secrets


secrets

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183945.

I've been retired for 3 and a half years and I haven't had a day off yet. I hate my family.


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183944.

939 At 25 you have an exciting future a head of you. And you have the key to free yourself from the trap that perceive that you are in.  Do an inventory of what you talents and goals are. My advice is to look at what you enjoy in life and pursue a career that excites you.

Choose a job that you love and you will never work another day in your life.

At 25 you have ample opportunities to change your life many times.

Don't make the mistake of doing something that you do not enjoy and staying with it.  Live your life with no regrets!


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183943.

I am seriosuly one of the nicest people you will ever come across.  I'm kind, compassionate, and help everyone.  I go out of my way to right a wrong.  I don't lie, cheat or steal. I don't speak badly about people or intentionally hurt them. Note, I wasn't always like this.  Quite the opposite.  I've become this person after years of getting fed up with others behaving badly.  I didn't want to be like them.

That being said, in the past 15 years, I have been terribly hurt, betrayed and lied about by people I loved and trusted.  Even worse, when I've gotten to tell *my* side of the story to people, they've then ended up turning against me, and siding with the ones who have hurt me.  Wait - *I'm* the one who was wronged, and yet I'm the bad guy?  That hurts worse than the initial betrayals.

47/F


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183942.

You know how the style for Women's clothing now is this whole "peekaboo concept?"  For example, dresses and tunics all showing more and more of a woman's back?  

I'm a white woman, half Italian and my lower back has this patch of dark hair right above my butt.  I'm fair skinned, blonde hair.  

Do women with dark hair have this?  I'm thinking if I'm blonde and I have this that all the dark haired women out there are sporting this too??  If so, how are all of them wearing these clothes?  Are you getting it waxed?  

I have always assumed I have this from my Italian side.  Maybe it's PCOS?  I know I don't have a happy trail, THANK GOD.. so maybe it's not PCOS.  

An ex of mine used to call it my garden and would put his hand down there and play with it.  I'm sort of embarrassed about it though really.

Well, that's been my curiosity.  Do other women have this too?  It's not particularly black hair, and it's not thick, but it's noticeable and it's there..  I have had it waxed once.  It didn't go too well, I ended up breaking out and it was so itchy.


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183941.

I need to find my empathy again for my family. I don't want too, but I need too which sucks.


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183940.

I am the guy who posted 891 below.    Someone asked: "the horrors of communism has not escaped you? Islam is a ideology like communism and when the President of the USA asked for 3 months -to make sure that people who want to come to this country from countries that hate the USA -he is the problem?"

My reponse.

This site is not seminar in geo-politics or comparative religious studies or  theology.  It is a forum to discuss our secrets and maybe, maybe, by doing so get a deeper insite into ourselves and others.  The questions saddens me tho.   The questions seeks not to initiate  an  inward journey to personal insight (by perhaps taking my secret to read and personally/privately rigourously  explore those questions) but under the guise of reasonable  inquirery asks questions contrary to the purpose of this forum.  

The forum is to encourage you, and me,  to embark on a personal journey to explore our secrets thru rigourous and honest personal  intellelctual pursuit, perhaps, to repeat the Secret, by reading serious demanding books, many from many sources.  It your duty to explore these topics, not mine  to answer your questions here.

In so doing you, and all of us who do so,  may embark, as one sage wrote, in the most exciting, demanding and even scary journey you wil ever take.    The journey into the deepest  darkest recess of your mind, where you and only you  know if you are being truthful with yourself.    I have been exploring those and other questions since I can remember.     And the more I do, the more I realize I don't know much.      You seem to be convinced you know way more.     Maybe you do.    

My secret?   I am glad I am still reading more.     My hope is that you do too..

It would be so easy to answer those questions.    It is pure discipline that stops me from so doing..   Best to you.      

  


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183939.

I'm studying to get a Masters of education right now... but I really just want to forsake it all and do something else. It's just not appealing to me anymore... learning about classroom learning, it was fun at first, but I feel like I've lost my passion because I don't really get to study what I'm genuinely interested in... but at the same time I feel like I'm stuck.

