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191505.

#504 have you ever gotten a married guy off?


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191504.

@501- some of us gay guys don't want all that. We want to watch a game, make some nachos, down a few beers, and suck off a buddy without any reciprocation. I hate to reinforce stereotypes, but many gay guys can easily separate sex from intimacy. Some of us just want to suck your dick. Personally, if I'm just looking to have fun and get a guy off, I'm more motivated by watching him squirm and beg, and really not into my own orgasm. And if you're half-way decent looking and relatively clean - you'll do.


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191503.

488- Happy birthday!


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191502.

Whenever I read some outrageous anti-Trump doomsday the-sky-is-falling headline on CNN..... I wonder what the real story is.


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191501.

@493.  

If only!!!  It sounds great.  Only problem is that the thought of another man kissing me or touching me with his penis is disgusting to me, personally.  Other than that it sounds like a dream.  Not hating...just saying.  Rock on my playin' for the other team brothers!


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191500.

Lord please help my side business flourish so I can leave corporate America in 2018!!!


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191499.

Karma strikes back. My exwife is a moron. She's a dangerous moron. She's a teacher. A few weeks ago one of her students came to her after class and said someone was "touching his private parts". My exwife, who suffers from being a lazy bossy know it all, did nothing. She didn't tell anyone at the school. She didn't call the boy's parents.

The other day the story broke after the boy told another teacher. That teacher brought in the principal. As the details emerged it came out that the boy told my exwife but she did nothing. The school administration was less than pleased. In short they flipped out on her. They are thinking about putting her on administrative leave as the first step towards firing her. She calls me to tell me all this and asks what she should do.

I shake my head. My exwife made such bad decisions when we were married. I was always cleaning up the messes she caused. She is still doing it, but hey, this time it's not my problem. She's going to have to deal with this on her own. I hope the school does fire her. She's not fit to be a teacher. Just like she wasn't fit to be a wife.


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191498.

I think the Alabama election was rigged.


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191497.

Haha, I love that people are acting like a Senated Democrat win in Alabama is like a new President! Um, congrats on a Senate Seat  ??? and it was basically a tie! not like there was any blowout.
Simple Math: Majority of Black Voters hate Trump, so they came out and voted.  Issues don't seem to matter. I doubt they even know the Dem Candidate!


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191496.

I love nice hands on a guy.  A lot of women like big manly hands, but that's one part of my man that I like a little more...slight.  Thin long fingers, a little bit soft, maybe the guy plays guitar and you imagine those fingers strumming or other things...


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191495.

I believe the anti-vax movement was started by the drug companies. Think about it. Why would they want to give you a single, cheap vaccination as a child when they could wait until you're older, catch the disease and then be on the hook forever?


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191494.

DONALD TRUMP IS OFFICIALLY BALLOT BOX POISON!!!


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191493.

I really, really, really shouldn't say this but all you men who have found yourselves in nightmare marriages, and there are tons and tons on here, should probably consider skipping over to the other team.  Just sayin ....  I never skipped because I was born over here, but it's better than anything else I've heard, especially on this site.  

Then, think of this:  These days if you even speak to a woman, she can interpret it as sexual harassment and get you effed up with just a few well-chosen words from her lying non-sexual mouth! But if you end up marrying her, she's got you by the throat and balls and she knows it.  Notice how many men on here say that the sex stopped as soon as the I dos were spoken.

Men understand men better than women understand men and better than men understand women.  And the sex is uninhibited, nasty and fanfuckingtastic!

Label it any way you want, but if you don't know, you certainly suspect!

So there!


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191492.

On my way to New Orleans from way up north, where I live, I drove through Alabama.  Mind you, it was nighttime, but throughout the whole state, I did not see a thing.  Nothing!


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191491.

My wonderful husband is gorgeous; that's the only thing wrong with him.


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191490.

I lost 3 more pounds as of this morning.

I got a full Brazilian.

My story was featured in a nation-wide publication.

I am having a very great day!


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191489.

I get that. Skilled hands are sexy because they give the impression that they could apply those skills to pleasing your body...rough, gentle, and in between


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191488.

