster. The cases around the world are now higher than ever. The April isolation was only a fleeting correction.

There is no longer any chance to stop this. Hundreds of millions will die. Here, there, everywhere.





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209,498 My neighbor's lawn is all of 10 feet by 10 feet. How the hell does it take him four hours to cut it? Four hours of loud and whining mowers and weed whackers. And why do men have to need to rev an engine? Vroom, vroom, vroom. This is insane. I could cut that lawn faster with a pair of scissors.


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209,497 My wife is cruel.


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209,496 I think there are enough bread crumbs under my computer keys... to make a good sized sandwich.


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209,495 I have a hemorrhoid.


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209,494 I've been awake for 22 hours. I can't fall asleep. I'm not tired.


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209,493 The Midwest is way more racist than the south and they are about to have their whitey white culture attacked from all sides.

Because the Midwest is a wasteland of useless fat bodies. They are good for nothings. At least the south is trying. The Midwest WANTS to be more white and more racist.

As a mixed person I find the Midwest way scarier than the south.


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209,492 I still have sex tapes of my ex-wife. I said they were destroyed. I lied.


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209,491 23 years ago as my daughter was graduating from arguably the best college in the country, I said to her something to the effect of, "You are highly intelligent. You have a tremendously articulate speaking voice. I am not trying to criticize you, or put you down when I say this next part. I am trying to be helpful. I feel you will not be successful in life because you are not kind. You have no patience with others. You talk down to people. I think you should consider working on this aspect of you and then nothing will hold you back in life."

She got pissed and huffy. She did nothing to change her ways.

She is now 44 years old. She never married. She never held onto a boyfriend for more than a few months. She went through a slew of jobs. She quit a few. She was fired from a few. She lives in a ratty apartment and is working as an office admin in a small local real estate firm. Hardly what I would have envisioned for the highfalutin college grad.

Lesson: It's important to be kind.


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209,490 I can feel my husband pushing me away. It’s been happening for a few weeks. Usually I fight for my marriage, but right now I don’t want to. I love him with everything, but why should I always be the One fighting for him. Why can’t he fight for me once in awhile?  I don’t want to feel like the consolation prize everyday of my life anymore.


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209,489 Your goal is to add fuel to the fire and make others as miserable as you are. Stop interfering with other people's marriages! You are scum.


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209,488 I know of a family party that happened two days ago. 25 people at a house. It was indoors with no social distancing or other precautions. I wasn't there. Hell no. There is one sister who made an excuse and didn't attend. I think she's the only one in that moronic family who understands. I'm waiting and watching.... I'll tell you in another week how it played out.


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209,487 Get this fucking douche out of office! History books will forever discuss how he destroyed the nation. He is such an immature hateful jackass. He created these menacing cops. He created this racist undertone. Now he wants to have our own soldiers fire upon our citizens? You kidding me? Here in America? 250 years of proud history down the toilet.


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209,486 I just want to not feel like this. I just want the pain to stop. I feel like there’s a cancer in my mind. No, I don’t want to talk about my feelings, I don’t want to make it easier for you to bear, I don’t want to protect your idea of me, I want the pain to stop. It’s mental agony. Just want it to stop.


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209,485 I’m out of whiskey. Tomorrow I go to the liquor store and buy a fifth of 120proof vodka. It’s either a shot an hour or spend all day crying, so.


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209,484 What the fuck is wrong with police officers? You guys are fucking assholes. You pushed an elderly man to the ground. He's bleeding out the back of his skull. (The bleeding makes a large puddle as the video continues.) And what do the rest of the cops do? They walk right on past as if they don't see him.

Cops, you are so fucking out of control. I completely understand where the protesters are coming from. You cops all need to be fired and or thrown in jail.

Wow. I'm usually a big fan of cops. But holy shit you fuckers. You suck.






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209,483 How did I end up here? Before I had a great job, did an incredible amount of work for my company and made them a boat load of cash. Now I'm working horrible job, for a horrible boss who uses me, takes mt ideas and makes money off of them and doesn't give me commission. He just tells me how much of a blessing I am and rakes in all the money from my ideas. Meanwhile, I'm stuck because the town I live in doesn't have a decent job market and my boss knows it. He uses it to his advantage knowing that I am struggling to pay bills and keep my head above water. Mark my words. you will reap what you sow. You employ a pedophile in a business that has tons of children just because it saves you money. You lie to the IRS and overcharge people. You are a bad, bad person. Dont tell people you are a Christian and you get doen on your knees and thank God every night for your business. I am the reason you are successful. You are a moron. A bumbling idiot who lies and schemes to get ahead,, Your day will come and I will be there to laugh when it all comes crashing down on you.


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209,482 I messaged my ex tonight. Just a simple hi. He didn't respond. Maybe because it was late. Maybe because he was ignoring me. I feel so pathetic because the only reason he talked to me was because he wanted something from me tat I painted. He wanted me to send him a picture of it so he could get another one of his friends to paint it for him. I'm not even good enough to fuck. He just wanted to use me for a painting. How incredible sad,


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209,480 I got sent home today by my boss. He made up a lie and told me that 3 people came to him and said I was saying things about him behind his back. Yet he wouldnt tell me who or what was being said, Stop your lying , you evil man. You made up lies because you didn't want to pay me. You are a liar, racist, cheat...just an all around bad person. You just didnt want to pay me because your business isnt doing well. Keep on. Karma will catch up to you...


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209,479 ME: Reaching out to you. I'm having a hard time dealing with all this. Just wanted to hear another human voice.

HER: You are weak. Get over it.

**********

Yeah, I don't think I'll be going out on that limb ever again.


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209,478 When I first start a relationship I find out everything I can about that person. Their twitter. Their insta. Their Facebook. Their tumblr. Their reddit. Their youtube. Everything. I find their parents social media, their siblings, their friends. Where did they grow up? What music did they like when they were 14? What shows do they watch? Then I slowly start slipping in what I find out.

“Yeah, one of my favorite bands is Slowdive.” (Learned that from their Spotify.) “no way, me too!”

“I LOVE The Shining.”
“It’s my favorite movie!”
“But I think 2001 is probably his best.”
“Yeah, I totally agree.”
(Thank you Letterboxd.)

I’m interested in people who are interested in roughly the same things I’m interested in. It’s not like I take on an entirely new persona with each person. I don’t care for marvel movies, never was wild about country, can’t really get into sports. Whatever. If someone’s really into those things (or others) we can’t have a connection. But if they’re into similar things I’m into... time to engage the google-fu.


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209,477 I'm not very political, but I have real trouble envisioning what this country will be like if we elect democrats. They made it clear this week that they don't mind the looting. Maybe the democrat leaders took this stance to embarrass the republican head honcho, and maybe the democrats plan on opposing looting when they get elected. But good luck putting that genie back in the bottle. You allow looting today, the thugs will keep right on looting forever.


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209,476 My thermos of morning coffee always has vodka in it. ALWAYS.


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209,475 I am happy and in love with a wonderful man who I find incredibly attractive. I masturbate and think about other guys. Being in a relationship is painful for me because of my low self esteem. I'm always thinking he'll want someone else, that I'm not good enough, that he'll leave me for a hotter woman, or even that he wants to but won't but he's unhappy with me. It's not because of anything he did either. It's me and my own insecurity. So it's nice to think about guys who's opinions I don't care about, and rub one out.The other reason is that it's feels good to do things that you're not supposed to be doing. I wish I didn't have anxiety about being in a relationship. Also, I am aware that everyone does this, but I think my reasons are different than other people's.


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209,474 I slept with another guy when I was broken up with my current partner. Is it horrible I sometimes feel I chose the wrong guy? 2 years in, i don’t know...


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209,473 People used to lie about me a lot... it was weird.
It first started in high school, I was friends with 4 people..2 guys and 2 girls. They all asked me to hang with them. One of the guys dated one of the girls and I guess the guy got mad at me for some reason and told the girl to lie about me.
After inviting me over she lied and said I stalked her and showed up at her place... none of it was true... then the other girl started to lie and show up at my moms and later my dads. Usually with a video camera. Each time I would leave she would follow me and call the cops saying I was following her.. I was asked multiple times to explain my actions.. I did.. I said I never done anything. One incident they claimed I was at a barn and stalked a girl there... I never did I had proof I was elsewhere. I told them to talk to my dad and they said they dont want to talk to him... Well why accuse me of stuff if you dont want other witnesses claiming otherwise because I was with him.
. Eventually my dad got a lawyer for me and the kids got a cease and desist order so they stopped. I didnt understand any of it.. like why lie all of a sudden. Another one of the girls asked me about an incident that I wasnt at.  I had evidence they I never did any of the things...  but it made me very paranoid and scared of people afterwards.

Next one happened a year later. I was invited to another friends party. I went and was introduced to this girl there. I said it was nice to meet her and I hope she likes the movies we were all gonna watch. I didnt say much to her that night and sat on the couch watching movies with everyone else. I get pulled away by another friend and he tells me the girl said I was gonna follow her home that night.... Wtf I just met this person and already she is lying about me... I told him he was there with me during my only convo with her and he knew I didnt say anything.. He tells me to just watch out. I sit far from the girl in question and decide to leave early. I told my friend hosting it that I didnt fell well and headed to my dads. The girl told people the next morning I followed her home! I just met her and she lied about me...why?? Other people there knew she lied but never got to why... It was so weird to me.
Another time related to the same group there was some boyfriend of a girl in the group came to me saying I was stalking his girl... I didnt know the girl in question but she hung out with the group of friends. I maybe had one interaction with her that was a non issue. He threatened me and showed up at my house later.. I got him to run away when I pulled a gun on him. He also claimed I was at his work. I didnt even know this dude and he was lying about me and stalked me.
After another party that I thought went well I got a text from someone claiming I tried to drag a woman into the trunk of my car and drive away. This person called the cops on me. Nothing like this ever happened at the party and certainly I would get my ass kicked if I tried. The police did show up at her place and lo and behold she told them that no kidnapping happened and the caller lied. I never found out who the caller was.

Eventually I got tired of the lies and I stopped hanging out with most people. I became a recluse.. stayed home and only went out for food, sometimes the occasional walk in an area I could be alone. I did get approached by two ladies in a grocery store who said I was a known stalker I told them I never stalked anyone. They said they would mace and shoot me if they saw me in town. I left my cart full of groceries inside the store and walked away. People I didnt even know were lying about me.

It happened in other jobs too. I wouldnt do a favor for someone and they decide to lie about me..fudge numbers on reports and the like I lost a couple of good jobs that way. They completely fabricated incidents and reports,, even of times I was off work.

I eventually stopped talking to most people. I trusted no one and looked at other people with disdain. I started to lie about what I did and where I worked... I said few words in conversations so I could give less people information about me. I probably seemed like a crazy schizophrenic... I blocked a bunch of people I thought were instigating it and changed my number. It slowed it down. I never knew why people always lied about me though... it never made sense. What was their goal? To elevate themselves socially.. to gain money...satisfaction.. like wtf I had the worst luck at this.

It stopped for the most part after this married couple I worked for... me and the wife talked about grilling and a bbq... I asked her if she was interested in doing one... she lied and told her husband I tried to get her into a sex orgy... like wtf how does one go from a bbq conversation to sex orgy. It was in a yahoo instant message so I sent him ALL the conversations which never had any sex talk... he told me he would talk to his wife and get back with me... he did eventually and apologized... I guess his wife went crazy he said.... Unexplained like this never happened to her before.

I must have been cursed or something. I dont believe in curses or what another person said about targeted individuals. I dont believe the government was after me but why so many people lie about me?? I had never done any of the things I was accused of and most of the time had evidence supporting my innocence. I wasnt some creeper following women around because I accounted for where I was each time and had internet convos and emails saved. Other people witnessed and accounted for where I was which saved my ass.. and sometimes it was other dudes lying about me too...

It stopped after a while but I still never found answers. ..


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209,472 ... and then there was the time a car passed my wife in the left hand lane, all legal. But my wife felt it was rude. So at the next traffic light my wife jumped out of the driver's seat, ran up to the other car now waiting at the red light, and starting pounding on a horrified woman's window. The scared woman, not knowing what to do, pulled out into the intersection, almost causing an accident. My wife continued to chase after the car while flailing her arms and cursing because the woman was "trying to get away."  Yes, the woman was "trying to get away" from my wife.

A dozen other drivers witnessed the incident. The story made the newspaper as a road rage incident. The police asked for the public's help in identifying the raged driver... um... yes... that would be my wife.


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209,471 I have a neighbor who posts on Facebook everyday. As if the world hangs on her every thought. Mostly what she posts is judgmental nastiness about everyone and every issue in town. I read her tripe because it's fascinating to see how she is so constantly negative.

Adding to my amazement, today she posted this:

"When some people encounter a rose garden, all they see are the thorns."

You kiddng me lady. Everyone else around here is normal and cheerful. She is the biggest Debbie downer ever. Yet she somehow wants to scold everyone else for having a problem with negativity.

The crazies live among us.


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209,470 “Why aren’t you open about mental illness? Break the stigma! End the silence!”

You mean well. You do. But no one would ever trust me again. My parents would handle me with oven mitts. My partner would leave me. It’d be nigh impossible to get a job. I’d wind up in the psych ward. My friends would slowly drift away. I’ve seen it happen to other people. It’s happened in the past to me when I’ve made the mistake of being juuuuust a little honest. If I come fully honest... bad, bad mistake.

Fellow mentally ill people: leave the stigma-breaking to the activist types. Just focus on staying alive and as sane as possible.


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209,469 Some people are so caught up in their thoughts, that they fail to recognize they share the world with others.

My friend died. Not covid related. I've known him forever. We roomed together in college. We constantly hung out in our 20s, mostly trying to pick up girls. In our 30s and 40s we shared the ups and downs of our marriages and children. In our 50s we lamented our aches and receding hairlines. He was my best friend in the world.

A very sad moment, but yeah, he died.

He had long since been divorced. But about a year before he died he had a new girlfriend. I met her once.

As a tribute, I recently posted a few pictures of him on Facebook. Out of the blue I got a text from his girlfriend. She demanded I take down his pictures. She said I have no right to post images of him. I have no right to describe what I thought were his touching final moments.

Like what the hell? This little missy has practically zero history with my friend. Yet she is telling me, his best friend, I can't post his picture. She didn't take the pictures. They are my pictures. Why is she stalking my Facebook page anyway? She's not even my Facebook friend.

I want to be kind and understanding. Her boyfriend died. I'm sensitive to that idea. But this little tart thinks she can tell me how to express my grief about a guy I knew 50 times longer and 1,000 times deeper than she did.

Damn she's not thinking clearly. Some people don't allow for others to exist.


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209,468 I'm a little spooked. I received a friend request from a girl I sort of knew in high school. I don't recall ever hanging out with the girl or even talking to her back then. We probably crossed paths in the hallways or maybe we were in English together or something.

Anyway I received a friend request yesterday and I accepted. She immediately sent me a long message. That could be okay. Perhaps she just happened to be at her computer and she was bored so she rambled on for 10 paragraphs. Not a big deal.

Today she called my cell phone 4 times. I didn't pick up. I have no idea how she even has the phone number. But this is getting a little creepy. Talk about coming on too strong. Crikies.

I never want to be mean to anyone, but really, I need her to forget I exist.

I'm not going to accept any more friend requests.


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209,467 My sister in law is a terrible person. Ug. There are so many stories of the crap she has pulled.

But she works out and is in great shape.

In her mind, this totally justifies her being a bad person. Being physically fit means she's allowed to be haughty and rude to everyone else.

She's so wrong on this point, but doesn't see it.

Oh well. I stay away from her and will continue to do so. She's poison.


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209,466 I really only wear a mask as a cosmetic chin strap.  Lately, it's always under my chin.  If I go in a store or something, I will pull it up, but I can hardly breathe when I'm wearing it, no matter how thin.  Masks almost cut off my breath, no matter what I do.  And another thing, it hasn't come out in any news story yet, but I think it will soon, I think that medical professionals will soon say that masks are causing people to breathe in too much carbon dioxide and harming their health.  It makes sense to me.  We breathe in air, which is then processed in our lungs to remove the usable oxygen, nitrogen, etc. then the carbon dioxide is expelled because it is not life-sustaining and cannot help our organs or tissues, etc.  When we wear masks, we recirculate that carbon dioxide and breathe it over and over again, thereby having less oxygen to breathe.  Masks make us oxygen deprived.  I tell my nurse husband to take his masks (he wears two for work) off frequently so he can breathe fresh air.  Consequences are coming.  I don't know what they will be, but they are on the way.  By the way, my husband, the nurse, hasn't heard of this, but agrees it makes sense.  Anyway, just a heads-up. Remember, you heard it from me first.  


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209,465 I just want to be a good person. I’m not a good person. By nature, I’m pretty awful. It feels like I have to work against who I truly am every second of every day just to be tolerable. Just to be mediocre. I feel so trapped and hopeless and tired.


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209,464 Need to get some strange. I want to be fucked for hours


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209,463 So, what we have here is:
A. Protesters who want to make a point about necessary change.

B. Protesters who feel that disruptive protests are the only way to          effect change.

C. Scumbags who take advantage of the anger and confusion to loot & burn.

The problem is, because of C they all get painted with the same brush.


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209,462 The same folks in charge encouraging the looters and standing down the police will be coming to us all in a few months asking for money. After all the minority communities need opportunity, the hope for advancement, jobs, and a safe place to work.  Yes, I agree all that that is needed.

However, tell me who in their right mind is going to invest time, effort, sweat, blood, and money to invest in a place like that only to hear again in 3-4-5 years the mayors say go on and riot and we will stand down the police so you’re not bothered.  



likes: 1
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209,461 Your mom is getting what she deserves after a lifetime of expecting others to clean up her messes.

Everyone in the family praises her as a saint; but it is clear what god thinks of her selfish ways. She will not be able to say goodbye to her mom because of the selfish woman she has been. God is right, and your family is dumb for worshipping a selfish woman.

I am so happy for her misery.


likes: 0
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209,460 I cannot get the image of George Floyd calling for his Mother as he lay dying out of my mind.  Brings  tears to my eyes.  May the Creator of the Universe be good to him.


likes: 2
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209,459 I miss you so damn much. I literally cry every single day knowing you are done. We are about to have a baby together and you won’t even talk to me. I’m lonely, like beyond words I am so lonely and so in love with you. I want to be able
To tell you “thank you” for this little one I’m about to bring in the world, but you will only throw it back and say I don’t deserve it at all. Why is this really happening?

I don’t want to have another man raise her. She needs YOU.  I have looked up to you since we first met. I don’t trust another man to protect her and I will always be afraid of whoever is in my life touching her or hurting her in some way. I know you won’t. But you won’t even touch me either. Why is this really happening?

You won’t tell me a thing. You won’t answer a message from me. You won’t say one kind word and I don’t understand. Why is this happening?

Why did you choose to make this something I experience in absolute isolation feeling like I will never be okay again? Why wasn’t I good enough to treat with any good will? I miss you so much and you don’t love me. Why is this happening?

Why dont you even care to give me a chance? Why don’t you love me or her? We both need you and you’re right there. Why won’t you have a daughter with me and make sure she is safe by being her daddy? Why did you pretend you cared and then turn around and say you never promised me anything? Why do you let me cry and grieve you when you’re alive and well? Why am I not worthy of your blessing? Why won’t you let my heart go? Why do I live someone who does not love me?