I'm pretty sure I was the only grad in our program to take incompletes in 2 classes, still don't have my summer internship lined up, and have a 2.8 GPA (hopefully) for my first semester of grad school.

I dropped the ball at work too, failed to do programming that I was supposed to (literally what my position is based around) and I really don't like what my job is. I didn't have training, I'm not a fan of the environment... oh it just kills me... and the thought of working there for another year doing event planning. If only anyone knew how I actually felt... I know other grads didn't like their assistantships and switched out, and I know there's a lot I can learn about myself from the experience right now as well as growth that could take place... but I'm not sure if I'm really in a position to capitalize on those opportunities and to grow.

I'm either at my breaking point where everything is going to come crashing down and I quit grad school or I pick myself up and decide to be resilient.

M/25/Grad student


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183938.

I'm over it Sam. You're never gonna love me again and I'm never gonna get to love you again. Gotta accept it.


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183937.

914  Put a battery in and set it 2 hours early


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183936.

Every time someone mentions or starts talking about tattoos, I just listen and stay quiet.  Once you tell a person you have a tattoo, it usually follows by asking what and where you have them, mines are all hidden that you cannot see even if I'm wearing a 2 piece bathing suit.  It will be just be awkward telling a stranger, yeah I have two tattoos one in my butt cheek and the other one near my kitty , lol .

37/f


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183935.

I wrote this honest, heartfelt post for him earlier, but then I took it down because I realized that he would read it, immediately recognize that it was written by me for him, and would be so repulsed (for God knows what reason) that he would probably choke on his own vomit before he had a chance to switch to another site. Knowing this hurts my heart, but I'll live.


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183934.

I love you!!!!! I thought you were interested too but you never message but never ignore. I love you a lot and will never know :(


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183933.

Over the course of the past 35 years my cousin has let me down probably a million times, but I still love her. She uses me for money, a ride, a place to live on and off..and I always fall for whatever story she has. I know she's spending it on drugs but I can't seem to stop helping her out. I am a chump. Today I gave her $600 that I really didn't have to give.  She claimed she was about to be evicted. If she dies of an overdose it's going to be my fault. One hell of a psychologist I am. :(


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183932.

I finally understood what a work-wife was in my 30s.  I realized that I had had a work-wife in each of my jobs.  Sometimes one would leave and get replaced, but I always had one until last year.  That was the suckiest year at my job.

I have a new work-wife and I am much happier.


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183931.

we're going to do it. friday at 3pm, vegas time, we are getting married.
3/3 at 3pm - the 3rd significant relationship, with the one that has understood me the most.
we aren't telling the kids though - but we will come home and have a ceremony later in the year.
it's a big step for me but there's no better time for me.  i'm ready.


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183930.

My wife leaves the lights on all over the house. We've gone through this so many times. I've gently reminded her, I've yelled at her. Makes no difference, she continues to leave the lights on. She is very stubborn. You don't know the half of it.

Except, there is one situation where she always turns the lights off. If I'm in a room doing something and she comes in to ask a question, on the way out, she'll turn off the light. She does this to be passive aggressive. She does it to be annoying. It shows she knows exactly what she is doing. Her goal is to cause as much trouble as possible.

This is how she chooses to live her life. I really need to be rid of her.


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183929.

I believe most people married for the right reasons, mostly out of love but as people get older things change and not just physically, people change you are not same person you were as when you were younger. You view the world and everything around you different so some couples just become so different from each other and eventually they fall out of love.


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183928.

You are living proof that women have abysmally low standards.


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183927.

When someone treats you like shit it means that they are shit, not you. Have to remind myself of this from time to time.


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183926.

