secrets




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206,804 I used to finger my sister's dolls.


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206,803 I am becoming a cam girl.


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206,802 I am a thin, fit, attractive, feminine 28 year old lesbian. All I want is to find a woman that we both mutually enjoy fucking eachother and exploring with different things.. like at this age in my life, I just want a sex adventure buddy. ᖟᶐ-


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206,800 I love double headed dildo’s and I want want my ass right now


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206,799 I'm 23 and have cheated on basically every boyfriend I've ever had. I didn't mean to do it. Or did I? I could blame it on my daddy issues ("My mama raised me right but I wanna be a hoe like my daddy!") or my secretly selfish personality. I could blame it on my constant insecurity from fear of being abandoned again but I really don't know. I know people who cheat have something psychologically wrong with them..but how many years of therapy will it take?


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206,798 I look forward to pooping, then wiping/itching the inside of my bunghole.  It feels SOOOO GOOOOD.


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206,797 Is it really that morally wrong if an ex offers you money to spend the night with them?


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206,796 How do I go about selling nude or feet photos online? I am so broke I am seriously considering this.


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206,795 I was reading an article about how cursive writing has gone out of style so I tried writing something in script. It looked like I wrote it while suffering a stroke! I probably haven't written cursive since high school!
M-59yo


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206,794 I have one friend who talks WAAAAAY too much. I swear I could take a nap while on the phone with her and when I wake up she would still be talking.


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206,793 A much younger lady I know was very overweight in high school. She's a very nice person. In college, she lost a lot of weight and became fairly attractive. She had a boyfriend and they got engaged.

Then she started gaining weight back. Like, a lot of the weight.

About six months before the wedding, her fiance broke off the engagement. The poor young lady was crushed. She didn't know why it happened.

I wasn't going to say it, but I'm fairly certain it was because the fiance saw she was becoming fat again, and didn't want that in a marriage.

She has another boyfriend and things are going well for her now. But I'm sure in the back of her mind she knows why she got dumped.


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206,792 The worst customers I deal with are usually from Texas or Florida. I have no idea why either. Never been to either place, but the manners are simply nonexistent. Maybe the stupid ones travel, and the smart ones stay back in their state..


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206,791 The loneliness is surrounding me. It hurts me so much at the core level that my whole body is sad and feels deprived. All I want is to be loved and feel love. I am giving up on find my one true love. I don’t think he exists any more. I just want to feel loved again.


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206,790 Oh no Waylon. Why did you lie to me yet again? What is your major malfunction? Why do you always let me down?  And a top of it why do you turn it around and play the victim when I’m not OK with it? Something is very wrong with your head, and I don’t care to be around to find out what it is. You fucked up, and all I can do now is protect myself from whatever it is that makes you so sick inside. We’re done. You only build me up to bring me down And tonight is the last time you’ll ever do it because I’m blocking you. That should’ve happened a long time ago but I guess I just wasn’t ready. Better Late than never. Goodbye, forever.


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206,789 Oh no Waylon. Why did you lie to me yet again? What is your major malfunction? Why do you always let me down?  And a top of it why do you turn it around and play the victim when I’m not OK with it? Something is very wrong with your head, and I don’t care to be around to find out what it is. You fucked up, and all I can do now is protect myself from whatever it is that makes you so sick inside. We’re done. You only build me up to bring me down And tonight is the last time you’ll ever do it because I’m blocking you. That should’ve happened a long time ago but I guess I just wasn’t ready. Better Late than never. Goodbye, forever.


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206,788 Two anonymous people with whom I'm not Facebook friends are consistently looking at my Facebook stories.  I keep my profile mostly public.  You can see who's looked at your story for the 24 hours it's up - if it's a random stranger, then at the bottom you'll see "Other - 1" or "Other - 2" listed at the bottom.  

I thought it might be a bot, so I've been running a test where I'll post a picture of either funny text exchanges, pictures of my kids, or pictures of my face in some way.  Every time I post a text exchange or my kids' pictures, these anonymous strangers don't look at the story.  But if I post a picture of my face, I'll see either 1 or both of these anonymous people show up.  

It's been this way since about May, a month after I started using the Facebook story feature.  Over Thanksgiving, neither person viewed my story that had a picture of my face.  I figure neither were around.

I wonder who these people are.  I'm not friends with them and I don't allow followers on my page.  Two people are specifically searching for me, and then looking at the pics of me while ignoring the other pics.  Strange.


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206,787 I do not understand egg nog. It tastes awful. Why do people drink it?


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206,786 I just read that Peloton lost about $1.5M in stock after that commercial.  I thought it was a cute commercial.  I mean really, I know a number of women who are asking for a Peloton for Christmas, because that thing isn't cheap.  I guess the company should have had the forethought to maybe add in there that it's something the wife wanted, rather than opening up for speculation that the husband "wanted a thin wife."  That's where we are in this world, which is such a shame.

When I was pregnant, I gained a lot of weight towards the end.  I had a birthday the month before the baby's due date.  My SO knew what I wanted for my birthday, but he only got me one thing, and it was something I hadn't asked for.  He gave me a workout video.  THAT'S something to bitch about, not a dumb commercial.


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206,785 I’ll never understand how people can know each other for a few months, and then have a baby together. stop doing that. It usually never works out, and that’s why you’re a single mom now. You look dumb. Get a hobby, and keep your legs closed. Men too. Keep your d*ck in your pants. Overpopulated world as it is.


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206,783 My son's name was Eleanor Jane. At least that's what the 100 birth announcements said because the ultra sound doctor told me I was having a girl. It was quite a surprised to see my newborn baby girl had a penis. Luckily for my son, I printed up 100 new birth announcements telling of the arrival of Edward James. :)


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206,782 I don't swallow. Not gonna happen. I'll blow you, but your goo is your own.


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206,781 I grew up on Indian reservations. I never get to tell people. I'm white. My dad worked for the US Gov. in the Indian Affairs Department. To look at me you would think I grew up in waspy Connecticut. Always throws people when they do learn of my background. Most of my friends from back then were Indians. Many are dead now.


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206,780 The last few nights I couldn't sleep that well.  Except last night.  Yesterday I was on my tablet a lot less, and hours before bedtime.  I think that's it, these devices the more you are on them through the day, and the closer to when you go to sleep, the more your sleep is messed up.


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206,779 I have multiple advanced degrees and an IQ well into the genius range.  I advise senior government officials on critical issues in my field.  My personal input has saved the taxpayers probably close to a half-billion dollars by now and prevented years of delays from occurring.  I am respected in my field to say the least.

So here's a crazy secret I've never told a soul except my mom and my wife...

For some reason, since I was 15 years old, I have been visited by religious spirits.  Yep - angels and the Lord Himself.  The demonic, twice.  My guess is probably over 40 times.  Mostly under the age of 25, when I was very sick and close to death and wondering why I was being left alive in terrible pain and not allowed to die.

The first experience was right before I started getting sick when I was 15.  It was all set off with something demonic.  I can't describe the feeling of evil that permeates from them.  It "drips" off of them.  It "slimes" from them.  It's like being approached and stalked by an unstoppable predator that will tear you body to shreds.  Sheer terror... but it ends immediately when you call out to God.

Archangel Michael, I've "met" him twice.  Once at 15 (he stopped the demonic experience), and again at 35.  Explosive, blinding light accompanies his entrance.  The power is incredible.  It's like there's this absolute confidence that accompanies his presence, but it's more than that because "confidence" implies that there's a challenge to overcome... it's more like "justice," the "presence of truth," like there is absolutely no chance of anything defeating him.  But his voice... it's almost comically manly.  Like this exaggerated manliness.  I had to chuckle a bit because his voice reminded me of the "Captain Hero" character from the Comedy Central cartoon "Drawn Together."  It's funny because Captain Hero is this huge pervert on the show - "No, I wasn't just about to sling some yogurt on this passed-out lady's feet..."  But Michael... he loves people, at least me I suppose.  You can feel his joy at being around people.  It's like nothing makes him happier than being able to crush God's enemies who attack mankind.  I told my wife that it's like this child-like excitement he has for doing that.  

A few assorted angels, too.  Not many.  It amazes me how they all have distinct personalities.  They do their job and leave anonymously.  It's clear they have no desire for any recognition, like the concept of sticking around to be thanked is alien to them.  One did his job and stuck around for a few moments because he knew I could feel his presence.  I could tell he didn't know what to do except stand there because he wasn't used to being directly communicated with by humans.  There was this awkward feeling coming from him.  I asked him why God made him an angel but he made me a human - why am I the one who has to risk Hell?  He responded with the most incredible thing I've ever heard: "I don't know."  God is even a mystery to the angels.  His voice was soft and gentle, certainly not the amped up voice of Michael.  Completely different.

Second demon appeared six feet in front of me and walked by me in my basement when I was about 43.  But I felt no fear.  No fear at all.  It was no more a shock to me than seeing a bug flying through the house.  It took me a few weeks before I even realized I should have been terrified.  But I can only guess God was near me.

Speaking of which, there's nothing more terrifying than the presence of God.  Even the gentle, loving presence of God will curl you up on the floor shaking in fear.  He probably came to me close to 30 times when I was younger and sick.  The presence of love is overwhelming.  But even then, you're still entirely your own person when you're around Him.  It's like He wants you to be the person you have created yourself to be.  He never told me I had to do anything or be anything - at most, He would make a suggestion that left the end decision to me.  The few words He said to me, all of them had this cascading series of interlocking truths to them that have stayed relevant for almost 30 years.  I once felt His disappointment once when I tried to overdose from depression.  He asked me why I felt I needed to do these things to myself.  That was all it took for me to know that I needed to shape up.

The interesting thing about the angels and demons is that they're very "separate" beings from you.  It's clear that they're distinct creatures.  But God's presence permeates your being.  It's almost "invasive" in a sense.  When God is present like that, it's like there is nothing else in the universe that exists, except for you and Him.

So, when I'm in the office working to save you taxpayers a few tens of millions of dollars here and there and receiving the accolades of my superiors, those are the secrets I think about.


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206,778 When I’m sick, I’m pissed. WASH YOUR GERMY HANDS, AND STAY HOME!!! Nobody wants to be sick. Makes me want to cough all over everything at the store, because people irritate me. Take my sickness, assholes.


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206,777 Here we go again. From the U.S. Postal Service. They give us two ways to look up a zip code.

A) You can either enter a street address, city and state.

Or

B) The second way to FIND THE ZIP CODE is to enter the street address and ZIP CODE.

So you have to enter the zip code in order to find out what it is. Ok... millennials.




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206,776 7 days late.

I will not be someone’s mother. I would rather eat a burning coal, and have my insides ruined than carry a human. I don’t like people, and babies are no different. NEXT.


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206,775 I'd say 90% of my fellow passengers on this cruise ship are obese.


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206,774 I know some big words from all the reading I do but I never use them in public because I'm afraid I'll use them wrong.


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206,773 My friend is incapacitated with chemo. :( She is going to recover, I know in my heart she will. But until then she can't do much more than lay in bed all day.

The other morning while she was napping, and her husband was at work, and her children were at school, a magic elf secretly showed up at her house with a Christmas tree and presents for the entire family. Because this is what magic elves do.

I'm told the husband cried when he saw everything. Which is making me cry thinking about it.

Sometimes it's tough being a magic elf.....
.


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206,772 The resident FB attention seeker posted a video of her deodorant. Sigh.

I feel so sad for her.


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206,771 I can't believe I drove by your place last night.  I haven't driven by a crush's house in 20 years.  

But it's not like I drove the full 25 miles from my house.  I was in the area and less than 3 miles away anyway.  I also couldn't go home yet.

It's just the fact that I even did it that makes me feel dumb.  And the fact that I'm married to someone else.


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206,768 The world would be a better place if Chick-Fil-A was open on Sundays.


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206,767 I am so angry right now. If I knew now, back in the day. I don’t think o would be where I am at today. I would have had a great family. I would be in love. Now I have given up on love and I just don’t have the energy to fight any longer.  Why fight for something that I will not get positive reactions.  I have been so use to negative reinforcement that I am afraid it has killed my ambitious side of me. Why work hard, if I  only going to get yelled at and put down. Why?  I am done. I  over this and I have never felt the loneliness like i do now.


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206,766 Ah, so Trump is now in trouble because his salt and pepper shakers are a different size than the guy sitting next to him. You fucking kidding me? What, like Trump shouldn't be re-elected because someone placed a larger salt shaker by his plate? Maybe this is new grounds for impeachment? Should we spend another $40 million to investigate?

Jesus, has all of journalism gone down the toilet?

https://www.yahoo.com/news/trumps-salt-pepper-shakers-tower-214306614.html




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206,765 I wonder if our government is secretly subsidizing family DNA test kits, not because they want you to know your family's genealogy, but because they want your DNA in their database.


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206,764 I am possibly not right in the head. I have strange thoughts. Some of my thoughts include violence towards others who piss me off. Please someone tell me this is normal. Do we all think this way at times but catch ourselves before acting out?  


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206,763 I love Trump, but all my friends hate him, so I don't bring it up.
I love him for :
*my Mutual Funds in the Stock Market are GREAT
*His toughness, and reaching out to World Leaders (not always positive, but he's done some great stuff with some)
* Unemployment dropped DRASTICALLY

My friends hate him because:
* "He's gross looking"
* "He doesn't respect women"


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206,762 I read an article about the six types of bad friends.

The flaky friend - doesn't show up for dinner.

The reckless friend - gets me to do dangerous things, like drink and drive.

The energy vampire - sucks the happiness out of me by always being a downer.

The attention seeker - making big drama out of minor issues.

The competitor - yes, your children are better than mine...

The no-effort friend - I plan a birthday party for her, she doesn't even call me on my birthday.

I have all six of these friends in my circle. I need to do a little house cleaning.


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206,761 Whenever the phone rings and it's a wrong number, I get a little worried it's a setup. It's some entity trying to determine if I'm home so they can barge in the door and kidnap me.


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206,760 I took a shower on Wednesday morning. On Wednesday night I jerked off in my bed and fell asleep. On Thursday I lazed around the house. Here it is Friday afternoon and I still haven't bathed. To compound things, I'm not circumcised. I must be scary ripe down there. I'm kind of afraid to find out.  


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206,759 I think we all can agree, the world's a mess. So much anger and hate these days.

What if... Jesus was supposed to born 30 years ago so he could lead us away from our dark path.... but some woman aborted him?




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206,758 I see why people believe in a higher power or god or Jesus.
Jesus is someone they say loves me no matter what.
What religion has tried to tell me since I was a child is that Jesus is someone who accepts me for me despite all my faults and shortcomings.
Sometimes when I am in my darkest throes of sadness, I imagine he is there, hugging me and telling me he loves me just as I am.
And I can only cry. Because I don’t believe in god. I understand why other people do, but I can’t. I wish I had that ability to be comforted by someone that isn’t here.
Nobody loves me. I am not beloved by anyone in this world.


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206,757 I hate my husband.
The first chance I have to fuck around, I’m seeing it as the universe giving me a sign, or god answering a long lost prayer.
I gave up on god ever granting me someone who loves me, so I’ll settle for the dick.


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206,756 I remember how hard it was for me to take my eyes off you. You had to know I was fucked up over you.


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206,755 I miss having sex with him. Sucking and swallowing him, feeling him inside me while he wraps his hands in my hair. I always wanted to see how we looked together-- his dark skin and my pale skin.

It's my birthday and I just want to be fucked and kissed deeply.


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206,754 I often feel like some of the secrets are aimed at me. Both good ones and bad ones. I know this is statistically impossible. It says something about how we are all similar.


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206,753 I'm tired of being thin and exercising every day. I want to pig out and not worry about looks anymore.


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206,752 I hated every second of tonight. I still love you


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206,750 N, I have some serious thoughts about us.  Like, I am legitimately feeling what could be described as Love for you.  If I told you that, you’d Crumble it up like a piece of paper, and throw it back in my face, saying it’s too soon for that to be real or some shit. But it’s real. All I ever want is to see you happy. And your son, man...my god he is a great kid! I know not perfect but no one is. Overall, he is a fine boy and I feel you are a terrific dad.  My wildest fantasies involve me being there for both of you and being a daily presence in your lives.   But I know you’re still on the dating app, you were online just 17 mins ago.  Admittedly that stings when I see you’re still on there. I can only guess you’re hoping for something better or easier than me. I wish I knew what you really thought of me. As for what I think...you make me want to REALLY be a better person each day .  You inspire a selfless side of me I’m not used to seeing so Often.  Our chemistry is just in-Fucking-real and your hands on me turn me into a puddle of my former self, right at your feet.  But...then there’s your daily attitude.  I don’t know if I can sustain your pessimism and it seems to be an outlook you have adopted permanently.  It’s difficult to hear you complaining about how much your day is gonna suck before you’ve even woken up and stood up to start your day. I feel like when I spend the night you are more tolerant of waking up next to me than happy to see me there. It hurts to feel nothing I do makes a difference to you at all. But I Love you. Both of you. I can’t tell you that to your face so I’ll say it here. Please don’t be such a negative person every day, it clouds my mood as well and it will eventually cause us to be apart when I have had enough.  Assuming you haven’t already had enough of me, that is...but I’d love to be done looking for my baby. I’d love for you to be that one I can’t see my life without. It hurts to think of losing you even if I already have. I wish I knew what to do and if you will ever love me.


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206,749 Every time something good happens to me, something bad happens to me. I think this is how the universe works.


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206,748 I don't want another person to tell me that I should start selling my art or "put myself out there." Whenever I do just that, crickets. Nada. No one's offering to buy anything and no one even cares. Maybe it will be worth something when I'm dead.


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206,747 Weed...better than Xanax.  
Float on a cloud, still feel it in the morning.


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206,746 I'm not sure what to make of this. My daughter is applying to college early decision.She finds out mid December whether or not she is accepted to her dream school. Today I received a letter from the IRS. They were informing me that an educational institution has accessed my online tax returns from last year. The dream school was the only place I authorized to access the tax returns, they needed the docs for financial aid consideration. Now why would they bother looking at my taxes unless they have already decided to accept my daughter? They wouldn't look at the finances of a student they were rejecting right? I don't want to get my hopes up, but this could be a very good sign!  


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206,745 I bought a ton of christmas presents for my wife thru Amazon.com. Then I realized my computer was logged into Amazon through her account. This meant she would get emails confirming the order and showing when the items were shipped. These surprise presents would no longer be a surprise. Frantic, I deleted all the emails in her gmail account. Then I changed the settings in her Amazon account so all future emails and text messages would come to me. I also changed her password so she couldn't look in and see any pending orders. Great plan. Except everyday she is moaning about how for some reason she can't get into her Amazon account anymore. She wants me to look and see if I can fix it. I outright lie and say I don't know what's going wrong. But it's lying for a good cause. Hopefully God understands.


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206,744 I get obsessed about little things. These are inconsequential trivialities which consume my thoughts. I will beep at a car that cuts me off. Then my mind takes over. What if the bad driver is a serial killer. What if he starts following me home. He will come back in the middle of the night and kill me. I can't sleep that night. This is only one example. There are many more. The barrista at the coffee shop doesn't like me. I know this because she didn't smile at me. Maybe she put cyanide in my coffee. I know I'm being irrational. It doesn't stop the worries though.


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206,743 The english food known as "black pudding" is possibly the worst thing ever to enter my mouth.


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206,742 “I can do all things with...”
Yes, like steal another woman’s husband.
We never had a chance to solve problems with your interference.


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206,741 I work in the sign business. With election season upon us I am printing lots of lawn signs for various candidates. What I want to know is: Has anyone EVER been convinced to vote for someone because of a sign on their neighbor's lawn?


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206,740 I believe beef jerky causes cancer. It's meat that doesn't spoil. I don't know what's in it, but I don't think it can be anything good for you.


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206,739 I'm getting my wife a bunch of sexy thongs for Christmas.

She's going to be so pissed.


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206,738 I can pay $15 a month to subscribe to a service where I get a few audio books a month.

Or I can get audio books from the library for free.

Gee, what should I do......


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206,737 I have never been  loved by my family. According to them, my life is not as important as there’s. I have so much love to give and I have not received love in return. If I did, it was with conditions. Now I am alone and I am afraid that I will never be loved by another except for my dog.


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206,736 A cop is under investigation for fondling a dead woman's breasts. Of course he shouldn't do that. But being honest with myself, if I was in the same situation, the thought would occur to me too.