Why did you try to force me to kill my baby? Why do you think I owed it to you? Why don’t you think that’s wrong? Why do you want us both to have never existed?

Why do I feel so fucking empty over you? Why am I bursting with a baby from a person who leaves me this empty? Why don’t you want us? Why do we need you?

I wish you would just love us and quit hurting me so tremendously with your absolute indifference. I wish you wanted your, our daughter. I wish you had us with you now. I wish that you couldn’t let us be away from you. I love you so much and I still just want you to be with me and be her daddy. Please don’t do this. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Please just take it away and love us. Please don’t leave me here knowing you chose not to be here. I don’t know how I will do this without you.

But thank you for the baby. Thank you for giving me something I thought I’d never have. I hope she looks
Like you. It’s the only thing of you I have left and so I thank you.

I love you. Please love me too. Please.


likes: 1
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209,458 George Floyd tested positive for Covid. I see what's coming. The right will try to argue that the cop kneeling on the poor dude's throat isn't what kill him. Instead it was Covid and therefore the cops are innocent. If that happens, even I'm going to protest and break a few windows.


likes: 1
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209,457 My husband wears my reading glasses more than I do. Picture a 225 pound, 6 foot 4 inch guy wearing cat glasses. lol.


likes: 4
comments: 0

209,456 I watched Tiger King. There's no way I would pose with a tiger. I've come to realize I'm a wimp. My wife and kids are much braver than me.


likes: 0
comments: 0

209,455 My husband makes the cringiest noises when we have sex. He doesn't moan deeply like a man - he sighs softly like a woman. Such a turn-off.


likes: 0
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209,453 The most amazing words to come out of the mouth of my soon to be ex-wife. "What was I supposed to do, not sleep with him?"


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209,452 I've been keeping my wife's poor behavior a secret for too long. I don't know why I try to protect her. She's a menace who needs to be stopped. The tipping point was just recently when I realized she has been spinning ugly tales about me to her friends and family. I try to always be a good person. I give. I never take. Her family though hears none of that. They only hear what my wife wants them to hear. It's all lies.

Just in the past few days I've been opening up. I think it's the virus and being confronted by how fleeting life can be. Why waste time being unhappy and protecting the ugliness of bad people?

To that end, I sent this anecdote involving my wife to one of her friends. I'm sure the friend forwarded it to the rest of the gossipers. I'm glad. I want them to know who she really is.

************

I'm know you've heard some awful things about me from my wife. None of it is true. She is desperate to paint me as a bad person to cover up her own actions. Here is a real life story involving my wife, this woman you call your friend. It's pretty disturbing and scary.

When our son was about 6 months old, she was changing his diaper while I was there talking to her. Everything was good. But while he was naked on the changing table, she leaned down and kissed his private parts. I was like, "Whoa, no, you don't do that, no, no, no..." She was instantly mad. She scooped him up and with as menacing a voice as possible she said, "Maybe I'll give him a bath now. I hope nothing bad happens to him in the tub. You know how kids can slide under the water...." She then darted into the bathroom and locked the door. She refused to open it. I could hear her turning on the bathwater. I frantically looked around for that little key thing. It took me about 30 seconds to get one from a drawer. When I finally got the door open, she was sitting on the bathroom floor with our son. She was snickering and sneering in a maniacal way. She was going to get me back for saying she shouldn't be kissing his private parts. And boy did she get me back good. It was like the stuff of horror movies. I have nightmares about it. And do you know, I never let her give any of the kids a bath again. Never. For years afterwards I gave all the baths. Ask her. She'll confirm I always gave the kids their baths, as long as she doesn't realize why you are asking. This is what I've been dealing with. This is your dear friend.


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209,451 Whoever I can find next to fuck me has no idea what they're in for. I need to ride a hard cock so badly and just come over and over everywhere........so deprived


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209,450 I know a woman. During the middle of this mess, her neighbor, an elderly man, turned 100 years old! The woman rose to the occasion. She manged to have 100 colorful balloons delivered and placed on the elderly man's porch. What a ray of light in these dark times. There are good people in this world.


likes: 5
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209,449 Cops are into nurses. They try to date us, marry us, whatever. I couldn’t imagine trusting a cop enough to be married to one.


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209,448 Every bisexual characters in movies cheat. She has a wonderful husband or boyfriend. She cheats on him with a girl and feels zero shame or guilt about what she did. Just once I'd like to see a movie where the girl she likes tries to seduce her, and just as they are about to kiss, she runs away and goes home and tells her man everything. And she tells her best friend that it was just a fleeting crush and she loves her man. And her and her man live happily ever after. I'm bisexual and bi cheaters on movies (and in real life) give us all a bad name.


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209,446 Political Divide.  Pick your side, a shitty Country where no one riots, or a Country with good intentions, but those who oppose hurt, burn, and kill because they disagree.


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209,445 I laugh more and more at married couples.  Stuck together, miserable.  The husband just dying to fuck any other woman!


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209,444 "I am being honest with you. I swear."

Nope, I later found out she was lying.


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209,443 In school we learned it takes six hours for food to make its way through our digestive system. I think that's wrong. I think it takes longer, like a day and a half. Corn tells no lies.


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209,442 I found out I was getting divorced because I woke up one morning and discovered all my husband's family had defriended me on facebook.


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209,441 People see what they want to see, I guess. SMDH.


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209,440 When did minding your own god damned business go out of fashion? Keep your nose out of my affairs.


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209,439 Having a 1 person dance party before work. I'm listening to lady Gaga, Halsey. Miley Cyrus. Good times.


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209,438





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209,437 People who are nice to me make me want to throw up. I don't deserve it.


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209,436 I am so lost without you. My heart hurts so bad.


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209,435 I'm tired of my fears running my life. I want to change so badly. I want to take back control of my life.


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209,434 You sold me soulless weed or at the very least cbd.
I’m sick of this shit. Only real joy I have in life to myself
Thanks a lot Jose


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209,433 There was a mathematician name Neils Abel. While still in his 20s he contracted tuberculosis. Worried he might not survive, he stayed up all night and wrote out all his mathematical theories. By morning he was dead.

Turns out his theories were correct and brilliant.

This virus thing has me thinking. I might not survive. I too feel like I'm figuratively staying up all night and rushing to get my thoughts out there. Only problem, I'm not brilliant like Abel. I know nothing.



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209,432 She abandoned her children during a pandemic. She took off so she could hang out with her friends at the beach leaving her husband and kids behind. Wow. What a POS.


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209,431 I’m a Karen; but I call the police on my redneck white supremacy neighbors and they’re stupid ATVs, illegal dirt bikes.  If you’re playing racist country music at top fucking volume, I’m calling the cops. If you’re playing rap, I don’t call anyone. Just calling the cops on the inbred don’t tread on me assholes down the road.

Harnessing my white girl Karen power for good.


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209,430 I take a pretty good looking photo. I'm just saying. :) I'm usually pleased with the way my picture comes out. I don't have much going for me in life, but at least I'm not hard on the eyes.


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209,429 I’m so glad that your glasses are broken. Definitely not getting you replacements. Just gonna spend five hours in Target the day before and bring you home a card, just like you did for Mother’s Day.


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209,428 I’m an exhibitionist. I love being naked in front of other people. My biggest fantasy is to have sex in front of someone else who just watches us fuck.


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209,427 Sending texts from my “friends” while not allowing me to communicate with them. You are truly an abuser. And if they catch you for all the spying - you’ll lose these kids for good. And I will NEVER allow your fat teen mom and your dumb trumper father ever see these kids again. They don’t deserve them. Neither do you. You will never admit to anything. So I’m just going to leave your ass and make it impossible for your racist family to see your kids.


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209,426 Been putting feelers out there networking in the midst of bullshit at work. Overwhelm and under appreciated to say the least.

Get this text that wasn’t meant for me, but for the hiring guy at an old job. The text read I was on time, know the job, was good at the job and loved it. He’s not wrong. Do you have any friggin idea how badly I needed that text today?

Whatever the outcome, that man is THE MAN.


likes: 2
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209,425 Beautiful, French wife here... waiting...


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209,424 I understand why my finger hurts when it gets burned. It's my body's way of saying pull away. DO SO NOW. It's a good Darwinistic device to keep me safe.

What I don't understand are headaches. Why does my head hurt. I can't pull away to make the pain stop. There is nothing I can do. It hurts and it will keep hurting until it decides not to hurt. The rules of Darwinism should have made heads without pain sensors.


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209,423 My wife turned off the location service on her phone so I couldn't see where she was. I pointed out we are married and spouses need to know where each other are. I asked her to please turn it back on.

She said she doesn't have to listen to me and walked away

I then turned off her phone. I changed the Apple password, the Netflix password, and the Amazon password.

She was furious. She demanded I turn her phone back on and tell her the new passwords.

I said I don't have to listen her and walked away.


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209,422 I love how everyone thinks they are so deep with their Social Media comments.  Like , "This IS THE ONE comment that will make everyone act the same worldwide!!"


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209,421 Damn, Married women can be the worst! We get it, you're miserable , want some side cock, but don't want to leave your secure set up.


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209,420 I have an acquaintance who is, shall I say, not on the bright side. But she is beautiful. Guys hang on her every word. It's laughable. She sees a stick on the ground. She picks it up and says, "Isn't this stick fascinating?"

A chorus of guys are tripping over themselves,

"Yes, it's the most fascinating stick I've ever scene."

"Wow, what a great stick."

"You sure know how to find interesting sticks."

Guys, you are making me sick the way you salivate over her. How about paying attention to women who have something more to offer than blond hair and  big boobies.


likes: 1
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209,419 I still jack off to the nudes you sent me three years ago. They’re so fucking hot. I really wish I had a picture of your cum-covered face.


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209,418 I don't honestly care about your decision not to wear a mask in public, however I do have an issue when you tell essential personnel to take their masks off. If you do this, you are an asshole. Period, end of story, no debate.

I HAVE to wear a mask when interacting with the public for work. It's not optional. It's wear a mask or stay at home for me. If I don't come to work, I don't get paid. If I don't get paid, I don't eat. If I don't eat, I die. And, yet, I've had no fewer than five people tell me THIS WEEK that my mask makes it hard to understand me, makes their child/them uncomfortable, or that I need to stop being a sheep and face them.

Dude. I'm trying to make a living. Weren't you all just protesting about my right to work? Let me work. Let me earn money for my family. If I'm wearing a mask at work, I've accepted that term of my employment. I'm not being oppressed. I can breathe just fine. I don't care how you feel about it, and my team and I will make fun of you endlessly after you leave our office for being a shithead about my mask. Stop telling essential workers to remove their masks. That's literally all I ask.


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209,417 My son has a need to cause as much trouble as possible. Simple things become filled with strife. He asks what's for lunch. I say I can make him a turkey sandwich or a ham sandwich. He says nothing because he sees this as an opportunity to cause trouble. He's going to set me up.

I randomly make him a turkey sandwich and I know exactly what's about to happen next.

When he sees the turkey, he acts all put out and says he wanted a ham sandwich and I never should have made him a turkey sandwich. He's huffy, condescending and sarcastic. You'd think I just set his room on fire so I deserve his wrath. No, I was nice enough to make him lunch, that's what I apparently did wrong..

I ignore him and walk away.

But his mission has been accomplished. He caused a fuss. In his mind he is pleased he caught me once again making a colossal mistake and he was able to call me out on it.

He has a very unfortunate way of dealing with people. I hope he grows out of it. If not, oh well, good luck getting along with others in life.


likes: 0
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209,416 Amazing how many times I've been banned from a Facebook group. I'm not very political at all, which is exactly why I get banned. I have no party affiliation. I approach each issue with an open mind. I ask insightful questions and make helpful suggests. This means sometimes it looks like my response leans left. So I get banned by Republican Admins. Sometimes my response leans right, so I get banned by Democrat Admins.

These days, to make sure you never get banned, only post cat and coffee memes.


likes: 0
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209,415 Never get involved with a friend's marital difficulties. You can sparingly listen to a complaint now and then, but as soon as you start offering advice and opinions, it will come back to haunt you.


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209,414 Happy International Whore’s Day!  To all the sex workers who make life more fun and interesting, Thank you !


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209,413 I have a friend who was tested for the virus. She admitted to me she had no symptoms. Her hypochondriac fears kicked in so she arranged to get the test at a free clinic. There were limited test slots available and she took one. She admits this. I'm disappointed she did this. I can't tell her. But please don't get tested and push others out of the way just to calm your inner fears. She of course tested negative.


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209,412 You think a country like Iraq will attack the US while it’s weak because you’re stuck in 1992. Your views on diet, exercise, health, world politics and political power are frozen in the mid nineties. Like you just stopped reading after halfway into college. It’s sad, because you are absolutely smart enough to understand what’s going on; but you were raised by a teen mom dum dum that had no appreciation for intelligence. I’m real sorry that your fat teen mom has really held you back as a human being. The Midwest handicapped your mind.


likes: 0
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209,411 Why are you still at my house? Go home. 4 days is enough. You fucked up my kitchen, wasted my day off, drank all of my liquor and you won't shut up. I shouldn't be putting up with this kind of shit from a woman that isn't sucking my dick. Please! GO HOME!


likes: 3
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209,410 My boyfriend is convinced that I practiced witchcraft to get him to fall back in love with me after we broke up. I think that's very strange for him to think that. I don't know anything about witchcraft. I am psychic though. I do see things before they happen, but that is not a witch thing.


likes: 0
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209,409 I am bisexual, and I think it's really weird when people try to investigate whether I'm gay or not. You think I don't know why you're asking all of those specific questions? Like I've never done that before to someone? LOL. Look, either do some facebook stalking or just straight up ask. I don't have time for your investigations. If you can't tell from my facebook. then you're a shitty facebook stalker and that's not my fault. Asking if me and my roommate have seperate bedrooms. How obvious could you be? Your investigation skills REALLY need work, Linda.


likes: 0
comments: 0

209,408 Can I add "Pathetic loser" to my resume?


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209,407 I am being cyber bullied and harassed by a 54 year old woman. She’s posted my picture on Facebook with derogatory remarks. My messenger inbox has been flooded with nasty message from people in her camp. Her people have also contacted my employer.

I’ve contacted the police and other than wait for a detective to contact me in 3 -7 days there’s not a dam thing I can do.

Why you ask? Because someone spoofed her a nasty remark with my number.

Crazy huh?



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209,406 20+ years ago I had a job serving the public; a lot of our customers were businessmen. Several coworkers met their husbands at this job. Men from good families and with good jobs. I remember one time my mom asked why I'd never met a good man through work. I didn't know. Back then, according to friends, family and coworkers, I was drop-dead gorgeous. I was thin and fit. I'm well-educated and -traveled, kind and compassionate, a hard worker. Extroverted, energetic and always smiling. I'm talented and speak several languages.

But it just never happened for me like it did for my friends. I've had a string of relationships and two marriages now where I've been nothing but used and hurt. I never found anyone to truly love me.

I'm still friends with some of these coworkers. One just posted a nice picture on social media, so I decided to look through her other photos. Hundreds of photos. Her lovely wedding to a gorgeous man. Her spectacular house and beautiful children at their expensive private schools. Her large group of friends. Her beach house and Range Rover. Countless vacations.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not jealous. I'm so happy for her as she's just a sweetheart of a woman. But I'm just sitting here wondering...as I sit here and look over at my redneck, overweight husband snoring on the couch from too much whiskey and passing gas...where did I go wrong?


likes: 3
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209,405 Everyone around here is getting tested for Covid. I don't want to get tested. If it comes back positive I would die of anxiety. If it comes back negative it doesn't give me any solace because I know I can still catch it tomorrow. Net net there is no upside.


likes: 0
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209,404 No matter how much food I'm served on my plate, I always need to have seconds. It not about how physically full I am, it's about my mind wanting to know I had another helping.


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209,403 My ex was so horrible to me. She was such a bitter angry woman. She turned every situation into hell. She put me down all the time. I lost myself in there. I believed her. For years I failed to see that I was a good person and she was the problem. Years of my life wasted. Guys, don't let this happen to you. Take a step back and ask who the real menace is in your relationship.


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209,402 I'm fucking sick of cops and their tough guy attitudes. The entire country is on to you and your bullshit. I'd like to see the lot of you thrown in jail.


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209,401 When I think someone is ugly, stupid, annoying, too quiet, too loud, or a totally shitty person, I just keep it to myself. I don't get why other people don't do the same. I see ugly people calling people ugly. YOU have the audacity to say someone is ugly? YOU of all people? And people are ok with YOU saying this?? I just don't understand. I would never have the audacity. Or calling people out on their mistakes when you've made a hell of a lot more mistakes than the person you're talking about. And people are ok with YOU saying this? I just don't get it.


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209,400 I feel horrible about myself. My coworkers pretty much think I'm worthless and bad at my job. I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I feel ugly. I feel like my boyfriend wants someone hotter, and that he resents me for being the reason he isn't with someone hotter. He hasn't said or done anything to make me feel this way. I just do. I don't feel worthy of love. Not from him, not from friends, not even from my own family. When someone is nice to me it makes me feel even worse. I automatically reject any kindness. I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever kindness you show me bounces off from me and sticks to you. I can't have it in my head that someone cares. I feel humiliated when someone even says "Hi" to me. I don't deserve to have anyone acknowledge my existence.


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209,399 For a while I was exercising indoors. I'd run in place and use free weights. I've given up though. Why bother. This plague will be with us forever.


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209,398 I miss my ex. I wish I wasn't alone at a time like this. What are the chances of starting a relationship with someone new during a pandemic? LOL. I'd say less than zero.


likes: 0
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209,397 There is no justifying burning, breaking, and physically hurting others.  If you do that, you are scum.


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209,396 Where I live the restaurants were allowed to re-open two weeks ago for outdoor dining. A few of the restaurants abused the privlege. They placed large party tents in their parking lots. Yes, the tents were outdoors, but with the sides down the tents were really an indoor space. I brought this to everyone's attention. I was ignored, and even mocked for being paranoid.

Today, this is two weeks after the party tents starting serving customers, there is a surge of new cases, over a dozen whereas we used to only have one or two a week.

I hate people. They are foolish.


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209,395 Time is passing so quickly. I can't believe I've been sitting alone in this room for three months. Where did all the days go?


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209,394 The coconut cake lady has left the building.


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209,393 My wife left us. She couldn't handle being locked down anymore. As a result, I've been doing the laundry. I kind of figured it out. Well mostly... on the plus side, at least I know my son's iphone is now very clean.....

Oops.


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209,392 Going forward, if I see a product or service advertised on Twitter, I will make a point to never buy it.


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209,391 Not to gloat but your husband is getting fat and going bald. I'm sure it annoys the crap out of you.


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209,390 First the virus, then the riots. I feel like we are playing Jumanji.


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209,389 This is the first time in what must be 25 years where I haven't planted a garden.


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209,388 I support Trump ,but I often wonder if Biden winning will end all of this. The media hates Trump ,the people that loot burn and riot hate Trump.


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209,387 I'm watching the news with all these people running around chaotically. I'm watching my street where there are plenty of people walking their dogs or going for a run. No masks and no one seems to be getting sick anymore. I don't understand. What happened to the virus? Or am I seeing a lag and the new virus cases will start showing up in a few more days? Or could it be true that the virus, like the flu, needs winter conditions to propagate? But now the weather is warm, we are out of the woods?


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comments: 9

209,386 The other day I opened a new bottle of tylenol. I bought it several months ago before the crisis. When I took the lid off , I could see the silver foil covering had already been ripped off. Would you use this? I didn't. But I wonder if I'm being overly paranoid.