1. It's sad how foreign being well-rested feels right now

2. I love you a lot, but I don't know how.

3. There's a voice in my head giving me good advice. Not auditorily, but it's a new part of myself to talk to. She's more responsible than I am. I'll embrace her.

4. The power of the end of the year is strong with change. Not only because of the typical New Year's Urge To Do Better With Your Life, but because my birthday is in a few days and my expectations of myself get higher as I get older. I don't think it's a bad thing

5. If anything, I'm becoming more confident in what I say and do, how I speak to others, and sometimes, my place in this world. But that's only when the depression lets up a bit.

6. More people may like you when they first meet you, but more people like me when they get to know me. I think my grass is green enough


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191487.

Why wont you talk to me Graham? I'm too scared to text you because I'm afraid of you not responding cause that will only hurt worse, I'm also afraid to hear the reason as to why you've stopped talking to me, but I want to talk to you, I miss you.


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191486.

I don't like dogs. Everyone likes dogs, but I think they're gross and demanding. No, I won't touch your dog and tell it how cute it is. Find another way to connect with people, loser.


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191485.

I think my roommate is a prostitute. It's weird. She did not used to do that.


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191484.

I want to get rich
I want to be truly wealthy

And then I'd give it all away to be as poor as I am. Now.


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191483.

Why would you need to get over me. Your with one of the guys you cheated on me with. While I still pick up the pieces. Knowing full well I'll never have another and I'll be alone forever


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191482.

There is someone at my job who is unfortunately pretty ugly in the face.

Strangely, his hands are very appealing. The shape of it, the veins - masculine but not overtly. I've seen him play piano and a string instrument and it's extremely tantalizing, for some strange reason. Additionally his musical talent and quiet confidence are extremely attractive...


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191481.

I wish my brain didn't turn to mush and I didn't get so hyper self-conscious  whenever you're around. It's just that you are, hands-down, the sexiest man I've ever known. You mess me up. Bad.


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191480.

I think more highly of Alabama and its citizens than I did an hour ago.


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191479.

Not everything is about you. Sometimes people just want to get stuff off their chest and let it go.


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191478.

Yes I've sexual harassed women in the work Place, Fuck I even grabbed an underage girls ass because se wanted me to buy her and her friends beer 🍺 Wow, That was sick I know but that Fat Ass felt so good.


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191477.

I hate Republicans, They think they are better Human Beings than Everybody else , He'll they're supporting Roy Moore's Racist Pediphille , Fake Christian Ass, They only Look out for the Rich "The Latest Tax Bill" for example, and these Poor White people and Sell out Black Folks still support and Vote for these Republicans even tho they are being Ass Raped without lube by them.


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191476.

I want to Fuck this Girl at Work. Her Name is Camilla .She is Considered a Thick Ass Girl. Problem is I can't because I would be Fired in a Heartbeat if I even try to Flirt with her, I would just Love to Eat Her Asshole like a Fat Kid eats Cake, I would definitely"Wife her Up" and have some kids with her, JS.


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191475.

I hate winter. I'm not understanding why Americans live in the northern part of the country. It's cold and bleak and depressing. I'd jump at the opportunity to live in South Florida.


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191474.

School holiday concerts make me cry. I'm not sure why.


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191473.

I'm supposed to be doing my laundry and cleaning my apartment today. Instead I'm getting drunk and watching movies. I have little ambition to complete my chores.


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191472.

Happy birthday my friend! (This is a secret because her husband wouldn't approve of me wishing his wife a happy birthday.)


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191471.

I think the shame men feel is because they don't want anyone to know how crazy their wives are. Much of being married to someone like this involves living a double life.
The violent outbursts are a red line. It sounds obvious, but nothing usually makes sense in marriages like this.


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191470.

Some days I think I'm really starting to get over you. And then there are other days when I wake up, and it's the heartbreak, sadness, my cheating...my horrible behaviors that make me realize I shouldn't be getting over you. I lost the best thing I had, and it's gotten better, and I'm content for the most part about my life right now, but I will never stop imagining what could have been.


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191469.

