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Oh wow.  Tonight was just what I needed.

Just one foot in front of the other.  Day by day, just for today... it's all gravy, so long as I do what was shown.

I make it muddled.  I make it hard.  I make it personality war.  I make it crazy.  

Tonight, my heart thawed out, again, for the umpteenth time.  I heard what I needed to hear, I hugged who I needed to hug... it was a gift.  Ironically, the gift that keeps on giving, just so long as I'm willing to do what was shown for me to do.  A day at a time.

... and the wheel goes round.  Just stay on it, and enjoy the ride.  

Thanks God; for you, for them, for this zip code, for the roof, for the grub, for the job, for the car, for the clothing, for the endless opportunity so long as I stay tight with you.  Thank you.

Fear out, You in.  Fear out, You in.  Fear out, You in.

who am i ?  do u know me? i hope sooo cuz i dont even know who i am .. why do u follow me .. i dont want to lead ... u scare me because u are waaaay toooo intelligent than i am and it scares me and intimidates me get away from me i feel claustrophobic... are u stalking me? i have to ask cuz i feel stupid knowing... i want u but not like this ... ok so help me out cuz am just to dumb to do it alone.... p f/44

i love you. but im waiting for you to show me...

i'm falling for you.  i know you're the one for me...we're perfect =)

where are you omg it's driving me crazy how you can just disappear

i'm going to be 30 in a month and i'm scared i'm going to be alone forever.

I can't get it up anymore. Not even with viagra. Shotgun sandwich coming up. M 49

I will change your facebook password before i get home... i hope you beat me to the punch.

Here's the gag: Nothing we do matters. Cure cancer, bring world peace, whatever. Ya know why? 'Cause we're all gonna die! Then nothing you did matters because YOU'RE NOT THERE!!!!
Vincent Van Gogh never sold a painting in his life but in the '80's one of his "Sunflower" paintings sold for 24 million dollars! Didn't do Vinnie any good, did it? He was DEAD!!!! There is no heaven or hell. There's just death and it makes everything we do pointless.

sometimes when i say i love u, i don't mean it.  =\

fine bitch. be that way

My husband is 100% anti-census.  He believes deep down in his core of a being this is somehow big brother govt wanting to track us down and know our every movement to keep us their sheep.  He proudly exclaims that he has never filled out one of those 'things' his entire life and never will.  I explained til I'm blue in the face the govt needs to count the people to distribute money to the states.  Money our states need to finance all the things they do that you take for granted.  Fucking simpleton doesnt get it

In public, I make fun of people who listen to Coldplay. I call it smarmy, unimaginative pseudo-rock for soccer moms and starry-eyed teen girls.

Then I go home, play "Parachutes", and have a good cry.

M, 32

I Like You So Much, Cant You Just See This?, Boys Suck ! :/

Something tells me that ten years from now, you'll be sitting in a bar, hairline even more receded than it is now, holding a copy of the book I'm currently writing, proclaiming loudly, "I fucked this writer chick once! The guy in this is based on me!"  

And that's gonna be just about your only claim to fame.

You're being really mean right now. wtf happened to us. We used to be best friends.i feel like im next to a stranger; judging me and rolling their eyes at me now.

You said that we're family. You said we'd be buds forever. im startin to think tat you changed your mind..

*heavenly voices singing*
You just talked to me.
I'm sweating like a cow.

You break the law and then get mad at me for pointing it out to you. Love how that works. Enjoy prison. I'm hoping the big black guy with the giant cock serving a life sentence can put some sense into you... or put something into you...

Oh, God, I want her to love me again. She's supposed to be with me, not him, not carrying his child. It's wrong! My soul aches for her every single day.
(I'm a woman. Long distance sucks).

B,
You are the most attractive neighbor I've ever had the opportunity to sleep with.
I like you. You're Kinda hot. Lets be friends.
See you soon!

Hey there love,
You are bisexual, it's cool it's why I like you. I love how you pretend you aren't though. It's like our little secret that everyone else jokes about...I however know the truth. I must say however I am a little offended that during your "lesbian" days you were with her... I mean, why? I love you more than anyone now...and her? It should be us. It could be us. Stop being afraid baby, I got you. I think I shall not talk to you for awhile, see how long it takes for you to miss me this time. It'll be worth it all.
Loves

How did life get to be this gotdamn boring? I need some excitement. I need some razzmatazz. I need to see new places. I need some rough doggy style.