I'm not fulfilled in my marriage. My husband hasn't even attempted sex on about 2 months. This is what happens when I don't initiate. It just doesn't happen. I'm attractive. I'm affectionate. I've come to the conclusion he just doesn't want to be loved. I cannot fix him. We aren't compatible. These have been my thoughts for so long! But I fully realized, like a lightbulb by an incident that occurred 3 years ago. It was the moment I understood my needs weren't being met.
I had been at my sisters house and I had bought some dresses at a second hand store. I came back and tried them on and asked my sister her opinion on each (as sisters do!) and the last dress was so comfortable that I kept it on. It was summer time and it was breezy and the fabric was kind of silky. I walked out to the front porch and her neighbor was having a smoke with them and he looked up, and his jaw dropped. It was a bit awkward but he didn't try to hide it. He just said "Wow. You look fantastic."
Something clicked in my head at that moment and it was in the look he gave me. I hadn't seen that look, in years. I hadn't seen that look from my husband. It made me sad. So later, when my husband met me at my sisters after work, I asked him as I spun in a circle how he liked my new dress...& his expression didn't even change. He shrugged and said "it's nice I guess. Not really my style though."
This is the reason I've felt depressed. My husband rejects me on a daily basis and we don't connect intimately. It was so obvious and I've been beating myself up for years. What's wrong with me? Why am I so angry? Why do we fight?
Sex. Affection. Attention. Love. All intertwined.
Men, don't ignore your wives. It creates a divide that breeds resentment. It can't go anywhere pleasant. I feel lost and alone and sad.


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183925.

Dangit, I got bit by the love bug again!


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183924.

I was hanging out with my roommates the other day, and for some reason we had this exchange:

Me: ....you know, like when you're standing on top of a large building and you get the urge to jump.

Roomie: *squints* You mean you think about jumping when you're on top of a tall building, or you get the urge to?

Me: *pauses* ...I get the urge to. It's that whole phenomenon, right? The higher up you are, the more you want to jump?

Roomie: That's called being suicidal...

Me, fucking shocked m8: You mean...that's not normal?

*stares worriedly into camera*


I wonder, why does it not bother me to talk about depression and the way it makes me think and feel, and it bothers others? My best guess is that I'm so far rooted in my reality, I forget what healthy thinking even is. It doesn't bother me though, because having MDD (I think, it's either that or an anxiety disorder--I've been studying this for years in order to understand myself and others) isn't my fault. I'm not really a healthy thinker, or mentally stable. I have mood swings to the point where it's a known (and, for the most part, accepted) part of my personality. I think that's it actually. It doesn't bother me because, it's just a part of me like any other.

I wonder, does this mean that if I ever do feel "normal" that I won't feel like myself anymore?


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183923.

You are all so stupid for getting married! Both Men and Women. You do it why? Because everyone else does? You want kids? You think the Love you feel will last year after year?


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183922.

I have to break up with my boyfriend.

He's a really nice guy and I love him, but it's not working out in the bedroom. He also wants to move in together, but I can't do that right now for a number of reasons.

I want to love and support him still, but as a friend. I myself have just come out of a long marriage and have come out as gay just recently. It's just that, I feel a real sense of freedom for once in my life, when I am flirting or hooking up. We do have an agreement as long as we're safe.

But I don't think, this is fair to him or to me. He expects my oats to be sown and done soon, but I'm not they'll ever be done or at least as I am sexually incompatible with him.

I find myself dreading to see him because this has been on my mind, especially since I've been talking it out with my therapist. His mother is also very old and does not have much time left probably. His birthday is also in a week or two. I know I'm not responsible for his emotional or personal development. But I will feel like I am abandoning him, no matter when I break up with him...

Why did I have to fall in love?


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183921.

I had a dream I fucked your mouth. I knew it was a dream because I was fucking your mouth. When I woke up, I desperately tried to go back to sleep, because that dream was way better than the last five years with you.

I think it's time to move on, not just because of the mouth fucking, but because you're not the same person I fell in love with.

You'll understand, I know you will. Later toots.


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183920.

I really miss being around you so much


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183919.