I think Trump has been making a lot of his decisions based on how much time he has left to live. I mean, he's in his 70s. I'm not saying everyone in their 70s are on their deathbeds, but men tend to die before women (sometimes). This isn't in all cases, but I'm just saying. I feel like he's purposely trying to fuck this world up as much as humanly possible before he dies, so that when he does die, the world IS a shittier place without him. That is how conceited he is. He's a fucking goon, and he should take his family with him when he goes. -_-


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191468.

My favourite Christmas album is ruined because the singer proved to be yet another rapey asshole. I can't listen to it without hearing that mellow voice demanding gross bullshit from the backup singers. God damn you, why couldn't you be as nice as you made us all believe?


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191467.

I'm having lots of anxiety about looking for a new job. I've been at my current job since I was 20, and I'm about to turn 24. I've learned all I can here. There are lots of perks (usually free food), but I need to move on from this job if I'm going to continue progressing in life.

But GD this anxiety! I'm so nervous about this change that I've been avoiding the stress of it by not applying. But I keep having dreams about missing opportunities, staying stagnant, being chased by my fears and insecurities. During my waking hours it's hard to focus on applying, because my brain won't SHUT UP with the doubts.

I'm not experienced in this field, they won't want me
I don't have a degree, they won't want me
Even if they want me they'll pay me pennies
I'm lucky to even get the wage I get now
Do you really think you could do better?
Do you really want to start over?
What if you get fired and lose everything??
What if? What if??

God, SHUT UP!! I know I can do this, I just need a moment of mental peace!!! I'm so frustrated :(


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191466.

My roommate tried to pull the whole "Women should boycott bras because they're just a thing deemed socially necessary by the patriarchy," point to try and empower us. This was a guy, mind you.

Then we went around the room and asked how many of the women in my house (3, all different fields) would be able to go to work without wearing a bra without being sent home. The answer was zero.

Nice try!


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191465.

Six months ago I went on a job interview. They sent me an email a few days later saying I wasn't hired. When I told my wife, she turned viciously angry and went on a rant saying I'm a loser and she regrets marrying me. The job thing eventually worked out somewhere else, but there was no way to recover from her hateful words. It's only a matter of time before I leave this marriage.


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191464.

Domestic violence against women is deplorable for sure. Not to diminish the point, but know that domestic violence against men is also a thing. I personally believe it is a big thing that rarely gets mentioned because men are embarrassed to admit their wives hit them. I think wives have figured this out, which only makes the crime intensify as women know they will get away with it.

I have been slapped in the face, punched in the head, pushed to the ground, kicked in the back of the head while I was sitting on the floor, whacked in the head with a frying pan, whacked in the head with a coffee mug, to name a few. The worst abuse was me on a ladder. She got angry at something and pushed the ladder over. I came crashing to the ground. She then started whacking me in the head and face with a metal paint roller. I ended up with a large bleeding gash next to my eye. I am certain if there had been a knife nearby, she would have stabbed me to death.

Domestic violence against the husband is real.


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191463.

My wife told me recently that she has never enjoyed sex even when she orgasms, says it's too much work for the results.
WTF?
I suggested that maybe she see a therapist  or explore sex with a woman as i don't seem to be what she wants.
Nope, im happy to never again have sex....soon do be single again


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191462.

Something I've noticed about wives who turn out to be crazy.  They were all sex fiends during the courtship.  They all seem to have done the "road head" trick early on in the relationship.  Then they get married and turn into witches.

Isn't it obvious that they were only using sex to trap the man into marriage?  They wanted husbands.  There's nothing more terrifying to a woman than growing older without a husband, and having to face her married girlfriends.  It's some huge shame.  To them being unmarried is like carrying a huge sign that says, "I'm not wanted" around their married friends.  They need to get married for their social status.  Men need to watch out.


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191461.

-443, you're a great dad.  I'll have to remember that for when my sons get married.  I will warn them not to get their wives pregnant for the first few years.  "Have some fun first!  Don't have the kids yet!  Wait a bit!"  That way if they wives turn out crazy, I can be the driver to convince them to get the hell out of the marriage as soon as they can with the minimal amount of problems.