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209,385 I can't stand to look at him. His face looks like raw hamburger being eaten by maggots. Does he pick at his zits? If not, should he start?  I avoid him socially because I can't stop staring at his acne.


likes: 0
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209,384 Your mother wouldn’t cry for George Floyd. Your mother wouldn’t get a lump in he throat when she learned that he called for his momma. Your mother would never extend this empathy because she does not see him as human. And I am officially done competing w/your mother. I’m a better human being. My kids will show compassion to ALL people. My son will never utter a racial slur that makes a siblings future spouse cringe because they’re part of the race he’s making fun of. I am a better human being than her. She is a fat ball of selfish nothing. She is a waste of space. She’s not a good person and maybe if you can see that then there’s hope for us. Otherwise, I’m leaving you and taking the kids (because your family is too racist to raise our non white kids).


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209,383 I just created a FaceBook account recently, after ignoring it since its inception.

I found a woman that I remembered from fourth grade. She transferred into our class from a Catholic school around Christmas, and taught the class a Christmas carol in Latin. Her FaceBook page says her teachers are the Buddha, Lao Tzu, and Christ. I thought, "Oh wow...this young girl that I have such a fond memory of has turned into a real spiritual woman. I should "Friend" her."

And so I did.

Well, everyday her FaceBook page is filled with the most vile, nasty, hate-filled, angry, racist shit. Oh my God!

So...I don't know what I'm going to do. Normally I would just break the connection, but I'm sort of fascinated. How does someone who's led such a privileged life justify that level of evil? I feel as though I need to understand this better.    


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209,382 This pandemic has been a horror for all of us but it has taught me many lessons. One lesson learned is weeding out fake friends. I was close with co-workers (or so I thought) going to lunch, having drinks, going to their pool parties, them confiding in extremely personal problems to me, etc. but since we have been on lockdown I have reached out to them via text (when I called I was sent to VM)- I texted how are you, the family, are you ok? etc.; my response “we are fine”, an emoji thumbs up and such never asking how me or my family were doing, etc. I used to organize their surprise parties, would give them gifts, take them to lunch, etc. when they were feeling down. I feel pathetic, a total loser and beyond embarrassed. When we go back to work they will be treated in a professional manner but I’m done. I hate to admit it but this has made me feel so sad. I am a gullible idiot.


likes: 0
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209,381 I'm going to tell him I'm having an affair.


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209,380 Years ago, someone I know - a white cop - and his partners beat the fuck out of a black woman. All she was doing was trying to break up a fight. She has permanent injuries. They all got off because his department settled with the woman. It was covered up, not in the news at all. Even worse? Initially, SHE was hit with multiple charges, including a felony. Funny how she was acquitted of some charges and the others were withdrawn. This is why our country is where it is. How many more incidents like this happen and are swept under the rug???


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209,379 I don’t even want counseling anymore. I just want away from you.


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209,378 Your momma’s so fat that she ate herself into a heart stent.

Your brother’s so fat that he ate himself into diabetes.

Your dad’s so fat that he needs a scooter to get around.

Your stepdad’s so fat he ate himself into diabetes too.

I can’t wait to be done with these idiots for good.


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209,377 Enjoy looking through my iCloud while you have your moment. I hate you.


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209,376 I cloud again just when you get alone. Always. You’re sick. I hate you.


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209,375 Father’s Day present?!?! HA!!!! What did “look for” for me for Mother’s Day?!?!? Jack shit. That’s what you’re getting too. Not even a card from your kid, just like my Mother’s Day. FUCK YOU!!!!


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209,374 Divorcing you will finally give me free time.

I am so done with you.

I hate you. Forever and ever. Goodbye.


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209,373 I didn’t start lifting weights so I could pick you up and fuck you while standing. That’s just a lie I came up with on the spot. The real reason is because I saw my grandfather and he said “you’ve gained weight, been hitting the gym?” and I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was from beer and Chinese takeout. So I said yes. And then started actually going because I didn’t want to be a liar. Sweetheart ily but it has nothing to do with you


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209,372 Whenever my husband rushes me I dip his toothbrush in the toilet bowl.

I only take 5 minutes to get ready. He takes 45. He just loses it if he has to watch the kids more than 5 minutes (which is why I only take 5 minutes to get ready. When he starts ruching me after 2 fucking minutes- toothbrush in the toilet!!! Hahaha hahaha!!!!


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209,371 I have a daughter who doesn't like nuts. When I make cookies or banana bread or anything with nuts, I have to make a separate nut free rendition just for her. It's a pain in the butt. I strongly suspect she likes nuts just fine. But she likes causing a problem and making drama even more. My apologies to the man who one day marries her.


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209,370 There are no protests where I live because this place is filled with bigots.


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209,369 Oh my god. I haven't had dreams with this much sexual tension in them for ages. Just you wait for july. I hope you catch my drift when I see you next.


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209,368 "I had an absolutely delicious dinner at [restaurant name]; I had Tuna Tartare and Steak Tartare."

Think! Now is not the time to be eating uncooked food from a restaurant! You don't know how many people have exhaled near your dinner before you ate it!

Eat only hot cooked food from a restaurant, it kills any possible contamination.


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209,367 My brother is a little shady. He's gotten in trouble in the past. He ended up in a bad way financially a few years ago. To help him out I lent him one of my cars for few years. When he finally returned it, the car had incredible fancy tire rims. I checked them out. They cost about $2,000 each. I strongly suspected they were stolen. I joked with him about it. He laughed and said yeah, don't ever drive the car in Florida. Welcome to my family.


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209,366 Here's my theory on this virus. I think it has been airborne all along. That's why it whacked New York City so hard. All those people passing through Grand Central and the subway breathed it in. Instantly several hundred thousand were infected.

But behind the scenes more was happening. Minute amounts were being inhaled by people on the sidewalks and in the parks. Not enough to make them sick, but enough that their immune systems started making anti bodies.

Now we are two months later. The virus is slowing down. All those states and countries are open and there are no large outbreaks. I think it's because many of us are now immune. Even though we were never sick, we were exposed to just enough of a viral load to make a natural defense.

This explains why they found antibodies in half the people of Boston even though only 2% were actually ill.

It also addresses he enigma of asymptomatic spreaders. I don't think there are people who are spreading without symptoms. Doctors think there are because they are finding many people with anti-bodies who were never sick. They assume these were people unknowingly spreading the disease. I go the other way. I think the sick spreaders were spreading. These asymptomatic types are just people who developed anti-bodies.

Given all of the above, I think, I pray, this will soon be over. We might survive afterall.


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209,365 My bf loves Genesis. Genesis sucks if you ask me...when he blasts it I quickly find earplugs to prevent the audioassault that is inevitable.  I love older guys, but I can do without the Genesis...


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209,364 I am going to leave you and never have to speak to your stupid fat relatives ever again.

You bring out the worst in me.

I am a slave here.

Your mother will not see these kids for awhile, if ever again.


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209,363 For some reason I feel calmer today. First time in a long time. Maybe I'm getting used to the constant fear. Or maybe this damn plague is finally quieting down. Or maybe the news is now more focused on riots than death and so I'm not being overrun with death death death stories.

Whatever. I never want to experience anything like this again.


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209,362 I have a reoccurring dream where I get pulled over by the cops and I don't have my license on me, so I get a ticket. I don't know why this theme keeps popping up in my dreams. I have never been pulled over in my life. Why is my subconscious mind obsessed with the idea?


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209,361 I surreptitiously monitor the Facebook pages of my wife's siblings to see if they say anything bad about me. It has happened.


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209,360 I hear police sirens.


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209,359 If you’ve ever posted a bikini pic to Instagram, I’ve jacked off to it.


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209,358 My teachers always said I had excellent critical thinking skills. With a dad as manipulative as mine, of course I do!


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209,357 "Body positive" instagram posts make me laugh. You photoshopped your photo so how is that "Body positive"? Even porn is more body positive than instagram will ever be. All different body types are celebrated in porn.


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209,356 My dad was already out of the house when I was born. I was in the middle of a nasty family feud where I was just born into a broken house. My sister moved out with her baby at 16. It’s just been me and my mom all my life.
I’ve been called “the girl” by my own dad to his wife as he told her about dropping me off.
I’ve been called a dirty Indian girl by the same wife.
I’ve been blown off by my dad on several occasions.
Now that the epidemic started in March, I have not seen my dad in three months. His wife’s two children that he chose over us aren’t going grocery shopping for him. He’s 65 and has had a heart attack before (which was caused by his identity fraud getting caught, but that’s a different story), and shouldn’t be outside. He lives in the suburbs and I would drop stuff off for him but there’s no guarantee he’d be the only one to eat it. That wife can fuck off. Fucking selfish bitch. She’s younger than him.

I was already beginning to accept that he is who he is but now i realize that he really is the same as the villain in my sister’s stories....

Yet I can’t help but think to myself that he’s wonderful to my sister’s kids...but an awful dad.

You can be a horrible dad but an awesome grandfather I guess.

I am glad my boyfriend isn’t anything like him.


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209,355 Whenever there is any major police brutality incident in this country, my local police always posts a picture with cute puppies, or hugging autistic children, or doing a funny dance. As if THAT'S going to prove you're different from the other cops. Newsflash, buddy. Autistic children hate hugs. My rapist ex boyfriend used to make people laugh all the time. Even the Nazis had cute puppies. Want me to believe you're different? Why don't you protest alongside the people. Teach your local police deescalation tactics. Speak out about the injustice instead of just defending someone just because they work in law enforcement because you're afraid of what you're cop friends might think.


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209,354 I think my son broke up with his girlfriend. He hasn't mentioned her in a week and he's not on his phone texting all day. I'm glad.


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209,353 My daughter buys herself whatever she wants using my Amazon account. She was at a friends house and was served coffee from some special coffee machine which uses coffee packs. She decides she has to have one too. Doesn't matter she has no job. Doesn't matter her college costs are wiping out my savings. She wants a new coffee machine. So she orders one on Amazon. Plus she needs refill packs. Plus she needs new sunglasses too because you can't drink coffee without wearing new sun glasses. And like that, she bought $250 worth of presents for herself. Lucky me, I get to pay the credit card bill. She has this ongoing sense of entitlement where she takes whatever she wants. She is every bit her mother's daughter and I hate it.


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209,352 I want to get a therapist for my anxiety. Then I want to tell my therapist how bad my anxiety is. But I know that if I do, I’ll be involuntarily committed to a psych ward... and my reputation and career are shot.

Fuck. Fuck!! Fuck.


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209,351 I ate all the hamburgers in the fridge. It was me. It was 3 in the morning and I couldn’t sleep. Eating makes me feel better. I’m sorry. I know you were really looking forward to having those for lunch.


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209,350 I keep getting harassed by this Indian , Muslim whatever he is. He just doesn’t get it , I’m not interested he it’s not my type , I don’t care how intelligent he claims to be or how wealthy his family it’s , he it’s just repulsive. He online stalks me non stop . Any tips on how to get rid of this obnoxious pest ?


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209,349 Did Trump cause all the bad going on?

I'm not so sure. More and more I think it's the media exaggerating their stories and inciting hatred in people.


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209,348 My period blood smells like coffee. No, I do not drink coffee often.


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209,346 If you are white, don't go overboard trying to kiss ass. believe me, you're the enemy . think of it is a nice bonus if anyone black is nice to you.


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209,345 When the Irish get together there is nothing they enjoy more than forming a secret society. From the Whiteboys to the Catholic Defenders, from Ribbonmen to the Molly Maguires, to today's IRA and UVF, clandestine societies have been a defining aspect of Irish history.

If you get four Irishmen together,  it is said you will have five cabals, six conspiracies, seven secret handshakes, a dozen blood oaths and at least two feuds.

That sounds like an exaggeration until you start reading Irish history, especially that of the North. If anything, those numbers are conservative.


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209,344 Never trust anything an alcoholic says. A large number of newspaper reporters are alcoholics.


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209,343 All over a bounced check ᖟᶐ໘


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209,342 You are so into health. You exercise throughout the day. You have your own Youtube channel promoting fitness. You regularly scold people for not pursuing your high level of rigor and health maintenance.

And every night you get drunk.

Do you see the conflict or is the truth too inconvenient?


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209,341 We've had an alarm system in our house for many years. We never turn it on. Until this past week. Now we turn it on when we go to bed at night. The world is getting scary.


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209,340 I wonder if parents will even again name their newborn girl "Karen". I think the name is a goner.


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209,339 "Seating limited to no more than eight guests per table."

Really? That's how you are going to stop the virus? By only having eight people sitting together?

Morons.


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209,338 I'm minutes from your house, do I risk a drive by in hopes of catching a glimpse of you?


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209,337 The most hateful, racist types in my town are now posting memes saying love, peace, Black Lives Matter, and we should all just get along.

LOL. I think they are scared. All their years of bigoted comments might catch up to them as rioters look for white people to target. So they are trying to make out like hey yeah I'm with you brother.


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209,336 There seems to be two ways of thinking about this thing:

1) Try to coexist with the virus. It's time to end the shut downs. Go out. Live your life. Eat, drink and be merry.

2) Stay home. Shelter in place until the virus is eradicated completely.

With the first option, many will get sick over time. 2% of the population will die. It means one person on your block will die. A few people at work will die. A teacher in your child's school will die.

With the second option, no one will die. I'm in this camp. With a little will power and self control, we can make the world virus-free again.

I will not accept a solution where people lose their life because selfish sheep claim they need a haircut, or need to eat at a restaurant. No, you don't need those things. Put on your big boy pants. Stop whining. Get some moral character and do the right thing.

I'm afraid I'm greatly in the minority on this though. I'd say 90% or more of the people I communicate with are all about getting the party started.

With all this in mind, I think things are about to get much worse. We are about to go through a year of hell.


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209,335 I feel like there's a boogie man outside my door. I have not gone out in months. I keep all the shades down so he can't see in.


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209,334 I think medical advice gets this wrong. When you have a fever, the thought is to take a fever reducing medicine to bring your temperature down. I think it should be the opposite. If you have a fever, get under a wool blanket and make yourself ever hotter.

Your body creates a fever as a defense mechanism. Raising your temp to 102 degrees helps kill the invasive germs. Give your body a hand. Get under the blanket and get your temp up to 104 degrees. Kills the germs faster and more effectively.

Of course, be careful, don't get your temp too high, like 106. But do get it as high as possible while staying safe.


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209,333 I think there will be a Nobel Prize for whoever finds the vaccine.


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209,332 In a few months I'm slated to move back to England. This has been in the works for three years. For one thing I don't know how I'm going to get there. I have another problem. My plan was to sell all my furniture. I don't see how that's bloody possible anymore. No one is going to want to come into my apartment and buy used items. I think I have to leave it all behind and the next person to move in here is going get thousands of dollars worth of great antiques.


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209,331 I don't give a rat's ass about CoVid-19 anymore.
I started out following orders like a good little soldier, because I wanted to do my part yada yada yada.
Now I just don't give a crap anymore, for better or for worse. I practice social distancing but that's pretty much been the story of my life from Day 1 so that's not hard to stick to.
Other than that, I live my life the way I used to, pretty much. It's not that I don't believe in CoVid-19, it's just that after 2.5 months of stay-at-home and near-constant media fear-blitz, my brain can't cope with the way things are now.
So fuck it and Inch'Allah. Whatever will be, will be.


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209,330 I think my wife recorded me yelling at her. She set me up. I think she intentionally said something awful knowing it would upset me and get me to yell. She said I was was a bad father to our kids. Very untrue. She said it to hit a nerve. She's a terrible mother. I'm the one who takes care of them while she goes out all the damn time and gets drunk with her party friends. Whatever. Yes I yelled at her. But secretly recording your spouse as a revenge tactic is very low. It shows exactly why I don't like her and why she doesn't deserve to have a husband at all.


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209,329 With everything opening up again, my daughter's high school has suddenly decided to have an in-person graduation ceremony. Students, family and friends are invited. There are typically about 1,000 people in the audience. I personally feel this is very unwise. My daughter won't be going. She's worked all these years to graduate, but no way, she's not going to risk getting sick so she can pick up her diploma in person. They can mail it to her.


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209,328 My children don't appreciate me. It has become very obvious in recent months as we spend shut down time together. They will both head off to college in a few months. I think I'll sell the house, move away, and live my life for me for a change. They can fend for themselves from now on.


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209,327 'When The Looting Starts, The Shooting Starts'

I think Biden is a racist. Several times I've heard him make reference to racial phrases. He used the word "the". More than once. It turns out back in the 1960s there was a racist in Tennessee who also used the word "the". What more proof do you need? Biden should resign.


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209,326 200 businesses destroyed overnite in Minn./St Paul.    Many family owned (by immigrants).   Nice job people!

Also, interesting to note - among the “protesters” (trouble makers) - not one had on PPE or was physical distancing.   Hopefully, COVID will help take care of some of the unrest - we can only hope.


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209,325 China beat this thing by first insisting residents wear masks. Then everyone was locked everyone inside for months.Once the new case count dropped to zero, the country re-opened. They now have things under control enough where they can isolate the occasional outbreak.

The US approach was to first tell us not to wear masks. People were locked inside, except you could go out for whatever you wanted. Once our new case count reached an all time high, we re-opened.

See some glaring differences?


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209,324 I want to commit myself to a mental hospital - or at least start receiving real treatment for myself, but I live with my landlord’s son, and I’m worried my landlord will try to evict me if they find out


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209,323 My state has decided to stop posting the covid-19 data. The state re-opened a few days ago. Of course many residents are interested in seeing if new cases are going up. So what does the state do? It refuses to tell us.

YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

We are being played. The powers that be want to open for money reasons. An increase in new cases will interfere with their plan. So they are hiding the numbers. They want us to sacrifice our lives so they can profit.

This is sickening. What a fucked up country we live in. Holy shit. The history books are going to have a field day with this. Corporate greed is leading to YOUR death. I can't believe this is happening.


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209,322 When I was growing up, my mother was a SAHM. On the side, she was a writer, mostly poetry. Some of her things were published, but she could never get anyone to publish her manuscript. I remember her sitting at her typewriter making revisions every time she got a rejection letter from a publisher.

I was a pretty good writer in my own right. In grade school I entered some contests and ended up winning First Place. I guess my mother saw this as her Golden Ticket. When it came time to choose a high school, she pushed for me to apply to a prestigious one in our county. She'd heard that there was an essay required as part of the entrance exam, so she ended up writing one herself and making me memorize it. As it turned out, the essay topic was vastly different from the one she'd prepared, but I did a good enough job on it myself to be accepted into the school.

Every once in a while she'd tell me that I'd won an essay contest - one I hadn't entered - and there was a ceremony we had to attend. What she was doing was entering these contests under my name. Some of these had small monetary prizes, which of course I never was given, but others were basically for recognition.

Then it was time to start thinking about college. I was interested in nature and the environment, and wanted to major in something pertaining to that. But no...she wanted me to major in Journalism. While I was (and still am) a great writer, I wasn't interested in that at all as a profession. It became a HUGE fight. So much so that at the beginning of senior year, when recruiters visited our campus, I went right up to one of the military recruiters and signed up.