Anybody who thinks award shows- the Oscars, the Emmys, etc.- are about quality is totally out of touch. It's about money, honey. Studios spend hundreds of thousands of dollars, sometimes millions, to get on the list of nominees. Even getting nominated significantly boosts profits. Winning? You're talking about earning millions more for the same crappy movie you already made. The studios put together "for your consideration" campaigns for the award show panels. The people who voted for the Oscars never even paid to see the movies and probably got plenty of free shit just for considering casting their vote. It's not the People's Choice Awards. It's the Oscars. And you've been duped into thinking that they matter.


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183918.

183891 and 183912 Thanks for this. I loved reading it as well but you lost me when you got to the last sentence.
You are very well read and traveled but the horrors of communism has not escaped you? Islam is a ideology like communism and when the President of the USA asked for 3 months -to make sure that people who want to come to this country from countries that hate the USA -he is the problem? Legal immigration is something every country has on their books.I am an legal immigrant to the USA and it has given me a great life.Why must the USA  take every refugee from countries that hate us while the Arab countries do not lift a finger to help their own?
How do these destitute refugees get to Europe.They travel by train and boat- who pays for this? It is more than two thousand miles. When you see them- most have cellphones and more young men than women and children.When you lost everything how can you afford all this? Is Saudi Arabia paying these fares so it become Europe's problem and so that they don't need to bother with Muslims who are a different sect than they are? Don't criticize the American President when he  is trying to protect America.How soon we forget the 3.000 people that lost their lives on 9/11 .The President  does not make the laws- He is enforcing the laws on the books. He asked for three month delay in issuing visas to seven countries in the world.....


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183917.

My work wife is the only thing that makes me smile sometimes. She's caring and attentive, but playfully mean and a bit of a brat sometimes. She's the kind of woman that cares about others more than herself, often to her own detriment. She's sassy, cute, and stubborn as all hell.

Whenever I'm irritated, she can sense whether it's because of an event or because of my mood swings, and can handle either situation if it comes to it. She buys me food sometimes, and often I make lattes for her in the afternoons. She listens to me, even if I've told her something before, because she knows that talking about my problems helps me sort them out.

I try to help her have confidence, and overcome her anxiety in some situations. Of course, we talk about boys. We've both had a string of nobody's in our lives since we met. My secret, I guess, is that I feel like I want to be with her. We're already friends so that part is easy, and when it comes to sex we'd have to just learn from each other. Neither of us has much experience being with another woman, but she's not big into sex as much as support, which is better than fine by me. I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel that way about me. Even if she did, she'd be the type not to say anything. I guess I have to see if something just happens.


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183916.

#NotMyOscars


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183915.

My brother finally had the guts to visit our mother's grave, alone. It's been 16 years since she passed, and he's never been able to muster up the strength to go. Of course, it broke him. But that's the major first step to getting over it. I'm proud of him


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183914.

I married the laziest most self centered woman of all time. She won't do anything she doesn't want to do. Life is all about her. Anything else which comes up, you know, like chores, that is for the little people to worry about.

The battery died in our kitchen clock. It's a simple fix. You take the clock off the wall. Pop in a new AA. Done.

I decided not to change the battery to see what happens. It's been months. The clock is stuck at about 6:50. She won't lift a finger to replace the dead battery. It's so funny to watch this unfold. Even after all these months of the clock hands not moving, she comes in the kitchen, looks at the time and says, "It's 6:50 already? I'm going to be late for dinner. I better go." And then she dashes out the door to meet up with her friends. She's done this several times. Hello? Anyone home in that head of yours?

The most selfish woman ever. The laziest woman ever. Maybe the dumbest woman ever.


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183913.

If it wasn't clear before with all their anti-Trump rants, after the La La Land mishap, now it is indisputable, Hollywood is filled with morons.


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183912.

I dreamed about you last night. It was good to see you. I woke up feeling warm and peaceful. I wonder if I showed up in your dreams too.


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183911.

I've been reading the posts on this site for probably 10 years... and today I just read the very best...

183891

You made my day...


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183910.