I'm more wierd than anyone would think. I like the sounds of an accordian, space traveling movies, the taste of lemons, and the smell of sheep wool. 32/F

I miss the summers of my childhood. I miss walking barefoot to the mini-mart and not worrying whether my heels would get rough. I miss roaming through the woods and fields near my home, following the creek through all its various scenery just for the pleasure of it. I miss sitting out on the porch in the evenings with the neighbors, talking and laughing and not caring what time it was or thinking about getting up for work in the morning. I miss falling asleep with my transistor radio between the pillow and my ear, listening to either the latest music or a ball game.
Now I go to work, come home to a neighborhood of people we never even see, bitch about the heat, and spend the evening in front of the TV. I feel like only when I retire will I be able to really enjoy the seasons again. Of course, by then Social Security will be a thing of the past and I'll be walking to the mini-mart because I won't be able to afford to drive.
What happened? When did life get to be such a grind? There's got to be more than this. If only I knew how to recapture it.

I need to have faith they we'll work out. If it doesn't then we're not meant to go beyond casual dating and eventually part as friends. I wish the thought of you actually having a second date with someone you met didn't make me feel this insecure..I actually cried over it. One month to go and I'll walk away with you or without you.

Today I broke the heart of someone who broke mine two years ago.... It felt FABULOUS!!!!

You know Lauren, I could love a woman like you.  I could get angry with God for bringing another unavailable woman into my life.
But you are so wonderful.  I love talking to you.  You make me smile inside and out.  I won't be angry but very thankful that I am blessed enough to know you.  

God bless you and your fiance.

Fate, where the hell do you get off putting them both in perfect relationships and leaving me pining after someone who hardly knows my name?!

Even your stupidity has become predictable now. I'm over you a lot faster than I thought I'd be, and now it just annoys me to think of you still pining for me.

so guess what, I think I met someone a little less confusin and a little easier to please. He won't break my heart cuz I'll break his face. Nice delcys still here but no longer is she easily run over. I guess I'm just a little more aware of shit now. But yeah, todays your birthday. Happy birthday kasha :) I hope today is filled with nothing but happiness and love. Old geezer. Haha

I hate the fact that I hate welfare recipients.

We have to spend nearly $2000 each year to heat our home.  We have to pay for health insurance for our kids.  We pay to feed ourselves and our children.

So I'm sorry...the last thing I want to see is how much you're enjoying your new game system and stereo and...

Do they even realize that those luxury items came out of OUR tax money while we have to save up to make sure our bills are paid on time?  Do they even care?  It's fucking bullshit.

If the government doesn't make some serious reforms we're all going to quit our jobs and suck at the teat of government mis-spending.  Fuck it.

I'm terrified that after I graduate, I won't be able to find a job.

My boyfriend seems to really love me, and it terrifies me.

I'm terrified that my parents' relationship is now unfix-able, and I know they'd never seek counseling.

Life scares me right now.

Tonight's the night. I'm going full force towards a head on collision of superficiality. On the other side of that bridge where I am going to toss what little is left I won't have to worry about anything anymore.  I can be that little plastic doll that every one adores. I can scoop out the inside of my spirit and dump it out into some locked closet that I will walk away from and forget. That's who I become tonight. No one to stop me from stepping out on to that stage. The show must go on. All my dreams coming true, but they really don't mean shit. Everything I've wanted since I was young enough to want it, until one day I found there was something that meant more.

Last night and this morning my poop was green and void of the usual odor.

I think that's good.  I'm going to go with it.

life looks bleak.  im worried it's just because my brain has become so accustomed to being stoned.  not only am i worried, but im sure.  whoops.

i just found out you feel the same way i do about getting back together.
i'm terrified that if i try you will push me even further away and i will lose the little bit that i have. turns out you feel the same way. but i know the both of us. we are to scared to try and say something to the other. even though we live together i still feel alone without you. i love you. that never changed. though i may not like some of the things you do. i think i am just gonna chance it. when i see you tonight i am just gonna blurt it out and hope for the best. i would rather risk losing you trying to get you back then just sit there and watch us fade away into the memory of each other

heres to hoping you say yes

He was the closest thing I have had to a relationship. It's just a shame he's married.

i dispite my sons mother...but i love my son to death. i want out..

Ok, I know we have about 6 years between us, and I may seem young for you, maybe thats why you haven't done anything yet. But I am so god damned attracted to you. I don't know why. I've dated my fair share of guys so if I meet a good one I don't let myself get my hopes up too high, because chances are they'll come crashing down. But We just met. We haven't even dated yet. And I can't get you out of my head. I never let this happen, but it seems I have no control over it. Like when we were making out on the couch before our friend got home, there was no control over that, and I know you liked it as much as I did. Maybe its just a lust thing. I'm not even sure. I just want to be alone with you again to see what happens. I'm a good girl, not a saint, but a good girl. But I want to be so bad with you. It goes against all of my morals and rules and walls that i've put up, but D.N. I want you so bad and I have no idea why. Now I've pretty much convinced myself through typing this out that its all lust... But thats ok. Just give me a few hours with you, or days, and I can get it out of my system. Damn. If that dog hadn't been around, who knows what I would've done with you.