It wasn't until recently, when going through my now-dead mother's things and I found her old manuscript, that I figured it out. The reason she entered "me" into all this contests and wanted me to go into Journalism is so that I'd be able to help her get her story published one day. Also, and I don't want to go into specifics, but I learned that she told some pretty hefty lies in order to get me on a "hardship" scholarship for my high school. We could very well afford the tuition, but she didn't want to pay it. She wanted the prestige of me going to this school so it would look good on college applications. Pretty shitty to use your child like that.

My hope is that one day I can make an anonymous donation to my old high school to make up for the tuition that she essentially stole for her own means.


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209,321 It's all coming to a head.  Bout to escalate to a Race War.


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209,320 I can't do this much longer. I could see ending my life. I'm in a constant state of fear. I want to burst out crying all the time. This isn't living anyways. The potential of getting this virus has made me a prisoner in my own home. For how long? It could be many more months. It could be a year. I can't hang on that long. There are a few other people here with me, but I spend most of my time hiding in my bedroom and talking to my demons.


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209,319 I won't be voting in November. No way I'm going to a polling place. Hell no. I wouldn't even risk touching a mail-in ballot.

Your vote hardly counts. There will be literally tens of millions of other votes. Your vote will change nothing. Now we have the idea I can risk my life to cast a vote that doesn't count... no thanks.

Bet I'm not alone in this way of thinking.


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209,318 Everyone talks about songs they sang along to when they were  kids, that they had no idea about were about sex. I'm kind of the opposite. There are quite a few songs I heard as a kid that I thought were about sex, but it turns out they weren't. I was even embarrassed to sing along to them in front of my parents!


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209,317 When I was younger, I would see people at my school wearing the Jamaican flag, or maybe it was the Rastafarian flag, or some variation the flag that bob Marley has. Anyway, I always confused it with the gay pride flag. I didn't realize until later on that the gay pride flag was the rainbow flag. I noticed all the pot smokers at my school wear wearing that stuff. So I thought they were all gay, and I basically grew up thinking that most gay people smoke pot, and I thought that maybe they use it to cope with how society treats them. Anyway, I just googled the rastafarian and Jamaican flag and I could have sworn it had more colors on it?? I know what the rainbow flag looks like, but I met someone with earrings and he say they were rasta, and it had pink and blue on it. hahaha I guess I'm just dumb lol. I also thought Bob Marley was gay or bi.


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209,315 note to self: the Midwest is more racist than the south.

Southern minority communities at least seem a little happy. Midwesterner minorities seem hidden and sad.

Midwesterners are just meaner people.


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209,314 I think solar panels on a house roof are incredibly ugly. You might be paying less for electricity, but you are sacrificing the beauty of your home.


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209,313 Sure you can loot target and steal a flat screen TV. But think ahead. TV's are now internet devices. You plug in the device and the manufacturer will know exactly where it is and you will be arrested with stolen evidence in your home.


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209,312 I am in so much emotional pain it feels like laughter is the only way to cope. Please don’t let me resort to anger; it’s not real. It’s a fake secondary feeling.


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209,310 Do you have any idea how many times I could’ve cheated on you and gotten away with it but didn’t? Chose not to do it even though every part of me was screaming YES? And then you go make a makeout vid w someone from work for 50 bucks? I said yes go ahead because I wanted to be the good supportive feminist bf but goddamn I’m still kind of annoyed about that


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209,309 I don’t have sex dreams often. I make them up because they turn you on. Plus it’s my way of testing the waters for new things I want to try. If I describe something in a “dream” and you react positively I know I can press further, if not, then not. Works quite well


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209,308 My first relationship lasted four months between 8th and 9th grade. I still think about C. Guess the first love never leaves you, even when you’re a kid.


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209,307 Something that still makes me laugh: I was at a party and my friend was talking about his weightlifting routine. He’s pretty skinny but super wiry - all muscle. One of our friends, cute and totally shitfaced, floated over. “Oh you workout?” Feeling his arms, chest. “Wow, I workout too... I’m like, SO slim thick. Like I’m SOOOOO thick.” It was so obvious and so painful to watch it was hilarious. She didn’t even SEE him shirtless - just the talk of working out was enough. We laughed about it after she stumbled away.

Women are just as horny and objectifying as men. They just do a better job of hiding it. Plus men let’s be honest most of us don’t put much effort into our appearance. If we did... hmm. Think about that.


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209,306 I’m going to be honest - sometimes I go to your Instagram and think “should I have broken up with you?” And then I remember that after I broke up with you, you started sending me long, detailed, obscene descriptions of your one-night stands to try and make me feel jealous.

And every so often I’ll hear about you getting smashed every weekend and then bedded by some hot rando from a bar. Our few mutual friends say you... uh, are quite promiscuous. If that’s what brings you happiness, that’s fine. I wish you happiness. I do. Not bullshitting. Cool. Have fun. But then I remember those texts and I think... Yeah, I made the right choice.


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209,305 I’m starting to think that my friend is sharing what I write with my ex. They’re friends. My ex and I don’t speak anymore. I’m going to pretend I don’t know and just write for both of them. It’ll be a good exercise. We’ll see if I can pull it off.  


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209,304 “I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep. I just can’t sleep I don’t know why. I only sleep a few hours a night. I can’t sleep.”

I’m no doctor, but let me guess why:
-you wake up at noon every day
-you plop down in Your Chair, balance your laptop on your belly, and scroll thru Facebook for... 4 hours?
-no physical activity whatsoever
-you eat like shit all day
-after dinner, more Facebook
-two C-tier action movies
-lay in bed at 2 am
-watch YouTube on your phone, full brightness, full volume, until 4

You don’t have a medical condition. You’re just kind of a slob.


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209,303 I took an aspirin the other day. It smelled a little funky. I took it anyway. I mean, it's aspirin. Can't really go wrong there. A little while later I thought maybe I should check the expiration date. You wouldn't believe it. The aspirin expired in July of 1999. I really need to clean out my medicine cabinet.


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209,302 I've been sending nice emails to people I haven't spoken to in a while. I've decided to give up all my grudges. It feels good to unburden myself from all that nonsense.


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209,301 I've been text flirting for a few months with two women. Both are married. I could sense they were interested. Last week I told each that my wife is no longer in the picture, that she ran away from home (actually I threw her out), and they have now been texting me twice as much. I don't know if I'll try anything with them. But boy, it sure feels good to have women at least interested in me again.


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209,300 I like when the New York Times refers to the medical organization as The WHO.  Pinball Wizard pops into my head. Makes me laugh. Laughing is good at times like this.


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209,299 Anyone interested in starting a new country? We ban all the politicians. We ban all the trolls. Only helpful good-natured people allowed.


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209,298 A shit leopard can’t change its spots...or is it just that a shit leopard WONT change its spots?


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209,297 "A contingent of House Republicans continues to defy the recommendations of public health experts and Congress' top physician to wear face coverings to limit the spread of Covid-19, refusing to wear them on the floor of the chamber, in the hallways of the Capitol or when chatting with aides and colleagues -- even when they're unable to maintain a social distance.

Some members say they will wear masks in more crowded locations, like in airports, on airplanes and in grocery stores. And others flatly refuse to wear them at all."

Let's see. There are 100 Senators, 435 Congressmen, plus 1,000 or so staffers. That's about 1,500 people in the Capital building.

Isn't that a crowded space?

What BS. They aren't wearing masks because they making death political. This is insanity.


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209,296 Eventually everyone hates me. You know why? Because I want to do things properly. I follow rules. People hate the guy who follows the rules. Everyone eventually wants to break a rule. They want to lie to their employer, or a police officer, or a spouse. They want to leave the store and not tell the cashier she gave back too much change. They want to keep the money in the wallet they found on the sidewalk. They want to look at the coworkers iphone to see if there are any naked photos. I'm there suggesting they don't. I always try to do the right thing. No one wants to hear the about the right thing from me. Not one likes the stick in the mud. Sucks to be me.


likes: 4
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209,295 Just over two weeks ago I had to throw out a large garbage bag. There was a dumpster nearby. Alrighty. I just happened to have a pair of gloves with me. I put them on. I opened the big sort of plasticky lid. I had to raise it up like two feet so the garbage bag would fit. I was so careful to not come in contact with dumpster, other than my gloves touching the lid. I carefully lowered my garbage inside. Done. I then foolishly let go of the plastic lid and .... whooosh. A blast of rotten dumpster stank blew right in my face. Fuck me. Who knows what was in that dumpster. It could easily be tainted with virus and I just managed to blast the air in my face. I could have cried.

I have been anxious these last two weeks. Whenever I thought about my stupidity in dropping the lid, I'd get scared.

Thankfully though, two weeks are now up. I think I'm in the clear. Am I the only one going overboard with worry? Or is everyone on edge?


likes: 0
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209,294 My teenager's bedroom smells awful. It's stinky and sweaty. I coax him to take a shower. He ignores me. Grosssss. Why are boys like this?


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209,293 Me and my best friends can facetime for up to 8 hours a day (since in quarantine and being furloughed.) We fall asleep together sometimes on the phone. We have sex with eachother and it isn't weird. We've known eachother for a decades. We can spend a week together and the next week just facetiming.
I've had these kind of relationships my whole life and Im scared that because of that, I will never have a real relationship, because this is comfortable and I don't know how... but I really want to know true love. I feel unlovable in a romantic true love aspect.


likes: 1
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209,292 I have more anxiety about going back to normal than I do about being in quarantine!


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209,290 I'm even afraid that getting tested for Covid --- where I have to be close to a nurse so she can swab me --- will get get me infected. She's been around many infected people and I'm suppose to removed my mask in front of her. No way.


likes: 0
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209,289 Wow, alot of you husbands really want me to fuck your wives.


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209,288 So glad that President Trump is cracking down on the anti-American and suppressive socialist Twatter and Farcebook.  

This is not China, Mr. Zuckerberg and Mr. Dorsey and you’re about to be be torn a new asshole.  Haha.


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209,287 Even criminals are doing better in life than I am. Nobody at my job thinks I have what it takes.


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209,286 I hate when I have a fresh clean hole and then have to dirty it up by shitting. Hate it!


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209,285 Please stop posting memes about coffee. You post half a dozen a day. I get it. You like coffee. Surely there must be something else you can talk about. No? Then what a pathetic individual you are.


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209,284 I have money in the bank. No stocks or anything. Just cash money in the bank. I own no real estate. I stopped working years ago. I have food in the pantry and lots of it. I am just sitting back and browsing the internet to see what's going on outside my locked doors. I will not physically venture out. I think it's getting more and more insane out there. From a safe distance in my little secure lair, I'm going to watch the world implode.


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209,283 I think my wife wants to be a super spreader. The other day she needlessly was in contact with a group of people. One of them was sick (and has since died). They spent hours together indoors. I told my wife she couldn't come back home. She needs to go isolate. So what did she do? She called a female friend and stayed there for the night. This female friend, like me, is very cautious about social distancing. She has been in her apartment alone for months without seeing anyone. But she allowed my wife in the other day. I was surprised.

Today I spoke to the female friend by phone. Turns out my wife  failed to tell the female friend about the possible exposure. The female friend is now beside herself with angst. She is horrified my wife failed to mention the risk.

The next night my wife stayed with her sister and half a dozen other people. Today my wife went shopping at a few stores. She is now heading to another friend's house for the afternoon, picking someone up, and they are both heading to the sister's house.

My wife is the textbook example of what not to do. Her idea of self isolation is to see as many people as possible. She is so damned pigheaded. No one can tell her what to do, even if it's an extremely serious matter. I would think her actions are illegal. She's knowingly putting people at risk and to make it worse, she's not explaining any of this to the people she's seeing. She's your worst nightmare of what selfish idiots can do.


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209,282 I live in Colorado, just south of Denver in Arapahoe County.  A friend was taken to jail yesterday for a silly warrant, the county jail here is notorious for its austerity, horrible-beyond-belief food, cruel officers, and for being where the Aurora theatre shooter, James Holmes; resided up until his sentencing in Canon City. So my friend is a guy and is there currently...know who else is there right now? Alex Ewing, aka the Hammer Killer. Look it up. He just got extradited here on a grisly and unthinkable murder and rape case from 1984.  He is someone this county has wanted very badly for a long time. And my friend is in jail with him. I know he is in ad seg and all...but crap man. If I were booked into jail with that guy I’d feel pretty icky about it and probably wouldn’t sleep a wink during my time there. This case made my stomach lurch and made me even more afraid of the night.  It’s a shame Ewing wasn’t extradited until the same time the death penalty was repealed here. He has no purpose on this earth and I hope he never has a day of rest for all of eternity, and of course; I hope the friend who is locked up there isn’t somehow in the same cell as this sicko...


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209,281 Do people ever sit there and think, "Life is hard enough. I will try not be awful to them and make it even harder for people"? I guarentee none of my coworkers have ever said this to themselves.


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209,280 A new coworker was nice to me yesterday. Guess she hasn't learned the status quo yet. Only a matter of time before she starts torturing me to fit in with everyone else, or quits. Why don't I just quit? Because I'm not ready to go to another workplace and have this happen to me all over again. Guess I could go on unemployment for the rest of my life, or kill myself.


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209,278 I think minorities in Minnesota are using the death of that black man as an excuse to loot the stores. I doubt they care that  guy died. That just want to help themselves to a free flat screen TV. Sorry I'm jaded, but that's what I think.


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209,277 Today Trump was mocking a reporter for wearing a mask.

For real.

Okay everyone, we have to get this imbecile out of office. 100,000 Americans have died already. WTF is wrong with this macho asshole? I'm stunned at how immature he is. Stunned. I voted for him. I've met him. If anything, I should be biased in his favor. But he has lost me entirely. We have to get rid of him.


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209,275 When we were growing up, my dad was a much better cook than my mom. This constantly made my mom angry.

Whenever I'm out with friends for dinner and someone says their meal tastes good, I get this Pavlovian type response in my head where I cringe and expect an argument to start.


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209,274 I hate how Washington has turned this into politics. What a bunch of losers, all of them.

I also hate how the press gets so excited when there is more bad news. What awful gossips they are. They love a bad story.

So many ugly people in this country.



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209,273 There's a difference between good intentions and good outcomes.


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209,272 As soon as someone says "facism", I ignore him and think, "Oh, he's one of those conspiracy kooks."


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209,271 My clit is throbbing I’m so excited. I wish my husband would suck it until I explode on his face. Sigh...


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209,270 For the last few weeks, I’ve been convinced that a woman I’m crushing on has been crafting her instagram stories towards me. I just realized she doesn’t even follow me anymore. I feel silly, but also a little amused at my narcissism. Why would I assume that she feels the same way? To her, I’m just some rando she kinda-sorta knows. Of course she doesn’t follow me. She probably doesn’t even care to see if I watch her stories. And that’s okay. Is this growing up? Is this maturing?


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209,269 Two words for those with short memories:   Jussie Smollett


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209,268 When I floss, my fingers get in my mouth. My brain screams at me, "Danger danger!". Nothing I can do about it except scrub my hands several times before I floss. Still makes me nervous though.


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209,267 The Michigan Governor passed guidelines requiring residents to stay inside for Memorial Day weekend. Her husband thought this should apply to him. He called a marina and insisted his boat be put in the water and made ready for the holiday. The boat yard refused. The husband then tried to pull rank and pointed out he was the husband of the Governor.

How crass. How abusive of his position.

At first I felt bad for his wife. This husband sounds like a dick.

But now the Governor is claiming her husband was only joking.

Okay, you lost me there lady. How did that work, he thought he'd play a joke on some guy he doesn't know working at a marina? This was his plan?  Or does it make much more sense he believes rules are for other people he thinks he has special privileges?

I think the Governor is lying to cover up for her husband. Says a lot about both of them. Peas in a pod. Vote her out of office.


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209,266 I played Scrabble with my wife last night. She can't spell. I didn't say anything though. Challenging her misspelled words would make her mad. This would translate into no sex for a week. I swallowed my pride and lost the game. In return she will swallow my cum. Life is all about trade-offs.


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209,265 I believe more and more people are having suicide thoughts. What are our choices? 1) Stay inside for what will likely be years. 2) Or get sick. 3) Or suicide. I think this is slowly occurring to people.

I'm a loner and introvert. I've been mostly inside and alone already for years. You get used to it. It is survivable. Getting sick is often not and sounds nasty as hell. And suicide is definitely not survivable.

But yeah, staying solo and indoors is actually okay. If nothing else we will have a safe front row seat to what will be the greatest change to humankind in history. It will be a good show. The macho types will get sick and die while pounding their chests. The sheep will go along for the ride and die. Chaos will rule.

When it's over, the few of us remaining can move into the abandoned house of our choice, free of charge. Want a beach house in Malibu? Take two. Want to drive some dead guy's Ferrari? Enjoy.

Life will be good because all the extroverts will be gone.

World, version 2.0


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209,264 Just checked the Spam folder on one of my emails. All of a sudden, this past week, I've gotten tons of emails saying to purchase Bitcoin and send it to an address. If I don't, then my private videos and pictures on my computer as well as a list of all the porn sites I visit will be sent to 11 people on my contact list.

I'm not worried, as I don't have any pictures or videos, and I don't visit porn sites. But the weird thing is the emails aren't addressed to me by name. They're addressed by an old password to a social media site I haven't used in years. WTH


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209,263 Last year I worked for a company in the fields of scientific research for the military. Great company and I fucking loved it. It was one of the best times of my life... better than the job I was holding before that. Made 15k more a year too. People loved the work I did

But I got hit with layoffs 11 months in... Budget cuts they said...7 other people got laid off too...

I had to go back to my old job. Took a 6 an hour pay cut too. I had to take out a bank loan just to stay afloat.  I applied to numerous other places afterwards but no response.. even places with high pay that I was clearly qualified for.  Still nothing. I guess if you lasted less than a year you fucked up pretty bad according to other companies.  

Im gonna call the HR guy at my old job and simply ask if I'm eligible for rehire.  There is another similar position up that I'm qualified for in a different department.  If I'm eligible for rehire then I didnt blow my chance of success and maybe I can do something worthwhile in my life.

If not then I fucked up spectacularly and probably fucked up any chance of doing similar work again.  

Ill call today and update.


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209,262 I am very glad that everyone’s going back to work. I need this virus to reach my in laws in rural America. Perhaps it’s better if it hits rural areas in the fall when the flu is here too.

If this virus kills my in laws, maybe there’s hope for my marriage.


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209,261 I think my friend is schizophrenic. He told me that his girlfriend was faking a pregnancy and that she threatened to kill his brother. A day later he messaged me and said it was all just a misunderstanding. All she said was that her period hadn't come yet and he was paranoid that it meant she was faking a pregnancy to trap him. He is constantly saying that people are trying to kill him or his brother.


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209,260 During quarantine, I only thought about suicide once every couple of weeks, at the most. Now, it is back to every 2 seconds. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. My coworkers are so awful and I do not feel comfortable around them at all.


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209,259 Do bosses ever stop and think "Maybe I should fire the person who bullies everyone and has made six people quit?".


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209,258 It's only a matter of time before my ex boyfriend comes out as transgender. I honestly wish him well. I mean, I wish HER well.


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209,257 My coworker thinks I should forgive a whole year's worth of emotional abuse just because she asks me how my weekend was sometimes. She's only asking that because she wants to find out what my weaknesses are to destroy me. Asking people questions with an ulterior motive is not friendship, it's fake. It's like giving someone a blanket with small pox on it, or telling a kid to get in their van because they have candy.