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206,735 You bought a new rake today. Thank you for sharing with the entire town on Facebook. We will all sleep better tonight.


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206,734 I walked into the bank. I needed some cash. I thought I'd make a withdrawal from my account. And in fact, that's what I did.

A month after the fact, some of my enemies heard I went to the bank and they suggested my real intention was to rob the place. There's no evidence to back up their claim. The bank was not robbed. No witness came forward saying he heard me talking about wanting to rob the bank. There is  just unfounded conjecture by people who weren't even there, "Well I think he was going to rob the bank."

Still, there's a trial. The trial is controlled by enemies. They call expert witnesses. These experts confirm that robbing a bank is a crime. They don't have any evidence that was my plan. They just confirm that robbing a bank is a crime.

So should I go to jail for robbing the bank?


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206,733 I ordered an item from Amazon. They charged me three times for it. After a few days they caught the error and reversed one of the charges. But they didn't catch the 2nd overcharge. I called the company. I thanked them for reversing one of the charges, but said they need to reverse two of the charges. They said they did reverse one of the charges. Ummm, yes yes, but you charged me THREE times, therefore you need to reverse TWO of the charges.They just couldn't seem to get their head around this very simple idea. They kept saying they did reverse the charge. Arg. I asked them why they charged me three times to begin with? They had no explanation. Round and round it went. I'm going to wait a few days and then look again. This shouldn't be so hard. I think I prefer the old way of going to a store and paying cash.


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206,732 I get a weird email from my bank saying there is possible fraud on my card. I call the bank. They ask me for my PIN over the phone. You gotta be kidding. I'm calling about fraud and the bank wants me to tell my secret number out loud?? Guess again bozos.


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206,731 You think that it works differently, that if you feel heavy, you’d go the gym. However, I feel heavier than normal this week and I can’t get myself to go to the gym. What a conundrum. It’s a stupid but it’s REAL.


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206,730 This is the type of man my husband is. Can someone please tell me what exactly this is?

I had a pretty rough pregnancy with our daughter. It was much worse than my pregnancy with our son. With her, I was sick for the entire first trimester, swelled terribly, to the point I had one pair of shoes I could wear, had pregnancy induced carpal tunnel that was VERY PAINFUL, towards the end, after she dropped, my back hurt so much I could not get comfortable. I was basically miserable for the entire last month of my pregnancy. However.... I worked full time as a nurse the entire pregnancy up until my doctor took me out because of my blood pressure two weeks before I delivered. I still did the housework, the shopping, basically everything I always did. I tried not to complain. Once she was born, and perfect as she was, he carried her around "taking credit" for her so to speak. He never said anything I hear other dads say like "Wow, what women go thorough to create life" or "I have a new respect for you." I would lightheartedly say things like "you know, you wouldn't have that thing to show off if I hadn't have went through several months of hell" simply because I wanted a TINY bit of credit! His mother even said "You did so good. I know you were having it rough there towards the end"  

Nope, all he could do was joke "Yeah, women get pregnant and carry the baby and everything, but us men deserve and award for having to put up with them for 9 months!" He'd say this any time we were around people when she was a newborn and someone would ask about my pregnancy or delivery. That joke got SO OLD, I finally told him it wasn't funny, and it never was, and I wish he'd have a bit of empathy for what women go though! Not only pregnancy and delivery, but post partum as well! Breastfeeding isn't fun when you wake up leaking everywhere, or you don't have a place to pump, or whatever the case may be. I just wish he were less selfish. Rant over I guess        


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206,729 If I meet someone with a southern accent I assume they are very nice, but not too smart.


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206,728 Trolls are picking on Melania for her Christmas decor. Again. How sick some people are. We are talking about Christmas! It's a happy joyous time. People can be such jerks.


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206,727 My wife was the youngest in a large family. I get the sense that when dessert was served, everyone grabbed a piece of cake and she was worried she's get none. As an adult my wife has shown tremendous anxiety when it comes to material things. Take Christmas, she flips out and can't contain her angst. she turns nasty and cruel. I get the brunt of this. I think it's because she fears she won't get enough. It's sad how her childhood still haunts her.


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206,726 Hey Millenials, how does it feel to be getting older? Haha, you are freaking out that there is a younger generation! so fun to watch.


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206,725 If you punch a cop, you should be shot and killed.


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206,724 I have a friend couple who have 10 kids. He is 45 & she is 36. Their kids are spaced roughly 1-1 1/2 years apart.
She recently asked for prayers for her health, this after a slew of other health conditions that have plagued her for years like nerve damage & what appears to be horrendous fibromyalgia, along with some other autoimmune diseases.
Her son is 2 & then she mentions on Facebook that with great sadness, she miscarried the baby she was pregnant with at 5 weeks gestation.
I DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR THEM.
What the fuck do they expect? Why is he still cumming inside her and having more fucking kids?!?!?
He admitted he was emotionally abusive, on medication for depression and prone to bouts of extreme anger. She admits to basically her body falling apart.
WHY HAVE MORE FUCKING KIDS??????


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206,723 My dad wasn't much of a dad. He kept leaving my mother when we were little, to the extent that one time my brothers and I all got farmed out to various aunts and uncles for a couple of years. Then, one time in Junior High, he beat me so badly that they had to keep me out of school for a few days until the black and blue marks subsided. As he got older, he got more and more unbearable to be around.

Then he died about 20 years ago. I was living overseas at the time, and called him on Father's Day. He didn't sound well. I called my brother, and my brother said that he was indeed ill, but that the doctors said he still had some time left.

Then I got a phone call a few months later while I was in South Africa that he had died.

I had to make a decision. If I interrupted that trip for his funeral, I'd be more pissed off at him than I already was, and I'd be pissed for the rest of my life. If I didn't go back for the funeral, I'd feel guilty the rest of my life. I opted for feeling guilty (which, by the way, I never felt).

I went to visit his grave a few years ago, and had to call an aunt to find out where in the cemetery it was. As I stood over it, all I wanted to do was piss on it.


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206,722 Justin Timberlake is not an attractive man.


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206,721 Classy guys don't say things like "I was busting your balls." They especially don't say something like that to a woman. You sir, are not classy.


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206,720 My wife is very ill. She's had every disease known to man. Each disease lasts for about half an hour before she decides she has a different disease.


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206,719 Just yesterday I was gossiping about someone from work. I was home and talking to my husband. I said this one particular woman is probably taking bribes from the vendors. Today I glance at her Facebook page and she posted, "So you think I'm taking bribes. Get a life!"

What? What? What? What? How could she have posted such a thing the day after I said it? Could she be listening in on my private conversations at home? Could there be some app planted on my cell phone that allows her to hear what I'm saying?? This is really freaking me out.

By the way, my cell phone is supplied by the company. Is it legal for them to listen to my conversations at home?



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206,718 I feel forced into buying Christmas presents. This is so wrong. I shouldn't feel pressure to spend $X on someone. I should give a gift if I want to and it shouldn't have to be on December 25th. I think Jesus would be embarrassed by how his birthday has become a way for stores to make money.


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206,717 My wife can't help herself from being mean and selfish. I hate being married.


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206,716 Am I a millennial or a Gen Xer? I was born in 1981 and the Internet is telling me conflicting things. I’d like to be the second, since the world seems to hate millennials in a very profound way.

Not on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat; I have that going for me I suppose.


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206,715 If you’re a woman, especially a single one, and you’re considering relocating to Denver Co, all I can say is DON’T!  I’ve been here five years now. My first year wasn’t bad, I actually made a lot of money and had some awesome sex. Went to the best concerts of my life. Had freedom. Then I got raped in my own home and the cops treated me like a liar. Then I had a rollover accident. Then I had a heart attack. Then an ex planted drugs on my vehicle, enter a few years of probation and my first arrest was now a reality. I have struggled horribly since the assault and even more so since the charges. Since things turned south I’ve been arrested a total of four times, all on the same charge over and over. Did a couple months in county jail for missing like 2 court ordered classes. Got my wallet stolen and they wouldn’t replace my ID for nearly three years, nearly destroying my entire existence. I got one just in time to not end up on the street and am able to work again but it’s almost too little and too late to put the broken pieces back together.  Since coming here I have had I shit you not SEVEN phones stolen from me. Seven. Out of baskets in stores, out of my jacket as I wore it, one right out of my hands. The men here are the worst of it all. They will say ANYTHING to get you to do what they want. Then they dump you like it’s nothing.  Many many many are drug addicts, they shoplift a lot sometimes, crash your car and disappear, give you an std then say it’s your fault right in your face, stand you up for dates CONSTANTLY, and commitment? Unless you can support them, dream on. And they’ll still cheat on you, often. Most of the men here have more than one DUI, and some of the times you bring a guy into your life, he will have an entire family but call them his roommates. This place is goddamned evil. Stay far away unless you want your whole life dismantled and your station in life to plummet.


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206,714 28, married.


If my period never comes, and I end up pregnant, I’m aborting.
He knows I don’t want kids.
Plus, we sleep together three times a year. This is a potential life sentence that I’m not willing to admit myself into.


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206,713 I'm never bored. I always find something interesting to do or read or work on.


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206,712 If you remind yourself that no one cares about you, it hurts less.


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206,711 Does targeted advertising have a smell device too? I have some embarrassing feminine odor and I did not look anything up. I didn’t say anything. Shit, did my partner? Because Facebook or Instagram tried to sell me a deodorizing tablet.


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206,710 When I was a kid, school never closed down due to the weather. Then the schools began to close for anything over 4 inches of snow. As if 4 inches of snow was somehow deadly. More recently, they have been cancelling school if it might snow. No need for actual snow, if there is a chance there might be snow, that's enough to protect these coddled students. I'm thinking in a few more years they will cancel snow even if it's sunny, because, you know, sunshine is dangerous.


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206,709 I don't understand how I can send my boss an urgent email and it only arrives at his inbox a week later. Like wtf? It makes me look like an idiot. What happened to the internet? Who ruined it?


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206,708 I need a hug.


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206,707 I'm surprised I was never arrested for a sex crime. My libido was so dominate in everything I did in my 20s. I'd have to have sex every few hours. This made for some troubled situations. I made passes at women who were off limits, yet I did it. I groped women. I voyeur-ed women.  I stalked women. I was never caught. Or more correctly, the women allowed me to misbehave. No one ever got offended to where they called the police. They easily could have though.


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206,706 How is it that I go to a (very unknown) company's website on my computer, and now I'm getting ads from that company on my phone?!?


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206,705 Eat The Rich.


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206,704 A video recommendation popped up on my youtube home page. It was a tutorial on how to refine uranium. I didn't click on it. I think it's a trick. The FBI wants to see if I'm interested. I'm not falling for it.


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206,703 He said his favorite thing to do is untangle knotted up rope. I think he was being serious. Next.


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206,702 I woke up this morning and spooned my wife from behind. I started grinding into her. I was half kidding but she didn't stop me. I pulled up her nightie and peeled off my boxers while continuing to press against her. She reached her hand down there and guided me inside. It took me a few moments to realize she inserted me into her ass instead of her pussy. It didn't take long for me to pop. Wow. That's how to say good morning to your spouse.


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206,701 Carpeting on a sailboat sounds like a ridiculously bad idea.


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206,700 Millennials strike again.





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206,699 It makes such a big difference to feel acccepted. Rejection was tragic for me. Happiness exists.


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206,698 I am very liberal. I believe in democratic socialism and that no one should be suffering in a time of such wealth. I am also a teacher in a Title 1 school, and have been for 13 years.

Despite all that, I have zero sympathy for all the lunch debt stories. I don’t agree at all that children should be shamed at lunchtime, but I also think parents need to take care of their kids, not the school. I know all of the socioeconomic reasons why my students are the way they are, and I do have a tremendous amount of empathy and sympathy, but giving your kids food is the bare fucking minimum standard for parenting.

FEED YOUR CHILDREN.


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206,697 My friend’s friend has a mean, bratty 14-year-old son who’s trying to be a rapper. I don’t ridicule kids who have dreams, but after reading the lyrics of his that she proudly posted on Facebook, it looks like he’s just going to get even more spoiled, conscienceless, and mean. Sounds like he thinks he’s pretty cool for treating others like they are beneath him and is extremely full himself. He and his friend beat up a 7-year-old special needs girl at school last year because they thought it was funny. He does things like that. If I were her, I wouldn’t be proud of this child. I’d be embarrassed and disappointed with myself that I brought one more nasty human being into this world and that their nastiness was a direct result of my shitty parenting.


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206,695 Found out I’m having a girl.

Devastated is the best possible world to use for how I really feel.


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206,694 I don't know if you love me or hate me. Most of the evidence points to hate. But, my own childish needs will keep me stalled. Perhaps forever.


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206,693 Quantum computing is BS. Or at least if you try to read up on the topic from the major computer companies, all I find is BS. I think no one there knows what quantum computing is or how it night possibly work. Oh they will throw some new vocab into the "explanation" and add some snazzy graphics. But if you read closely, the verbiage isn't actually saying anything. It tells me the writers don't know what they are talking about it. They are just regurgitating something they saw in a powerpoint slide but didn't understand themselves.


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206,692 I'm supposed to call a family member tonight. I don't want to. I don't like him. We have nothing in common. But my mother is insisting I call. This is why i don't like family.


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206,691 I proposed to a woman. She said no. A few months later I proposed to a different woman. She said yes. We've been married for 22 years. She still doesn't know she was the second choice.


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206,690 About a quarter of our family’s monthly income is from selling our possessions on Facebook and LetGo.


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206,689 My wife will never walk in front of me. She always tries to walk behind me. Believe me, I have no problem if she leads the way, or at least walks next to me. But she always attempts to hang back. Today for example we were on a narrow sidewalk. There was scaffolding in the way and people coming from the other direction and through the jockeying she ended up in front of me. So she stopped dead. It was single file on the sidewalk at that point. And she wasn't moving because she was in front and in her mind she can never be in front so she stopped and everyone behind her had to stop and they all wondered why she was blocking the sidewalk. It was very awkward and I had to repeatedly ask her to start walking again. I think she needs more self esteem. It's okay to be in front.


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206,688 I was on the kindergarten Facebook forum. Very funny to read. The 5 year olds were posting things like:

"You're ugly"

"I know you are but what am I?"

"You're a bully"

"No you are"

"Well you're a jerk"

"No, your husband is"

Husband??

Oh wait. It wasn't the kindergarten students posting. It was their parents... Wow, some adults are so lacking in maturity these days.


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206,687 I finally have some goals. It's good that I have them, I spent a lot of time without them. I have to work on me, I have to work on us. I haven't given in to despair. Well, not completely. Ha.


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206,686 I was on Hot or Not and just accidentally right-swiped my goddamn stepbrother...Ewwwwww!


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206,685 It's never enough. We have all sorts of programs for disabled children in our local schools. We spend about $60,000 for each disabled student vs. $18,000 for each main stream student. Not only that, our community has spent tax money to make sure every public building is handicapped accessible. We have added cub cuts, special parking, ramps a plenty, elevators, and widened doorways. All our crosswalks have audible signals for the blind. All signage has been redone to include braille. We've spent a fortune regrading a hiking trail so it's wheelchair accessible. We purchased a bus specifically to give free rides to disabled people. I can't imagine there is anything more disabled people could want in our community...

Oops, I was wrong. A few days ago it snowed. The school custodian innocently shoveled the front steps of the building. Word War Three erupted. There are calls to have him fired. His mortal sin, he shoveled the steps BEFORE shoveling the wheel chair ramp. How dare he be so thoughtless! Of course the disable access must be done before the main stream access. Of course we want the ramp cleared for the one student in a wheelchair as opposed to clearing the steps for the 450 non-wheelchair students.

Grrr. I'm getting very tired of this. Sure, let's help the disabled. But to complain the custodian helped the large majority before the one disabled kid..... give me a freaking break! Sometimes the normal kids can get something for themselves.


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206,684 I told myself today is the day I start to eat better. Then I see cinnamon buns on the kitchen counter and.... tomorrow is the day I start to eat better.


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206,683 My son and his friend work at the mall, and of course were scheduled for Black Friday.  Since they haven't been driving long and they had long hours, I drove them there and picked them up when they got off.  I haven't been to a mall on Black Friday since I worked retail 25 years ago.  My God.  I was practically crying just trying to get out of the parking lot to go home.  Do people really like this???


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206,682 You don't seem to have actually changed. I find that concerning. And, my acceptance of it. I find that concerning, too.


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206,681 I predict in 10 or 20 years all those houses currently using spray foam insulation while be recognized as cancer traps and they will be torn down.


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206,680 I watch online video of guys who live in tiny cabins in the woods. I could so do this. I'd stock up on food and not see people for months at a time. This would be my perfect life. I hate people.


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206,679 My good married friend signed up for an online dating site using my credit card. He asked first. He couldn't risk signing up and his wife finding out. Normally I would never allow myself to be part of anyone's marriage troubles, but in this case I'm making an exception because his wife is a bitch.


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206,678 You just don’t get it nor do I think you ever will.


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206,677 I have this friend whom I met through my S.O. They were in each other's weddings.  They're pretty close.  His wife and I get along. I am almost 99% sure if I made the slightest move I could actually have him, but I'm also not going to mess this up.  I will just have to wait and see. Damn. And I bet that D is huge.


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206,676 When cutting wood using my table saw I use my bare hands. On Youtube I see young people today using a pushing tool. They are afraid of cutting their hands. Fucking pussies.


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206,675 The kids and I went to a Thanksgiving gathering with 30 people. Where as my ex husband (I divorced him) spends Thanksgiving alone every year. I think he's miserable being all by himself. I've invited him to join us but he's too proud to accept. I would even let him spend the night in my bed. Still no. Men and their pride.


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206,674 When I'm walking around in the city and people are talking to themselves, I can't tell if it's insanity or bluetooth.


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206,673 Yesterday during Thanksgiving dinner my Uncle’s wife (aka: my aunt) was grabbing my cock under the table. I thought it was innocent until she sent me a picture this morning of her tits. My uncle has never been nice to me. I’m going after that soon.
-M 21


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206,672 You could not pay me one million dollars to have a baby. Just the thought of carrying one disgusts me.


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206,671 "I'll have sex with you if you buy me a Mac."

This is love??


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206,670 There was an insufferable gabber at dinner last night. Ruined my entire evening. I wish these know-it-alls could understand we don't need their condescending opinion on everything from politics to gravy.


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206,669 Johnny Weir, former ice skater now TV commentater, even makes queer men like me cringe.


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206,668 I might be the only one, but I find Mr. Rodgers to be annoying. I hate the way he speaks, in this sort of lecturing, sappy voice. I won't be seeing the movie.


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206,667 I've come to realize that no matter how your kids are raised, they're  not always going to be the kind of kids you expect. I messed up thinking my daughter was going to be exactly like my son, who has always been a wonderful child. He's never been in a minute's worth of trouble and he's 20 years old.

My daughter is 13, has been caught in multiple lies, caught with juul shit several times, and just when we begin to trust her again, and drop her off at the movie theater with a friend, we find out two boys came and picked them up as soon as we left. (THANK YOU SNAPMAP!) I'm at my wits end. I've cried, screamed, tried the silent treatment, grounded her, tried reverse psychology, and nothing works. She'll tell me she's trying to earn my trust, and slowly slips back into her habits of lying and sneaking. So... now we are becoming helicopter parents. She's no longer allowed to go anywhere without one of us or her brother present. She has proven that she cannot be trusted to make the right decisions, so we have to make them all for her. It's killing me that I cannot trust her to just be a good kid. Make a mistake? Sure we all do that. But, repeatedly making the same mistake, isn't a mistake at all. It's a choice. And she's choosing to break my heart over and over. I may not survive her raising.


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206,665 My husband has three approximately 1/2 inch wild hairs that grow out of the shaft of his penis. They're on the underside. He's had them for about a year now. They just grew out of nowhere. I normally love to give head, but these hairs are really bothering me. I cannot wait for it to be over because they feel so weird and are so offputting. I mean, a penis is supposed to be smooth. I hate that this is taking away from the enjoyment for me, but I'll still do it for him regardless


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206,664 When will you step up to the plate and just come to me and see what happens?  Drinks on Thursday?  


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206,663 Never ever be with someone who drives a Nissan. Not sure what it is, but 9/10 Nissan owners are horrible drivers, bad attitude people. Just keep that in mind the next time you get cut off, or someone takes the parking spot you’ve been waiting for.... watch it be a Nissan.