Secrets for today:
1. I have bedbugs through no fault of my own (I've been at this apartment complex for 25 days and they popped up day 16) and I feel extremely embarrassed because I can't have people over (I'm extroverted. This is a big deal). I'm going to try to terminate my lease for this reason, but another reason too:  on my way to a party last night, I heard a couple on the first floor screaming. At first, I only heard the woman and thought it was sex but then I heard the man yelling and stuff being thrown and I realized it might have been a domestic dispute. I don't know which unit though....
2. I'm 26 and spend 70% of my waking hours fantasizing about my friend who's like 45. He's such a tender and smart person though! I find it hard to ignore that about him.


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183909.

I can't say this because some people might think that it's racist, but here goes:

Moonlight absolutely sucked. It was one of the worst movies that I have ever seen in my life. I don't know how it won Best Picture. La La Land was OK, but even so it was much better than that dribble. It had a bad story, contrived acting, and terrible cinematography. Save the two hours and watch anything else.


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183908.

I would like very much to not exist. Nothingness sounds equivalent to bliss.


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183907.

Does every family have a dick uncle? So glad my man is an awesome uncle to his niece and nephew, and would never choose petty obstinance over loving his family.


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183906.

You have a home here anytime you want it , for as long as you want it.
I am not talking about walls and a roof, but an actual home.


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183905.

I'm so tired of needing to be in the relationship. I'm craving male's connection. I know that I'm clingy by nature but I learned to control it. After the last break up in December, I decided to take a break from relationship to pursue some other personal goals and due to a very busy schedule. Not for a long time, until June-July. But, man, this is hard. I'm checking dating websites, personals, etc. I'm tired of my own desire. Is this some kind of depression? Does anyone else have it? Do you know how to deal with it?

F/42


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183904.

I had a dream the other night that I was shot and killed.  I fell on the floor bleeding until my heart stopped beating.  I weakly keep trying to hit my chest to get my heart working again, and kept willing my heart beat to return, but it wouldn't. I desperately wanted to continue living and do the things I always wanted to do, but I felt my body failing.  My vision started to go dark.

I woke up, and my heart wasn't beating for a few seconds, until it finally started up again.  I was also confused about when I was supposed to get up for work.  Normally I have no problem remembering what I need to do, but I was completely confused about everything.  After a few minutes, I was able to piece together when my alarm was supposed to go off, and what to do at my job.

I worried about my health for most of the day before I realized I would be fine, and I'm not dying.  But, did I die in my sleep that night, or was it just a dream?


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183903.

I didnt know vedio games could be as bad as pills or drinking.

Its ruined my marriage. I won't marry again. Ever but now I am on the track to leaving him.

I got a job, I got a decent car.

Now just a second job, a small place to rent

Then my kids won't have to be a distraction to his games.
Me and my kids can enjoy life, and spend time together and maybe I can find a good time.

I'm so close to making it out of this hell.

At least addicts to other things have help and rehab


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183902.

WTF commercial did i just see?  was that kid trying to open a portal to another world or something?


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183901.

Using my fingernails, I have ripped ugly looking moles out of skin. Who needs to pay a Dermatologist $300? Bah.


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183900.

When I suggest sex to my wife, she always answers with disdain. Even on the rare occasion she agrees to sex, it's with an asterisk, being sure to let me know she is against the idea. It's getting very tiring. Ladies, you want to know why your husbands cheat...


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183899.

I realized that he hates me too.
Doorslam like no other.
But you know what?  Life goes on.  
Realize it's good not to be with someone so callous.
Save your love and compassion for someone worthy.  They are out there waiting for you!


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183898.

He hates me. :(


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183897.

I always taught my dad was exaggerating, when he told us the airplane he was on board to get it  back to service was almost shot down . I was looking at some all comments on his fb and one guy thank him and the rest of the crew for saving his life.  Sometimes I envy my dad , his life been an adventure, he makes a living doing what he loves the most and is passionate about it (airplanes/travel the world) how awesome will be to have a job that pays you to see the world.


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183896.

891 - Lovely post and may the world be filled with such enlightened people like you


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183895.

In my daughter's high school, the girls have begun posting pictures of their prom dresses online. They do it to call dibs on a dress. Once the picture is posted, no other girl can buy the same dress. That's the rule.