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209,256 It amuses me that my parents think I'm a good person just because I'm not a criminal. At least criminals have to will to live, and are doing something with their lives, unlike me. At least they have a reason to get out of bed in the morning, unlike me. They are 1000 times happier than I am, and have lots of confidence.  At least criminals have goals, and ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISH THEM. Compared to criminals, I'm a pathetic loser.


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209,255 Things turning.  Have not done a demo in weeks. Yesterday 3, and all arranged on the fly with interested parties calling in.


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209,254 I love it when coworkers tried to be your friend and say "Heyyy how's it going?". How's it going?? You caused me immense psychological problems and I have eternal self doubt and I second guess everything I do now because of you.How do you THINK I'm doing??


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209,253 I don't know how to make comments on this site. To post a secret I have to press submit, but to post a comment, I honestly don't know what you're supposed to do.


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209,252 Someone requested a replacement of an old business credit card and send it to another address , what a dumb person now I know where the thief lives since I get notifications of any changes into my account.


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209,251 Not trying to pile on the Central Park woman but two things stuck out in that encounter and subsequent revelations.

1.  She said to the man, "I am going to tell them there is an African-American man threatening my life".  Yes, the man was black.  Yes, she mentioned his race twice on the phone.  When she spoke to the man, she told him that she was going to mention his race.  I read that as an implicit threat.  Her belief/knowledge that the police would react in a certain way knowing that she was reporting black on white crime.

2. She whipped up fake tears on the phone on cue.  She was upset throughout the video but she managed to ramp up her emotions on the call to 911.

Ugh, I am a black conservative who frankly hates the term 'white privilege'.  I know that I've raised suspicion as a 6Ɖ" athletic black male in my youth.  Now nearly 50, I know I'm not as 'scary'.  But at the same time, the way she KNEW what words to use to elicit the maximum response was frightening.

Ask her everyday for the past two years if she was racist, she could honestly say no.  On Memorial Day though, she knew what well to draw upon to her advantage.  Rethinking my approach towards white privilege...


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209,249 When I was in 9th grade there was this competitive poetry summer camp I wanted to go to so fucking bad. SO bad. You had to apply with original work and they rejected a fair amount of kids each year. I was writing poems but didn’t think any of them were any good. As a kid I spent a lot of time on Internet forums and an anonymous user on a literature site posted an original poem about a freshman yearning for a senior girl. I loved it and felt like I’d lived the poem. I copied it and saved it in a word doc on my computer. The night before the camp application was due, I copy-pasted the stranger’s poem into my portfolio and passed it off as my own. One of the camp teachers said it was the best poem she’d read in that year’s applications. The summer camp gave me a leg up getting into a competitive boarding school, and the school helped me get a scholarship to a good college. I never would’ve gotten into my university without the boarding school, and I never would’ve gotten into the boarding school without the summer camp, and I never would’ve gotten into the summer camp without that stolen poem.

Never caught. Not to this day. That was nearly a decade ago and I still feel guilty about it.


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209,248 Your mom ate her way into her heart stent.
Your stepdad are his way into his diabetes, so did your dad.
Pretty soon your mom will have diabetes.

No, I don’t want to recreate any of your mother’s death meals.


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209,247 I'm so insecure that I will tell people I'm insecure about one thing to take the focus off of the thing I'm actually insecure about!


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209,246 If I'm insecure about something, I will go out of my way to avoid that subject at all costs. I even avoid saying things that MIGHT make them think of that subject. Overthinking to the max! My boyfriend is the opposite. He will joke about the things he is insecure about as much as possible. He doesn't insult himself, he'll just find memes having to do with that subject and send them to me, or make jokes having to do with that subject. I find that to be an attractive trait. It's such an alpha thing to do. I think I might start doing what he does, at least a little bit, to see if it makes me feel better.


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209,245 My coworker makes me feel like I'm worthless. I want to kill myself because I have to hear her insult everything I do, and I mean EVERYTHING. I can't even blink without her saying "Why did you just close your eyes and then open them again?". And it's this shit non stop throughout the whole day. When she's not insulting me to my face, she's talking behind my back, She tells people that I said things that I never said. I don't even talk to her at all. I say the words "yes", "no", "alright", "sure" to her and that's all. Yet she has managed to get everyone to hate me with her lies. Six people have quit because of her. I wonder if anyone has killed themselves because of her, or if I have to be the first.


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209,244 My boyfriend went to a video game convention. While he was there, I thought to myself "He's probably cheating on me with some girl in cosplay. "So I turned on some cosplay porn. If he's working and I'm not, I turn on some porn about having sex with coworkers. When he and his friends went to see some strippers, I looked at stripper porn. When he went to the doctors, I started looking at porn about hot nurses. Do I think he's cheating? No. I just get lots of pleasure out of hurting my own feelings. He thinks I should talk to a therapist about this, but I disagree.


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209,243 Please just go away.

Everything runs smooth until you get home.

Please just stay away until bedtime, maybe after. You’re just in the way creating extra work.

None of my other kids lose the remote. I hate that you’re my fourth child. It is so much easier when you’re not home.


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209,242 I literally have not watched TV in probably 10 years. I'm either working or on the internet. But because of everything going on, I watched TV today.

A few observations:

* There were still car commercials. Somethings never change.

* There were commercials for phone apps. This is new to me.

* Many more commercials featured minorities and disabled people. I found it jarring. I'd say in the real world 1 out of 300 people are in a wheel chair. But 1 out of 5 commercials showed a person in a wheel chair.

* Oprah Winfrey is still selling diet products. Really? Ten years later and she's still dieting? Lady, it aint working!

* Many commercials were showing people wearing masks. It made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to see it. It might be real life, but I want TV to be an escape, not a reminder of the bad around me.


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209,240 Donald Trump should drop Twitter. He should join forces with a start-up and create a similar platform for his messages. Users would instantly switch over to the new app. Trump is the star of Twitter. It's basically the only reason for joining - to read what Trump is posting. If Trump leaves Twitter, which he should because they are so biased against him, Twitter would go out of business. The stock and wealth of the employees would be worthless. Don't bite the hand that feeds you Twitter. Or do, and suffer the consequences.


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209,239 It pisses me off when a nitwit walks down the middle of the sidewalk. Look, I'll stay far to my right, you stay far to your right. When we cross paths, we will be far away from each other. Does this really have to be explained?


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209,238 What's this new fad buzzword where you call a whiner a 'Karen'. Where does it come from? There must be a story.


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209,237 The only people I've known to join the military were kids who dropped out of my high school.


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209,236 Every few days I check the weather outside. Not by looking out the window. All the blinds are drawn. I can't see outside and I don't want to touch the shades in case there are virus particles on them. No, I check the weather outside by looking at weather.com.


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209,235 The massage place in town is having a 10% off sale. LOL. I'm thinking even if the massages were free no one would go.


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209,234 I could use a little adrenaline pumping excitement right about now.....


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209,233 Attention men: want a surefire jock itch cure? I’ve got one. Get a spray bottle of rubbing alcohol from CVS. Twice a day, once at morning and once at night, spray the infected area three times. It will burn like a bitch for about five minutes. Your eyes might water. Too bad, this is what you get for having poor genital hygiene. It’ll be gone in a week or less. Don’t ask me how I know this


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209,232 There are vines growing over the walkway to my front door. I never realize that under normal use, my shoes must grind away the vines. But seeing I haven't been out and no one has walked there in three months, the vines have taken over. It's a minor thing, but it reminds me what Mother Nature can and will do. Give nature a chance and it will come back and flourish. I hate so much about this virus, but I'm liking that neighbors are seeing bears in their yards, and herds of deer on Main Street. I hope when this clears up, we continue to make room for our non-human friends. They seem to deserve this place more than we do.  


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209,231 I just amused myself by spending two hours looking at webcams all over the country. Not many people out and about. A trickle of people here and there. But for five minutes straight I can view what is normally a busy sidewalk, like downtown Key West, and there is no one. States are open, but most people continue to stay home. They are smart. They get it. It's not time to go out yet.


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209,230 Moved out of my college dorm. Lost my iPad in the process. I know it’s somewhere in my parents’ house but I have no fucking clue where it could be. Whoops. Genuinely have no idea where I could’ve put it.


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209,229 Hey Nurses, relax! You're just upset that you aren't as important as you're trying to make yourselves out to be.


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209,228 Hey Nurses, relax! You're just upset that you aren't as important as you're trying to make yourselves out to be.


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209,227 Duuring sex a woman once said to me, "Slow down, it's not a rape."

Ouch.


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209,226 Dude. I’m not trying to harass you. Whether you “choose to accept it” or not...WE ARE HAVING A BABY IN THREE MONTHS. Calling my pain at you abandoning me with no shame “vitriol” and saying I don’t need your courtesy is messed up. I didn’t trick you to get pregnant and you didn’t tell me before it happened that you were allowed to opt out either. You are basically hiding behind total crap logic at this point and we Could easily be a little family. You can choose to opt out of being a decent person about your part in this but I would like to see you opt out of your legally binding obligations once our daughter is here. I don’t want to spend a minute in court against you but since you can’t be bothered to treat me like a human being I am probably just going to run your ass into the ground financially and your existing son will suffer because of YOU. You do so much stuff trying to teach him what a man does about everything in life. Why are you setting this example and furthermore basically making it impossible for him to ever know his little sister? Your need to be right about everything and punish me is a terrible shortcoming if yours and I am disappointed in you beyond belief. You are letting a number of people down, including yourself just to prove a point that is entirely fucking reprehensible and wrong. But hey at least you will get to sit there and call me all kinds of ugly names all alone. I hope it is worth all the hassle of having a judge order you to give up like half your income. At this point I can’t be blamed for that. I tried to be your friend and you aren’t anyone’s friend so enjoy setting yourself on fire...just to be RIGHT.


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209,225 I keep non-perishable food in the refrigerator so the cockroaches can't get to it.


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209,224 I lost a lot of weight and my husband quit having sex with me. Losing weight was hard. This is hard.


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209,223 At my work place, we tell clients we can't see their password, that it's encrypted, but yes we can see their password.


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209,222 I appreciate the Military that literally went to battle for us, but there's so many entitled people in the Military that have a God Complex, when they have never actually done more than sit behind a computer.


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209,221 Woohoo!! I have toilet paper again. 20 rolls were delivered. Pure gold. This is enough to last me months! Life is good. Take that Mr. Pandemic. You aren't going to beat me!


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209,220 An example.

My town, like many towns, always has a Memorial Day parade. This year it was canceled. The extreme patriotic anti-shutdown whiners were pissed. They demanded the parade be reinstated. The Mayor refused.

The patriots decided to have their own parade.  Last week they posted their plans online. They were getting a caravan of cars together. Everyone would decorate their vehicles with flags. They would all meet at 10 AM today at the designated starting point. They laid out an exact travel route. They posted the map online so homeowners could stand outside and cheer.

But it has been my contention that these anti-shutdown people aren't right in the head. They are morons. Or high on meth. Or drunk on republican love.

Right on time, at 10 AM this morning, a caravan of 50 cars showed up at  the starting point. But being as pushy and boneheaded as they are, they decided at the last minute to change the route and go down different streets. Not the streets they posted online. End result, homeowners went outside to watch, but no cars came down their street. Homeowners saw nothing. The parade was a bust.

And there you have it. This is the perfect example of how poorly these anti-shutdown people think things through. They couldn't even think far enough ahead to realize they can't change the parade route as the parade was starting. Duh.

With that in mind, do you have any faith they are thinking clearly when it comes to going to bars, and swimming in crowded pools? Nope. They are idiots. Do not let them influence you when it comes to staying safe.


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209,219 I'm not going to shave until the pandemic is over. This might end up being a very long beard.


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209,218 China, I'm sorry the way my country has been treating you. The unfounded accusations, the paranoia, the outright racism. Please know we are not all this way. Peace and stay well.


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209,217 I've been reconnecting with high school classmates. They look so old now. But behind the wrinkles, gray hair, and bald heads, I can still see the faces I remember from so long ago. It makes me smile.


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209,216 I love how upset you get whenever I post on here about your mom. Hahahaha!!

If you stopped seeing her as a saint, life would be a lot better for you. Part of growing up is admitting to yourself (and your spouse) who your parents really are. You’re supposed to pick your bond w/your spouse; but your bond to your mother is more important. I think we all know how that ends.

Your grumpy attitude is giving me life today!!! I am so happy!!!!


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209,215 We have been isolating in different locations. We haven't seen each other in two months. It's made me realize I'm better off without him. I'm going to end it. Time to write a breakup text. Collateral damage from the virus.


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209,214 So many overweight people in our country. I feel bad for them. Everyone needs to address this. Do what you can to lose the weight. You don't have to run 5 miles today. But at least do arm exercises while watching TV today. Tomorrow walk once around the backyard. Start small but do something, anything. Get up and get moving. Please people, do this for yourselves. I want to see everyone healthy.


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209,213 I wonder if I should sent a connect request on LinkedIn to this lady I grew up with in high school. We liked each other a lot but never took it very far.... eventually we drifted apart and havent spoken for over 10 years but I have looked her up from time to time.. She's married and has a very successful career from the military...I jump job to job every 4-5 years....good paying but I need more . Im not looking to fuck her nor would I if she offered...., but I would like to reconnect and see if she can help me get into a successful career and talk about the really cool shit we both have done

Should I sent the invitation to connect or would it look stalkerish...hmmmm....my weird thoughts.



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209,212 I know he sent me a DM. I'm told he's trying to apologize for his behavior for all these years and give his condolences for my brother dying. I haven't opened it. I won't. As  soon as I do he can tell I read the message. I won't give him the satisfaction.


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209,211 To j: Why do you take your anger out on me? I woke you up with morning head and now you think I’m trying to fight you? I was thinking about my sister in bed and you told me to get up. I did and started sorting the trash and recycling. And then you got mad...saying I wasn’t up before and I should’ve done it before. It would have been easier if you worked with me instead of using a paper bag for the trash. I don’t know why you stay. You say you care but I feel alone.


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209,210 There’s an outbreak in Michigan in a county that only has three intensive care unit beds.

I hope that’s where you want to go in Michigan.


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209,209 I hate you.

I want out.

You’re the worst to me.

This is torture.

Can’t take care of myself until you are gone. I will either wither away and die or get the fuck away from you. I hate you. You hate me.

You are mean to me.

You do subtle things to torture me - that is abuse. I want to leave you.

Sleep deprivation is abuse. I hate you.

Old boyfriends that cheated on me suddenly seem like nicer options than you.

Other women dodged you. I am shot with thus bullet and I am dying. You are a sickness to me.

Waking me up all the time and then being angry that I get grumpy from being awakened all the time is you Mrs passive aggressive bullshit. “But I was being the nice guy.” No you weren’t. You’re just as shitty as your father and your mom is even shittier than both of you. You should be fucking embarrassed of a 60 year old that makes a fake account to spy on your wife and you and your dumb as shit brother have to (poorly) cover it up using fat Lauren. I hope the all die of covid. It’s really what they deserve for being so fucking stupid and redneck.


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209,208 Your mom should be as alone as your dad is. They’re both selfish greedy people. Look at their weight.  Making your wife loose weight and go for a walk will never take the weight off of your folks. Nothing will. They’re to stupid and to into themselves to stop shouting food in their mouths.

Your mom and dad are just nasty garbage disposals. Fat nasty trash compactors. So gross. How do I get away from your nasty stupid family. Fuck the Midwest!


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209,207 Destroying stuff that your mom sends is what calms my temper best. No one should really be allowing her to shop anyway. Just put her in a playroom with dolls and she’d be fine. She’s that simple and dumb.

I guess the only way to never deal with that lazy useless tub of lard is to leave you. I hope the kids never have to go see her with you. She embodies the selfish, blobby, American teen that expects everyone to clean up her mistakes when she gets knocked up in high school. NEWS FLASH!!! Most girls that get knocked up in HS abort the baby and ditch the father and move the fuck on. Your mom is a dumbass who gave birth to your dumbass brother. They look dopey too and you know it. Your brother SOUNDS like he’s always breathing from his mouth.


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209,206 I posted on facebook about how cases are starting to increase in my state after re-opening. I used actual official numbers reported by the state's Department of Health.

I received such an odd reaction. Many people chimed in saying the data I was using is wrong. They insisted our numbers are going down. I provided a link to the numbers on the state website. Then the naysayers made up a new excuse and said the state's spreadsheet is wrong. They said Excel is buggy. They also said the state's computer hardware is broken. It was very revealing. Clearly they don't want to hear the numbers are getting worse, so they make up excuses why the numbers look bad, but are actually good. Such bizarre excuses. The state's computer hardware is broken?? They will consider anything - except that the state's numbers are getting worse because more people are mingling. To them, it's an impossibility that people are crossing paths more and infections are on the rise, as if this simple idea defies the laws of physics or something.

I'm afraid we share this planet with some immature, non-smart, buttheads. We must see their whining for what it is. Use your common sense people. Recognize there are very loud dimwits out there who can't handle the truth so they make up their own truth.


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209,205 Something I miss, baked goodies. I have a major sweet tooth. I love going to the bakery and getting muffins, pies, cakes, donuts.... oh gosh do I miss these treats.

I feel like they are not safe now. Baked goods are never covered. Anyone can breath nearby. A shame.


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209,204 These images horrify me. Why are so many Americans being so pig headed?






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209,203 My wife left us and I raised our son without her. I am so proud of him. He turned into a fine young man. Honestly, I am proud of me too. I never gave up on him. Unlike his irresponsible mother, I was always there as his parent and his friend. Raising him has been my greatest accomplishment in life.  


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209,202 Every evening I Clorox the house. It has a pungent odor. I've learned to love it. It makes me feels safe.


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209,201 I don’t fantasize about another man. I only fantasize about you not being in the house. You make life so difficult that I spring out of bed so happy as soon as the weekend is over. Three day weekends and holidays are the worst. Just leave please.


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209,200 Your mom is so fat. And your brothers hands are so puffy, like your dads. They’re all so terrible about watching what goes in their mouths.

Maybe if they actually spoke their minds, opened books, and did anything besides deny what shitty people they are and eat their feelings about it your mother wouldn’t have a stent In Her heart.

Fat, dumb, teen mom.
Fat dumb teen diabetic dad.
Fat dumb diabetic brother and stepdad

They’re not good people. They’re just good at eating.


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209,199 Text me. I’m dying to talk to you but I’ve initiated the past three conversations. I feel like an overbearing creep and I can’t tell if you like talking to me or not. Just text me if you’re going to. Go ahead.


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209,198 My wife absolutely loves attending “rites of spring”, an event held every May in the Berkshire's of Massachusetts, I went once with her and never again, four days of solid hell for me, my “time to go home” countdown clock Was running almost the moment we arrived, I absolutely hated this thing. I’d burn down the camp they hold this in to get out of it, the singular good that’s come of Covid 19 was in forcing this events cancellation this year~


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209,197 A few months ago I had no idea who Nick Cordero is. But now I'm totally rooting for him! #GetWellNick


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209,196 An interesting thing is happening where I live. I'm in suburbia outside a major metropolis. The real estate market here has sucked for the past few years. The price of homes kept falling and no one was buying anyway. But in the past month, dozens of homes in this small town have been scooped up. The buyers are paying full price. No negotiations.

I think it's families fleeing the nearby city. They are willing to pay anything to get out of the urban infected hell hole. It's probably a sign of what's to come. Cities will no longer be a desirable place to live. I think this happened in the 1970s. Drugs were booming the cities. Junkies would shoot you dead for your wallet to get a fix. People fled the city. Apartment prices collapsed. I think we are going to see that again. The $1 million studio apartment is going to became $50,000 grungy flat in a run-down building.