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206,662 None of my children will ever win the congeniality award.


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206,661 My brother was in prison for 6 years. Something he told me, you get more respect if you're in for more violent crimes, respect not only from prisoners, but from the guards.


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206,660 I think we all put up with thanksgiving as a way to get some juicy stuffing.


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206,659 I'm busy all day cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I'm the husband. My wife decided long ago that being a wife and mother and doing homey things isn't her cup of tea.

As the afternoon turned to evening, she poked her head in the kitchen and asked what I was making for tonight's dinner. A little overwhelmed, I suggested she could handle dinner tonight. I said she could call the pizza place and pick up a couple of meatball heroes. I could tell this annoyed her. She's of the mind that she shouldn't have to ever put in any effort on anything. But I stood my ground.

I could hear her on the phone in the other room. Then with an exasperated voice she announced she was going up to pick up the order from the pizza place.

She returned 10 minutes later. She plopped a bag down on the kitchen table and pulled out one meatball hero. She put it on a plate and went in the family room to eat it while drinking wine and watching a movie.

I looked around. There was nothing else in the bag. She ordered a sandwich for herself only. Nothing for the kids. Nothing for me. I've said it before, Ill say if again. You've never met a woman like this.


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206,658 I wish I was a cat, in a good home.  what. a. life!


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206,657 I went to the supermarket and bought milk. This is apparently illegal. What I'm supposed to do is go into the store and hand them $3. There can be no strings attached. I'm just supposed to give them money. I can not ask for anything in return. I didn't know this was illegal. I'm sorry. I've been guilty of this for years. I only recently learned I'm not allowed to get something in return for my money, you know, in a quid pro quo sort of way.


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206,656 My secret recipe for chocolate cream pie which everyone loves ----- is made with jello instant pudding. LOL.


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206,655 I'm in love with a woman I see on the train each morning. Sometimes chance would have it that we sit together. We talk about life, family, marriage, kids, work, you name it. I feel a powerful connection to her. Ive never acted on it. I've never asked her to go for coffee of anything. I'm thinking about it though. It could change my life in both good ways, and bad ways. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and not knowing what to do.


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206,654 Robert DeNiro is in a new movie? Ha ha ha, I'll never go see it.


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206,653 No matter how many times I ask my husband to not interrupt our conversation so he can read an incoming text, he does it anyway. I'll be in the middle of saying something. His phone dings. He turns away from me and reads the text. Then he'll take a minute and respond the person. After he is good and satisfied with his text duties, he'll turn back to me and ask what we were talking about.

I'd like to say to him, "What were we talking about? I was in the middle of telling you your doctor called and you have cancer."


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206,652 In 2016 I signed up for Obamacare. Since that time I've had to upload 78 documents. Something is very wrong with Obamacare. I'm still the same person I was 3 years ago. Nothing has changed. I don't even have any illnesses. How could it take 78 documents to remain enrolled???????????


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206,651 I smelled something burning the other evening. I raced around the house and found that smoke was coming from a small table lamp in the bedroom. The fixture holding the bulb was leaning over and touching the shade. The heat was scorching the shade's fabric. Not good. I unplugged the lamp and explained to my wife what happened. I told her to only use the ceiling light in the bedroom until I can get to the hardware store this weekend for some new parts for the table lamp.

Last night I came home and could smell smoke again. I raced to the bedroom. There was my wife, reading in bed with the table lamp on. She had plugged it in again.

I frantically said, "What are you doing? Why did you plug it in again? Why did you turn it on?"

She responded, "I don't really like the ceiling light. I like the glow from table lamp much better."

Oh, well then of course use the lamp that might burn down the house....

She scares the stuffing out me.


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206,650 People suffering from mental illness shouldn't have access to guns.

But more importantly, they shouldn't have access to Facebook.


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206,649 I talked to my brother the other day. He's such an asshole but he's there for me when i really need it and I'm about to go off the rails. I told him about my suicidal thoughts and how i bought monkshood in the mail to kill myself with. He didn't believe me, but i assured him that I had the means, the motive, and the plan. He ended up talking me off the ledge...for now. The package is still on the way, and i don't think i can bring myself to throw it out when it comes.

Sometimes when I'm really craving a drink I'll buy one, but then once I have it in hand my stress drops significantly. Just having the option of booze there is comforting in itself even if i don't have a drink.

So my new plan is to buy a necklace with a small bottle or vial attached to it. In it, i will stash some of my monkshood and wear it around my neck. Hopefully this will work in the same way as the booze crutch, I'll be comforted knowing i can kill myself at any time, and be more conscious of the fact that I don't. Hopefully it works....


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206,648 I just can't stand that spawn of yours... You're an amazing guy, but I just wished you didn't have a kid. I don't know what's the big deal, she's not a looker. Every time I see her I have to pretend to like her when in reality I don't give two fcks bout her. Your stepdaughters are fcking whores, you've seen it for yourself! Every time I hear praise for them cunts, I cringe.


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206,647 Guys, if your wife had a hysterectomy, does she still feel good to you during sex?  


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206,646 I'm 66. I posted earlier about having to work until 70 as my wife is younger and has no insurance and i resented her talking about quitting work. It seems I'm having memory issues. There are times that I know I said something to her and she says no I didn't. Other times she claims to have told me stuff and I'm sure she didn't. I don't know any more. I think I'm being gaslighted. Also she seems to lose patience with me very easily. Is this the beginning of a not very pleasant twilight of our lives?


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206,645 Learning to surf is on my list.
M64


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206,644 45 minutes left...


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206,643 Ok... but... maybe it's not racial profiling... maybe more minorities eat on the train... maybe it's that simple.




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206,642 Rich and Elizabeth, you suck and so do those 2 shithead kids of yours. You’re raising them to be even bigger assholes than the two of you are.


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206,641 When I see the item in the news every year about the turkey being pardoned by the president, I don't believe it. Oh, he's going to live out the rest of his days on a farm in Virginia? I call bull shit. As soon as the news cameras leave, the turkey is probably driven over to the butcher shop.


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206,640 N. Don’t shut me out. Love me back. Don’t make her disrespect of you into my cross to bear. Just let us be. A


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206,639 She knows I'm obsessed with you, she just doesn't know the extent.


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206,638 I feel like when people say things like "if you get sick" or "if you lose your job" and directly to you, it's like wishing bad.  Sometimes even if they seem to be a good person, it just feels like they want something to happen to you so you can join in on the misery of their own life.  


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206,637 I can feel you. I woke up this morning whispering your name.  


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206,636 People confuse "Impeachment" with "I just hate the guy and want him out".
It's a very dangerous path to try to oust someone from Office just because it's not the person you voted for.


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206,635 Oh good, thanksgiving week, the time where I have constant anxiety attacks that this will finally be the year my gun-owning, mentally unstable brother snaps and murders all of us at the dinner table. The end of Thursday can’t come soon enough.


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206,634 So, Thanksgiving week and there will be 35+ there. Including the militant vegetarian brother in law and family.  As soon as the emails start up about coordinating T-Day he gets involved with his emails informing everyone that we all have to respect the choices of others and to include vegetarian options for Thanksgiving. Then the do and don’t list blah blah etc..

Think that is it, oh no. All day long he will walk around muttering under his breath about meat eaters in a derogatory manner and then lecture anyone who listens on how superior his diet is. All in all a miserable SOB.

But wait, there is more.  Every few years that house will sponsor a family meal. Of course, the emails are different when this occurs. These invites and emails are all about how his household is vegetarian only and we all have to bring vegetarian only dishes and this is our opportunity to enjoy the discovery of a proper diet, blah blah blah. What about that all import concept of respecting the choices of others?  Nope that only works one way.  I’m always amused when these events are planned. No one goes.

Are all vegetarians such assholes ?



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206,633 I do not understand why Kansas and Arkansas are pronounced differently.


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206,632 I bought monkshood online last night. It's dried, but it's supposed to be poisonous. There's a lot going on, but long story short I'm going to kill myself when it comes. I have the whole thing planned, and if i do it right no one will know for days, not even my roommates. We're fighting right now, so they'll leave me alone until it's too late. I feel bad that they'll have to find my body, but they'll get over it. Everyone always does when someone dies


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206,631 I'm so quick to diagnose and see anxiety and depression in other people --but get this.  I am 100% sure I have both, and what have I done about it for ME???

Nothing.

I get feelings of doom- and they'll come out of nowhere. I lie awake at night sometimes worrying how I'll die. I'll also randomly cry....SOB!  I've had panic attacks that stopped me in my tracks physically.

At work? A MESS! I can't concentrate worth sh*t! Haven't been able to for years. The job I so loved and worked so hard to get makes me just watch the clock and count down the hours until I can go to bed .  

Oh yeah- and there's that PTSD thing after nearly dying from a life threatening illness , not to mention having been in a mentally abusive marriage for a few years.

A relative actually told me that it also all runs in the family: depression, bipolar, and major anxiety- and "don't be afraid/shamed".

I guess I am . Of both. My heart bleeds for those who deal with these conditions. It feels like you're not fully living.  I think they are so brave to talk about it- especially when I meet someone and they outright admit it.  There SHOULDN'T be any shame...ever.

I just don't know what to do.

It doesn't help that my new doctor SUCKS.  She blames all my other genetic conditions entirely on me. Every. Single. One.

This doesn't help matters.

It's not so easy as to "just switch doctors". I can't get better insurance. So I feel so stuck.  SO stuck.




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206,630 My sister is dating a man named Spider. I predict this will end badly.


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206,629 I wanted you forever.
I never stopped thinking of you.
One day every thing turned upside down.
I realized that while I was daydreaming about the guy who never wanted me; I was actually fantasizing about someone who truly abused their power over me.
I was a student.
You were a fellow.
You had a girlfriend.
You kissed me.
You pressured me to fuck you in that ALTIMA and left fucking stains to remind me of how little, meek, weak, and preyed upon I was in that moment.
You knocked me up. I never told you. I took care of it.

Don’t you dare become a famous chef - because I will be fucking waiting for you. Me too motherfucker, MeToo.


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206,628 I went to a birthday party a few weeks ago in Manhattan, NYC (I live here) and my coworker was showing us around her apartment. Nice apartment, decorated well, 2 bedrooms, great neighborhood (nowadays anyway). Nothing special nor out of the ordinary until she casually tells us when we were in her bedroom that two young girls, circa early 90’s were murdered in there and one in her now bedroom! What?!?! She did not know this beforehand but once she started telling the story I remembered it! It was in all the papers and the murderers were caught and are now doing life. How could you live in a place were people were murdered? Yes, she didn’t know at the time but wow it wouldn’t be me! She was telling us too that weird things happen in there all the time. Creepy & weird- I won’t be going back.


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206,627 A question for everyone. There's a woman I know on Facebook. For years she has been making unkind comments about people. She feels threatened by people. If someone has an opinion different from hers, she lashes out, saying cruel things, or making up lies about the people she views as enemies. More recently her comments have turned into veiled physical threats. She says she wants to hurt people who annoy her. If I recall, she has mentioned using weapons. Then just today she posted a picture that looked like a mugshot and said she is practicing posing for her jail photos because people have been pushing her buttons recently - implying she is going to be in jail soon?

So here's the question. What would you do with this situation? Is this just someone being haha funny? Or should her behavior be reported to the police? I'm not trying to make too much out of it. Maybe she just has a weird sense of humor. But in our current climate, where gunman randomly attack others, I don't find it funny to joke about hurting people. Have many times have we been told, if you see something, say something...

So what would you do? Laugh and move on? Or make law enforcement aware of her strangeness?

By the way, she lives alone. It's not like she has a loving husband and family around her.


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206,625 I made a comment on Yahoo News and I received 681 thumbs up and 102 thumbs down with 59 replies. That's the most I've ever received. Usually I just get about 10 to 30 thumbs on a comment and rarely do I receive even 1 reply. I know it's silly but it makes me feel good.


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206,623 I've jerked off so much that I have a friction sore at the base of my dick from where my I've furiously and accidentally rubbed my pubes into my crotch.  It hurts.


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206,622 I'll never get to hold you.  I'll never even get to have any positive attention from you.  You'll forget me as if I never existed.

But what I do get is the knowledge that, by some crazy coincidence, I've banged four different women less than 1,000 feet away from where you've lived in three different cities.

So, yeah, I guess that's the next best thing, you know?  Hahaha...


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206,621 I posted here about a month ago about being addicted to porn and masturbation and going cold turkey. I lasted about a month and a half. Coming from doing it multiple times a day to not at all for that long is not so bad I guess. What pushed me over the edge was spending some time with a woman I know. Nothing would ever happen because we’re both in relationships but there’s a definite connection there. She’s got a great body and looked so hot that day and we’re close and we click and by the time I got home I was so horny I had to get it out of my system. So I did, I thought about her amazing tights covered ass and blew a massive load and felt great. And that’s okay I thought. It was pure internal fantasy. That’s what jerking off is for. It deals with the distraction and you go back to your day. But once wasn’t enough. Once only leads to more for me. So later I went again but I needed more this time so I started thinking about some of the nasty porn i used to watch. I didn’t watch it but I thought about it and jerked off again. And after that it was in my head and so the next day I did watch it and jerked off again. So definite backslide. Not good but still I feel pretty ok about going as long as I did. I know I can do that. So tomorrow I start again. I’m not sure what the secret is: I’m addicted to porn and immediate sexual gratification or that I’m struggling with quitting or I that fantasise about fucking my friend.


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206,619 In my first job I had a female boss who should never have been a manager. I'm female. I thought working with a woman would be good. I was wrong. She was a bad person. She thought being the boss meant she could treat us like servants. She pegged me as the cabana girl who should run out and get her Starbucks whenever she was in the mood. Then she'd complain the coffee was too hot, or too cold. Sorry, my bad, I didn't study coffee management in college. There was one time I bought her coffee and was coming up on the elevator. I was terrified the temperature would be all wrong again. I pried up the lid. I couldn't take a sip of her coffee, so I did the next best thing, I touched my finger to it. Seemed okay. This left coffee on my finger. I licked it off. Then in a stroke of passive aggressive brilliance, I stuck my finger back in her coffee. Ha ha ha, lick my saliva you nasty woman! O.K., maybe it was a very childish thing for me to do, and not very effective. Had I been a craftier person, I could have lifted my skirt and inserted my finger in my vj, and then stuck it back in her coffee. But lucky for her I still had a few boundaries. At least I did something though and it felt good!  


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206,618 There are a few online bullies on the town facebook page. Ug, I very much dislike them. I find myself steering clear of them because I don't want to be another victim of their abuse. This is the bullies winning.

Recently one man stood up against a bully. He called the bully mean. Unbelievably, the bully is now threatening to sue the outspoken man for slander. Apparently it's against the law to call a mean person mean.

Of course, this is just the bully trying to bully the outspoken man into submission. It's just more bullying.

God I hate these bullies.


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206,617 My wife hates everything and everyone. She's never met you, but she already hates you. I can't imagine being so miserable all the time.


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206,616 God damn, Owen Gray can fuck.


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206,615 I know you were just letting me down gently, I’m not stupid, it’s just nice to pretend you still feel something.


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206,614 I hate that it's called "Black Friday". Not only does it sound racist, but it's also such a downer. Black means dark and evil. There is nothing dark and evil about Christmas.


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206,613 In my line of work, I deal with a lot of kids and teens.
I make it a poin to treat each and every one with respect - to make them feel heard, welcome, and that they can be themselves. They all deserve that.

I have worked with a few that refer to themselves as transgender. I love these kids as much as the typical kids, I do, I just struggle. I feel bad for saying that, but I do.  I just don't GET IT! I feel so so..BAD for them...more than anything. I don't want people to scream at me and call me a bigot so I don't say these things out loud to anyone else, ever. There's nothing but compassion in me, but LOTS of confusion. And ok- maybe anger because it appears many adults have an agenda and are exploiting youth.

I mean it's gotten to the point where Always..a FEMININE protection company...is caving in and saying "oh no, NOT feminine! It's for everyone!", because trans men are saying : "what about men with periods? Discrimination!"

See, I read something like that and my jaw drops. I fear if I state the obvious someone will rip my head off.

What a world we live in. I don't like it too much , sometimes.


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206,612 It occurs to me that maybe only I exist. The rest of you are nothing more than creations of my imagination. More and more I have discovered this to be true. Here's why. If only I exist, then I should have much more control over everyone around me than I realize. After all, if you are part of my thoughts, then I shouldn't have to struggle to get you to do what I want. In a sense, I own you. I can wish you to do something, and then you do it. I just have to believe in my ability to make this happen. As my life progresses, I see endless evidence of this. I want Mr. A to offer me the job. He does. I want Miss B to date me. She does.

And it's not just people I can control. Since the universe is of my invention, I can also control circumstances. A little girl lost her gold charm at the beach. I wanted to find it for her. An impossible task for sure, many people had been looking for an hour. Then I remembered, I'm in control. I can make things happen. It's not that I know where the charm is. It's that I can distort the universe so the charm appears where I'm looking. Within a minute I found the missing charm.

Another example, I was dating a woman. We spent the night together. Next morning I asked if she wanted to do anything special. She said anything? I said yes, anything. She said she wanted to meet Keenu Reeves. I took her to a restaurant in midtown Manhattan. We waited a few minutes. A car pulled up. Out came Keenu Reeves. I said hello and introduced my girlfriend to him. He was very gracious. Anyway, point is, I made that happen.

I know what you are thinking, my examples are anecdotal. They are just coincidences. But take a step back, the Keenu Reeves thing for example would qualify as the most amazing coincidence ever. Couple it with all the other "coincidences" and what we have a statistical impossibility.

It doesn't matter if you don't believe me. I have done some amazing things in life, simply because I wished for these things to happen. So they did. Nothing else really matters.


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206,611 I am seeing a man.  He is 15 yrs my senior, so I’m roughly 35 and him 50. I’ve been sneaking into his home at 2 am lately and crawling into his bed for my night of sleep. He has a 12 year old son that lives there too, and this morning the boy discovered that I had slept over and actually told his father that  he’d be happy to see me join them for lunch rather than leaving before they went out alone. I sat there across from them and had such a nice conversation with those two. The way my man looks at me, it’s enough to turn my legs into twizzlers and melt my heart on the spot. His son is a great kid, smart and considerate and basically the product of a great man raising his boy all alone and being fully committed to parenting as best as he possibly can. I’ve never been successful at becoming a parent and I’ve never had a serious boyfriend who allowed me to be involved with their children’s life. Today, I fell head over heels in love with this man and his child, who has to go through his days without a mother since she just left him.  I don’t understand who could walk away from such a lovely child and just stay gone. I think these two may be the family I’ve always wanted and thought by now I’d never be blessed with. I don’t plan to leave them to themselves moving forward. This guy is made to be loved, and although this kid isn’t mine, I want to be there for him just as if he were my very own. I hope so much this doesn’t end because I love them both. I really do just love them.


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206,610 I should just quit Facebook.
It makes me feel awful, comparing myself to everyone else’s lives.
It makes me feel like a failure.


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206,609 I hate how I smell like a crime scene on my period. There is nothing appealing about the smell of blood.

That red tent must have wreaked to high heavens..


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206,608 The first time I had sex was when I was in 9th grade.  There was a girl in my section who had supposedly been having sex with a couple of older guys.  So I started paying some attention to her, and one thing led to another, and then on Thursday, January 5th, 1967 we played hooky from school and had sex for the first, second, third and fourth times. I wish I could describe the electricity that went through me the first time my hand felt her pubic hair.

After ninth grade we each went to separate high schools, and that was that.

Years went by.  Later I heard she had gotten pregnant and dropped out of high school.  This was a shame because we had been in the college prep section of ninth grade, and she was clearly one of the smartest kids in it.

Then the Internet came along, and from time to time I tried to locate her.  No dice.  I had terrible visions of her having ended up in a dead end life as a single mother, working menial jobs to make ends meet, etc.

Then one day I found her.  Good Lord...she had gotten a PhD and was teaching at a local college as well as working as a consultant.  Very successful.  Yes, she had gotten pregnant and quit high school, but soon enough she had worked that all out and continued an upward trajectory.

We agreed to meet.  I had the occasion to return to our home town, and we spent the day driving around checking out old haunts. Of course you know what happened...

The next day we rented a hotel room and fucked our brains out.

And that went on twice a year for about five years: one or two days of absolutely lewd, lascivious, animal sex.  She was married and I was married, and after each encounter we brushed off and went about our business as if nothing had happened.  It was like that play, "Same Time, Next Year."