I mean really? This is what they are worried about? The world is falling apart and these ditzy girls can only think about what they will be wearing to the prom, and selfishly so, saying no one else an wear that particular dress. I shake my head at young people.


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183894.

I'm at a place in life where I feel like I have to shut off the sexual and emotional parts of my nature in order to move forward. It sucks. Bad. It is very unnatural to me. It goes against everything inside of me, but you can only tame the things that you can conquer. The end is worth the means, I guess.


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183893.

876 - This is my husband and I and we have been together for 19 years.  I couldn't imagine a day of my life without him.


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183892.

The best sexual connections are spiritual, but they are hyper vulnerable and the spirit has to be embraced - otherwise it never manifests. My experience.

Both people have to let it go.


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183891.

I grew up dirt poor, lived in an unpainted shack with tar paper roof, more then once there was no food in the house.   I was the kid who lived literally on the wrong side of the tracks,  and I was Mexican in a white school.    I never got invited to any parties,   never had freinds at school.    

My mother was a reader.   We had all the clasic books in the house.  I was todler and saw her reading in the dim light.  She looked almost contetented.    I wanted that feeling so I began to read and learned I could  escape my miserable world of isolation and deprivation by reading.   By the 7th grade I had read most of the classics, and some serious history.   At 13 I was fascinated by how Tito lead the most successful resistence movement in Europe and had failed the second grade.    I was a bad student.    

But I knew I was not dumb.  Once I was lost in book I was reading in the 5th grade, the teacher called me up to embarrass me by having me solve a math problem she was teaching and I was ignoring.    I went to the blackboard,  took the chalk she gave me, looked at the numbers,  thought hard for a long moment , then began solving the problem.   I had figured it out before I started so I could write quickly giving the impression I was solving it as I wrote.    When I was done, I gave her the chalk, she looked at me in shock, the class was silent, and I walked back to my seat.    I KNEW I had aced it.  I knew no one would ever look at me again an think "dumb Mexican"  and neither would the teacher.     I had a a book at home I had read about solving math problems.     I never did the homework, didn't pay attention to class an she gave me a C.   I knew my test scores were better then that.   I never said anything.

In the 7th grade, I was secredtly reading  Kafka.    One day lost in the book,  the teacher was next to me an said, "Give it to me."    I handed her the book,   She looked at it,  she looked at me,  she said , "See me after class." in a pleasant voice.    When we met, she gave me back the book,  asked how much I had read.  I told her.    She stayed quiet a long time then told me to tell her when I finished.     From that day on, she queitly, so queitly, without any fanfare, encouraged me.     I got an A in her class, and won a writing award.  The other smart rich kids were baffled.   In private we talked about the classics, like:  The Three Musketeers, pronouncing D'Artegnan "Dee-artigan" and Dumas;  Dickens and others too.    

In high school, my social isolation continued.   Once, the baddest guy in school wanted to fight me.   I was way smaller but I had no choice.   People gathered round to watch him make  make me hamburgher.    I went into a boxing stance, began to jab an bob an weave,  an very quickly had taken command of the fight. I had him bleeding from the nose an lips,  he doubled up and I had a clear shot to his nose.    I began the punch and stopped.    A coach then stopped us, I heard someone say.."Wow,   I am imressed."   I didn't say a word and walked away.    From that day on, I still never got invited to any parties but  no one ever physically messed with me again.     What they didn't know was I boxed at a gym near my house.    I had fought an beat the golden gloves champ.    I was pretty good.     I was small but fast an coordinated.    That big bad guy?  He never had a chance against me.    

In my senior year, I aced the achievment tests, scoring  as high as the smart kids tho' I had all C's an D's.    

Flash forward.  I ran into one of the popular smart kids.  We talked.  He was teaching   high school.    He asked what I was doing.  I told him I was teaching at a  B-school (I didn't have to say Prestigious) and working as a business consultant.  He was literaly speehless for a long moment.    We went on our way.    