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209,195 Apparently, acting tough is a cure.


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209,194 My wife was potentially exposed. We asked her to isolate in the basement for two weeks. She refused. She very stubbornly insisted she won't get sick. She is confused about what she wants to happen and what might happen. I said we have diabetes in this house, an old person, a heart condition and high blood pressure. The family members here have been very patient for these past two months. Everyone has stuck to the rules. No one has gone outside at all. Except my wife. Rules don't apply to her. She unexpectedly left the other day. Not only that, she lied about going out and socializing with a group of people in a closed room for many hours. Quarantine is only as good as the weakest link. Unfortunately, we have a very weak link.


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209,193 I get all my groceries delivered. I leave a $25 tip for the driver. He deserves it.


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209,192 My wife's youngest brother looks nothing like anyone else in the family. He was born in the same year his parents divorced. Just saying...


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209,191 I think in large part, people who encourage others to seek a mental health therapist - are in fact in need of therapy themselves and are trying to make out like it's someone else who has the problem.


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209,190 This is an evolutionary event.


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209,189 Found out that incel means involuntary celibate. Turns out I’m a female incel.


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209,188 The secret to my beloved mac and cheese is putting in a spoonful of plain yogurt.


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209,187 I know! I know! I know you’re only using me for entertainment! But why am I still so attracted to you? If you told me to drive to you now, tonight, I’d do it. Without hesitation. I’d do it. But you don’t even feign interest in my Instagram messages. Why am I so into you when I know you just treat me like a curiosity?


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209,186 I drink because I'm sad. I lost my daughter 3 months ago. What was the purpose of her life? What was the purpose of mine?


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209,185 I was beautiful once. 9 years later, Ive gained 50 pounds and I'm so sad. I only get hit on by old, unattractive men. What happened to me?


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209,184 I work for a horrible man. He told me he would pay me during the shut down. 6 weeks later, he gives me some bullshit excuse about how he applied for a 1000 loan. $1000 dollars? What is that going to do? Then a week into working, he tells me that he applied for a $10,000 loan but he only received $1000. Come on dude. You didn't apply for anything because you lie on your taxes. You can't get a PPP loan because you pay all your employees under the table, Then he tells me how upset he is because he can't pay me for the time we were shut down. Strange how you were able to paint your entire 2 story house during the lock down but somehow have no money to pay for a sneeze guard to protect your "employees". Youre a piece of shit. you never intended to pay me a dime. Then you treat me like dirt. Hope you lose everything. Can't wait until I get another job- one with benefits, with a decent boss who isn't lying to the IRS. you're DAY WILL COME. Mark my words...


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209,180 I draw. It’s more like I color. Can’t actually draw, not even a straight line. So I do forms and shapes and whatnot. It brings me joy and peace. I’m not worried about making Good Art at all, I’m just absorbed in the act of creation. I use 64 count crayons and 2 dollar sketch pad I bought from Walgreens. Nothing special. I get through one sketch pad a week, so ten drawings or so a day, typically with the window open, a candle lit, music playing after work. It’s peaceful. It’s kind. I recommend it. Why? Can’t say. Just... something good, and harmless. Something good,


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209,179 I’m a climate scientist.

It’s over.

I’m sorry. We tried.


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209,178 I remember every fish I ever caught. I don't remember all the girls I dated, but yeah, I remember every fish.


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209,177 Today I threw her out. My marriage is over. I took a bunch of her stuff. I put it in white plastic garbage bags and placed it on the porch. I called her cell to let her know to swing by and pick everything up. She did. The end.

I can't talk about what she did today. Not yet. But it was the final straw. Of course I'm saddened a bit. But I'm surprised to feel a certain thrill knowing I'll never see her again. I'll never have to put up with her crud again.


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209,176 I peed a little in my pants today. It just came out. I was wearing khakis. I was in a room with three people. I could see the wet spot. I immediately went to the bathroom to empty my bladder. Then I washed my hands and intentionally rubbed them on my pants to create more wet spots. When I returned to the room I pointed out how I dried my hands on my pants and that's what all the wet was about. I was probably too obvious about it. They probably know this trick and I just tipped them off that I must have peed a little in my pants. I can't win.


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209,175 The crickets are disappearing. When I was a kid they were so many the noise could be deafening. Now I go camping and still hear them, but just a few, and it's weird for my ears. The silence is haunting.


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209,174 Three years ago I met a guy named B. in New Haven, CT. I was doing research at Yale and he was a recovering heroin addict who’d found religion and gotten a job as an organ tuner. We lived in the same slumlord’s AirBnB for a bit, eating chicken we stole from Walmart, ramen I brought from WV, sleeping in shifts with a baseball bat because methheads kept breaking in and stealing shit from the house. We hugged when I had to leave.

About a year ago, I saw on the news that there was a mass overdose at a New Haven park. I recognized it — B. told me he used to go there to score all the time. Dozens of people OD’d and died. I have no way to contact him.

B., if you’re out there, I hope you’re okay.


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209,173 I’m moving out of my parents house - finally! - in August. It’ll be cool to be a college student on his own, and I’m looking forward to starting my own life, but if I’m being honest? I fantasize about smoking a fat joint and then cumming in my girlfriend’s ass while another woman rides her face. We’ve always wanted a three way but never had the space. Now we have a willing participant AND the space. I am so excited.


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209,172 I lie to my boss.


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209,171 I slept with about 50 women. Sexually things were good. I want to believe I'm not bad in bed. I enjoyed the sex. I think they did too. No selfishness from me. No wam bam thank you mam. I was a courteous and adventurous lover. I took it slow. I'd make it interesting. I'd always aim to give the woman an orgasm.

Except with one woman. It was the strangest thing. We were in her apartment. I remember the place had an intensely sexually vibe. The bedroom smelled of perfumes. There were
soft pillows everywhere. Delicate girly things were laying about, things like lotions and bras and lipsticks. It would be my definition not of a bedroom, but of a boudoir.

I took her clothes off and before I knew it, poof, I was cumming. I couldn't help myself. She barely touched me and I started erupting all over me and her hand and the bedsheets.

I apologized. I said that never happened before. I heard about this being a problem for some guys, but really, ejaculating too soon was never a problem for me before. Really. I swear.

She laughed about it.

We went out once more a few days later. Ended up back at her apartment. Again I breathed in the perfumed scent of her bedroom. And far too soon, boom. I started cumming. I was shocked and embarrassed. I think she looked at me like I was a little boy and this was my first time with a woman. We never went out again.

I can't explain it. I think she must have an extremely high level of girly pheromones and wow did my body react. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's very desirable to have a woman who is so sensual. But I couldn't handle it. When she thinks back on prior loves, I must be at the bottom of the list.



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209,170 I dated a woman 35 years ago (amazing it was so long ago). We were wonderfully close. She meant everything to me. She was the only one I ever loved. No one since has replaced the feelings I had/have for her. Even though we haven't talked and we are married to other people, I know she feels the same way.

Here's my secret. I've been stalking her recently. She lives about 40 miles away. I looked up her address and parked down the street from her house. First time I sat there in my car for hours watching for activity. Oddly it wasn't boring. It was exciting to think I might see her again. Sure enough, at about 6 in the evening I saw her on the sidewalk. She walked right past me in my car. She was dressed nicely and carrying a large black shoulder bag. I pieced it together. She must be coming home from work. She had gotten off the train and was walking back to her house. She must do this everyday. Perfect.

I went half a dozen more times. I timed it so I'd see her on the walk home. I stayed in my car. I toyed with the idea of walking on the sidewalk myself and making it look like I randomly bumped into her. Gee what a coincidence. But I'd be hard pressed to explain why I just happened to be on the sidewalk in a small town 40 miles from where I lived.

For now I'm happy just seeing her at a distance, even if I don't talk to her. It gives me comfort to be near her.

When I think about it, gosh I am super creepy. I'm a full fledged stalker. I envision a guy breaking up with a girl and then stalking her over the next few months. But I'm stalking 35 years later. What a big time delay. I do love her though and always have so yes I'm stalking, but in a good way.


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209,169 After over two months of no sex, my husband rolled over and asked if he could stick his dick in me this morning. In response to his very romantic question I asked “why.” To which he responded “good point” and rolled back to his side of the bed.

Exactly my point. Not because he’s attracted to me, not because he has any desire to please me. Only because his dick hasn’t been wet in almost three months. Dude can’t even come up with lies to get into my pants. Fuck this marriage, I am so sex deprived it’s ridiculous.


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209,168 My (now) husband and I agreed five years ago when we first started dating that we never wanted kids... Forward to now. One of his exes, randomly contacts him over Facebook telling him that he's the father of her 10 year old.... And now he wants to play daddy and even tells me that he wants me to happily play stepmom. NOPE. NOT HAPPENING. I did not sign up for that. I never agreed to that. I have asked him to take a DNA test before moving forward with anything, and he agreed. When he told the kid's mom he wanted to do that she was not happy at all about that, and threw a tantrum, threatened to kill me and even accused him of being a deadbeat father, how? He never even knew of that child's existence until two days ago when you just happen to randomly message him over facebook. After all, this is a major thing... The girls mother is a drug addict after all, she could be lying and trying to dump the kid on him to get child support because the real baby daddy might not want to pay up, and it's because of her drug addiction that he says that if he is the father that he'll try to get full custody. I told him that I completely understand, and I'm not mad. If that does turn out to be his daughter that is  exactly what I would expect him to do, but I also told him that I have no interest in being a parent or a step parent and I would be and wanting a divorce if he did turn to be the kid's dad. I left our house and an currently staying with with my old flatmate....This whole situation is giving me crazy anxiety, so I just figured it would be best if just stayed away until the DNA results get back....

Really hoping it 's negative.... given her reaction it probably will be. On the upside my sister has is already planning my "just divorced" party, should it be needed... And it will be.

Part of me kind of wants to move forward with the divorce even if he isn't the father.


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209,167 My wife's nephew is graduating from high school. My wife bought him a gift on-line and had it sent to him. I asked what she got him.

"I sent him a half gallon container of honey."

"Honey??"

"Yes. All teenage boys like honey."

"They do? I could understand getting him a video game. Or cash. Or a college jacket or something. But honey?"

"Trust me, teenage boys love honey."

Maybe I was just a weird kid, but when I was a teenager, honey wasn't on my list of must have items.


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209,166 I enjoy looking at big ticket items for sale. Things like houses, boats, and expensive cars. I daydream about one day buying these fancy toys and living the good life. It keeps me motivated to work hard.

Anyway, something I've noticed in the past few weeks. There are some tremendous bargains for sale. A newish 50 foot boat will typically cost $150,000. But I'm seeing one listed for $25,000. A beach condo in a certain town normally cost $200,000. But I see one listed for $10,000.

You know what all these bargain items have in common? They are for sale in Mexico and their current owners live in Canada or some other foreign country.

I smell a rat. Our borders with these countries are closed. There is no way to check the item. There is no way to know if I'm even dealing with the real owner. I think it's a scam. Anyone can post a few pictures online and mention a price. They say the offer won't last and anyone interested should send payment right away.

Yeah right.

So disappointing how some crooks are trying to take advantage of innocent people at a time like this.


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209,165 CNN has a daily feature showing the history of new cases in each state. Here is the link,

https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2020/health/coronavirus-us-maps-and-cases/index.html

My state also displays graphs each day on our official website showing the number of new cases.

The CNN data looks nothing like my state's official data. CNN has my state going up. We look awful. My state on the other hand shows the cases are going down.

I just have to shake my head once again at CNN. I am certain my state's official site is correct. They show the details of every town and how it adds up to the state total. I think CNN is just making crap up again. I think it's terribly irresponsible. I wonder how many viewers looked at the CNN graphs and got depressed. Jesus CNN, please fix your numbers!  


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209,164 I know a woman who used to be rich. Her ex-husband came from a rich family. This woman lived the high life. She belonged to country clubs, drove fancy cars, and traveled around the world. She had an attitude too, like she was better then the rest of us. Her husband ultimately divorced her because she spent so much of his money and she pretty much sucked as a human being.

Here we are 10 years later. She has nothing anymore. She spent her divorce settlement. She lives in a dangerous town, in a run down rental house. She has fallen a long way.

What's really odd though, she makes constant posts on Facebook about rich people and how they are so awful. What a sour grapes attitude. She was the rich person looking down on everyone else for so long. Now that the tables have turned, she conveniently has forgotten her past. I never liked her when she was rich. I don't like her now.


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209,163 I wonder if any of the men I dated ever think of me all these years later. Do they regret giving me up?


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209,162 In my younger days when I was dating alot, I'd pull this trick on women. I'd be fucking her pussy from behind and "accidentally" slip. My dick would come out and run up her ass crack passing right over her asshole. If she shrieked, then I know her asshole is off limits. But if she cooed, then you can be sure I'd brush my dick over her asshole a few more times and then stick it in there. It was a good way to test the waters without pressuring her.


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209,161 There should be a code on a thong showing where the back, front and sides are. I have real trouble telling them apart. Put a red dot on the back, a green dot on each of the sides, and a blue dot on the front, or something like that. Then I can easily pull the thong from the drawer and know how it goes on. I'm tired of turning it this way and that way and trying to figure out which end is up!


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209,160 In the news I see all these people outside. They are in parks, in restaurants, and riding bikes. They are exposing themselves to risk. Me, I've stayed indoors all this time. Yet I'm still terrified of getting sick.

But the people in the news, if they haven't gotten sick, then why would I? I've had zero chance for exposure.

Or maybe the people I see in the news are getting sick. The numbers are still going up. Maybe it's exactly these people who are so casually playing outside.


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209,159 No one ever mentions this, so I'll say it: Tara Reade sure is a big girl.


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209,158 Trump declared churches are essential. Is he trying to kill off his most loyal base?
I know the virus doesn't make everyone severely sick or kill them but it is highly contagious. I can't see actually going to a church for a long time


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209,157 Churches should not reopen. Some officials are trolling us.


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209,156 My ex-wife and I were friends with another couple in the early 90's. Well, the wives were friends. I sort of just tolerated the other husband. There was always something about him that seemed off to me. He was military and said very little. When he did speak, he was gruff and opinionated. I stopped trying to befriend him after a while. He worked for the FBI but no one knew what he did for them, not even his wife.

One day the wife came to our house in tears to see my wife. He had left her in the middle of the night. But this is the weird thing. The night before he left, everything was totally fine and normal. When she woke up, he and all his stuff was just gone. His clothes, his toiletries and possessions all missing. Even his train set that he had set up in their garage, which was a very expensive and intensive set-up had been disassembled and moved. That alone had to have taken several hours to do. We could not figure out how he moved all this stuff without waking her. We supposed that maybe he drugged her. The guy just up and disappeared with no note or explanation. I divorced my ex-wife in the early 2000's and last I heard, no one had heard from him since that day in 1993.

I think about this often and wonder what happened to that guy.


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209,155 Trump has completely lost me on his insistence to have everything open. It is irresponsible and will lead to catastrophe. From what I'm reading he thinks it will help him get reelected if the economy recovers. But there's no way I'm voting for him this time. I did vote for him 4 years ago. It won't happen again. He's putting our lives at risk for his own personal gain. Buh bye.


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209,154 I wish bathroom walls were thicker and more sound proof.


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209,153 My ex and I have been involved on and off for years.  I broke up with him years ago and he eventually got a new girlfriend, I'm not mad at that.  But here we are trying again, and he talks about her.  He says it's so that I know where he's coming from.  But he repeats things, he tells me these long drawn out things about her, and I wonder if he is over it.  They broke up last year but she popped back in his life in the fall/winter.  So then he sends me a pic of himself wearing a shirt saying the name of a place they went to when they were together, the day after a long conversation about her.  I asked one question, when is that pic from and he wouldn't answer and went on joking.  So I got annoyed because he can't answer one question straight.  And yes because he just talked about her all afternoon the day before and then this.  I think by him talking about her to me he is working through his feelings about the situation but i'm not his therapist or buddy.  It's not fair to me.  I'm so sick of it.


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209,151 I was jerking in our bedroom. My wife was downstairs, or so I thought. I heard a slight creak in the floorboard outside the bedroom door. I immediately pulled up my boxers and moved my hands away. Half a second later my wife vigorously opened the bedroom door. She saw nothing but me sleeping. Close call.

But interesting. I can always hear her coming up the stairs. This time I didn't. She slowly and carefully snuck upstairs trying not to make a sound. She knew what I was doing and wanted to catch me in the act. This opens up a new sexual fantasy realm for me, seeing what I can get away with without getting caught.  


likes: 1
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209,150 im praying you slip up and somehow let your wife know you're still in love with me. i will never, ever blow up your spot on purpose but we both know you would be happier with me. we don't have secrets like you do with her! i know all your real fetishes and fantasies and we're perfectly compatible. i'm young enough and willing to give you your own biological children. you'd never have to give up fucking other pussies or even falling in love, because monogamy has never been for either of us. think of how happy you'd be, with a curvy horny fuckdoll for a wife, instead of the skinny mousey little thing whose pussy you have to beg for and whose ass you'll never be allowed to fuck? too bad you decided you owe her something, even though really- were you ever truly hers? no. she was just keeping you warm for me. you were the second man ever in my cunt. you still can't keep your hands off me ten years later. you're mine, fully and truly mine, and one day soon i have a funny feeling you'll wake up and realize it. you'll sit bolt upright and in a cold sweat finally understand that you could be spending your days fucking our son into me on a 64acre farm instead of begging for once a week sex in a rundown two bedroom, contenting yourself raising another man's kid without even the chance of one of your own. you'll be scared it'll  be too late to come home to me- and it might be. but for as long as i can be, i'll be here daddy. with an open mind, open arms, and an open mouth.


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209,149 My dad sleeps in the next room. He watches 80s music videos on his phone to fall asleep. They’re loud and screechy and all sound the same and they keep me awake. I want to ask him to stop, but I’m worried that if I can hear his music, then he can hear me jacking off. It’s mutually assured destruction. For now we pretend we can’t hear each other, I guess?


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209,148 Cutting and pasting memes gives dopey people something to do all day.


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209,147 I'm wearing my happy pants.


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209,146 I dated a chick and when we had sex for the first time it was a blow job and I pulled out of her mouth at the last second to be polite and my cum shot into her hair and she threw a hissy fit that it was in her hair because she wasn't planning on washing her hair and now she had to. I was surprised how mad she was. I didn't know how important her hair routine was.

Next time we had sex it was fucking and I pulled out at the last second and not wanting to offend her again I didn't let any get on her body it got on her sheets though and she was pissed again because they were clean sheets and she'd have to wash them again.

The third time we had sex.... oh never mind. There was no third time. I dumped her after the second time because she complained too much. I should thank her for revealing her true self at the very start. From reading the secrets here, most women (and I'm sure men too) try to cover up their real selves.


likes: 2
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209,145 I don't know what "dearth" means. It's either a little or a lot. Like someone says there is a dearth of information on that topic. It either means lots of info, or no info. I don't know which. I could look it up. But I have never bothered. I don't really care what it means because I don't really care what someone else is saying.


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209,144 If you bully me, there's no way I'm going to give in. If you ask nicely, I'll probably make you happy. But bully me, no way.


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209,143 Hahaha, he put the car up for sale on ebay. The bids got to $7100. It wasn't enough to beat the reserve price so it didn't officially sell. He then relisted with a nasty note to all saying we were being cheap and the car was worth more. This second time the bids only went as high as $5600 and he forgot to put in a reserve. Now he must sell at $5600. Karma.