Then one day she just fell off the radar.  Said she was going to Hawaii on vacation, then I never heard from her again.  I know she didn't die, because I see her name in her local media from time to time. I was ghosted.

This is definitely something I can never talk to my family and friends about.  But she'll always be a smile on my face that no one else will every understand.




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206,605 On Christmas Eve, my husband and I will take the toys in the toy box and put them in the basement, then bring up toys that have been in the basement for the last year. We’ll wrap them and place them in the toy box. On Christmas Day, the kids will gasp, “New toys!” They won’t remember we’ve owned the “new” toys for almost three years and we switch out half of them every Christmas. I think this is the last year we’ll be able to pull this off. Being poor fucking sucks.


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206,604 I forgave him for cheating. This weekend, he cheated again. I'm devastated.


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206,603 I have a wart on my finger. I'm sure I got it from touching his weener. Makes me mad. Never again.


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206,602 Yesterday afternoon I made a plate of brownies for the family. I put nuts in half because the kids and I like nuts. I put no nuts in the other half because my wife doesn't like nuts.

Last night after dinner I decided to try one. I looked at the plate where the brownies were stacked. I spun it around. I was looking to find one with nuts. But my wife sees me. She launches an unprovoked attack to the effect of, "You greedy pig! What, you are looking at the brownies trying to find the biggest? How selfish! You disgust me."

I thought I could explain I was looking for one with nuts, but why bother. She's a horrible person. She will find fault with anything and everything I do. Why are some people like this?


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206,601 I saw this Indian man in the airport and he was unusually attractive. He had a bit of a beard.
He was a bit older, maybe 50.
I had dreams last night I was fucking him.
And that he was a priest to boot.



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206,600 Bloomberg for the win!


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206,599 I read all the time about women having serious crushes on married men.  Like heart-breaking crushes.  As a man, I could never understand why a woman would fall so hard for man they know to be totally off-limits and unattainable.  We men don't seem to have these yearnings for married women.  If you're a woman and you know about this or experienced this, can you share something about it?


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206,598 My wife is an angry unpleasant shrew. I thought me being constantly kind would show her the way. It didn't work. If anything it makes things worse. She takes advantage of my kindness. There are times she even mocks me for my kindness. She wasn't always this way. It came on slowly, like a cancerous tumor. And you know what has to be done with a tumor, it needs to be cut out and removed. Next week I go see a lawyer.


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206,597 The town where I live has an ATT cell tower. The town where I work has a Verizon cell tower. My phone is ATT. It does not get any bars where I work. People at work with Verizon don't get any bars in my town. It's gotten to the point where I'll need two cells phones - one ATT and one Verizon - so I can always make calls. This is progress? Things were easier with landline phones.


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206,595 There are websites that post memes. Then there a people who copy the memes into their own facebook page. They believe this makes them look clever in front of their friends. As if the friends will comment and say, "Wow, you are so clever to post this meme."

Meanwhile the friends are really thinking, "You copied the meme. You are not clever. You are just seeking attention for yourself and trying to pretend like you are smart when we all know you are not.

Therefore, I offer this advice to you as your friend, stop posting memes from elsewhere. It makes you look pathetic.



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206,594 My church now has wifi I guess so people can surf the internet during mass.


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206,593 Oh okay.




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206,592 You have a simple common cold.  It's not the plague you needy bitch.

God my mother in law is a pain in the ass.


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206,591 My wife so spends far too much money on crap. She always has to buy the most expensive version of an item. She can't possibly buy anything inexpensive.

I swear, when she croaks I'm going to arrange the most inexpensive funeral. I'm thinking I'll put her in a cardboard box and drop her off at the dump.


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206,589 I wrote a few weeks ago. My wife found a job. She complained bitterly to her workmates about the company and her boss. She was fired within few months.

Two weeks ago she found another job as a receptionist. Guess what. She was fired on Friday. That sure didn't take long.

I see a pattern. Not only with work. She also complains bitterly about me and everything I do. I should take a cue from her former workplaces and fire my wife. Seriously. I should end this. She is such a bitter person.


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206,588 25 years ago I bought a wreck of a house. It was supposed to be a tear down. But I bought it with the intention of doing a restoration. Everyone said I was crazy. But I did it. I fixed the house and 7 years later sold it. It's still beautiful today.

18 years ago I bought another wreck of a house. It was new construction but the builder died before finishing the beast. Everyone said don't do it, leave it alone. But I charged forward and ended up with one of the most beautiful houses in town. I just sold it.

The other day I was wading through the online listings of the endless boring houses for sale. One listing - only one - caught my eye. Because in the description were the words "tear down".

I went to see it. Oh boy what a wreck. Leaky roof. The septic system collapsed. Broken windows. Animals are living inside. The broker was shocked when I said I was interested in bringing it back to life. The thing is 300 years old. What a treat it would be to save this piece of history.

Here I go again. This seems to be my fate in life. I fix things. It's what I do. It's who I am. When I die, I hope they decide to bury me in a half dug grave. Don't worry, I'll finish the digging and turn it into the nicest plot in the cemetery.



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206,587 There are too many politicos in the news recently. Schiff, Sondland, Hill, Vindman, blah, blah, blah. I basically have no idea who any of them are or what side they are on. I tuned out long ago.


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206,586 I live for food and sex.


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206,585 I didn't know what a "speak to the manager" woman was until recently. Hilarious! Then I went back to my old yearbooks and realized I knew some. Many, in fact! After all I grew up in Chicago suburbia.   These awful cliches are  obviously born- not made. They already had that entitled, horsey face twisted into a permanent smirk or scowl , and even then all had the same stupid hairstyles. Today:  same. They just drive minivans.  Fascinating!

"Now this is unacceptable. I've been waiting 20 min for my iced mocha......"


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206,584 I don't remember what age I was when I first learned about eating pussy, but I do know that from a very early point I thought that this was what I was born to do.  It was as if I had been programmed in my genes to do it.  

I remember hearing a story once about the swinging, care-free days of the 1960s when some guy with a similar proclivity was invited by an apartment full of flight attendants to come over and eat them all out. He spent the afternoon there doing one after the other, and thought he had died and gone to heaven.

I've told many a woman this: for me, eating lobster is really just an excuse to eat melted butter.  Similarly, having sex is just something I do in order to eat pussy.

I'm not claiming to be the best in the world at it (although I've never had anyone complain).  But I do know that I could do without any other aspect of sex for the rest of my life in return for the opportunity to eat a nice clean pussy once or twice a day.

And that is something that absolutely no one in my family or circle of friends will ever know.



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206,583 I was very surprised to see your car parked in the train station garage.  I assume you're going home to your mom's for Thanksgiving - but NOBODY takes the train from Baltimore to Philadelphia when they have a car.  To NYC, yes, but not to Philadelphia, and certainly not to DC.  You have to pay $120 for the tickets and $70 for the parking, and the time it takes to get from your apartment, to the station, to waiting for the train, and then waiting to be picked up from the Philly station and going home, you've spent four times as much money and twice as much time.  It makes no sense.

This can't be a coincidence.  You drive to Philly all the time, and I'm pretty certain you know that's the garage I have to use for work.  You had to have known there was a very good chance that I would see your car parked where it was when I left the garage yesterday.

It reminds me of when we worked together and your apartment was right across the street from the office building, yet you would still drive your car to the garage and park near me.  I smiled last winter when the snow was still on the roof of your car because you only drove it 1/4 mile at 15 mph.  

I want to think that you did this because you miss me, but this is making it hard for me to forget you.


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206,581 Meet me tonight... Come and have a drink with me.


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206,580 I just spent a bit of time talking to someone we both know. Mostly about other things, however, you were mentioned. I think it is so funny how you post so much "compassionate" stuff when I recall the time you pushed me down on the bed and held me down and started punching me in the stomach multiple times to "teach me a lesson". And another time ground your son's nose into the living room rug because he was being challenging.

You're such a phony. Your mindset is a result of your overwhelming guilt anyway. It's always been about you and showing people what a "good person" you are. I've met several of your type, and now I run from them.


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206,578 "I'm a little chubby."

No my dear, you are morbidly obese. I'm thinking you won't live another year.


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206,577 I don't understand how I can call a real estate broker about a specific property and she doesn't call me back. It's been weeks. Where I live real estate prices are in the dumps. You'd think she'd be eager to to have an interested buyer.


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206,576 A woman is on trial for letting her step kids see her topless. She was doing some sheetrock work around the house and didn't want her clothes to get dusty, so she took her top off.

Damn, wish I had a step mother like that!


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206,575 Can we just all stop pretending we live in a Christian nation? One of freedom at that?


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206,574 I really think people are getting more crazy in general.


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206,573 I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I ended up peeing on my pajamas. I don't know, I was sleepy and stood up too soon and more pee came out. FML. Anyway, I could not keep wearing the pajamas so I took them off and hid them under the bed so my husband wouldn't find them then I put on sweat pants and went back to bed. Oh the secrets we have.


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206,572 I know a home care nursing aide. He works 24 hours a day for 7 days a week. How is that possible? He's clever. He works with patients who are bed ridden. He has one patient per 12 hour shift. He feeds them, bathes them, reads to them, changes the TV channel for them ---- things like that. But mostly the patient sleeps. When the patient sleeps, he sleeps. He says he gets plenty of rest. He makes $20 an hour, or $480 a day, for 7 days a week, which is $3,360 per week, or about $175,000 a year. He never went to college. He's very social too, but online. He texts all the time to his friends. He never goes out with them physically over the last year, but he keeps in touch everyday. He says now is the time to build his nest egg. He wants to keep making this money for a few more years and then start his own business doing something else. Smart guy. He's a foreigner too. He's only been in this country for a few years. He's making his American dream happen while the rest of us moan how broke we are.


likes: 1
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206,571 Oh gawd! I asked my wife what's going on today. She said she's visiting her sister between 1 and 6. Then we have to be at our son's school at 6:15 for a play.

I pointed out that her sister lives an hour away. She won't have enough time to get back here for 6:15.

She said she would be back in time. I asked if she would leave her sister's early. She said no. I reiterated she won't be back in time. She started getting mad and yelling. She insisted it wouldn't be an issue. This went on for 5 minutes with her spitting fire at me.

I dropped it. The conversa5ion wasn't going anywhere.I've been down this road so often with her where she says things that make no sense.

Half an hour later it occurred to me... yes I have been down this road with her before.... and things make no sense because she is telling the details wrong. I thought about it for a moment. Then I asked, "You are going to your sister's this afternoon between 1 and 6 right?"

"Yes."

"And our son needs to be at his school by 6:15.... by any chance do you mean to say he needs to be at school by 6:15 TOMORROW?"

"Yes," she snapped, "Of course..."

See what she does? She leaves out the all important details. She could have easily seen the problem and said, "Oh, I meant to say the play is the next day, so I'll have a full 24 hours between the events."

But she doesn't ever think things out. She never sees anything from the other person's point of view. Yep, her sister visit ends at 6 and the our son has to be at school by 6:15. She doesn't at all see why that might be confusing for anyone else.

I hate this.


likes: 0
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206,570 Someone here asked for a review of pantry scent fragrance. I ordered Japanese School Girl Panty Spray. Not having actually had the real experience of the real thing I can attest that the scent is quite remarkable and not unlike the scent of my wife’s used panties. The JSG panty has a bit more of a urine smell and more pungent aroma. What’s more remarkable is how the chemists conducted the study.


likes: 0
comments: 2

206,569 My uncle was a psychologist. When he died my mom had to clean out his office. There were many boxes of cassette tapes because  he used to record his patients. My mom asked if I wanted the tapes thinking I could reuse them to make my music mixes. I didn't really mean to but I started listening to the tapes before I wiped them out. This was meaty stuff for a teen to have. Patients were talking about how much they hated their spouses. Some would talk about their affairs. Other about their money problems. These were things I definitely should not have been hearing, but because of the strange circumstance I was able to eves drop on all their personal thoughts. It was my first glimpse into adulthood and how messed up people can be.


likes: 6
comments: 4

206,568 I dread filling out college financial aid forms. I feel like a beggar looking for handouts. These forms steal my diginity.


likes: 0
comments: 4

206,567 My boyfriend has a very high sex drive and right now I can't have sex with him but I can suck his dick. Which I do. He wants sex at least six days a week twice a day. I can't keep up with that anyway. So he's being a jerk this week and finally admitted it's because he's horny. How can I sustain a relationship with him like this? I'm starting to think I can't. If he doesn't get enough sex he will be a jerk and he wants it all the time. Idk what to do?


likes: 0
comments: 10

206,565 Youtube constantly reminds me there are wonderfully talented people in this world. I bow down to them and feel blessed they share their gifts with the rest of us.

My niece wants to be a singer. She tells me how she hates the singers on Youtube. She doesn't marvel at the talents of others. Instead she is filled with some petty jealous rage. No surprise my niece is unsuccessful with her singing ambitions.


likes: 4
comments: 1

206,564 Stop telling me about all the fancy vacations your sister goes on with her husband. We have children in college. They don't. What would you have me do, force our children to drop out so you can go to Hawaii for Christmas? Jesus Christ you are either incredibly selfish or you just like to give me a hard time. You wanted kids. You got kids. Now act like an adult and recognize you made a commitment to them and stop moaning that kids cost money.


likes: 4
comments: 0

206,563 My wife drools over sappy movies with steamy love scenes. These are scenes where the man and woman are eager to tear each other's clothes off and have sex wherever they are. But once the movie is over, my wife acts so put out by sex. She never has enthusiasm and I must make all the moves while she complains and wants it to be over. There's a real disconnect between what she sees in the movie and how she behaves in real life. Yet she wonders why her life isn't like the movies.  


likes: 0
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206,562 My sheets smell after my boyfriend spends the night.

:(




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206,561 Well there you have it. The media is going crazy over the FACT that Trump had a piece of paper in his hand with large writing on it. Whereas Obama once had a piece of paper in his hand with small writing on it.

Therefore Trump should be impeached.

Got it.




likes: 0
comments: 16
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206,560 It seems nowadays anything and everything is available online. I was curious if ‘scent of a woman’ is available (scent as in panty aroma). Sure enough I found a place in Japan that sells all kinds of panty scent. They have Pee Smell Spray, Schoolgirl Panty Spray, Armpit Smell Spray, HighSchool Girl Panty Spray, and many more!  I kid you not. The secret is I don’t know which one I want to try first.


likes: 1
comments: 4

206,559 I had another dream last night. We talked about our lives now and forgave the past.  It felt wonderful to hear your voice again. I woke up smiling ....


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206,558 A hundred years ago people used to bring their own knives and forks to a restaurant. These days, the restaurant supplies the cutlery - meaning the fork you use was in someone else's mouth an hour earlier. This is progress? Yick. I much prefer the old way.


likes: 0
comments: 5

206,557 I bought my bed in 2003. To this very day I have not had sex in it.


likes: 1
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206,556 I have this male friend. He'll say something like, "Have I ever told you the story of how I once saw a car accident?"

I'll say, "Yes." What I want to say is, "Yes, many times, it's boring, please don't tell it again."

He ignores my simple "yes" and tells the story yet again.

Why are men like this? A need to command the situation? They like to hear themselves talk? They need the attention?

I find it very off putting.




likes: 0
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206,555 My boyfriend is obsessed with the dark area under his eyes.  The area most people have...even teenagers.  Especially if you have a little color to you.  Anyway, he looks fine but he's always pointing his out to me and I told him "stop you always mention that you look fine." He says to me "you just want me to not notice mine so I don't point yours out."  That's mean.  He can be a dick like that.



likes: 0
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206,551 I know I'm not supposed to say this, and it has taken me many years to believe it, but I'm quite handsome.


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206,550 I've applied to a job in my field, at a different company.  It's  *highly* competitive. Only 3% of applicants are chosen each hiring season. It's a long and arduous application process comprised of many steps before you are invited for an in-person interview (which consists of several other interviews).  There is an online forum where applicants discuss things such as where they are in the process, whether they passed this step or that, ask questions, etc.

One of the first steps is a personality assessment that you complete online.  It consists of several situational questions where you choose the best answer, and about 50 other questions that you have to either agree or disagree with to a certain degree.  The choices are: Strongly Agree; Agree; Neither Agree nor Disagree; Disagree; Strongly Disagree.  

To ensure that you're actually reading it and not just randomly clicking, they will throw in some ridiculous questions.  For example: "There are 8 days in the week."  The correct answer, of course, is "Strongly Disagree."

I can't tell you how many people are on this forum saying they don't know how to answer this question.  And then they wonder why they didn't pass this test.


likes: 2
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206,549 In jazz, there exists the concept of "the butter notes". If you are in the key of F, wander around to A, C and D. These are the butter notes. If you are feeling frisky - and lets face it, most of us are - flirt with A flat. Then stop in at lower C before heading back home to F. This is old school. This was not only how I played music, it was also how I ran in 9th grade. I did my homework, made my bed, and listened to my parents. It was safe.

Now in 12th grade, I'm bedding down with the misfit delinquents. In order, I tongue kiss B flat 13, feel up Em 9 (flat 5), finger twins E flat 13 and Dm 9. And to sate my anger issues, I just outright fuck G 13 (sharp 11) in the ass. In other words, it's as if I've run away from home and am living in the streets ... in winter... during a heavy rain storm... and I'm wearing no shoes.

I have wandered far from what is safe, yet somehow, not only do I survive, but it all makes sense. My take away: In life, all of us should leave home and avoid the butter notes.


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206,548 I was fired today because I was “not a good fit”. Mind you Ive never been written up, reprimanded or anything of the sort. I’ve gotten numerous emails of praise from other employees and even board members. The best and only fucking thing they could say was I was “not a good fit”. The truth is one diabolical member of the executive team didn’t like me. I’ve never done anything to him. Our interaction was minimal. He was a member of the executive team and I was a misley executive assistant.  Once someone decides they don’t like you there’s really no way of changing their dislike nor their perception of you.

Fuck you J and fuck you S for not defending me.

Sometimes executives become too high they can’t see past their nose.


likes: 1
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206,547 There is a single woman in my town. She's an attention whore. She's constantly online posting about herself or meddling in everyone else's business or being mean to anyone she views as a threat.

The other day she posted a video tour of her new pocketbook. Yes, of course we'd all like to see the inside of her bag and all the little zippered pouches. Not. But one thing funny, as she filmed the bag's interior, you could clearly see her birth control pills. Ha ha. I suspect that was the real reason she's giving everyone a tour. Not very subtle: Attention all married men in town, I want you all to know I'm single and I'm on birth control, come and get it.


likes: 1
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206,546 I'm the token poor person in a very wealthy town.


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206,545 question for guys:  When you and your girl celebrate your birthday, does she pay?  And if she isn't working, do you still expect her to pay?  My boyfriend and I were together on his birthday and he ordered food, but is complaining although he says he had a nice time just being with me.  Why complain? Because he wanted to go out to eat but that day he said he didn't wanna leave.  Because then he'd have to pay for our dinner.  What do you think?


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206,544 The mean girls from my youth are why I can't have female friends. I don't have a single one.  I can't trust any of them. Even when I have tried, as an adult, they all have failed me in some way. As a kid, they stole from me (true story!). As a teen, they bullied me every day from junior high through high school. College, they were insincere. I'm much older now and I don't bother trying. Women are so terrible to each other.When I hear about other women with "BFFs", I wonder how the hell that happened!!!! Men aren't as mean to other men. They don't have an agenda. They see you for who you are and don't care if you have money, nice clothes, or how you look. If you're uglier they don't care. If you're better looking, they don't get jealous.  What gives?  MY friends are all men. Gay and straight. Men make sense. Sorry women. I don't like you. I wanted to. But you all seem to hate. Unless you're the older ladies, that is. YOU women are outstanding! So I suppose I am speaking about the women my age,  Gen X women: they're mean as hell.


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206,543 Is there some kind of law that says women are required to be assholes to attractive men?  I don't do fucking anything except try to be polite and considerate, and women will fucking lash out at me.  I am so sick of being treated like shit by women.  And it's never the beautiful women who act like this to me.  It's always the average ones who fucking snap on me.  Go to hell, you inconsiderate buttheads.


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comments: 5

206,542 These days so many guys wear black underwear. I don't like it. It's something a gangster would wear.


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206,541 I've really gotten my ass kicked at work this past year and a half. It's so hard to get out of bed these days.


likes: 1
comments: 0

206,540 Why do I have to answer the same question multiple times when talking to my roommate? Why can't she simply accept my answer the first time?