Later I ran into one of those popular gorgeous smart  girls.  For some unknown reason she was always genuinley nice to me.    We talked,  told each other what we were doing.    She looked at me and said:  I always knew you were smart.  I KNEW it.   I am not surprised you are doing well.   I remember telling other kids you were smart.  They didn't believe me.  

Sometimes I hear about some of those guys from back then.   Some are not doing well,  personally, financially,  physically.   I am.    I am very fit,   have a great income, own a very nice big home, travel all over the world,  go to exotic places, love to cook and eat great food  and drink and married to a smart fun fit gal who has a touch of class.

I  still read serious stuff.    And hardly watch any TV but I am aware of the basic history of the middle east,   Europe, Russia and other hot spots.    

Life is good for me now.    I don't hate those people from back then nor do I wish them ill.   I wish they were all doing great.   But they are not.      

My secret?  Be a reader, read everything.    Just read, especially the classics,  science, history and then..read more.     And never stop.    Never.  
Then drink some good wine an beer and eat good food.    Then travel...don't vacation..travel... to those great places where history was made,   walk Gettysburgh alone, feel the ghosts as a freind said,  go to Bokhura look into the pit where the Emir kept Stoddard an Connelly  prisoners before lopping off their heads.... got to Normandy and Kiev and look at the terrain that the American and Russian guys had to cross to defeat the Nazis, walk thru the gas chambers of some of the concentration camps... feel the  horror, oh the horror.    

Then look at a pic Trump and Bannon after reading some of the things they said.    Your reaction will be our secret.                  

    

        


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183890.

Another beloved actor has died too soon.  And once again, I wish it had been another celeb jerk instead.  

It's not healthy to think like that.  At least I know better than to joke that god - if s/he exists - must have a sense of humor, or need another angel.

It still shows how much I haven't changed since I was a kid.


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183889.

I learned some things about you recently that I hadn't known before and it gave me more perspective on who you are and why you do what you do. Understanding you helps me to forgive you. I don't feel resentment anymore, or pain for myself. I do feel pain for you, though.  For years I felt as if I had been given this very intimate glimpse into your true spirit and nature, and I loved the person that I came to know. I don't regret any of that. I believe that we could have been nothing but positive in each others' lives had sex not been part of the equation. You were honest and authentic with me in a way that I know in my heart you were never as honest or authentic with another person.  I do wonder why you chose me, but I guess it all has symmetry. We were both hurting. You recognized my ability to empathize, you saw compassion in me. I regret that I allowed jealousy and a sense of rejection to destroy what we did have, which was a soul connection, a spiritual kinship and friendship unlike any other that I had ever had before, and will likely ever have again.  I miss our talks. I miss not having to apologize for who I am, or worry that I was talking over your head.  You understood me, better than I understood myself, and I thank you.  I will always love you, kindred spirit. It isn't a romantic or sexual love, but more like that of a sister for a brother, or a daughter for her father.  I wish that I had understood then what I do now. I hope that life brings you healing and peace. You have so much to give. Don't let fear cheapen it. God knows the content of your soul. All that earthly garbage is just that...garbage.  Thank you for believing in me. Nobody else has ever given me a gift like that. I will never forget your kindness.


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183888.

The most damaged type of person is the one who takes another individual's kindness or sincerity for weakness and then turns it on them like a knife. Instead of preying on or disparaging what you perceive to be weak, examine your own heart and your own motives. Fix what is broken inside of you instead of lashing out at other people.


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183887.

I need someone to tell me that I will find love again. I left my marriage because it was sexless. Then I met at man who loved me and we had amazing sex. It was lovely. He broke up with me and now I wonder if I will ever find that again. I just need to know: do people find amazing sexual realtinship twice in a lifetime?


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183886.

My cousin just move to Brazil, i wish I have the time to go and visit him. It would be lovely walking around topless in a g string and not worry about prudes and uptight people , who act like they never seen a pair of tits.


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183885.