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209,142 I broke up with my ex because she said her pussy was tight as a 3yr old girls... and was surprised I was sickened by it... like why would you compare your sex stuff to a childs.. why? That's fucking gross and makes you sound like a pedophile.  


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209,141 More than ever, I think because of the shut down and isolation, people are behaving poorly online. I wouldn't be surprised if once this is over, offended people track down the rude people and shoot them in the head. There will be a rash of these mystery murders all over the country.


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209,140 My wife's family is arranging to have a reunion of sorts this weekend. This is in the hard-hit northeast . About 20 siblings, spouses and children will be getting together for three days. Some are traveling many hours from out of state to attend. Some are getting on airplanes. I've explained to my wife why this reunion is not a good idea at the moment. It might even be illegal. She responded with trite comments like "everything will be fine" and "no one is sick". I explained once again how I have diabetes. I'm particularly vulnerable. I didn't choose to have diabetes. It chose me. It's not my fault. But it's my reality, and seeing she is married to me, it's also her reality and we both have to live with it for better or worse. In short, she has no right to ignore the dangers and put me at risk when she returns. I pleaded with her to no avail. I tried to compromise, I said if she goes, could she please stay at a hotel for the next 14 days, or stay at her sister's house. She refused. She said when she returns, I should go to a hotel. Does this sound fair? She is creating a potentially dangerous situation, all so she can attend a party, and therefore I should have to move elsewhere?

Comments please.


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209,139 I want my husband to have an affair so I can leave him and raise our kids by myself.


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209,138 I have very clear memory of being 5 years old. The boy across the street asked me to come with him behind his shed. He told me to take off my clothes, which I did. He then touched my penis. He took off his pants and told me to touch his, which I did. He told me to kiss his penis. I didn't want to. He tried to push my head down and forced my face into his penis. I squirmed away. I never played with him again. A few months later we moved away. This is the first time I've told anyone what happened that day.


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209,136 NY state phone call, then my phone tells me it needs to update. Sigh. It’s you on your lunch looking through my iCloud.

Please divorce me so that I never have to see your fat nasty family ever again.


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209,135 I'm tired of being me. I don't always like who I am. I want to be a different person.


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209,134 I don't get these celebrity parents who paid hundreds of thousands in bribes to get their kid into mediocre colleges. I mean, if they bribed to get their kid into an Ivy, I might understand. But to pay so much moolah to get their kid into a mundane state college?

My secret, I went to an Ivy. My children go to Ivies. We paid nothing to get in. In fact, the schools paid us. Most of the tuition was covered by the universities. You know how to get a deal like that? Simple. Study hard when growing up!


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209,133 It has been over two months. I don't understand why stores still don't have toilet paper. Does fear make people go to the bathroom more? I don't think so. Stop being selfish and hoarding !!!!!!!!!


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209,132 My local restaurants have no customers so they have taken to selling grocery store type items instead. I can now buy eggs from them at $8 a dozen! It's triple the price of the supermarket. Fuck you assholes. Not only won't I purchase from these restaurants because they are blatantly price gouging, but when we get through this I will never eat at these restaurants again.


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209,131 I have a very expensive couch. It cost me $8,000. It is filled with down which at first made it very soft and comfortable. Completely ridiculous though. The feathers they put in the cushions still have the hard spiky parts. The spikes have begun to poke through the fabric. Not only do they jab my skin like a needle, they are causing the fabric threads to snap and there are now holes everywhere. The most expensive couch ever is the worst couch ever.


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209,130 A guy I worked with has his own page on Wikipedia because his father is famous. It's filled with lies. It says he ran the division where we used to work. Wrong. I ran the division. How low. It's not enough his father was famous. He has to claim ownership of my accomplishment?


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209,129 My car engine had many issues. I spent a few weeks taking things apart. I replaced some items. I refurbished others.

When I put everything back together, what do you think was the first thing I did?

Take it for a test drive down my block?

Or drive it across the country?

I of course went for a 100 yard test drive. I then brought it back home and tweak a few things. I did my test drive again. Once it passe my standards, I went on a longer test drive into town. It's a mile away. Over the next few days I continued to go no further than town. And finally, after a week of smaller trips where everything seemed okay, I then went 5 miles to the mall.  Living large! But this is how you make sure something is working. You test it out in small doses.

The engine of the country is broken. This week we turned the entire thing on all at once and first thing we are doing is taking a cross country drive.

This is so wrong. We should test small localized areas. Make sure the disease doesn't spread. Make sure it can still be contained.  

In our haste to get back to the bars, we have thrown out our common sense.


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209,128 When I go to the bathroom, I always look at my poop and try to figure out what food it used to be.


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209,127 I'd rather been seen as an "self proclaimed" expert. Then a lying two faced coddled whore. That nobody likes or believe's even with crocodile tears that you were raped.
If your own parents can't believe you. I'd hate to think what the world thinks when they hear what you spew out your big nose crying act mouth.
500 hundred friends but only 5 likes, only says enough and I'm sure half those pages are yourself.
Trying to act popular over a skin cream! Please. When it's paved off your own Father and Mother's sweat, blood and labor. Who you grossly despise.
Funny part. Everyone knows this. What a disgrace.


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209,124 My cousin is the nicest woman I've ever known. She deserves nothing but good to come her way. Yet she's had way more than her fair share of heartbreak. It makes me so sad. Lord, please help her and her family.


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209,123 14 days ago I was put in a difficult position. I was potentially exposed to Covid. I've been anxious all this time. But phew, 14 days are now up and I'm okay. I never want to go through this ordeal again.


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209,122 I remember when I was about 12 or 13. There was a beach club in town with a swimming pool. My family couldn't afford to join.

A few friends in the same boat as me decided to sneak in. I was usually a good kid and would never do something like that, but the pool looked so refreshing....

We climbed the fence behind the locker rooms and unseen, made our way into the water.

My and one friend sat peacefully in the shallows, chilling and talking. We befriended two young boys. They were like 5 years old. We gave them piggyback rides in the water and taught them how to dive off our shoulders, much to the approval of their onlooking moms. It was fun.

Two of the other kids I snuck in with took a different approach. They ran around on the pool deck even though the signs said not to. They did cannonballs off the diving board, trying to get as many people wet as possible. They shoved a few unsuspecting youngsters into the water.

Some of the parents complained to the lifeguards. One mother said she knew those boys and they were not members. Before I knew it, the police showed up. Holy moly! I was terrified. I wish I had never snuck in. I was going to be in such hot water.

The two troublemakers were escorted out of the club and into a police car. One of the irate mothers then pointed at me and my friend. A police officer came over. He asked if we were members....

Before I could answer, one of the moms of the boys I was giving piggyback rides to, she suddenly spoke up. She told the officer it was okay, she said the two of us were with her. We were her guests. The officer smiled and said have a nice day. I couldn't believe it, we were off the hook.

I inexplicably felt like crying. No one had ever been that nice to me before. I think the mom sensed my emotional state. She put her around around my shoulder and said come, we have some extra sandwiches, join us for lunch.

I stayed for a few more hours on that hot day. We ate. We played in the pool. I gave piggyback rides. My biggest takeaway, I learned that if you do good things, people will return in kind.

I never knew the woman's name, but whoever you are, thank you. My view of people changed a little for the better that day and I've never forgotten your kindness.


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209,121 For many, having alcohol is more important than getting infected.


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209,120 My husband is so lazy. When the oven timer starts sounding, he can't be bothered to get out of his seat and turn it off. It will beep for another few minutes until I'm out of my shower.


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209,119 208,825 coconut cake update
Cowardice won out...again



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209,118 Today's headline:

"WHO reports 106,000 new coronavirus cases, biggest 1-day increase since start of pandemic"

This aint over people. Many are acting like hey, all is well and lets go out for drinks.

Don't do it.


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209,117 I am sad that the Corona "stay at home" orders will soon be lifted.  I love staying  home with my wife and kids and doing nothing in particular.  No work, no stress.  We are never going to get this kind of a pass on the daily grind ever again in my lifetime.


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209,116 Do you believe in karma? I do. I think bad things happen to bad people. Look at your life. Anything bad happen to you recently? Have you done anything selfish? Maybe think about becoming a better person.


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209,115 Today, speaking about Trump, she said, "He comes in with doggy doo on his shoes and everybody who works with him has that on their shoes, too..."

Pelosi is your chosen leader, and she says things like "doggy doo."

Are you sure you made a good choice putting her in charge?


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209,113 Funny. My wife kept insisting she be allowed to go out and socialize. I kept pointing out it's not a smart thing to do. We had plenty of arguments.

I finally caved and said O.K. I give up, do what you want.

Do you know what she did? Nothing. She didn't go out. Deep down she knew I was right all along. She just wanted to argue, so she made a fuss even though she didn't even believe in what she was saying.

Just another reason I hate her. She lives to give me and everyone else a hard time. Please states, open up so I can get this divorce going.


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209,112 Something I've notice. The fancy elite people in society wear these fancy black masks. See how that works. Normally they can show off how beautiful they are with their perfect teeth, their face lifts and expensive makeup. But none of their superiority comes through if they are wearing a mask. So now it has become the in thing for the A listers. They wear a fancy black mask as a symbol to show they are better than the rest of us.




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209,111 When a bad person comes after me, I don't call the police. I call someone else. At a later time your remaining family members call the police.


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209,110 I think this is very telling. Here is the breakdown of cases in New York City. The yellow circle shows where most everyone heads for work each day. But look, that area has the lowest rate of infection. The map shows that the further one lives from work, the greater the number of infections.

Why is that? Simple. It's the subway. The further away you live, the more time you spend on the subway getting to work. You are a sitting duck on the subway. You are trapped in a confined space with many people and little airflow.

The media will have you believe this disease targets minorities and poor people. No, it targets mass transit riders. Just so happens that the people living at the far edges of NYC, the ones spending the most time on the subways, are poor minorities. But once you get past the border of NYC, to Long Island and New Jersey, the rich people are there. They commute on trains. They have also been smacked with many infections. It's mass transit again.

Want to stop this going forward, shut down all mass transit.




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209,109 There is a very interesting divide forming.

On one side there are uber patriotic, dimwitted, no common sense, gun toting buffoons, who think the most important thing is to eat out, go to bars, and shop at the mall.

On the other side are intelligent, patient, reasonable, caring people who want everyone to stay home and be healthy.

What side are you on?


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209,108 Text to my soon to be ex husband  this evening:

“At the end of day if you really wanted to get your shit together and stop drinking, you would.

If you really wanted to keep our family intact and didn’t want to lose me, you’d be doing things to keep me and gain my affection.

So frequently right before I go to sleep and close my eye I resign and accept that I wasn’t important enough to you.”

45 mother of three in texas


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209,107 Right now, right here, the window open, a candle lit. Wind chimes break and sound with rustling leaves. I drink alone in the dark. What is this? What is this living?


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209,106 Why am I so easily led astray by beautiful women? If a pretty girl says hello to me, I’ll think about her for the rest of the evening. If a goodlooking woman makes small talk with me I’ll convince myself she loves me. Why? Why am I so certain? How can I resist this other than constant vigilance which kills the charm?


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209,105 I know you’re only talking to me for entertainment and attention. You know I’m into you, you find me kinda weird and strange, you think that you can string me along for giggles and then drop me when you get tired. I know. Don’t think I don’t. I know.


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209,104 I want legal weed before I die. I want to be able to smoke myself stupid without worrying about an employment drug test or the cops breaking down my door. Is that really too much to ask?


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209,103 I look at the secrets I’ve posted on here, and then I look at other people’s secrets, and I think “wow. I’m an awful person.”


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209,102 I want to be a good Buddhist but I can’t stop drinking. Alcohol goes against the Fifth Precept and is a direct violation of the Buddha’s teachings. Metta unto all and also myself


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209,101 This is a great example of how fake news is manufactured.

Here's a story on Yahoo. It says that 27% of US travelers to Israel tested positive for the virus.



Wow! 27% had the virus. That's huge. All those people taking a plane from our country to theirs! What a disaster!  

But use your common sense. Something must be wrong. Things are bad but not that bad.

I went to the original story in the New York Times. It says:



Ah. Big difference in wording. OF THE PEOPLE TESTING POSITIVE, 27% came from the US.

See what Yahoo did? They changed the sentence around and made the data much more devastating. Totally incorrect. Totally fake.

Welcome to journalism today.




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209,100 If this is what concerns us -- having a face mask to match the bikini -- then we are doomed.




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209,099 10% of China is going back into lockdown mode. That's because they had 100 new cases and they can't handle it. Reopening doesn't work unless you have such a sparse number of cases that you can keep track of them. Like a few dozen cases max. Here in the U.S. We have tens of thousands of new cases per day and a certain political party is telling you reopening will work. Don't be conned. Stay home.


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209,098 A call came in. I didn't recognize the number so I didn't answer. I then googled the number to see who it was. It belongs to a private investigator. WTF?


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209,097 My cum shoots out about a foot. I fondly remember when it used to hit the headboard.


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209,096 I posted on a FB forum how I don't think people should go shopping or have diner at restaurants. Not yet.

A number of people agreed with me. But one guy responded saying I should keep my "asinine opinions" to myself and eating at restaurants is "perfectly fine" and the "fucking Chinese virus" isn't going to kill anyone because it's all a ploy by the liberals.

I checked his personal FB page. It shows him in camo gear holding a gun in one hand and an end-the-shutdown sign in another.

Perfect. If ever you wondered what type of people are behind the protests, well now you know. Don't fall for it. These people are kooks in the worst way. Stay home, stay safe.


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209,095 We can always count on the government to do something idiotic. In my state, the government is keeping track of the number of new cases in each town. They are the official source of all information.

But the way they do it so damned stupid.

For example, they say there have been a cumulative total of 231 cases in my town. That's their terminology... "a cumulative total of 231 cases".

But when I dig down deeper, there have actually been 271 cases. For some reason, the state deletes all deaths from the total. 40 people have died. 271-40 = 231.

But why are dead people no longer counted? Those were cases that happened. They are part of the cumulative total number. But not according to the state.

The reason this came up is because a day earlier we had 233 cases. Hey look, our numbers are going down! We went from 233 to 231. Yay for us! Wait what? A cumulative total can't ever go down. Especially when our numbers are not going down at all.

The day earlier we had 268 cases and 35 deaths. The state foolishly reported that as 233 cases. By the next day we had 271 cases - an increase of 3 - but deaths went up to 40. The state reports that as 231 cases. They make it look like we're doing better when in fact we are doing worse.

If you want something done wrong, look to your government.


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209,094 I've been watching a youtube channel of a family living in a camping trailer. Two adults and three kids crammed into a run down, moldy, leaky, smelly metal box. They have no running water, no electricity, no cooking facilities, and a chemical toilet. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks about calling social services.

Neither parent works because they are occupying themselves trying to build a house. They have no experience building house, but I guess for financial reasons they are trying to build a house on their own. It's been two years.

Recently it was pointed out to me that because of the number of views on their youtube channel, they are earning about $300,000 a year. You freaking kidding me? They have all that income and yet they continue to live this hellish existence with their children.

Why?? They could easier afford to buy a house. But that's the rub. Living so poorly makes for a dramatic story. People tune in. If this couple bought a house and became normal, no one would watch anymore. So they force their kids to live in poverty as a way to keep making a small fortune.

Now more than ever I want to call social services. I also think youtube should be ashamed. They are enabling and profiting from this money driven behavior.



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209,093 This quarantine reinforced my decision to never marry or have children.


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209,092 Repeating pattern. My wife has a new best friend every few months. All the former best friends never stay in touch. They learn how manipulative and troubled my wife is and they run for the hills.

She has known her current best friend du jour for all of two weeks. They met in a bible class. The woman is a needy 82 year old widow, which is twice as old as my wife. Yet my wife now refers to the woman as her best friend. Imagine if you only knew you best friend in the entire world .... for two weeks. She would hardly qualify as an acquaintance let alone your best friend. But this is my wife. She burns through people.


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209,091 It’s so obvious that you fucked our kids speech therapist before dropping off your car. She got off the phone w/me; you guys fucked; then you texted me to ask for a ride. And I thought to myself, “I guess that’s how long it takes them to do their business.” meh. I don’t even care.

Anything that would make it so that you were just not here when I parent the kids. That’s all I want. And to never have to deal w/your family because they are mean, stupid, and fat.


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209,090 The mainstream media is the virus,  the truth is the cure....
Don't believe me?   YouTube...out of shadows  


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209,089 I keep hearing how we have to open up because people need the money. I don't think they are factoring in the cost of their upcoming funeral.


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209,088 Women are meant to be fucked, and men are supposed to fuck several women.  


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209,087 There is too much activity starting up around here. The streets are buzzing with people. My wife will not be contained in isolation anymore. I can't convince her to stay inside any longer. My only avenue for self preservation is to leave. That's what I've decided to do. I'm going to live in my car for a month until things calm down. Heading to the wilderness....


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209,086 My sister-in-law is a self-proclaimed expert on everything. It's interesting to watch. She never went to college. She never had a job. She is surrounded by other family members who are smart and successful. I think what we're seeing is a defense mechanism. Deep down she feels inferior to others. No one tries to intentionally make her feel that way. But she must look and see that everyone else knows things. She wants to be seen in the same light, so she takes the stance of lecturing the rest of us all the time about any topic that comes up. Today she is a medical expert. Yesterday she was an expert at home repair. Before that she was a financial wizard who understands the markets, which is particularly funny seeing that so many in the family are finance professionals. I don't know why they tolerate her. I certainly don't. I'm not mean or condescending to her. But I make a point of spending as little time in the same room with her as possible.

If you want to be seen as a expert, put in a little effort to actually learn what you are talking about!


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209,085 I had a dream that I slept with three guys at once. I took the lead, I ran the show, I finished who I wanted to and when I wanted to. It was a great dream. I just really hope I wasn’t moaning in my sleep next to my husband who hasn’t touched me in months.

I need to find a way to make my dreams happen.


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209,084 In high school during my senior year, I got wasted at a punk show and made out with some boy I met at another show. I ended up dating him out of boredom tbh, but he really caught feelings. I was his first sexual partner and things were great and all....until his weird fetishes started to develop. At first, he wanted to buy me a kitten tail and I was okay with that. I had no interest in petplay but he really insisted. When we couldn’t find one small enough, he wanted a mask...and to finish all over it! I was a bit turned off and would have probably thrown away the mask...but it didn’t end there. He started wanting to lick my armpits! And stick his....there! As well as him asking to be fingered!!!!  I was so turned off, and no matter what, I couldn’t bring myself to continue. He even asked me to marry him “secretly” but I lied and honestly, I spent so much of our relationship cringing at his kinks and lifestyle. He was a year younger than me so when I began to go to college, I cheated on him with older guys when I realized I just wasn’t happy.

Moral of the story is to not stay in a relationship because you feel obligated to stay in it. I understand maybe you’re supposed to want to give in to your partner’s kinks but honestly, I wasn’t even into him to begin with. Be nice out there...and don’t date the guy you made out with drunk without knowing anything about him.


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209,083 I dated a woman for 5 years. This was from when I was 22 to 27. She was my one true love. But things didn't work out. When I was 34 I get a phone call. It's her. She says she's in front of my apartment building and can she come up. Okay. I hadn't seen her in 7 years at that point. She comes up and she's all friendly and warm. She brought a bottle of wine. We drink it. She takes her clothes off and we do the deed. This was so totally unexpected. But I was not complaining.