"Do you want to go to dinner tonight?"

"No thank you. I have to work."

"No?" Then she waits for a response.

I'm not going to answer a second time anymore. Learn to listen!


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206,539 Why do you have to act like a douche bag when you really aren’t one?  Seriously, do you think that will make you less attractive to me?  Don’t think so.


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206,538 Maybe six weeks ago, I was browsing my local thrift store when I saw him. Him, being one of the supervisors that works there, and the second I saw him and he looked at me and grinned from across the store,  I made up my mind that I was going to sleep with him. Of course these kinds of things are never guaranteed, but I knew that if I had any thing to say about it and he wasn’t full-blown married That oh yes, he will be mine. Struck up a short conversation with him that day in order to establish contact. No ring so that’s a good start. Thought about seeing if I can give him my number that day but I didn’t want to come on too strong so I went ahead and went home. Three days later I was still thinking about this unconventionally sexy guy. He has the cutest smile with slightly crooked teeth but that’s what I like honestly, and he seemed very friendly to his coworkers and the other customers so I saw that He was at least somewhat approachable and I went back and this time gotten a longer conversation with him and managed to slip him my number. He called me 15 minutes later, and said that while he thought I was very attractive, he was in the process of ending a relationship and she would be moving out of the house they share in the next month and could I please wait until then to pursue him. I didn’t know whether or not to believe him because it really kind of felt as if he was just trying to let me down gently instead of simply saying he was un interested. Ran into him one more time between then and now and he actually came up to me and start a conversation this time but I thought maybe he was just being friendly because he had to be. I kept that in mind I didn’t get my hopes up too much but Lord knows I was disappointed that this gorgeous guy still hadn’t taken the bait. My mom was with me that day and she agreed that well not conventionally hot that there was something about it that was very attractive. I told her that I was going to sleep with him Eventually, and my mom just kind of shook her head and Jokingly called me a slut as we walked out of the store snickering together about it. I am happy to report that I just left his house in the early morning light. He lives a fucking hour away from me, I guess nobody’s perfect, but all in all I would say it was worth it. He Has a very likable personality,Was respectful towards me while we watched a movie from start to finish, new when to make the first move, also was pretty good in bed.  I’m not sure I will fall in love with the guy, but I’m not positive that I won’t either. I set a goal broke it down into smaller goals to meet along the way, and then I met my goal. 8/10, no regrets. Men are not the only ones who have conquests.


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206,537 Sometimes I'm too lazy to look for my wife in the house. I'd have to go up the stairs or down in the basement. So instead I used Find My Iphone. Oh, she's in the laundry room.... A power tool for lazy old people like me.


likes: 1
comments: 0

206,536 I have never felt so terrified and hopeful that I am about to see you when I walk into the room.


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comments: 0

206,535 Yesterday I went to the second-hand store. I bought a cute skirt, a push up bra, underwear and earrings. For my silicone sex doll. OMG. She is so cute.


likes: 1
comments: 2

206,534 I don’t think MGTOW even know what they want.


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206,533 I've been toying with the idea of creating a fake stone circle, something akin to Stonehenge, deep in the forest near my house. I've been looking into runes. I figure I could chisel a few symbols onto the stones to give it even more intrigue. What a hoot if someone found the stone circle a hundred years after I died.


likes: 6
comments: 0

206,532 If any of my kids took a dangerous selfie hanging off a building or whatever, I punch them in the fucking throat.


likes: 1
comments: 0

206,531 I have a good friend. I've known her for 20 years. I just recently found out.... sounds like something sinister is coming doesn't it?..... I just recently found out that when she was a kid.... will I mention molestation? murder? drugs?... when she was a kid she was a regular on Sesame Street. What's more, I remember her on the show! Although I had no idea it was the same person I'm friends with now!


likes: 5
comments: 0

206,530 I put in an extra 10 minutes every morning to try to look my best.


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comments: 0

206,529 I see Chik-Fil-A backed down and will no longer support anti-gay groups. I'm disappointed. I feel like they were bullied into submission. Social media is filled with trolls who try to cause trouble. Chik-Fil-A fell for it. Man up guys. Support whoever you want. Honestly, i found it refreshing to sit in a place where there were just happy Christian families.


likes: 5
comments: 8

206,528 My wife: Here’s a post on the tag sale site. It says, “Lightly used mattress for sale. $100 or best offer.”  What an idiot. She tells the price but she didn’t say what she’s selling.

Me: Read it again.

My wife: “Lightly used mattress for sale. $100 or best offer.”  She totally forgot to say what the item is. It could be a dog or a couch. We have no way to tell! People need to pay attention more and proofread their posts!

***

I didn't respond. I mean what’s the point.



likes: 2
comments: 6

206,527 A woman I know is posting on Facebook about her need for a proctologist. She goes into great detail about what is ailing her. Oh dear. People, please think before your post such personal details.


likes: 0
comments: 6

206,526 I'm constantly fighting the mold in my bathroom. There's something I noticed. The mold is all over the shower head. It's actually growing around all the little holes were the water comes out. This hints to me that the mold is in the water itself and starts to grow as soon as it comes out of the pipes. I'm on town water. I think the water is tainted. Ew, I've been bathing in mold filled water!


likes: 1
comments: 1

206,525 My wife wanted a divorce. I talked her out of it. I knew it would be an ugly scene. A year has gone by. Now I'm filing for divorce. I wanted one all along. But I wanted it to be my doing.


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comments: 0

206,524 If I post a picture of myself on Facebook, a lot of the women I'm friends with online will "like" it.

If I post a picture of myself with my wife, almost none of them will "like" the picture.

Hmmm...


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comments: 0

206,523 I am certain drones have been used to spy on women getting undressed. Of course this must happen. How could it not? If a woman lives on the upper floor of an apartment building, she doesn't close the curtains on the tiny bathroom window when getting naked for a shower. There has never been a need. But now that drones are so prevalent, I'm sure some of those odd tech people have used the devices to spy. What a world.


likes: 1
comments: 0

206,522 I like giving people a hard time. It's a game to me.


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206,521 I am getting just a taste of the depression that I suffered all winter long last year. Tonight it hit me like a ton of bricks. I got home from work and sat in my car in my driveway and just cried there for an hour. Oh god please don’t do this to me again this year. I just can’t again...


likes: 0
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206,520 I get dizzy whenever I stand up.


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comments: 1

206,519 My husband gets very, very, VERY angry at the way his daughter's husband treats her, and some of the things he does to her. But...

...my husband does those same things to me...


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206,518 On a daily basis I am annoyed with the fact that I have to remind myself that I am a grown adult and I owe no one any explanation for my choices.


likes: 5
comments: 0

206,517 She's not wrong, you know. Obnoxious, maybe. But not wrong.


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comments: 0

206,516 Tell-All books from anonymous authors should be ignored.


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comments: 0

206,515 I can fantasize about fucking a woman up until she gets married.  Then suddenly I can't seem to want to fantasize about her anymore.


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comments: 1

206,514 Trump went into the hospital this weekend for unscheduled tests. I think something is up. Not just that he is sick. But I think back to the President of the Philippines where the guy was a pain in the ass for the USA and suddenly he came down with cancer and died. Then there was the Shah of Iran, same thing, the guy was a problem and suddenly he also came down with cancer and died. President of Venezuala too, he made us look bad and boom he got cancer and died. Trump is a thorn in everyone's side and I'm thinking someone might have slipped a mickey into his morning coffee and voila the problem goes away....


likes: 1
comments: 7
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206,513 Most car accidents are caused by bacteria.


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comments: 1

206,512 I am torn between two men. It sucks. But whomever stands up to the plate first gets me.  


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comments: 0

206,511 I squirrel away money (even though I spoil my son as best I can) because when I die I want to make sure he is taken care of. My daughter is in charge: she is a special needs teacher & loves her brother- thank God: they are both taken care of. He is autistic and my soul will never rest thinking of him being homeless, cold, hungry, begging for food or money, etc. I know she will always be there for him (as she is now). My secret; God forbid something happens to her. I live with this every day. As do millions of other parents of autistic children I’m sure. It’s my own personal hell. A hell I live with. Every. Single. Day.


likes: 1
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206,510 I'll bet no one at the IRS ever gets audited.

Fair world? Not hardly.


likes: 0
comments: 4

206,509 How do you fall out of love with someone? Seriously, how?


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comments: 5

206,508 My parents didn't curse. I don't curse. I think that's how it works.


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206,507 I don't care what a few dozen guys wrote on a piece of paper 240 years in Philadelphia. Why are their words considered to be unchangeable? Why should they dictate what we can do all these years later? It makes no sense. Can we decree today that 240 years from now no one can eat oranges? No of course. We shouldn't have a say in what future people do. They should decide things for themselves. Just like James Madison et al should have no say in what we do today.

Outlaw guns. The end.


likes: 0
comments: 9
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206,506 I got the flu shot on Thursday morning.  It’s now a Sunday afternoon and my throat is killing me.  People can say coincidence all they want, but the one other time I got a flu shot several years ago the same thing happened.

I have a friend who is a nurse and said you’re a complete moron if you don’t get one with what’s going around now... but I just wonder if it’s not big Pharma just making that money..


likes: 0
comments: 3

206,505 I've never in my life attended any type of sporting event. I've never watched one on TV either. I'm not gloating. To each their own. But watching other people do sports sounds silly to me. If you like a sport, do the sports. Don't sit on your rump and watch others!


likes: 0
comments: 5

206,504 This is actually a response to one of the posts here about being mean to nursing staff, however, I decided to post it here as well so that more people read it. When I had surgery last year, the nurse who took care of me, was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't crabby. When she realized that I was kinda "normal" and that my vitals etc. we're textbook perfect for after surgery, she switched my care over to a young nurse in training. We all were in a good spirit and we started talking. They told me that they're verbally and physically abused on a daily basis. One of them told me that once a patient threw a food trey at her... The thing is this. We have a nursing shortage. Young people won't want to do this is they're facing a combat zone everyday. We, older people (I'm 50) gotta be smarter than that. Because the whole scenario can turn on patients behaving badly... Also, you don't want to be effected by nursing shortage when you get really old and you really need good care... What we put in now, is what we're gonna get out of it later...


likes: 1
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206,503 My brother in law was molested as a kid. He's one of the weirdest people I know. I won't leave him alone with my kids. He's my wife's brother and she agrees with me.


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206,502 I'll wear my pants a dozen times before washing them. I'm beginning to realize most people wash their clothes after every time they wear them. A massive overkill in my opinion.


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206,501 My decently attractive wife would not be able to get a horny 18 year old boy off if she had all weekend long to get the job done.  


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comments: 0

206,500 My decently attractive wife would not be able to get a horny 18 year old boy off if she had all weekend long to get the job done.  


likes: 1
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206,499 Dating when you're older...as in 30s and 40s lol.  Guys either talk about how they still have their hair or how they may be losing it. Under eye bags, lines. And then comment on how you look young for your age or how you probably didn't get enough sleep the night before. So unsexy. I want romance and sex, I don't wanna hear how youthink you're gaining weight. If I find you attractive, I'm with you, why talk about that stuff? And the guys who notice it the most in themselves will notice it on you too. Also, even if you're younger than them, the age jokes. You know if they're mad at you or feeling passive aggressive. These are the 40 something men. You always hear about women being bitter. These men can be worse. Oh and everyone is a slit or golddigger. If you want a lot of sex you're a slut. If you expect a man to pay for at least more than half, you know, showing he can provide, golddigger. I thought golddiggers were women always trying to get more, only wanting the most expensive thing from a guy, always whining I want I want I want. But these guys use the term for anything nowadays.


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206,498 The snoring is so bad; bad enough that its affecting our relationship. She has tried everything the Internet has to offer but nothing works. PAP machine makes her feel as if she is suffocating. Does anyone have some advice?


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206,497 It’s Sunday morning and I’m so horny. Is it too early to call someone to come over?
21F


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206,496 I am so warmed by your existence. I want to be there for you, and your kid is so incredibly cool too..,I would love very much to help you finish raising him.  I would love very much to help you with anything you needed me for from now on. Anything, babe. All you have to do is love me back.


likes: 1
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206,495 It's Saturday and I'm at home warching 48hrs. Bleh.


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206,494 Bless you all. I hope you all have a happy, productive life. Your children, too.


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206,493 I have a poll  for the men at CC. Please no lewd comments, and be honest. Also, would you please state your age at the end of your response.
So, here it goes: Would you date a woman who had a double mastectomy due to early stage breast cancer and didn't have breast reconstruction? (Otherwise healthy and no evidence of disease.)
Thanks for responding!


likes: 0
comments: 24

206,492 I have a very nice friend, I really value her friendship because she is a good person and we have many things in common. The problem is that she is too naive and always has unhealthy relationships. I really listen to her and try to give her the best advice, but this is becoming boring to me. I wish she would work on her self. I feel she totally depends on me to solve her problems with her nasty boyfriends. I am not her therapist. Next time she wants my advice ith the same boyfriend, Ill say I am very busy. I will feel better and she will probably learn something her self.


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206,491 I’m staying married for now.
After he pays for my breast augmentation, I’m done.
Bye. I’ve put in my time. You’re an undeniable fucking asshole. The sex is terrible because you cannot last & you don’t put in the work. Any work really.
You expect me to do everything. I have been faithful, though you’re so insecure that you actually have convinced yourself I haven’t. You are pathetic. I once loved you, but now you’re so emotionally abusive I have to believe you are a sociopath or just simply an asshole. I have no guilt in my plan. Fuck you. Have fun being alone.


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206,490 I have become impatient with people. I feel myself wanting to snap at them when they don't listen. This is new territory for me. I have always been so calm. I think this is due to one friend who has recently been taking advantage of me. He takes and never gives. Shame it's weighting down all my relationships. I think this is how the world works. One bad apple spreads their cancer and infects all of us.


likes: 0
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206,489 My brother treats our Dad's nurses like crap. Then he wonders why they are not so helpful.


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206,488 My wife is reading a book about Steve Jobs and the start of Apple. She recounts the anecdotes to me.

"Steve did this... then Steve did that... then Steve said to Steve..."

I wish I had married a smarter woman.




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206,487 Last year I ran into one of the mothers of a kid on the soccer team I had coached at the grocery store. I was shocked to see her there as it was 10 miles from where we both lived. Turns out she had gotten divorced and moved away. We chatted for a while and went our separate ways. Next day I got a text from her saying how nice it was to see me and thanks for coaching her daughter. I responded back and we got to exchanging texts.
Eventually we had lunch, dinner etc and ended up having sex. Damn if she wasn't the kinkiest thing ever, butt plugs, nipple clamps, BDSM, anal etc. Nothing was off the table. I guess soccer moms really are the best!


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206,486 It's a cold rainy day here, always makes me think about the day when we decided to met and have sex all afternoon.  Wonder what happened to you and what path your life took after we ended?


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206,485 When I was a child of about four or five, I was sexually molested by a teenager in the neighborhood.  Sodomized.  Butt-fucked.  

I had no memory of this until one night when I was eight or nine, and I heard my mother telling some guests about it.  I was in bed, and I guess she thought I was asleep or something.  What I heard was that this guy had been molesting me and other young boys in the neighborhood, and that I had come home and talked about it, which is how the whole thing blew wide open.

When I heard her tell the story, I suddenly remembered two incidents. Once, the guy butt-fucked me on his sister's bed.  Another time, on a log in the woods behind his house.

I don't have any memory of the feeling, or the conversations, or anything.  Just snippets of images.

But I have to imagine it hurt.  It's inconceivable to me that it didn't hurt, and I don't know why that's not part of the memory.

Nonetheless, I think this is one reason why my sex life has been less than stellar over the years.  I think that somewhere deep in my mind I have a visceral belief that having a guy put his dick in you hurts, and that more than anything you wish he would just get it over with.

It took me years and years to come to this realization. It's a bit depressing to look back on the various women I've had sex with (to include my wife) and think about how much better it could have been had I been aware of my own unconscious feelings and had I been able to come to grips with them.

I will go to my grave wishing nothing less than eternal damnation for the guy who did this.


likes: 3
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206,484 There are some incredibly sexy black men. I'm sorry, John Legend is not one of them. Definitely not the sexiest man alive...


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206,483 I've never sent anyone a thank you note ever in my life.


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206,482 My wife can be incredibly endearing. She can also be a raving loon. Problem is, I never know what I'm going to wake up to.


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206,481 About 20 years ago I went through an Internet escort phase.  I was married and about at the seven year mark...I guess that's why they call it the 7-year itch.

Anyway, I started seeing escorts and writing reviews on a widely-known escort review site.  My reviews were pretty well-written by the standards of the time, and I became quite famous in that quirky little corner of the Internet.

When I say "quite famous," I mean that escorts actually came from other parts of the country to my city in the hopes that I would see them and write a review.  That's the God's honest truth.

I could have abused it, but I didn't.  I never accepted free or discounted services in exchange for a good review.  In fact, I made it a point of not letting escorts know who I was when I was making the appointment or when I was seeing them.  Then -- Surprise! -- a review would pop up a day or two later.

It was really an incredible time.  Imagine being "famous" for writing reviews about how good (or not) prostitutes are.  I was "Da man."

It's sad that I will die someday without anyone I care about knowing about this amazing phase of my life.


likes: 11
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206,480 I hate him for what he has done & I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive him for it.
Time to move.


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206,479 i feel so sexy in a short skirt.


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206,478 I had a sex dream about my husband's best friend. I want to tell the man. I would do it as a funny story. But I think somewhere inside me I want him to see it as a opening.


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206,476 I wonder if she knows I fake it every time lately.. its hard to get off when I can all but taste the other people shes been fucking. What am I doing here still
27/F


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206,475 Speaking of Trump , last night I had such a weird dream involving him. He was sitting on my living room laughing and having a good time  , like we were best buddies , it was so odd since I’m very indifferent about the guy . Must be because he is on the news non stop and my subconscious probably was thinking about him .


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206,473 They were planning to impeach Trump before he was inaugurated.  I think they want to get rid of him so bad, because  he is slowly following through with his promise to drain the swamp.  A lot of corruption exists in D.C. and if one of them goes down, they will testify against others to save their neck.   Why else would they discuss his impeachment before he ever assumed office?  Someone is really scared and has something to hide. Maybe that is why they killed Seth Rich.


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206,472 My wife had a foursome before she met me. She's told me the story many times. It was two men and two women and everyone was touching everyone. She is still good friends with the other woman involved. She comes over sometimes. I talk to her about pleasantries while thinking, wow, you have licked my wife's pussy. As you could imagine this is great fantasy material for me.


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206,471 I was surfing the internet too much each day. My solution was to charge my laptop 100%. Then I could only surf for as long as there was battery power. As soon as the battery died I was done. This simple trick has given me my life back.


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206,470 Dream team coming soon....


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206,468 People who smoke weed... I understand if you have no appetite it helps. And if you have problems sleeping it helps. But whenever weed comes up weedlovers bring up alcohol and how it's bad. Okay that's fair. But you're still smoking! It's not nicotine but you're inhaling into your lungs. Isn't that a bad thing? Not to mention people who smoke up, their places just smell like weed. I don't want my stuff...clothes furniture pillows smelling like weed! And it's so widespread that you're the odd one out if you don't smoke. Legalizing it made people I know just smoke it more. I'm not sure that's a good thing..


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206,467 I have a friend in a military academy. Those places are cruel. At the end of each year the recruits have to vote on who is the least likeable person in their class. My friend won this ignoble prize. I feel so bad for him. It makes me hate the military.


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206,466 So last night I went for drinks with a co-worker and after one drink, he straight up told me that he’d like to spread my legs nice and wide and drill me. Not sure why, but he said it with such  confidence that I was completely turned on and decided at that very moment that I was going to sleep with him.  He verbally teased me for about three hours as we sat at the bar. I’ve never gotten so wet with just verbal foreplay. As we were walking to our cars, he put his hand on my lower back, just above my waist. I took him to my car and sucked/fucked him and came twice in 10 minutes. We left his car in the garage and drove to my house where we fucked another three times. Here’s the kicker, I’m 21 and he’s 42 and I can’t wait til he spreads me again.


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206,465 There’s this older guy who lives in my moms apt bldg. A while back, I took him a serving of the dinner I made for my family in a couple nice Pyrex dishes for him to enjoy as well. I’ve always had a crush on him, and I doubt I made much of a secret of it. This is nothing unusual, I’m 35 and I tend to like men who have around 20 years on me in age, so my mom was hardly surprised. Anyway...