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191460.

I just want him back because he treated me badly. It feels like it would be a challenge to get him to love me and treat me right. I'm disgusted by my own desires.


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191459.

I dated a man seriously for three years. We were very much in love and had great sex but he started hitting me. I kept telling him to stop and he said he would but he never did. One day he went crazy and tied me up in the bathtub and tortured me for hours. I truly believed I was going to die. It was the most horrific experience of my life and I am completely traumatized. I am now seeing a therapist and psychiatrist trying to cope with what happened to me but to be honest I am not doing well and I fear I will never be the same again. Domestic violence is no joke, if your partner is abusive or shows signs of becoming abusive, just leave them. It could save your life. And to people who think that's ok, or that anything their partner could do could merit that kind of violent response, you are fucked up. All you can ever do is break up with someone. You cannot physically control or punish them, no matter how angry you are. I am praying I can recover and be the vibrant, happy, fearless young woman I once was


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191458.

My parents paid $2500 for someone to write my college application essays.


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191457.

454 I hope that picture of their dog was enough to give your neighbours a brief respite from their grief. I've been really struggling with my depression and anxiety today and the mental image made *me* smile. You did a kind thing for your neighbours, and inadvertently for a stranger too. Thank you.


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191456.

Nothing is my more vile than my soon to be ex husband peeing and immediately afterwards wipes his hands on my mouth and face. This was just one of the many cruel and evil things he did to me.

I'm a college educated Hispanic professional women in my early 40s. I'm
Considered very attractive and I do well for myself and my kids.

I'm Searching for my equal. For you guys that have the misfortune of a crappy wife please know there are still good women out there looking for good man such as yourselves. I'm one.

43/F in Texas


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191455.

Another lament for the WTF? marriage pile:

After nearly 20 years, three children, a mortgage and many miles of bumpy road my wife recently had an epiphany: in her mind she was no longer a wife. At least not as far as she's concerned.

A few weeks ago she told me, to my face, that our entire relationship was a based on a lie she told herself when she was young and immature about who she thought she was supposed to be. She never really loved me. I was just a way out of the dead end life she used to lead.

Five years ago she decided she didn't want to work any more, so she quit. We wanted to stop renting, and started looking for a house. She found one she had to have, but her credit is awful so buying it together made us ineligible for a loan, so the deed is in my name.

Because I had to work more to support us, she got sick of me not being around to pay attention to her, and had her first affair. He was also married with children. Others followed.

The guilt got to her, not because of what she was doing behind my back, but because she realized she was on a path to doing the same thing asdid a relative who got pregnant during an affair while married and that was always shameful for her family.

She confessed. I offered to open the marriage in an effort to salvage it. I met an awesome woman. She met a fuckup the whole town hates. I warned her that he was trouble. This was ignored. She fell in love with him. He broke her heart, because he's a shitty human being who ruins everything he touches. Even his kid hates him.

Every day, she pines for him. That's what led her to realize she doesn't want to be married any more. Yet she still expects to live here for free, sleep in the bed my mother bought us as a wedding gift, have her bills paid and eat my food while she looks at Facebook all day.

Remember when Wile E. Coyote would fall off a cliff?

Karma is a bitch, jackass. I'm going to enjoy that takedown.


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191454.

My neighbors are 15 years younger than me and good kids.  By kids I mean about 40, probably a couple years younger.  Her dad just died suddenly and her father lived out of the state.  They usually get his mom to watch their dog, but she is going to the funeral so they asked if we would watch their dog.  

Hell yes I will watch your dog.  This evening for dinner I put a tie on their dog and took pictures, and then I texted them to tell them at our house we dress for dinner.

I hope they had a smile on their face tonight, if only for a little bit.


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191453.

I don't think it's wrong to wear a bra. I like wearing a bra. It makes me feel civilized, even elegant.


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191452.

Coming at this objectively, Trump is accused of sexual harassment. At the same time, the media has made up stories about Trump. Take this past weekend. A reporter claimed the audience was sparse at a Trump rally when in fact the place was full. It seems clear that the media has it in for Trump because he doesn't like them. They are willing to lie to make Trump look bad. All that said, I'm questioning the credibility of the stories saying Trump harassed women.