I called her a few days later. She didn't pick up. I tried a few more times. Nothing. A few weeks went by. I called a mutual friend and asked about her. The friend said it was funny I called, because my ex just got married over the weekend.

Oh. Now I get it.


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209,082 By my observation, people really enjoy being on lockdown while getting their government checks.  Gross.


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209,081 I can't believe people are getting on crowded airplanes. Insane!


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209,080 See, this is the kind of thing my wife does wrong. There are three envelopes on the kitchen table addressed to her three nieces. I ask what's inside. My wife tells me she's sending them money. One is "graduating" 6th grade. Another 9th grade. Another 11th grade. Graduating is of course the wrong word. When you graduate high school, you are a senior heading off to college. It's a big deal. But you don't graduate 6th grade. My wife is just using this as an excuse to send her sister's family money. I asked how much. She's giving each kid $1,000. That's $3000 cash. Which is about $6000 pre-tax. It takes me almost a month of working to make that kind of money. But without even asking, without even discussing, my wife decided to give away our limited funds to her sister's family. It's not like they need the money. They both work. They make much more than we do, especially since my wife refuses to work. My wife is trying to pretend we have money to burn so she's sending a wad to her sister's kids. Without even asking me. It's this kind of arrogance that sets me off.


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209,079 I think I triggered the sequence of events that killed her.  I can't know for 100% certainty, but the math works.  I can't stop thinking about it.  She didn't deserve what happened.
She's my 23 y/o daughter and I miss her so, so, so much.


likes: 0
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209,078 Don't ever be my friend. My friends die. Four and counting.


likes: 1
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209,077 I want to have really rough sex with an alpha male. 30/f


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209,075 All day long men pace back and forth in front of these steps so they can look up your skirt and see your underwear.

Don't ask me how I know....




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209,074 My neighbor uses the water spigot on the side of my house. We've never discussed this. He has a few small gardens around his property. I believe he uses my spigot only for his nearby plantings and he uses his own spigot for things on the other side of his house. I never really minded. But now that we are trying to avoid people, it's odd to look out and see him two feet away from my window. I want to say something, but I don't want to be a bad neighbor. I'm too nice.


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209,073 It's been bad here in the USA. But I think we are beginning to realize it will be so much worse as this thing zonks the poor countries that don't have our extensive network of hospitals. This makes me so sad. India, Africa, South America. Those people had such hard lives to begin with. Now they will be wiped out.


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209,072 There's a story out today saying Trump is taking hydroxychloroquine. It's a dangerous drug. He's using it as a preventative measure, even though there is no data to support that type of usage. There isn't even data to suggest it cures the virus. It's speaks of a paranoia on his part and about not listening to the medical community, yet Trump is making medial decisions for all of us. Scary.


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209,071 My boss is very attractive


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209,070 I'd like to fuck my ex husband one more time.


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209,069 I've been using so much harsh mouthwash that my throat is red and sore. The cure is worse than the potential illness.


likes: 0
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209,068 I just want to be grabbed from behind and choke-fucked again, is that too much to ask?


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209,067 I am 35 & not in terrible shape. I have had 3 kids, and I want to tone up some. I’m 5 ft 6 in and weigh 128 lbs. I’m not unhappy with the number, I just have a belly pooch. I want to firm it up. Everything I’ve read on forums is that you can’t target one single area. I am happy with the rest of my body-& I really don’t want to lose weight in other areas, or muscle.
Any tips??


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209,066 The moderator of this site is a stupid cunt!!


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209,065 I want you. I hope you know that.


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209,064 I feel like I want to die but  I don’t want to hurt those around me by committing suicide. But the way things are going right now I don’t think there’s any point to life anymore.


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209,062 People seem to want to stay closed for as long as possible. That way the government can take care of them. I feel like more and more people are OK with this and it’s terrifying.


likes: 3
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209,060 You seem like an insightful person who’s also a judgemental asshole. I like your drawings. They give me a new perspective on things. They’re quite popular. You as a person seem intolerable. Know those people who always think they’re the most aware / smartest / most in-tune person in the room? That’s you. Really you’re just an Instagram cartoonist who spends all day thinking about yourself.


likes: 1
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209,059 I love it when white women rail about the evils of white men and expect me to smile and nod along. Sweetie, you’re white too. You’re part of the problem. Sincerely a black man


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209,058 I jack off to your workout pics on Insta. I know you’re into me. Just know that if you ever asked I’d happily blow a load all over your face and tits. You just have to ask.


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209,057 Fascism is growing within our society under the guise of progress. I am so glad I do not have children.


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209,055 I want to be laid off... its something that will force a tough reevaluation of my life and choices. Yeah I know it sounds stupid if me to ask but I'm super not happy with where I'm at.


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209,054 There is scary footage of protesters harassing a reporter. The reporter keeps asking one particularly menacing jerk to back away, but the protester keeps coming at the reporter. It was a threatening terrorist type act. If a protester did that to me, I'd feel my life was in jeopardy, and I'd put a bullet between his eyes.


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209,053 The day will come when I close my eyes for eternity, and we’ll be together once again. It’s my only comfort.


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209,052 I’m most attracted to Indian women. White women are nice, especially those with curly red hair. Black women are scrumptious, especially those with tight asses. Asian women are great, especially those with perky tits and taught nipples. But the best? Give me that brown fuzzy Indian all day. The perfect skin tone, the perfect amount of hair down there, the perfect blend of submission and obedience. I love their brown nipples and I love their sense of sexual openness, especially the ones who’ve recently (within the last 5 years) immigrated to the US. They’re perfect. I hope to marry one of them one day and give them children.




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209,051 I wish my husband would hug me when I cry. He just ignores me. Doesn't even ask why I'm crying :(


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209,050 Her doberman wandered into a neighbor's yard and the neighbor shot it dead. She wants us to feel sorry for her.

Sorry, but dobermans are vicious attack dogs. I'm not a fan of shooting a dog. But I can understand where the neighbor is coming from.

If you don't want your attack dog / pet to get shot, keep him off other people's property! Or do you not have to follow simple rules because you are a celebrity. Figures.


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209,049 My wife lies about virus issues. In the past she lied all the time about silly things, like how much money she spent. We had many arguments over it. It was very frustrating. But now she is lying about something as serious as this virus. She went out shopping without a mask and gloves, but lied and said she did have them. She arranged to meet up with a friend and go running together, except she lied and said she was running alone. This is so not acceptable. If she wants to be a dishonest person and lie about money, well it means she has a questionable character. But to lie about the virus that could make others sick, that is so out of bounds. That's more than questionable. That's evil. I can't trust her. Trust is everything in a marriage. This is the final straw.


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209,048 I don't think there is any sperm in my semen. Seems like only water is coming out. It's not thick and creamy like I see in porn.


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209,047 I told my ex how I wanted to be satisfied sexually. He told me that it (my body) doesn’t work that way and didn’t even try to please me. He never tried.


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209,046 Have you figured it out yet? Law enforcement is my friend.


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209,045 Storm Normandy? Fuck ya, we're in. Ration for the war? Of course! Spend TRILLIONS protecting against terrorists armed with AKs and box cutters? Hey, you do what you gotta do. Probe and fondle every last air traveller? Why not, do you hate freedom?

But wear a mask? Fuck to the no! Too far! I won't sacrifice my comfort! We gotta take guns to the statehouse, threaten the governer, allow hundreds of thousands to die needlessly. Anything to avoid putting a bit of cloth around my face for a little while.

If we can't do this simple thing we don't stand a fucking chance.


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209,044 One thing the internet has cost me is confidence in and respect for cops. I am a 5’2” white woman and have always, save one incident, had cops treat me well. I had no idea what a bunch of bullying, racist thugs most of them are.


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209,042 Headline: At least 6 countries reimposed lockdown measures as new coronavirus cases flared up again.

Let's learn from this. The USA is flirting with disaster if we re-open now. If those 6 other countries, starting from a place of fewer cases, if they had to shut down again, imagine how much worse it will be in the USA with all our may cases.


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209,041 I enjoy being in the hot seat. As a kid I competed in all sorts of intense challenges. I got used to the pressure. I thrived on it. As an adult, give me a difficult situation where everyone is watching. I'll take it and not flinch.


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209,040 I could never adequately express how I really feel about you. To this day, this gives me the greatest degree of indigestion.


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209,039 My wife, contributing to social distancing, shared with me that she had canceled her monthly massage appointments in April and May.  My first thought was "big deal, some sacrifice."  Then she continued and informed me that the massage place was actually closed during those months.  And then I was thinking "you still want credit for your heroism?"  But I said nothing.  If she feels good about herself, who am I to rain on her parade?


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209,038 Stop jogging. Do squats from home!


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209,037 You said a couple of months ago you wouldn’t bother me anymore, yet here you are today asking if I wouldn’t mind explaining why I won’t reply to the messages you’ve sent between then and now. I do mind. You’re not getting another word from me. You shamelessly told disgusting lies and only felt sorry that you were caught. I don’t have time for people who lie to me. I don’t have time for your bullshit. You are trash, and you can fuck right off and stop bothering me for real now.


likes: 0
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209,036 I think people who get up early are better human beings compared to people who stay up late. Me, I stay up late.


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209,035 I have no idea where my gun is. Last I remember I put it in a packing box before we moved. Which means it could be in the basement or the attic. I have no clue. I should probably find it and put it somewhere safe.


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209,034 I worry about things because I fear if I don't, then the thing I'm worried about will happen. It's as if worrying creates a protective shield. Like it would be too coincidental that I worry about getting bone cancer and then it happens. That could never be the case. So I worry to make sure the thing doesn't happen.

If ever I don't worry about something, then it can happen. Therefore I need to worry about everything.


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209,033 I bought a lot of toilet paper. I had a good reason to, though. My husband went out of town for work in March, right before all of this got real. I knew he'd be home the 2nd week of May, for three weeks. Sure enough, just over one week home and we're almost through our third roll. The amount he uses is flabbergasting.


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209,032 I would never live off-grid because I would never use a composting toilet. I have my dignity to consider.


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209,031 I don't think restaurants are going to make it financially on just takeout and outdoor dining. For one thing, what happens on rainy days, and in the winter, there can be no outdoor dining. For another thing, patrons aren't going to pay $30 for a steak if they have to bring it home before eating, at which point it will be cold. It's okay if you bring a pizza home and it's kinda warm-ish. Hey, at $1 a slice no one really cares. But the fancier restaurants? No, they need their food experience to live up to the $30 price tag.

I think many restaurants will be out of business by the end of this year. Without restaurants, there will be fewer people taking a casual stroll along Main Street, so little shops will also suffer. This will be a further blow to small town life - stores were already hurting because of Amazon.

Life will never be the same.


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209,030 It’s fine if my husband wants to frequent massage parlors and pay for something he could get for free if only he had charisma.
He can now pay for nights out and weekends away for my future boyfriend. ;)


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209,029 I have a few voice mails from a friend who has since died. I listen to his messages sometimes.


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209,028 I moved my car for the first time in several months. The tires had a flattened side. They made a terrible thump thump thump noise. I had to drive for a few minutes before they became round again. More headaches from this shut down. It just keeps going. Be aware though, as you drive your car again, there might be a thump thump thump!


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209,027 I drink a lot of liquids everyday. Between the coffee (decaf), iced tea, and seltzer, I'd say about a gallon. It means I pee a lot. I wasn't really conscious of how many times I pee until I was forced to stay home. Now I notice how often I get up for the bathroom. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. I want to think all the liquids keep me well hydrated and all my internal chemistry working. But then again, maybe I'm overworking my kidneys. I don't know. Any advice?


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209,026 I assume every celebrity death I see in the news is covid related.


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209,025 I had a very disturbing call with my doctor's office. The receptionist called and said I needed to make an appointment to come in within the next two weeks. I asked why. She said it was time for my yearly checkup. I said I was just there in January. All was well. Back then, their office insisted I make my appointment for next year  Which I did. It's in the first week of January 2021. So why do I have to come in now? It's only May.

In a moment of honesty she explained no patients are coming in. The office needs patients to stay afloat.

I appreciated them being forthright, but really? I need to leave my self isolation, and risk exposure, especially going to a doctors office where there are sick people, all so the doctor can make more money?

I told them it aint gonna happen. There's no way I've stayed isolated for so long just to throw away that peace of mind to go to an annual physically 7 months early. Not happening.

The receptionist told me my prescription needs to be renewed so I have to come in. I didn't appreciate her comment. It sounded like a threat to me. Like they won't renew my blood pressure meds if I don't come in and give them money. I've never before been required to come in only a few months after my last visit. My insurance won't even cover the visit. They only cover one visit a year. I told all this to the receptionist. She seemed peeved and quickly hung up.

That was a new low. A doctor wants to put me at risk so he can get paid. Wow. I think it's time for a new doctor.


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209,024 If you dont want to fuck your wife because she got fat, I will be the one fucking her now. I'll even give her a delicious creampie in her pussy . I'll make sure she cums so much that she will call me again each time you are away.

Sincerely,  a man that loves fat women. ᖟᶐ!


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209,023 Your grandfather's generation was called up to fight a war. They sat in muddy foxholes for several years while the enemy bombarded them with bullets, grenades, and mustard gas.

You are being asked to sit on your couch and watch Netflix for a few months. You can do this.


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209,022 I posted on the town forum that a restaurant was open and serving customers for sit down dining even though it is currently not permitted. I included a photo. The admins immediately deleted my post. I contacted them privately and asked why. They said the forum can only have positive news about local businesses. Really, there is illegal activity that could make people sick, but I can't mention it? How crazy! I hate forums.


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209,021 Lock down has killed my libido.


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209,020 My wife is not talking to me again today. I have no idea why. She is a child. I just shrug and walk away. I looked up divorce info for my state. Everything is closed. All divorces are on hold. The legal community suggests waiting til the courts open up again. It could be months away. Damn.


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209,019 There's a tasteless and inappropriate show on ABC tonight. It was billed as some communal high school graduation ceremony to celebrate all the students in 12th grade who can't have an actual commencement event this year. But in reality, it's a campaign rally for the democrats, complete with a voter registration drive and a not so subtle suggestion to replace the current president.

Fuck you ABC and all democrats. How dare you use my son's graduation as a ruse to further your political agenda. People are sick and dying, everyone is emotionally vulnerable, and you think that's a fine time to manipulate them for your cause. You are lower than low.


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209,018 I think she's lying about her weight. She says she still weighs the same as two months ago, but I can see the fat bulges.


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209,017 It's boiling hot in here. I'm too afraid to turn on the AC because it sucks in air from outside. I'm also not going to open a window for the same reason. I'm literally going to sweat this out.


likes: 0
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209,016 I once made out with another guy while my girlfriend was passed out drunk n the couch next to us.


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209,015 My great grandfather's 1947 Ford tractor still runs. My two year old lawnmower doesn't. Piece of junk. Things used to be built to last. But these days things are built to break down so you'll buy a new one and spend more money. The man wants his profits.


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209,014 Why would anyone go to the movies? Seriously, you couldn't just stay home and stream it?


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209,013 During a typical argument I want to tell him I cheated. But I don't. I'm saving it for a bigger occasion.


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209,012 My wife and I rented a beach house on the outer banks for the summer. We'd invite couple friends to come for the week. It had an outdoor shower. From my bedroom window I could see down into the shower. A number of times I'd watch the female guests. I saw half a dozen of these women naked. We are still very friendly with the couples today. They have no idea I spied on them.


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209,011 Did you ever come clean to your ex that you slept with his brother a month before you got married?
I mean you told him about your multiple affairs, figure you should probably tell him everything at this point.


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209,010 Every tinder profile says “420 friendly.” Cool, so am I. But you’re just some random chick from a dating app. What, did you think I was going to roll you a joint and then make a pass at you? Did you think that you could get high for free while someone flirted with you? Fuck no. I work for a living. I spend my money on my weed. Bring your own and we’ll smoke together, but I’m not giving you any of my stash. We live in Alabama. Loud is hard enough to come by as is. Christ, you all think you’re so slick.


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209,008 I squirted all over your ex last night. It was leg quaking and breath taking sex! Eat your heart out ;) thank goodness you threw away the best thing that could have ever happened to you.


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209,007 My boyfriend. He had a problem tonight, a big one, that required mine, and a couple he has been friends with since long before I came along, help to solve. You know the kind of problem I’m talking about, folks. The kind that is best handled by real friends and requires half a day of undivided attention and true loyalty to be truly well handled. Nothing dark just a very personal issue that no professional is equipped to fix.  He trusted us three and we did it.

He came home to everything solved, and is thankful. I just happened to see a text he just sent to the couple where he thanks them profusely and says he’s about to have a surprise for them soon and to accept his gratitude. And he mentioned me as well...he said “and of course I am so thankful for (her), she has added a new and beautiful dimension to my life and i don’t know what I would do without her now that I know I can really trust her. It’s just incredible...”

Um...WOW.  Wowwww. I’m pretty damn sure no one has ever said such a meaningful thing about ME. We are relaxing and listening to a very nice Neil Young album and he’s taking a well deserved hot shower right now. I am getting my shower soon after his is done. My secret?

My secret is that I’ve been sad for YEARS. Years. So many bullshit lovers, so many blows to my confidence. So many stood up nights. So many fake declarations followed by real betrayals that left me deeply saddened. I never thought I would heal from all this hurt ever, or even gradually, let alone that I would see something a partner said about me “behind my back” that resulted in getting to feel all that pain flow from me All at once like dirty bath water warmly draining from a deep tub of Heartbreak...carried away forever to join all the other grey water to a place where it can be forgotten about and never seen again. It was so incredibly cleansing to know he feels this way about me. He gave me a chance to do something important for him and if I’d screwed it up out of not caring about him much he would have had something to lose. I feel like A new person just about. It’s incredible.

He trusts me. HE TRUSTS ME. And God help me, everyone. I love him. I love him so very very much. Man, I am so in love with him. It feels so fucking wonderful to have this complete feeling and to be in love after so long. Oh, my goodness... I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM!

Thank you to the universe for this. I’m happy. I’m happy for real and it’s nearly overwhelming to be happy. Ohhh good God I Love Him!

I am bursting and I will tell him what I just told you guys. I’m not afraid at all. I just have to tell him that I love him. I can’t wait!


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209,006 I got my nipples pierced right before the virus hit my country. They’re now healed. When I go into public (just for foodstuffs) I feel so much more sexy knowing that people can see my piercings! It’s my one happy quarantine moment.


likes: 4
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209,005 I have been flirting with my dead friend's wife. This is a probably a terrible idea. But she's alone and I'm alone and we have so much in common, including a fondness for my dead friend.


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209,004 Is there life after death? I really want to know what people think.


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209,003 Finally! The report is out! I wonder what killed them. Brain tumor? Kidney failure? High Cholesterol?

Your tax dollars at work.




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209,002 I'm thinking about stocking my car with tons of food, packing a sleeping bag, a camping toilet, a portable shower bag, and driving as far into the wilderness as I can.


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209,001 .... on the kitchen counter woohoo!


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209,000 Reporter Jessica Snouwaert, what is your problem?

The Zuckerbergs just donated $800,000 to struggling restaurants and you try to spin it as something negative? I think you are what's wrong with journalism today.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/mark-zuckerberg-priscilla-chans-800-190506572.html


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208,999 On the plus side, I haven't had to iron any clothes in two months!