There's no party like a g-spot party! He makes my body experience feelings I have never experienced!I can't wait until we get to experiment with his g-spot! I want him to explode and cum like I do when he stimulates me.


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183884.

When my wife weighs herself in the morning, she subtracts 5 pounds from what the scale says because she is wearing slippers.

Keep dreaming honey, slippers don't weigh 5 pounds!


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183883.

I'm not so sure that (romantic) love matters anymore. Sometimes you just have to give up and stop torturing yourself over people who are doggedly determined to prove themselves not worth the effort.


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183882.

A bitter heart is a waste of love. Love your yourself, love your friends, love your family, and yes - love your enemies. For they are the ones who teach you.

Nobody grows from feeling good. It is the challenges in life that develop us as people.

You will suffer for everybody you truly love. The trick is finding the ones that are worth the pain.


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183881.

I'm glad that my words were helpful.

When the foundation of your life is cracked (which mine is/was), the only option you have is to keep letting the house you insist on trying to build around it disintegrate into the mud, or you start from scratch and rebuild the whole thing. It isn't easy. It's lonely work. It's frustrating work. It can be pride and ego annihilating work. You cannot cling to or be dependent on other people and repair yourself at the same time. You just can't. I've seen a lot of people who try to do that...they hop from one relationship or one bed to the next, and the vibe you always get from them is that they are unsettled, anxious, and deeply dissatisfied on a soul level. Their soul has no home because they haven't taken the time and effort to build one.  They seek out one-dimensional "intimacy" because they are off balance and can't find comfort in themselves.  I don't say this to be cruel, it's simply the truth. I used to resent people like this, but now I'm starting to have more compassion for them and their fear-based pattern of behavior. When you are constantly running from yourself you miss out on anything that amounts to everything: joy, security, solace, peace, genuine love, genuine friendship. Runners never have this. Another peculiarity that I have found is that you honestly have to slow down to accelerate in life.  You have to throw out the time table and start working from the inside out and base your sense of progress solely on yourself and not the expectations of others. Pain is the best teacher. If you want to have a rich life, you must first recognize that you are a pauper. Everything that you are running after is probably chasing someone or something else. Let the wind chasers go... Chase yourself...the self that you were born to be. Chase the truth. Chase your inner divinity. Nothing else matters.

--F/35


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183880.

#852 - what are your initials?

texting goes both ways yanno.  text me.  :)


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183879.

My grandmother once told us about the time she took her mentally disabled younger brother, whom she cared for, out to eat.  I think they went to Denny's.  When she went to pay the bill, the waitress told her it had been paid for by an older couple.  My grandmother and her brother were dressed in such old and tattered clothes that the couple felt bad for them.  They thought they were poor and wanted to pick up the tab.

What they didn't know is that my grandmother actually had a lot of money.  Her closet (as well as my great-uncle's) was filled with designer clothes, shoes and accessories, the highest quality lambskin gloves in every color, furs, and spectacular jewelry.  Her home was filled with antique furniture and tapestries, and artwork from some of the most well-known artists out there.  A lot of these things were collected from her travels around the world.  In fact, she and my great-uncle had just returned from a three-week tour of the United Kingdom.

She used to always dress very nicely, but at some point she just didn't care anymore.  She continued to buy nice things, but never wore them unless she was traveling, preferring to run about town in stained and worn-out clothes.  Weird.


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183878.

I'm an idiot. Probably be paying for that one for the rest of my life. Damn it.


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183877.

I wish I was a librarian.


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183876.

You love me for who I am. You're a "modern" man and by that, I mean you believe women should be able to do whatever they want. You don't believe in traditional gender roles. You don't expect me to be anything than I want to be and you encourage me to go after the things I want. During sex, you encourage conversation so we both get what we need and want. You're great to talk to and a big nerd just like me.
We are going to get married and any of the above reasons are enough, but the real reason I'm marrying you is that you're safe.
I love you like a love a really good friend, my best friend,  and if something goes wrong with our relationship I will be sad but it won't knock me down.
I don't think anything will happen. I can see us together for the rest of our lives and that is so very comforting to me.


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