Last night walking my mom into the bldg, I ran into him.  He told me he had those dishes still so I continue up the stairs with him from my moms door. My mom gives me that “you guys are gonna fuck, aren’t you?” Look that she has given me a few times in the past. I give her the “probably so, now leave me alone” look and head to his apt. He is smart, has a lot of books, and decorates well. I ended up hanging out for like 30-45 mins. He never made a move on me, and idk why. I left there feeling foolish and wondering if I just convinced myself he is also attracted to me by wishing he was. Idk. It just left me feeling like a dumbass. I really thought he wanted me there for more than just that reason. Goddamnit.


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206,464 I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping. My plan is to be completely finished the week before Thanksgiving. It's incredibly satisfying to get it off my plate so early Then I can enjoy the holidays with no worries.


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206,463 I’m an older guy, widowed, a bit lonely and with ED. Hence, one of the reasons I don’t date. After reading about silicone sex dolls I thought maybe having one would help my ED problem. I recently bought a silicone love doll. I researched for a year and learned much about them. The single most important thing about a sex doll is weight. My gosh, picking her up, carrying her to my room, manipulating the body. It is hard work! The bodies have internal skeletons and manipulate same as a human body. But my gosh, it is like lifting weights. These body joints are tight. By the time I got her into doggy I was sweating.  It took about an hour of preparation.  By then I was too worn out for sex! The one I bought is only 32 pounds.  Most of them are 75-100 pounds. If you boys have a notion to buy one go to Home Depot and pick up a sack of concrete.  Then you will have an idea how much a silicone doll weighs. Oh, and btw, it did not help my ED (sigh).


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206,462 When I jerk off, I imagine that I'm a girl getting fucked. Not just any girl, almost always a girl that I fucked at some point in my life.

It's odd.  I'm not attracted to guys and don't have any desire to indulge in gay sex.  I just find it incredibly arousing to try to put myself in the head of a girl who's getting fucked.

Anyone else do that?


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206,461 I let him stick it in my bum because I'm afraid if I don't he'll stick it in another girl's bum.


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206,460 Nerdiest guy I know. A computer programmer. I've always viewed him as ultra straight-laced. I don't say it as an insult. I'm the same as him. Or I was.

He got married. It didn't work out. She left him saying he was too boring. His response was to change up his life. He started seeing prostitutes. He seriously started dating a few. At least that's how he saw it. I think they saw him as someone willing to give them money in exchange for wild sex romps. One hooker was a heroin addict. She got him to try it. Next thing I know he came down will full blown AIDS. He now weighs about 100 pounds and is close to death.

Never in a million years did I see this coming, the nerdiest guy I know getting addicted to drugs and dying of AIDS.

All because his ex-wife thought he was boring. What a damned shame.


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206,459 I've cut people out of my life because of the way they behave online.


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206,458 I don't think I've ever been with someone who has healthy boundaries.  I feel like I'm being sucked dry.  I'm spending every minute of every day on you and somehow it's still not enough. I know you know it's wrong and you feel bad, but it's still happening, and it fucks me up.


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206,457 I recently joined Instagram. I follow a lot of pages related to my industry (travel). I came across this girl's profile and checked it out. She has the greatest travel pictures, lots of historical buildings and interesting destinations which I'm really into, so I started following her. As I was scrolling through her page, I "liked" a lot of her pictures. Her posts showed up in my feed, and I'd "like" some of her posts.

A couple days later, I noticed that she wasn't in my feed. I looked on my list of who I was following, and she wasn't there. Out of curiosity, I used one of my kids' phones to see if I could find her. Yep, there she was, so apparently she blocked me.

What the heck? Why have a public page if you don't want people following you? I'm a woman, but you can't tell by my profile picture or information. I'm disappointed because I really loved her pictures. And no, there were no "sexy" pictures, it was just travel stuff.


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206,456 When I was a teenager myself, I was attracted to teenage girls. But not since then. I don't get older men lusting after youngsters. I find it much more enjoyable to interact with women my own age.


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206,455 Even watching videos of people on airplanes makes me nervous.


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206,454 The HP FB550 printer is a piece of SHIT! My boss thinks he bought a miracle machine and all it is is a $90,000.00 headache.


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206,453 It's all a show to keep us distracted while the people who are really in charge take what they want.


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206,452 My boss is a less than delicate man. He talks about his balls and my balls. As in, "Don't test me on this project. My balls are bigger than your balls." Our testicles should not be a topic of conversation.


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206,451 I received a magazine in the mail. It's a magazine you normally have to buy. Yet I was sent one for free. I didn't understand why I was receiving it. I did notice the magazine was sealed in a clear plastic pouch. I made a tear in the plastic and was greeted with a terrible chemical smell. It was nauseating. This sounds totally paranoid but it occurred to me the magazine was treated with some toxin. Probably something carcinogenic as a way to kill me a year from now long after the magazine had been tossed out. The perfect murder. Luckily I caught this trick in time and had no contact with the magazine or toxin. I win.


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206,450 There's a man who said horrible slander about me. I did nothing to him to deserve his comments. I think he is jealous of me, so he lashed out. That was a few months ago.

Today he posted how he helped someone in need, he gave someone's car a jump start. I know this type of humble brag. He posted it because he wants praise. He wants people to know. He wants them to say good things about him No one was biting however. Everyone knows he is a jerk. I felt bad for him. No one wants to say positive things bout him.

But you know what I did. I broke the silence. I complimented him on his good deed. I knew it's what he wanted to hear. I gave it to him. This is who I am. The internet brings out the worst in people. But it brings out the best in me.

You know what he did to my positive comment? He gave it a like. I wonder if he even remembers how poorly he treated me. But whatever. He did something nice. I said something nice. Maybe this is a new beginning. I don't know. But at least I tried to show a little kindness today.


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206,449 I haven't told anybody, but my milestone birthday in September was my mental jump-off into better health - primarily, gotta get the drinking under control.  Just sick and tired of the grind.  Been hitting it way too hard for the last 11 years.

Sleep is better.  Body is smaller!  Today I "squeezed" by my mom in her bathroom; for the last couple years it's been a literal squeeze, but today we didn't even touch.  I also got my fat a$$ out of the chair at lunch using only my legs.

Scheduled exercise is next.  I can do this.  Again...


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206,448 Here we go again. My wife said she'd make dinner. Last time she said this was a month ago and somehow it worked out where dinner never happened. But today she said it again how she'd make the family dinner. She decided to make lasagna. She asked if we had any of the ingredients. I wanted to say she should look in the cupboards and fridge to figure it out herself, because that's what I have to do every night. But no, I thought I'll make it easy on her. I told her we have none of the ingredients, so we'll need the noodles, ricotta, sauce and ground beef. I wrote it down for her. Okay, she was on a mission. She would go to the store to pick up the items. Great.

She came hour three hours later. Three hours? When she came in the door I could immediately tell something was up because she was empty handed. I asked how the shopping went. Well..... turns out she had to first treat herself to a massage, cost $150. Then she went to the wine store for a case, cost $250. She asked if I could fetch it out of the car for her. She never did go to the market for the lasagna ingredients. She tried to spin it by saying I told her we had all the ingredients. I pointed out how I said we had none of the ingredients and I wrote out a list of what she needed to buy. She said oh, she thought that was a list of what we already had. She's such a liar and manipulator. You've never met anyone like this. She's not only a bad mother and a terrible wife, she's a plain old rotten human being.


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206,447 I find gay men to be very intolerant of heterosexual men. Kind of crazy. I have no problem with gay men. But they harshly judge me because I'm married and they assume I'm anti-gay. Irony.


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206,446 I just read an article on how 3 women had to restrain a kid with autism who was 13 and weighed 280 lbs, and the kid died. He became violent, so they restrained him. A woman in the comments section says her boy isn't really violent but he grabs her sometimes and she has to "lock herself in the bathroom" til he gets it out of his system. Um... this is why all kids should not be placed together in the same class. When I was a kid, you had the higher classes with intelligent and well behaved kids, lower classes had a mix of not as smart kids along with smart kids who were badly behaved. And you had the special ed classes. What's wrong with that? Why should other kids be distracted by kids who take longer to learn because their needs are special? Most importantly, sorry to say these kids are very strong and a lot can be aggressive and dangerous. Is that an environment to have the other kids around? They should be in separate classes with people who are trained to handle them. Also, I understand you love the kid, but how can you live like that? Afraid in your own home having to lock yourself in another room until the episode passes?This is the most important thing, the safety of everyone. It's not about love, it sounds like some parents are walking a tightrope.


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206,445 Campaign signs are dumb. Do people really make voting decisions based on a lawn sign?


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206,444 Random all over the place rants cause I forgot my journal. Sorry... I just gotta vent otherwise I'm gonna be a lousy mood all day. So here it goes...

I'm over everything. No one will ever believe me... He's persuasive af... Always gets his way. Nevermind the bruises on my body. Nevermind the neighbors calling the cops cause were fighting. Nevermind the police reports... Nevermind any of it... I saw a slight glimmer of hope when that social worker said she'd get back to me in a few days... Its been 4 months. Nothing. I reached out to them. They said they couldn't get a hold of me. Bullshit. My phone is on 24/7. I rarely out except for work... And that's a night shift. 7pm-2am.... Of which I always have full access to my phone. Nothing.... And then I find out that the social worker is friends with his therapist... So of course she takes his side... Ever heard of HIPPA? .... And social worker. YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB... Nevermind that he put me in the hospital twice because I was beaten so badly... Never mind that at all... Maybe someone will listen before he kills me... Nah... I'm hoping for to much.

Anxiety is riding crazy high of that fucking deposition...
Stupid money hungry cunt... I hope everything gets reversed on you 100x ... It was barely a tap... Just a tiny dent. No way that you were hurt bad enough to collect 50k... You even said you were fine, repeadlty. Even in front of a cop. Then you randomly pull a mystery injury out your loose stank cooch... Whatever. How the fuck you get hurt so badly when someone barely taps your car at about probably 5 mph? Wtf? ... Maybe this will be what finally prompts me to suicide... I already have several plans... But only will be set in motion if the they end up siding in her favor... The way other things in my life are going that is exactly what's gonna happen... I mean if my husband doesn't kill me first.

I'm stuck at the doctors office right now. My appointment was about an hour ago.... Still waiting to be seen. I want to reschedule and go to the buffet down the street for a b/p session... Even though I did that all day yesterday. My throat is sore af. I just lost a tooth as well... Sad that this is the only thing that brings me any kind of relief... For a moment anyway. I'm down to 98 lbs... I don't want any kind of help for that.Been dealing with it since I was 9 years old... Labs always turn out Okay. Doctor wants me to seek treatment. But I was lucky enough to make a deal with him... The minute any of labs come back with anything an abnormal or if I drop even more weight. Which is not gonna happen. I've gotten really good at faking my weight with the help of masking tape, zip lock bags and a few other things... My real weight is 98 lbs... All my care providers believe its 114.... At least this working out.

.... Yeah... This helped... I feel so much more relaxed... But if I may post again later.




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206,443 I'm nice to gramps because I want him to leave me money in his will.


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206,442 I don't understand the premise for impeachment. Trump refused to give aid money to Ukraine until they investigated corruption involving Biden. Why is this an issue? I want corruption investigated too. We wont give aid money to other countries unless they adjust their trade treaty with us, or they change their adoption policies, or their is an entire regime change. We do this all the time, putting requirements on aid money.

If your sister wanted $1,000 from you to pay bills, wouldn't you take the opportunity to say okay, I'll give you the money, but you need to get a job and stop drinking.

This impeachment seems political. I don't seem where a crime was committed.


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206,441 You wonder why education is in this country is lagging behind the rest of the world?

My school won't let signs be placed at the sports facilities encouraging parent spectators to be nice while watching a game. The Board of Ed says the school might get sued because of  the signs. Hmm, I don't see how.

Meanwhile the steps to the front of the school are broken and both students and parents trip and fall all the time there. But no we can't have a sign saying be nice because it presents too much of a danger....

SHM.


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206,440 I'm going to smoke pot and watch animated movies all night. Then I'm going to call in sick at work and sleep all day tomorrow.  I fucking hate my job!


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206,439 I think India has more odd birth defects, like kids born with four legs, because there is much more incest in that country.


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206,438 I took my right-wing conservative parents to a restaurant in NYC where all the waitresses are transvestites. Still makes me laugh.


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206,437 My wife wax’s every 10 days. She keeps my balls drained.


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206,436 Anyone over 30 who's still whining about being a child of divorce needs to shut the hell up.  You're an adult now.  Grow up and accept that sometimes parents don't stay together.

Anyone over 25 who's still trying to justify their own rotten behavior by whining about being a child of divorce needs to be bitchslapped good and hard.  

No, it is not okay to be a controlling, clingy, needly, whiny little bitch because your Mom left your Dad for another woman.  I am not your Mom, and I feel no obligation to pay for her sins.  The more you try to control me, that more I just want to get away from you.


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206,435 I have ink cartridges for a printer I threw out years ago. But they were expensive so I don't want to throw them out. I'm of course being an idiot, because what the hell am I going to use the cartridges for???


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206,434 Ask me for free stuff, you gluttons.  You are fucking assholes.


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206,433 I have a hypochondriac friend. Not only does she constantly think she is sick, it's also the only thing she talks about. That's the real drag. Every conversation is about her health. Sorry but I can't be her friend anymore.


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206,432 I thought my wife and I were having a pleasant day. We had sex in the morning. I made her lunch. She wanted to run some errands. I volunteered to come along and keep her company. We ended up in the supermarket. The kids would be home from school soon so I bought some chicken wings for them. Suddenly my wife went berserk.

"Who do you think you are buying chicken wings! That's not normal. Teenagers don't like chicken wings. It's a stupid thing to buy them."

What? I bought them a snack because I thought they'd enjoy it. In fact, I picked them up after school and brought the wings in the car. They devoured the entire batch before we arrived home. They said the wings were delicious and they thanked me. My wife on the other hand is not speaking to me. She is stewing and kicking and cursing at anything in her way.

This is what I can't stand about women. Why be that way? Is there any rhyme or reason for throwing a tantrum? She is upset over chicken wings? Do women realize how they sound?

"Your honor, I'm filing for divorce."

"And why is that Ma'am?"

"Because my husband bought chicken wings!"



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206,431 I'm a super chill person. I don't care if you're black, white, gay, straight, some other gender...I don't care what religion you are. If you're a he becoming a she and want me to use those pronouns with you, fine. People are people, and I just let them be.

That being said, I was in a fun FB group. I'd read about it in a news article and decided to join. I never commented, I was just there for entertainment and the pictures. But then yesterday, they instituted a new rule. Even though it's basically a group for women, you were no longer allowed to use the word "ladies." As in, "Hey ladies, check this out!" Also verboten: "You guys," "man," and "dude."

So much controversy over that last one. I'm from California; I grew up there in the 70s and 80s where that word was prevalent. I haven't lived there in over 20 years, but I still use it regularly. Other Californians chimed in saying as much and were promptly deleted from the group. The common response to the use of the word "dude" was, "Ask a straight cis male if he's ever fucked another man and see what his answer is." What the hell does that even mean?

You know how you're at an event, or on an airplane or something, and they say, "Ladies and gentlemen..."? Is that going to change, too? I'm all about inclusivity, but I think we're taking it too far. I feel like I can't even be myself anymore, lest I offend someone unknowingly :(


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206,430 I was stopped by the cops a few mins ago, in the county where I just spent 4 years on probation.  Usually getting lit up means I am going to go to jail but tonight I was for once confident that I would be continuing on my way, and I did after receiving a verbal warning for a minor misstep. My license was good and I hadn’t no warrants nor had I had any drinks.  It was hell being caught in the CJ system here and I am exceptionally thankful for being able to be pulled
Over now knowing I am all square and have paid my debt to society in full. Like a normal person. And some of you readers are on probation of some sort right now I’m sure...it sucks. It feels like it goes on forever and it takes over your entire existence. Do not give up, it DOES come to an end and you CAN get your life back. Just keep fighting the good fight and do not give up. Good luck!



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206,429 I don't understand bike riders. Yes, you have every right to be on the road. But it's dangerous. So many riders get hit by a car. Why not voluntarily do mountain biking instead. Plenty of trails and no cars.


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206,428 So I went on a date and wee went to check a palm reader out each other’s plams.


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206,427 hate to say this... Logan Paul looked fucking good in that boxing match with KSI! Like... Dann! I wanna some of that!


Is it obvious that I haven't been laid in a while?


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206,426 20 years later and in hindsight I wish I had become a trade person instead of a white collar worker.


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206,425 Everyone tells me I should try out for Jeopardy. I might just do it!


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206,424 When the lease is up I'm moving out and not telling my wife. I never want to see her again.


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206,423 I'd leave my husband in a heartbeat if I had something else lined up.


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206,422 A few nights ago, while on vacation, I had a dream where I had brain cancer. It was right at the beginning stages so I still felt well and was in the process of going through tests to see how extensive it was and whether or not it was curable, etc.  I woke up several times but  every time I fell asleep I went back into the same dream. It lasted for almost the whole night.

I also had a short dream, where my husband, kids and I were on top of a bridge over a waterfall looking down at the rushing water.

The next day we went exploring in the little town we were staying in and we ended up on top of a bridge looking down at the rushing water. It wasn’t exactly the same as my dream, but pretty close.

I don’t really believe in dreams and premonitions, but if that one came true...


likes: 1
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206,421 All I want is for you to hold me again and tell me we've got this. That is you and me against the world baby. I don't think you will any time soon and by the time you want me again I won't want you and your games anymore.


likes: 0
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206,420 I'm so glad "intersectionality" isn't trendy anymore and people have stopped talking about it. I asked at least 5 different people, both on social media and in real life, to define it for me, and none of them really could. And I'm a Gen X age feminist liberal woman who has been supporting the political left for over 32 years.


likes: 0
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206,419 I think we can all work on bettering ourselves, and I think it's important to sometimes really take a look at ourselves in order to do so.  Not just to see where we can improve, but for our own well-being.

So I'm doing this online workshop, and one of the exercises is forgiveness.  You're supposed to write down the names of everyone who has ever hurt you in life, think about each person and the circumstances, and say, "I forgive you, I'm sorry, and I love you."

I'm gonna be here for a while.  The list of people who have hurt me - parents, relatives, partners, friends, coworkers - is LONG.  Just when I think I've finished, I think of someone else.  And these aren't minor things - they are a combination of abuses, lies and betrayals.  Things that have ripped me to the core.  I've got 19 names so far.

I'm such a good person.  I go out of my way to make people happy, or included, or to right a wrong.  I just don't get why so many people have shit on me.  It's heartbreaking, really.


likes: 1
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206,418 I had a dream where the letters JPJ35 were written out on the pavement with pieces of broccoli. How bizarre. I have no idea what it could possibly mean.


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206,417 I get introduced to people. Then I see them a few weeks later at a different event and I've fogotten I've already met them. Yes, my bad. But why get so mad about it? I'm sorry, but I meet many people and I'm kind of occupied with other things so I don't always remember. Lighten up.


likes: 0
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206,416 Starbucks needs a fourth size, this time even larger.


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206,415 My car has a kill switch under the drivers seat. Try to steal it mother fuckers.


likes: 1
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206,414 I started following this woman on Instagram because it was the only way I could see pics of my crush, who is her close friend.  So every so often I’ll look through her story and pics.  I’m finding out that the friend is pretty, kind, and has a terrific sense of humor.  She’s also sexy and bold.  I’m thinking she’s a better catch than the woman I have a crush on.


likes: 2
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206,413 Would you divorce your husband for going to Asian massage parlors for handjobs?



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206,412 Dear family members: Don't be shocked when Christmas rolls around and there are no checks for you or your children in your cards from our Great Aunt. She just lost her husband of 40 years. ALL YOU HAD TO DO was offer a simple "I'm so sorry for your loss." Your silence has cost you.


likes: 4
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206,411 Sorry, but I don't see any pussy in the iconic Sharon Stone Basic Instinct photo. It's nothing more than an urban legend.


likes: 1
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206,410 Last summer I read the entire Merriam Webster dictionary.