I EAT ALOT OF CANDY

Coming Out Of The Closet
I Am An Atheist

It took alot for me to finally come to this realization, decision or whatever you'd like to call it. For a long time, I've said I'm agnostic. I've never come to terms with religion and what I thought about the world around me, and how it all came to be.

My brain screams that there is no God. My mortality cries that there must be.
I've been scared for a long time in regard to my eternal damnation, and "saving my soul". Even now, when I write this, I feel the judgement from the eyes of imagined strangers who would read this blog.

I am constantly in awe of my surroundings, life in all its forms, and the millions upon millions of possibilities I have to choose from both internally and externally of how my life will play out. I don't feel any less moral than my religious counterparts. I constantly question all things, and I don't believe that my curiosity is going to be the end of me. It baffles me how people could take something as an ultimate truth with full conviction. I try to lead my life in the moment. I try to be compassionate and loving to my fellow human.

Am I evil because I believe there is no God? I like to think that if there was a God, in all his omnipotency and omnipresence; wouldn't he rather have his creations question life and its origins? If you had all of eternity, instead of these fleeting years on earth, and you created something that was self-conscious; Wouldn't you have joy in seeing the skeptic grow? Always questioning and always full of wonder? Say you spent your entire life according to the bible. God exists and when you meet him in your heaven, he asks: What did you learn on earth, if all you've done was something you were told to do? Are you any better than a robot, then? Don't we learn from our mistakes? Don't we grow and become better human beings from memories, experiences, heartache, trouble, and defeat? "Don't touch the stove, because it is hot." What the hell is hot? Do you have any concept of the pain until you actually oblige your curious mind? How can you live if you've been told what life is all about? If you already know all the answers, are you just waiting to die, for heaven?

I remember when I first began questioning religion and the concept of a God. My mother was Bisexual for a time. She had multiple relationships with women when I was growing up. According to alot of people, my mother is eternally damned. It seems that it doesn't matter what else my mother does with her life. It is now void because she has a desire for someone of the same sex. How is it anyone elses business what my mother, or anyone else for that matter, does in their life if it doesn't cause any harm whatsoever to others? Religion also damns women as a second-class citizen in society. I have first-hand experience of the mind of men who actually believe this. When I was serving my community service last year in a church, there was a group of men who gathered once a week to talk about "Man" things. A speaker actually said "I know guys, I know... When it comes to doing chores, cleaning or helping around the house, it's usually the woman's job. But really, it would help if once in awhile, mind you not too often, you should help just a bit." I looked around and there were men nodding their heads solemnly, as if this was some sort of epiphany for them. OF COURSE YOU SHOULD HELP AROUND THE HOUSE! It's your fucking house too! Marriage isn't some bond of slavery! That contract doesn't dictate that you have someone to clean your mess and bend to your will just because you have a dick between your legs. I was appalled how many people, in this day and age, still had ideals written down in the bronze age as something to abide by.

I've come to reject alot of what religion stands for, and things associated with it. I don't think I want to get married. I don't mind commitment, but... why put so much pressure on something as delicate as a relationship? I don't even know if I want children. I certainly don't want any within the next 15 years. Maybe some people just have that parental nature, but I just don't feel it. I want to change this world. I want to better our fleeting time here. They say the first two years to raise a child costs something like $28,000. What if I just invested that instead into something like an invention, or a charity? Maybe I'm just a loner. I like my privacy, and alot of the moments of contention i've had were when I was by myself, surrounded by my thoughts and the chaotic peace of the world. I want love, and I want relationships, but not with a sacrifice as to what I could achieve in the fleeting time I have on this planet.

I'm afraid to post this. I don't know who's going to judge me, but I feel like this is liberating. I'm scared that most people find Atheism to be synonymous with demons, rapists, murderers and thieves. I'm a good person, but I just have so little patience for people who are willing to kill for something they haven't questioned themselves.

I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. This is, some genuine love here.

we're a little more distant now, for the better. But i still love you. Not even 10 minutes goes by when i dont think about you. You're perfect for me, I admire everything that you do, I wish i could marry you because you'd be the perfect husband.
But then again its deeper than that, it's like we're family man.
once more, i love you

I work.
I work so Goddamn hard in everything I do.
You barely try and yet.
Yet..
You come out on top.
I love you and admire you.
But I hate you in that respect.
Nothing I do will ever compare to you.

I have no friends only associates i sit at home everyday by myself feeling so alone...... i cry myself to sleep from the thought of dieing and being slone for therest of my life.

I truly hate the person tha i am........... i feel that no man will ever want me and only me there's alwyas gonna be some other woman or women that they can be with. why can't someone truly love me and be with me and only me.

I know that my man texts other women talking s if he's still single and want them... i've even seen pics that they sent him but he dosent know that i know all of this.