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191451.

I dont think I've ever truely listened to my whole heart in romantic situations. My head is always second guessing my heart and vise versa.


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191450.

Two lessons I've learned:

1) When you have a dog, don't leave any food sitting around.  He will find a way to get it and eat it.

2) When you have a wife, don't leave any cash sitting around....


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191449.

God, I'm so horny right now...I could tell you wanted me yesterday. The tension was THICK. Oh gosh. I was so close to closing the gap between us, but by then it would have been done. We wouldn't have stopped.

The shitty thing is, I'm pretty sure the main reason she wasn't on-board this time is because she could tell we were willing to rope her into it so we could fuck again. Fuck, just thinking about your dick pressing against me through your sweatpants is making me rub my thighs together.

Shit, this is why I didn't want to start this. We've been repressing our lust for each other for 5 years. So now that it's conditionally allowed, both of us want to recreate those circumstances again. I should have known by the way he watched us dance at that party last weekend. He wants both of us. He may love us in different ways, but he loves us both. And I'd happily fuck you both, because I love you in different ways as well.

Too bad there's no space for us to be a thruple.


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191448.

I do my best. I am learning to cook various things for him. I try to keep things clean as much as possible. I also try not to lose myself and keep learning things constantly with the little spare time he allows me. He always wants to go here, do that, drags me along to shop and then walks so fast  that I can't stop for a second to look at something - so that I don't get much out of it.  I want to look at something in particular, he says oh that would take too much time. Better to look online. But he wants to shop for something, I am left standing there doing nothing.

It only works because we are mostly alike. Go to bed late, sleep in, love food. The difference is tv. I can't stand watching tv more than a couple of hours. So I get on the computer and learn stuff and read. Can't do it sitting next to him for the constant interruptions.

Come spring I will have my own building to work in and will try to make something of myself. I love my family, but they have no interest in me, as long as I am alright.


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191447.

When I was a single gal working in New York City, I lived in an old pre-war building.  The apartments had been subdivided so the landlord could make more money. This led to odd quirks - like my bathroom had a shower and there was a small window right there on the wall. What kind of building code allows for a window in the shower? Making it worse, if I didn't open the window, the steam from the shower would fog up the mirror. So every day I'd take a shower with this little window open to the world. I can't imagine how many people saw me naked.


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191446.

441- I also feel your pain! I have always had Great Danes and they usually have a short life span. Mine have lived longer then usual. A female to 13, a male to 10 and a current female to 11 1/2. My newest one is 3 1/2. We are always hit hard when one dies, but we think about the new baby that will be coming into our lives. We try to get a new dog soon to fill the hole left behind. It's not that we want to forget the one we lost, but to have one to give our enormous amount of love to. We remember and talk about the ones that have left us and laugh at who they were and their personalities. They are always with us in our hearts! Life has to go one and maybe a new puppy to share life with will help you get back to that happy place. Dogs have a way of doing that.


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191445.

Smart Dad and smart son for listening and proceeding with divorce. Only gets worse over time. Hopefully no kids are involved and he can move on within a couple years with no strings attached. She will put him through hell in the court system, but he will come out much better off than he is now. I was manipulated in a similar way, but I admit I did see signs. Usually these women's facades have cracks and just like a nice house, if there are even minor cracks in the foundation, you don't want it. Don't be in denial or justify bad behavior or blame yourself. Get out of the relationship, marriage and kids NEVER make anything better.


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191444.

Last night I ate my partner's ass. I was nervous to do it cause... he is a dude and hairy and what if I taste poop?

We took a sexy shower then fooled around some more.

I just went for it. His reaction was so intense, to see the pleasure on his face as I stroked his cock and liked his hole... it got me super wet.

Then, I slid a finger in and he ground down onto it. Pumping with my hand, asking him... is this too hard? more? less? He took over control of his cock and had a beautiful orgasm.

It was such a turn on to push into my limits like that. I want to peg this man!


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191443.