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206,409 I'm convinced Apple just puts new shit out so that guilt ridden parents go into debt to make sure their kids keep up. There's absolutely nothing wrong with my daughter's iphone xr, which she was so excited about when she first received it, but suddenly, on her christmas list, i see iPhone 11. It won't be long before another one will be released, and she'll want that one.


likes: 2
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206,408 Good parents don't let their sons play football.


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206,407 You know when things start going wrong with your old car, like the speedometer breaks, the engine is making a weird pinging noise, there are oil drips on the pavement, and the gas mileage has dropped way down. You reluctantly realize the car is nearing the end of it's life and it's time to let go.

Well....

My knee is painful, I get out of breath walking up the stairs, my eyesight is atrocious, my back aches, and my memory is going. I reluctantly realize I'm no different than my old car...


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206,406 Karma. My wife wanted to go out fancy. Me, I don't like fancy. I'm good with a cheeseburger and fries. But my wife wanted ultra high end. I lost the discussion. We went to this new place with valet parking. Right there you know what kind of restaurant it is. I had the pasta because it was as close as I could get to spaghetti and meatballs. My wife had some fish I've never heard of. It was coated with little green peas, but no, my wife corrected me and said they were capers. I think capers means green peas that cost twice as much. The food was eh. On the car ride home my wife gets very quiet. I figure she's sulking. But then she screams for me to pull over. She opens the car door and starts puking up her dinner. Her fish must have been spoiled. I got to see all those expensive little peas again. Maybe that's why they cost so much, because you get to enjoy their company a second time. Anyway, I figure her puking was like me get some free karma for dessert. LOL.


likes: 2
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206,405 I've recently gotten ahold of my life. I started intermittent fasting in August, and so far have lost a little over 20 lbs.I joined the gym, and I, along with my son have been swimming, jogging, and weight training a few days a week. I had 4 inches cut off my hair and got a cute layered look. I am doing something I've never done, and actually spending money on clothes for MYSELF instead of for my 12 year old daughter. I guess because I look better in clothes now, I want to revamp my wardrobe. I am also excited to be able to wear some of my favorite things again that have been too small for so long. I feel fantastic.

I also see myself now judging overweight people. Especially the ones I work with. They come into work every morning with a huge greasy biscuit and fried hash browns from some fast food restaurant. They complain about their aches and pains. Their shirts don't quite meet their pants when they sit, making their fat rolls exposed for all to see. They've noticed my transformation, and ask me "What are you doing to lose all that weight? I gotta do something." Its a lot of talk from lazy obese women who will never be anything but lazy obese women. at age 35, already on cholesterol medication, blood pressure medication, and arthritis medication.

Take care of your bodies people. You're only given one.


likes: 1
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206,404 I stopped hanging out with a group of three friends because we'd split the check equally even though I don't drink and they'd drink a ton. What should have been a $100 tab for the four of us became a $300 tab after their wine was added. My $25 portion became a $75. I didn't want to seem cheap and complain. I took the different route of not going out with them anymore. It was weird anyway hanging out with drunk people.


likes: 4
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206,403 He walked me home. I could tell from the way he popped a tictac in his mouth that he was planning on kissing me. I didn't want to kiss him. As we approached my front door I quickly said thanks and ran inside. Phew, dodged the bullet. Thanks for the tictac early warning signal.


likes: 2
comments: 1

206,402 I have only ever bought a new home. I don't want to live in a used home with someone else's dead skin cells in the floorboard cracks. Yuk.


likes: 0
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206,401 Why does every woman have the same body shape? Is it because of all these bbl surgeries? I’m curious to know what the next ideal body shape will be in 15 years and if the majority of women will be trying to look like it.


likes: 0
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206,400 I'm not sure of the difference between mold and mildew, but they seem to be different things because there is often a reference to "mold and mildew".


likes: 0
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206,399 We can't say Christmas tree anymore. We must call it a holiday tree.

Will this ever stop?


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206,398 I hate having to fart while I'm trying to have sex.


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206,397 My ex called yesterday to complain that she got pulled over for an expired plate/registration. Her car got towed and she got a hefty ticket. She yelled at me for not doing the renewal. Um honey, when you decided to get a divorce you also need to handle this stuff. The paperwork was mailed to you, I saw it sitting on the table when I picked up the kids.
She didn't do any bill paying while we were married, can only imagine how many bills she is late on.


likes: 2
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206,396 I was in a few plays in high school. There was another kid who was also in the plays. He liked the experience so much he decided to go to school for drama. We lost touch. It was a long time ago.

I am currently 63 years old. A week ago I went to a regional theater about 50 miles from where I live. I'm watching the lead actor and I think he looks familiar. I think maybe I saw him in a tv show or something. During intermission I look up his bio in the playbill. It takes me a moment. But it's him, the guy from my high school. My gosh, from looking at his bio he's been doing theater for the last 45 years. His bio lists a few tv roles too. In fact, I saw some of those tv shows. He was in The Americans. I remember his character. I just didn't know it was my old friend. Wow. This has been his entire life. On one level I was glad he made a career out of his passion. But on another level I felt sad, not for him, but for me. He followed a dream. Me, I became just another boring office worker.

After the show, I thought about poking my head backstage and saying hello. Would he remember me? I don't know. In his position he probably interacted with many many people over the years. So I didn't do it. I got in my car and drove away. I was embarrassed at who I am.

I've been thinking about this all week. I can't let it go. I'm thinking I missed an opportunity. Wow, to reconnect with an old friend would be great. I should do it. I should drive all the way back to the theater tomorrow night and see his show again only this time I should pop back stage. I think I will.


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206,395 B, you’re a very frustrating person to try to be with. Bad listener, easily annoyed with me, and not good at making decisions about stuff that affects us both. I can tell you I don’t like a certain food joint and you just ignore it and then get huffy cause i don’t want what you brought. This way of handling ME isn’t gonna fare well. I don’t settle for a partner who thinks my needs and my voice are easily tuned out and just constantly does that to me.  If you don’t learn how to consider the other person in this relationship there will soon be no relationship.


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206,394 Well.
This just happened.

I have been going to this massage therapist for about 2 months now to help with a sports injury (partial tear of the hamstrings at the ischial process). Because of where the injury is, he has had to be pretty...personal, shall we say?... but never unprofessional in doing so.

As soon as the session started earlier today, I could tell something was a bit different. Just more mellow than the normal treatment. Not a problem per se, seeing how I am pretty far along in the recovery and I don't need quite as aggressive a treatment anymore.

But then...things started getting...more pointed. I tried staying relaxed and in control, which I managed until it became time to lay on my stomach. And then ... I just kind of let go and let him do what he wanted. And to be fair, I was pretty aroused to begin with because of circumstances that have nothing to do with my therapist or massage at all so maybe I was projecting that vibe and he picked up on it? At any rate.... He never even put a finger inside me, although he did very pointedly stroke my pussy. He worked around my labia long and well, so much so that I started softly groaning and spreading my legs and arching my back and well, after about an hour of him edging me, I finally came. It was very hot, I am not going to lie. He cupped my labia as I was coming and that made it even better, o-my.

I really wanted him so stroke my clit and lick my pussy too. No luck, though. Maybe next time, who knows....

Once that happened, the session went on as if nothing had happened.

I still can't quite believe it, to be honest.

F/47


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206,392 I guess by fighting with you and arguing I thought it would show you how tough you have helped make me. I thought I was sticking up for myself. I'm sorry I got blinded by all the little things you don't do that I forgot about all the big things you do. I'm sorry I can't be who you need me to be right now. I have felt so un noticed for so long that I guess even negative attention from you is something I craved. I just want you. I want to be happy with you . Do you?


likes: 1
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206,391 I've been awake for 36 hrs, so I'm ready to fall over. Not drinking or anything, just couldn't sleep last night. I have my old filing cabinets, small plastic portable cabinets. I don't ever write you anymore. There's no point really. You could be anywhere. Who knows. The last I heard was some unfortunate gossip about an abrupt ending with your boyfriend over money. Whatever. I don't feel good or bad about it. Just wondering where you went. Back to the cabinets.
Cleaning them finally, throwing away most of everything, I ran across two journals. In them were little notes to me. They were incredibly sweet. I don't understand why you kept this hidden. Why would you not open up to me? I couldn't even read them all because I kept thinking "what a waste?" I don't understand. You could have just opened up to me. You can be incredibly loving and sweet. So smart and funny. I don't know what happened to us. I'm sorry.
Just so you know it's me. I was at a church today and there was a marker about 30' in the air that showed the water level in 37. Wow, I can't even imagine it.
Anyway, not trying to stir the pot. Just sharing some thoughts. My partner is totally chill and wouldn't feel jealous or threatened by this outreach, especially since I don't even know where you are. Hope you are well. I hope you didn't lose that side of you. Thank you for so many good memories. Just feeling like I saw a ghost and I don't know what to say. Take care.


likes: 1

206,390 I'm not sorry I fucked your wife


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206,389 I live in Manhattan, NYC and some violent, nutcase, psycho just brutally murdered his wife & daughter and then hanged himself (evil monster). I work with a woman who was friends with this family (good friends with the wife actually) and she is shocked, horrified, devastated and cannot believe he would do something like this. The secret part I guess is how many normal people like us know people we think/thought were normal and then go on to commit a heinous act like this. Who slits their child’s throat, decapitates their wife & puts her head in her lap!!!! Makes me wonder how many other nut jobs hide under cover of normalcy. Absolutely heartbreaking, chilling and just unbelievable. I heard first hand of the horror because we have NYPD, FDNY and EMT friends in NYC- I could not do their jobs for all the money in the world. Try living with shit like this. People are crazy.


likes: 3
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206,388 I'm not shaving for Movember. I'm going for that 70's pornstache look.


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206,387 I'm not sure what a snowflake is. I know it's an insult. But is it something a Democrat says to imply someone is a Republican? Or is it the other way around, where a Republican says it to imply someone is a Democrat. I think I've heard it used both ways.

Next question, if both sides are calling each other snowflakes, meaning everyone is a snowflake, then doesn't the word lose all power as an insult?




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206,386 Price of 4'x8' particle board before the hurricane, $7 per sheet.

Price a week later after the hurricane, $20 per sheet.

People suck.


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206,385 My friend tells me he was recovering from surgery and couldn't move much. His wife took off her clothes and climbed into his hospital bed. She sat at the end, opened her legs and masturbated for him.

The perfect wife.


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206,384 Slapp like now slappers.


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206,383 There's a woman I know. She went to a well-attended meeting. She asked a question. It's intimidating to ask a question in front of a room full of people. You have to be brave. But she did it.

After the meeting, one of the organizers came up to her and said she spoke well. He was paying her a compliment.

What does she do? She gets on social media and says the meeting was filled with white people and the organizer speaking to her was condescending. She implied what he was really saying was "You spoke well ... for a person with brown skin."

See the problem? There was nothing racist about the compliment. I know the man who complimented her. He is kind and gracious. I've hear him compliment other speakers. He's trying to be encouraging. But she spins it as some racist slight against her. She's causing a problem where the was absolutely no problem.

Wrong, all wrong. IMO.


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206,382 I have not had a meaningful relationship in 10 years. I've had a few short-term couplings but nothing worthy of the term relationship.
I am staring 50 in the face, I have so few friends I can count them on the fingers of one hand and I am so used to being alone and self-sufficient I am not sure I would even know how to be *with* someone anymore.
Pretty bleak if you ask me.  



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206,381 I do not understand even a little bit why anyone gives a shit about supposed differences between sex and gender, or about what gender pronoun is used to refer to someone.  

The planet is slowly dying...a man with his finger on the button of the most powerful nuclear arsenal in the history of the world is a complete moron...the lowest economic rung of society is getting decimated by capitalism run amok...and we should waste our brain cells trying to figure out "cis" or "zie" or "genderqueer"?

Give me a fucking break.  


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206,380 My beat headphones are stolen. I didn't steal them. But a friend did and then gave them to me. As a matter of principle I could not use them, but what good would that do?


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206,379 Suck my dick and swallow and I won't dump you.


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206,378 I love him so much. I'm in this for life.

But damn, sometimes he can be so disappointing.

Sometimes I think about what life would be like if I had taken the easy way. Married a man who makes six figures (or at least makes more than I do), had less baggage, and didn't rely on me to make this life we both want happen.

Sometimes the idea of being taken care of, even in the smallest ways, sounds better than being the care taker.

I just want him to stop disappointing me.


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206,377 Most parents should be embarrassed at how they raised their children.


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206,376 Then there was the time my wife was making chocolate chip cookies and she threw the chocolate chips into the mixer - but without first taking them out of the bag....


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206,375 I bought a new car. I mean like the car is a week old. I turned on the back windshield wiper for the first time and boom, it broke off. Just like that, it snapped and shattered into a bunch of pieces. I called the dealership. I was very polite. They said, "Well what did you do to it?"

"What did I do to it? I turned it on."

They seemed very annoyed. I guess it's my fault for turning on the windshield wiper in the rain. I should have known better.

The junk companies sell...


likes: 0
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206,374 People create their own rain.




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206,373 Let’s hook up tonight.......


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206,372 Some days I think there is a God and some days I think that there is no God.... To be honest, nothing extraordinary ever happened in my life. And whatever good happened, I worked my ass off for it. No divine intervention here...As a matter of fact, the older I get, the more I think that this whole religion thing is bullshit... At work, we're collaborating on a project with some churches and I had to visit a few. For a secon, I was considering to start going, but on second thought, I don't think so! The Millennials got it it right. They don't do organized religion, probably figure out already that it's bullshit...


likes: 3
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206,370 If DC shows up in my neighborhood this weekend and runs into me, I will be inviting him back to my place in a heartbeat.  So DC, come on. Bring your game to me this weekend and see what happens.


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206,369 I'm tired of dealing with my boyfriend. I will stay with him through Christmas and see what he gets me.


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206,368 I am a pretty calm person on my own. If someone is angry around me and gets on my case, or if someone is anxious around me, it makes me anxious. I have a relative who over the last couple of years has turned real nosy and also nervous at anything, it's hard to deal with. There was a period of time where she would come and talk to me and be all nervous, and I noticed she would walk away feeling peaceful and good and I would end up nervous! LIke it was a transfer of negative energy. When I put it together I started to avoid her when she wanted to "vent." Sometimes venting can be unhealthy for the other person, especially when the one venting is reliving their story they are telling at that moment.  I also think sometimes certain family members can hold you back in certain ways, like they don't want you to get on with your life because then you're not there when they want you to be.


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206,367 I was thinking about buying one of those DNA ancestry kits. But I want to fill out the paper work with the wrong name. Specifically I want to use the name of a person I hate. That way if my DNA matches a crime scene, my enemy will get arrested.


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206,366 When you say a road is a 4 lane highway, does that mean 4 lanes in each direction? Or two lanes in each direction and 4 lanes total? I feel embarrassed asking anyone I know.


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206,365 I will read the last page of a book before I start the book. It's like an OCD thing with me. I tell myself not to do it, then I do it.


likes: 1
comments: 0

206,364 Whenever I drive I get a little concerned I will die in a car crash. I still go, but I do think about the possibility more than I should.


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comments: 0

206,362 I hate texting the wrong person. Grrrrr. I embarrass myself by saying gushy things and then my son's teacher gets the text. Oy. I should give up texting.


likes: 1
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206,361 You have a new baby. Congratulations. But you know what the rest of us are talking about? We're surprised you got pregnant from your husband. He is so out of shape we can't believe he could get it up.


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206,360 34f. I’ve had a lot of men inside of me, and I mean a LOT. Size doesn’t matter? Size  does matter. Nothing I can think of that feels more heavenly than getting the wind knocked outta me when a man with a big thick cock is forcing his tool up into me. I personally love the ones that can be felt getting even bigger and harder once buried inside me. I love that shit.


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206,359 Every few hours at work I take a porn break.


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206,358 I ran out of paint with just a few feet more to go in my room. Fuck me. Now I have to buy a whole new can! The world is plotting against me.


likes: 1
comments: 2

206,357 All the losers in the election still have their signs up. You'd think they'd be a little embarrassed and pull the signs down immediately. No. Instead they leave the signs up because they are pouting and they want to keep pushing their signs in everyone's face. There's a good reason these people weren't elected.


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206,356 Trichotillomania flairs up when I’m stressed out. Why does it have to feel so good? I wish I never wanted to pull out hair again but it’s a good stress release.


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206,355 Some people choose to make life difficult for themselves. Why? Stop trying to torment others.


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206,354 I got flashed today. A perfect set of boobs, and she was laughing as she did it. She actually thanked me a few minutes later. An hour later, she went to take a shower, and she called me to the door. She asked me if I was mad about the flash, and I said that I loved it. She smiled and opened the door so I could see her naked. WOW. Best birthday present of my life. Thank you, Mariah
My wife would not approve, but she has done it; and I was the ass for catching her. Marriage sucks.


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206,352 There's a young woman at work. Late 20s. She wears low cut tops. This would normally be fine. But she's obviously had open heart surgery and there is a large scar running down the middle of her chest. You'd think she'd wear something which covers up the scar. But no, she intentionally wears revealing tops to show the scar. I don't know if it's for the attention. Or if it's an art performance piece - hey world look at my beautiful tits surrounding this ugly scar. I don't know but its unnerving. I find myself trying not to look in her direction because I think she's testing to see if I look at the scar and / or her tits.


likes: 0
comments: 6

206,351 I AM a Millenial, and I will tell you, we suck! I wish I was born in the 70s or 80s. I get along MUCH better with people from those Era's.


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206,350 There's a group of women on FB. Their posts are public which means I can see their banter. They are funny. I want to like some things they say. But I don't because they will think I'm stalking them. This darn world.


likes: 2
comments: 0

206,349 I mowed my neighbors lawn twice over the summer while they were away. They didn't even notice.


likes: 2
comments: 0

206,348 I'm sad. Turns out the man I've been seeing who I really like and care for is into "open relationships" and already has one partner. I don't think this is the life for me....


likes: 1
comments: 0

206,347 He lost 60 pounds in three months. I'm jealous. Yes, okay, he has throat cancer, but still....


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206,346 My wife grunts and groans when going to the bathroom. The door is closed but she forgets the room isn't sound proof.


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206,345 I eat mostly plant based but I can’t resist going to Chick-fil-A when I’m alone. They are my downfall.  


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206,344 The clock on town hall is broken. It has been for years. It's depressing to see the hands stuck every day. I think sub consciously it drags us down. We are constantly reminded we come from a run down town. The simple act of fixing the clock would lift everyone's outlook. I've decided to make this my mission.


likes: 2
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206,343 I have completely given up.


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206,342 I thought I was at a point where I could predominantly put the ex stuff behind me. Now, due to our circumstances, it's something that must be dealt with, but it's making me feel apprehensive. I guess in a way it's necessary, but all the same, I feel like I'm having to justify myself over and over.


likes: 0
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206,341 I didn’t vote today. People can be pissed about it. I don’t really care.


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comments: 0

206,340 I'm cooking a vacuum sealed steak in a water bath at 130 degrees for the next 48 hours. I'm told this will be the most amazing piece of meat I've ever eaten. Can't wait.


likes: 0
comments: 4

206,339 About once a month I log onto an old email account and peruse your naked pictures. Such memories.


likes: 1
comments: 1

206,338 I can control my diabetes better, but I choose not to. Pass the ice cream!


likes: 1
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206,337 I am so incredibly glad to have found you <3
Never, ever doubt that.
I am looking forward to a life together with you,
even if sometimes I seem scared.


likes: 1
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206,336 I have all the family meals planned out a week in advance. I like to be organized.


likes: 1
comments: 0

206,335 Hahaha, I pissed off a Millenial ! They can't take any kind of joke. So sad.  


likes: 1
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206,334 I voted with my wife today. While filling out the ballot my wife's pen died. She leaned over to my little voting table and asked if she could borrow my pen when I was done. An election official came rushing over and demanded we stop talking to each other. She said it was illegal. WTF? It's illegal for my wife to ask to borrow my pen? I think voting officials have let their positions go to their heads. I was polite to the voting official, but I wish I had told her to go fuck herself. .


likes: 0
comments: 4

206,333 Don't stay in your head too long... Its not worth missing what is in front of you.  