My boyfriend never tells me I'm pretty. I stopped getting dressed up to see him and he never even noticed my lack of effort.

I need out.

Stop being such a downer. Your mood flips just as easily as mine, only I'm better at not showing it than you. I make a point not to be a bitch when I'm angry. You need to stop sweating the small stuff already. You'll be over it in just a little while and I'll still be sitting here, hurt by the way you acted. I'm tired of trying so much. I'm not going to ruin anything with us, but I'm just going to let you see what I'm like when I have to deal with your passive agressive ass all day.

the only reason i didnt kill myself that day was because i couldn't stand leaving my dog. his is the only male that has ever truly loved me ( im a guy)

you have the most gorgeous smile, and warm eyes. your intellect is contantly impressing me. i wish i could be at 100% when you're around... but you make me so god damn nervous!!! something needs to happen, so i can function... and i don't mean with someone else.

Yesterday I whacked off and smeared some of my cum on my wife's clean panties. Today she was unknowingly wearing a pair of those cum dabbed panties. This is as close as I ever get anymore to having sex.

I love you. I didn't want to admit it, but I do. If you love her, I don't think I will able to stand being around either of you. I'm sorry. Please don't do this to me.

i dispise everyone i work with ... cuz they are all lazy bunch of whiny assholes... especially eileen...

well.  i certainly fucked myself there, didn't i.

The truth is that I hate social networking sites, yet I look at my Facebook profile at least twice a day because I'm bored shitless and have no one to talk to. As soon as I find a better way to communicate with others, I'm out. I'm deleting all of that shit. I hate reading people's boring, stupid ass updates about nothing. I don't give a flying, flippity, fuckity FUCK if you just got a new barn for your fucking Farmville. I don't give a rat's ass what you're having for dinner tonight. You could be having arsenic grits for all I give a shit. What a bunch of fucking lame asses. I hate having to tailor my words to a wide audience, including folks who are too damn old to be sitting around on the internet chatting anyway and those super-holy turd biscuits with a perpetual board up their asses who would find me morally repugnant if I just let it fly. Sometimes I really do want to go underground after I tell *almost* everybody I know to go fuck themselves. I don't know what stops me. I guess some weak, yet deeply ingrained sense of social propriety chains me to these people. Bastards.

just a couple of hours alone with you

is it just me, or did it feel like we could have kissed eachother in that moment...

i felt it

Today my very close friend told me that he feels like he needs something new and maybe even a girlfriend. He has feelings for me. I have feelings for him, but I also have a boyfriend. I think I pushed it and talked to much about my boyfriend that it depressed my friend and he's truly given up.
It hurts that he doesn't feel I'm enough for him and that he still wants a girlfriend. I know I have someone and I shouldn't be selfish cause I'm not really offering anything. I just don't wana stop being his #1 girl. I don't wana be just another friend, when he's so much more than that to me.

Urgh, I'm also not a cheater.

today i told you that i am afraid of dying. i always was since early childhood. you told me that there was no need to worry- you would die before me. you said you would wait for me. you would never leave me alone.

i cried silently on the phone and felt very, very loved.

when i am reborn i will search for you. i will spend every live with you that i get. i love you.

I miss sex. I hate having a higher libido than my boyfriend.

I look in the paper and see that the case has gone all the way to the Supreme Court!  It's a big case!  Wow!  And all I can think about is how years ago the plantiff's 19-year old daughter called me and started talking in detail about her sex life until I squirted cum all over myself.

Umm... AOL... you want to know why no one signs up for your stupid internet service anymore?

"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!!!"

Sometimes the speakers on my work computer are turned on.  

Morons.

You might as well change the voice-over message to:

"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!!!  AND ALL YOU PEOPLE WITHIN EARSHOT SHOULD KNOW THAT HE IS LOOKING AT THIS PERSONAL EMAIL ACCOUNT WHEN INSTEAD HE SHOULD BE WORKING."

I'm afraid of losing my sanity at work.

I know where you work now. What an absolute fluke to run into you there...you're fucked.

I know you saw me see you. You better fucking quit and find a new place to work because I am going to fucking destroy your life as you destroyed mine you selfish fucking cunt bitch.

Payback can never be as big a bitch as you are.

Prepare to suffer.

I want to get disappearing ink that reappears later. You spread it on someone "Fuckin Mitch, ah you fucker". Ten minutes later "Fuckin Mitch!"

Damn you Mitch Hedberg you will be missed.

I left you a happy birthday message and that is the last time you will ever hear from me.

I think that people who ignore other people have a special place in hell reserved for them.

It's torture and you broke my heart.  For no reason, I never did anything but care for you.

I'm really starting to despise Facebook.

Oh, God, I want her to love me again. She's supposed to be with me, not him, not carrying his child. It's wrong! My soul aches for her every single day.
(I'm a woman. Long distance sucks).