My son got married a few years ago. Sweet girl with common sense and a decent work ethic.  I was happy for them.

Shortly after the wedding the woman began to change. Wasteful spending, unreasonable and mean spirited behavior. Little snippets of all the horrible behavior we read about here from the people trapped in horrible marriages.

He talked to my wife and I about it and I told him to get a divorce, no matter the financial cost. He filed the papers and suddenly she is the victim,  acting all sweet and loving again.

Run my son, run. If she gets every penny you have it will be better than the hell she will put you through.


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191442.

441- I feel your pain. I had to put my cat to sleep 2 days ago and it was devastating. I am so depressed and it feels like my heart has been ripped out. She was 15 years old and her illness came on quickly. She was suffering so bad and I had no choice but to end her suffering. I also look where she used to lay and feel so distraught and empty. I'm having trouble functioning and focusing. I feel as horrible as I did when my father died. I loved her more than most people. My life feels strange without her there to keep me company. I keep expecting to see her walking around or in her bed. It's very disturbing. Some people will say its just an animal ..but she was my baby too. It's so gut wrenching. I got a little kitty urn to put her ashes. The urn has places to insert her picture on the sides. I will remember her forever. I didn't expect this to hit me so hard, but it has.

You are not alone.  :(


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191441.

I miss my dog... I had to put her to sleep almost 3 weeks ago. Fuckin cancer! It still hurts so bad. I look at where she used to sleep next to me at night and cry. I'll be at work and memories of her just keep flooding my mind and make it hard to focus. I loved her so much, I didn't think it was possible to love a dog so much. The secret part, I miss my dog more than ANY of my family or friends that have died. I kinda feel shitty about that. She was my companion through everything I've went through for the last 8 years. She was there for me more than my friends. She was such a sweet affectionate puppers. I know she loved me too, I think it was the first true unconditional love I experienced.


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191440.

My children say I'm a boring mom. What they don't know is when I was in college I ran in the annual campus naked jog around the quad. I can't tell them that, but me boring? Not a chance!


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191439.

I have taken money for sec.
I have made porno
I have done things people only day dream about in bed
I enjoyed it..It was powerful made me feel amazing confident...

I quit doing it for so many reasons.

But looking at being homeless...I'll pick it up again in a heart beat to keep a roof over my kids heads to make sure they get a decent christmas


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191438.

It was unfair. To everyone involved. Not just you guys me too. I tried so hard in ways that will look like bullshit. My heart is broken.. I wish everyone could be happy and secure in their life.


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191437.

You want to know how I ended up with a vile wife? She lied to me. During the courtship she made herself out to be someone she was not.

I worked in the financial world. She had a tremendous interest in stock trading. First time she invited me over, there were a dozen finance books laying around. They were on her coffee table, on her bedside table, in the bathroom. Hot damn the woman was into trading.

I loved sex. She loved sex too. Every date ended in sex. I was getting it three four five times a week from her. She was wild too. She'd take off her underwear in a fancy restaurant and show me. She'd blow me in a cab. She wanted sex in the changing room of a fancy store.

She also came from money. I didn't want her money but it was a relief she didn't want mine cause she had her own.

I was into skiing. She was into skiing. She admitted she was terrible at it because she was from the south, but she loved skiing. I thought wow, I could help her improve.

At least these are the tales she told.

A year later we were married. Instantly the sex stopped. We never once went skiing and she'd give me hell if I tried to go without her. The money she had? A lie. Withing two months of being married she needed me to put cash in her bank account. The trading books. I since came to find out she bought them once she met me and placed them around her apartment so I'd think she was interested.

Lies lies lies.

She's a terrible wife. But she was really good at fabricating stories.

Not only do I hate her, I feel stupid. What was the fucking point of her ploy? She wanted to be married. She'd stop at nothing to make that happen. Mission accomplished on her part. She didn't care if she lied and ruined my life in the process. I know of no lower person on the planet.

I'm currently trying to unwind this position without losing my shirt.


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191436.

It was everything to me. I am sick with grief and worry. Why do things have to be so hard? Why is money such a bitch? Why does ANYone have to be alone?


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