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206,332 Ten days ago a dog disappeared. The owner put up signs everywhere. Today I'm walking in my neighborhood and there's an old lady walking a dog that looks just like the missing dog. I didn't piece it together until I got home. Now I'm sitting in my car by the side of the road where I saw the old lady. She'll have to walk him again. I'm armed with my cell phone. As soon as she appears I'm going to snap photos and call the police.


likes: 3
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206,331 My husband is using again. A few months ago, I told my husband he had stop using. I couldn’t take the paranoid rantings anymore and him constantly forgetting everything and needing numerous reminders. He also does this thing when he’s high where he’ll be annoyed about something, then take a comment from someone else and go psycho, but use it to gaslight them. “I’M NOT ANGRY, YOU’RE ANGRY. YOU’RE THE ONE WITH A PROBLEM!”

So he stopped smoking. Suddenly we’re getting along better. He’s acting more even keeled and rational. He was being a normal fucking human again. He said we were getting along better because I “must have learned to lighten up”

This morning, he woke up before everyone, which is usual. I woke up an hour or two later and started getting the kids ready. He asked if I was still going to take the kids to school and then vote before coming home. I said I was still taking them but “probably wouldn’t vote,” I’d just come home after drop off and start working. He immediately launched into a tirade about how I lied to him and deviated from a set plan (funny, because this man deviates from plans I set ALL THE TIME and we’re just supposed to roll with it). Then he started losing it because me not voting means I’m contributing to an election rigging scheme and I’m promoting open corruption.

I calmly asked what was upsetting him. “I’m not upset! You’re the only one stressed out and angry!” I calmly replied that I was not upset about anything, though it was bothering me  that he was choosing to react this way this way towards me over a comment, which is why I was trying to understand if something was going on. I didn’t ask if he was high, even though it was obvious he was.

“You’re psycho! You lied to me!”

Fuck dude. I’m outta here. Everyday was like this for 2 1/2 years and every time I would say I wanted to divorce, he’d talk me out it. Then things were better and I thought maybe there was a chance for us. Nope. Not going down this road again. Later, bro.




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206,330 When I was a young boy in the mid 70's I lived in Brooklyn about a block away from a public park.  I used to go there every day and play.  One day this black kid named Tyrone who I was somewhat friendly with comes up to me and announces "Today is my fightin' day" and tries to start a fist fight with me.  I didnt do a thing to cause it.  He just came up to me like it was his job to hit someone and I was that random person.  Well Tyrone was a lot bigger than me and I was somewhat of a weak kid - a real easy target.  I'd never been in a fight in my life.  So I ran away instead of getting my ass kicked.  

After that I would not go into the park with out a parent or someone to back me up, and I always looked to see if Tyrone was there before . If he was he'd give me a hard look and I would refuse to go to the park.  My parents didn't notice because back then you just let the kids out to play.  For years I did not go into that park. I felt ashamed of my earlier weakness.

Fast forward to today.  I am a proud progressive liberal who believes in equality and understands the inherent racial prejudices in most of society.  I harbor no ill will toward black people or any other minority or disafected group.

But I hope Tyrone died in jail.  That little fucking piece of shit.




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206,328 There are approximately 3.85 billion women in the world.  None of them are fucking me, including my wife.


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206,327 Sneezing is stupid. It serves no purpose and accomplishes nothing.


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206,326 I know a lawyer who drives an Uber to make ends meet.


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206,325 I was married to my husband for 10 years before I knew he could play the flute. It only came out because our daughter signed up to play the flute in 4th grade. She was practicing a scale when my husband took the flute from her and played some classical concerto piece. I was blown away. He said he never told me because what guy ever brags about being a flute player. lol.


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206,324 You are buying a house where the electrical breaker box is under the kitchen sink. Think about that. Something about water and electricity not being friends. Do not buy this house.


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206,323 I'm not proud of this. My girlfriend had a friend from college visit. We all went out to dinner. I spent the night at my girlfriend's apartment. Next morning my girlfriend went to work. Her college friend went into the bathroom to take a shower. I knew the lock didn't work so I very gently opened the bathroom door a crack. I saw the woman naked in the shower. I've never told anyone. It was a totally pervy thing to do. I feel better now that I've posted it here.


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206,322 Affinity aggression and passive aggression induces pedophilia in the individual initiating, affinity being like behavior in the human reptilian nervous system (the medulla oblongata, the unconscious, as opposed to the view of the behavior, the subconscious, the avian brain, the cerebellum).  

Pedophiles holding captives pretend to be helpful while doing the opposite to their captives.  Police, naturally, never toy with anyone in their cell, especially after this capture, lest they become pedophiles.

Unless it's the movie The Cell.  That's why the serial killer is the true winner in that movie.


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206,321 I'm up for election tomorrow..... nervous....


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206,320 If I want to score some coke,  I would ask Hunter Biden Joe to do that.   If I wanted to bang my dead brothers wife,  I would ask Hunter Biden for tips.   If I needed someone to sit on the board and pay him millions if dollars Hunter Biden would not be in the top ten million candidates.   Yeast he hit that money for his influence.   Same with the 1.5 billion he got from the Chinese.   Old Joe brags about his quid pro quo, but Trump is the problem?  The media are lying to you.


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206,319 After my wife stopped nursing, she allowed me to suck her breasts dry for the next few days.


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206,318 Confession time. I once stole some campaign signs. Not because I was making a political statement, but I needed the corrugated plastic for a project I was constructing in school.


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206,317 I backed into a car in a parking lot and then drove away. Sorry, I can't afford to pay for any damages at the moment. I hope your insurance company will cover it.


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206,316 My wife has breast-feed all five of our children. It's both erotic and not, because it's natural, organic, but at the same time, it's naked boobies, and the best food for a baby. Sorry, but I think it's sexy. Well, as long as the kid isn't in the picture. Bear with me, it's complicated. Kids do NOT equate with sexy. No!

My secret:
This weekend, a few friends came over to watch the football game. One was a new mom. As she was nursing her baby, she looked around during a commercial break and gave me a sly grin. She's flirted with me a lot for a few years. When the room was empty except for me, the mommy, and her full baby, she put on a show of drying off her rigid nipples.

I enjoyed the sight of bare boobs. She didn't need to do as much as she did, and I knew within seconds she was doing it to be a tease. I loved it. An accidental peek is a whoops, this wasn't.

Her shirt and bra were up, both of her boobs were fully out on display, and she wasn't shy about showing off to an audience of one. I couldn't look away, and her cheeks were bright red. I didn't hear what she mumbled, but I think it was an invitation for me to have an after-dinner sip.

When she covered up, I walked away.

“Need a chaser after your shot of vodka?”

I stumbled when I heard her question, and I felt my cheeks burning when I nodded my head.

Let's just say that this weekend was great. I don't even remember who won the game. I don't care either way.


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206,314 I stole my dinner last night. I went to the grocery store, got bread, a slice of chicken to make tonight, and a TV dinner for last night. The TV dinner was the most expensive thing in my basket, so I forgot to scan it. That is how I eat on less than $10 for multiple days. This world has failed us, and before you come at me,, I say that as a late-twenties college student who works 40+ hours every week.


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206,313 I have serious concerns for my step-son's job, as he continues to help his dad hide monies in this divorce. His prior assets are for him and his 4 kids (non-marital) and I have made that very clear from day one, and OUR monthly income is marital, and is only to be spent on US and our needs to ensure our quality of retirement life. NOT FOR HIS KIDS! It's all going to catch up with all of them, as the court decides to subpoena financial records.


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206,311 I have a friend who wants to be with me all the time. We had a talk. I told her I needed to do other things in my life. I can't be with her all the time. Now she wants to get together so we can talk about this more. Sigh.


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206,310 I came downstairs this morning for breakfast and was greeted with,

"This bread is good. I don't know where Juniper is. I can't drive my car. Yesterday. There's a mid-term. It's in my wallet. He's a different kind of purple."

She sounds insane right?

No. She's just lazy. She can't be bothered to fill in those annoying in between words to make it all legible.

"The bread is good." I went to a farmer's market yesterday. I bought a loaf of sourdough bread. She had it for breakfast and approves.

"I don't know where Juniper is." Last week a friend called from Juniper, California. He bakes tasty bread. That's the connection to the prior sentence. He asked if we'd like to come for a visit over the summer and go hiking. She doesn't know where in California Juniper is located. (It's in the northern part of the state.)

"I can't drive my car." Her leg hurts. She jammed it while hiking yesterday, that's the connection to the prior sentence. She needs to return a DVD to the library today. She is letting me know I have to drive her.

"Yesterday" We watched the movie "Yesterday" last week. It's quite engaging. This is the DVD that needs to be returned to the library.

"There's a mid-term." Our daughter has an exam tomorrow at her college. She is currently in the library study. That's the connection to the prior sentence.

"It's in my wallet." My wife borrowed my library card. That's the connection to the prior sentence. She wants me to take my library card back.

"He's a different kind of purple." Honestly, I'm still working on this one... I have no idea. Anyone?

Dealing with her is like constantly solving brain teasers. I kind of hate it. I wish conversation wouldn't be so much work. But at the same time it keeps my brain active.


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206,309 When I fart in bed, I first pull back the covers, as if it makes me more civilized.


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206,308 I miss ya mike call me or text me.I dont want our friendship wasted.your just living but what about me.you said we would remain the same but you acting real funny.



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206,307 I no longer live in  a house with a driveway. When I did live in the house winter was such a hassle. I'd have to get out there and shovel the snow. But no more house means no more snow shoveling. The Super takes care of it. You want to know how rotten I am? I'm routing for tons of snow this winter. I want blizzard after blizzard so everyone has to shovel their driveway while I sit inside sipping hot chocolate. Ha ha ha.


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206,306 Apple sucks. Sorry, but it does. I received messages that I needed to update my ios to 10.3.4 or the internet will stop working on the phone as of midnight tonight.  Mine ios version is 10.3.3. I click on the appropriate button to update, and it won't let me. It says I'm up to date. Even though the Apple emails say I am NOT up to date.

So at midnight tonight I think my internet will stop and there seems to be nothing I can do about it.


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206,305 Her anorexia is back worse than ever. I'm going to report her. As her parent it sounds mean. But it might be the only way to save her life.


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206,304 Why does everything have to fight me? Everything. It's going to go my way eventually because I'm always right. Just do what I say when I say because I say it.


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206,303 I’ve been seeing a man.  4 weeks in and I cannot get him to have sex with me. Said at first he respects me too much, so waited. Then he said he has health issues. So scored him some viagra. The pills are untouched 2 weeks later. Then I learn that he does fucking heroin. Now it makes perfect sense, after wondering what the hell was wrong with me, why he won’t touch me.  Ladies, unless you too are a heroin addict, I suggest the EASY lesson, which is avoid men who do heroin.  The mentality spills over into every aspect of life and all you will see are excuses, worthless promises, and being drained emotionally as well as somehow not seeing your money stretch as far as it normally does. He does heroin. I do not. I think it’s time I tell this motherfucker to get away from me before I get taken for a very unrewarding ride over a drug I don’t even do. What a loser!


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206,302 There's a woman who used to bully me on the bus 35 years ago when we were in 8th grade.  She and a 6th grader would make fun of my name.  They'd mock me mercilessly.  It was only for a few months but it seemed like it was forever.  Eventually I had enough and pushed the 6th grader into a wall at school.  The bullying stopped after that.

But God, that mocking name burned into my head.  

Fast forward 35 years later, and we're on good terms like normal adults.  I found out later that she had a terrible home life and a mother who would always tell her she was a mistake and should never have been born.  She was taking it out on me, for some reason, like a 13-year old would.  We don't hang out, but we're always interacting online.  We have a lot in common, actually.

Sometimes, she'll refer to me by that mocking name.  I hate it.  It burns into me and brings back the shame of being bullied.  But she does it so innocently, like it was always just a dumb joke between us meant to elicit laughs.  I think she's just ashamed at how mean she was to me and maybe over the years has decided in her head to believe it was only a playful joke.  On the rare occasions when I do see her, I'll smile and laugh like it was only a joke.

I know it hurts me when she says it, but good lord I'm afraid of the damage it will do to her if bring up what that mocking name really meant between us, long ago.  Kind of an odd situation to be in, trying to protect my old bully from being emotionally hurt.


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206,301 I was told to get a tattoo on my ankle because it's the only place where the skin doesn't stretch and grow. Clever.


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206,300 I'm thinking about voting by absentee ballot because I fear there will be violence at the polls.


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206,299 Whenever I drive a female anywhere - as happens sometimes because a student needs a ride home - I always make sure there is another male in the car. I do not trust women and the lies they might tell.


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206,298 These days when I have those flavored coffee drinks at the place with a store on every corner all I taste is chemicals.  I'm thinking the ingredients have changed in the last couple years.  Yuck, I’ve lost my taste for it all now.


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206,297 For being one the so-called hottest girls in our high school class, getting older sure doesn’t agree with you. Yikes.


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206,296 I do not believe in astrology yet I am pretty much all the qualities of my sign and I have hands down come to the conclusion that no other sign fucks as well as Scorpios. Every single Scorpio I’ve been with has been a maniac in bed. They are known for sexual energy. Maybe I am starting to believe.


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206,295 My love from 1000 miles away is here for a few days. Currently snoozing next to me. He has to be the most wonderful lover I have had or ever will. Not conventionally hot or whatever but my god. Fuck. The physical attraction we share is enormous. The chemistry, the passion, the scents and the sounds we make... it's not something all people will get to experience for themselves in life. I may or may not be destined to be with this man but I am still and forevermore very grateful that he was put in my path 5 years ago and I'm warmed all over knowing that time and distance can't cool off this magnetism we share. Life sucks so much at times and things like seeing him when I can, can make it all worth the continued effort to stick around and keep trying to see more days. I'm so incredibly filled with wonder just hearing him breathe in his sleep and smelling him on my linens. I could seriously just about cry right now out of sheer gratitude towards the universe. But I think I'll instead just see if I can get him interested in my increasingly aroused pussy...see y'all next time!<3


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206,294 My love from 1000 miles away is here for a few days. Currently snoozing next to me. He has to be the most wonderful lover I have had or ever will. Not conventionally hot or whatever but my god. Fuck. The physical attraction we share is enormous. The chemistry, the passion, the scents and the sounds we make... it's not something all people will get to experience for themselves in life. I may or may not be destined to be with this man but I am still and forevermore very grateful that he was put in my path 5 years ago and I'm warmed all over knowing that time and distance can't cool off this magnetism we share. Life sucks so much at times and things like seeing him when I can, can make it all worth the continued effort to stick around and keep trying to see more days. I'm so incredibly filled with wonder just hearing him breathe in his sleep and smelling him on my linens. I could seriously just about cry right now out of sheer gratitude towards the universe. But I think I'll instead just see if I can get him interested in my increasingly aroused pussy...see y'all next time!<3


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206,293 Driving through the desert in SW USA?  Truly fucking horrible things happen in these remote areas and the news stations barely pick up or mention the incidents if at all.  It happens a good bit more than we hear about. Google Terlingua, TX. Do not forget what you read as you travel through these kinds of places. Do not let your vehicle go because you do not at all want to break down out there. Try not to need gas. Definitely try not to need any help from the population of the area. It's pretty chilling to think about this stuff but it probably doesn't hurt to know it. If you find yourself stranded, try to contact AAA or whoever ASAP. Then you HIDE. No local wreckers, no good samaritans taking you in till help arrives. No none of that. There is a decent chance that you'll end up with some variety of Captain Spaulding and the Firefly family and you'll be pretty much unimaginably screwed from there. The west is still very wild. Don't get caught out and keep your gun close. Have a great trip!


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206,292 A strange story.

A few years ago I was driving along an empty stretch of road about an hour from my house. There were no other cars around. There were no buildings or anything. Just the road and woods on either side.

As I was zooming along, I was surprised to see a man standing on the shoulder of the road up ahead of me. He was wearing all black. His hair was gray. He had sort of a distinguished fatherly look. He was holding something in his hand. I couldn't tell what it was.

I continued on my way.

About an hour later I was turning onto the block where I lived. Unbelievably, right there on my corner, I saw the man again. Same black clothing, same gray hair. How could he be on my corner? That was not possible! But it was him.

He was again staring at an object in his hand. I was traveling much slower this time and could see it was a beaded rosary. His lips were moving, as if he was praying. He looked up and his eyes locked with mine. He nodded. It wasn't a freaky scary gesture. It was a calm respectful nod.

Weird.

I arrived home. I went inside. My wife greeted me with a warm hug, which was unusual. Then she told me my mother called to say my father had died.... about an hour ago.

To this day I'm not sure what to make of the man, and the rosary, and the nod.


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206,291 I'm excellent at reading people. I know when they are lying. It's my super power, my only super power.


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206,290 I was in a line for a haunted house last night with a bunch of college-age kids.  The line stretched down a concrete hallway in a converted warehouse that is now a film set and event space.

Not long after we got into line, some drunk young girl behind me started yelling WHO FARTED?!  OMG JERRY DID YOU FART?  JERRY FARTED!  I SAW THAT HUGE ASS PIZZA YOU HAD FOR DINNER!  THIS IS SOOOO GROSS, I FEEL LIKE I'M WALKING THROUGH JERRY'S GIANT FART!

Poor Jerry kept insisting it wasn't him, but NOOOO, I SAW ALL THAT PIZZA YOU HAD FOR DINNER! YUCK! JERRY'S GROOOOOOSSSS!

Actually, it was the well-dressed, classy woman in the evening dress and long blond mermaid wig just ahead of the lot of them.  I hadn't eaten anything especially heavy that day, but chemotherapy gives you the WORST flatulence you can possibly imagine.  I only have 2 more sessions to go, thank heavens, because the nausea, constipation, stomach upsets, and chemical-reek farts are pretty awful.

Sorry that bitchy girl was rude to you, Jerry, but at least you don't have cancer.


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206,289 I love seeing young, entitled kids encounter real problems.


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206,288 I'm good to you. Stop taking your stupid fucking jabs at me, or I'll be gone.


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206,287 My friend tells me stories about him and his wife doing wild crazy things. They went to Vegas and hired two hookers to give same-room his and hers naked massages with happy endings. They had a threesome with one of her friends. They went skinny dipping with neighbors in a backyard pool.

I think about me and my wife. She once wore a Halloween costume which showed a tiny bit of cleavage. That's as wild as we've ever gotten.

But then again, my friend and his wife got divorced. Me and my wife are still happily married.

There are trade-offs in the decisions we make.


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206,286 Big storm rolled through the other day. Trees down. Power out in many places. When this happened in the past, I'd go out there with my chainsaw and removed the fallen trees from my street. This cleared the way for the utility company to get to work repairing the downed power lines. My street was always one of the first to get power back.

Separately, I had a jerk of a neighbor. She was so difficult. Last year when a house I liked in another part of town went up for sale, I moved.

I'm sitting here watching the reports of streets still without power after this latest storm. My old street is one of them. The jerky neighbor sits in the dark because I'm not longer there to remove the fallen trees.

I usually wish no ill will on anyone, but knowing she scared me away and now she has no power, well it brings a smile to my face.


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206,285 I dated a guy in college. His friends called him "The Log".

Yep.


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206,284 There's a diner in town where many men eat alone at the counter. They don't seem to know each other. They sit side by side, always looking forward, and never say a word to each other. It makes me sad.


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206,282 If I was in a situation where I had to kill someone to save myself, I would do it without thinking twice.


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206,281 I heard the news.  I hope you're ok.  I'm here for you.  Always, Y.


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206,280 I love how people need to insult or attempt to insult others to make themselves feel better. He is a very short guy who has been trying to lose 15-20 lbs for the last 5 years and getting to the gym. We end up going out to eat a few times a month. His idea of eating healthy is ordering smaller appetizers for his meal with no regard for actual calorie content and snacking on energy bars (which as they say is not much better than a candy bar) all day. We go to a buffet and I go to town, 4 full plates, the difference is, one plate is all fruit, second and third plate is all salad with no dressing other than lemon, last plate is the leanest proteins I can find, no sauces/creamy stuff. His plate and half probably consisted of more cheese and cream sauces than real food. Im willing to bet he ate at least double in calories if not more. I’m 6 ft and 175 on a bad day. He loves to comment how much food I eat compared to him as if I’m some monster. I eat real meals with out snacking most days. I don’t really take offense, but find it amusing for two reasons. One, how he needs to say that to make himself feel better and secondly how he and many others convince themselves they don’t eat a lot confusing the volume of food vs calories.


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206,279 I often walk around the house naked during the day because no one is home. I've almost been surprised a few times with deliveries, but I was quickly able to grab clothing and cover up. Being honest with myself, I like playing this game.


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206,278 These days, no matter what you say, someone is always willing to twist your words into something bad.


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